guys-cut

Omg this guy totally cut me off getting on the bus and this kid almost did the same thing but he stopped and said, “No I’m sorry you go first. That was rude of me.”

A eight year kid has more manners than that thirty year old 😭😭😭

anonymous asked:

(same anon as the 6 yr age difference) forgot to mention that we had sex and i think i really like him but im not sure. but im going to take your advice and proceed with caution. i feel weird i think im trying to fill in a hole that past relationships have left and maybe thats why im getting feelings. not sure. well sry for bothering u and thank u

you care because you had sex with him. it means a lot when you’re younger. HUGE RED FLAG. he didnt do any of those nice things for nothing. he picked you up because he wanted to have sex with someone drunk and younger than him. that is some extremely predatory shit. please don’t do this to yourself. nevermind proceeding with caution completely cut this guy off. like please i can tell you with blistering confidence that this guy is a creepo no no

  • me: huh ddadds seems like pretty interesting and i have some money to spare on steam
  • me: oh wow, it looks pretty cute, and its based around the LGBT+ community
  • me: so i guess ill ask tumblr to see if its worth it
  • tumblr: hey
  • me: what
  • tumblr: you know that clean cut blonde guy you saw in the tags
  • me: yeah
  • tumblr: hes actually a leader of a cult
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: oh

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the pitch perfectness that was setting Wonder Woman during WW1? I mean, at first I was like…WWI? Why WWI? There was no clear cut bad guy in WWI. It was one of the most tragically pointless wars in human history.

But then I realized that was the point. In WWII it’s easy to point at Hitler and the Nazis and say, that’s them! that’s the bad guy. Just KILL THEM AND BE DONE WITH IT.

But the Point of Wonder Woman is that people, all people, are part of the problem. From Steve Trevor, who’s people, my people, massacred the Native Peoples, to the teenage German soldiers putting gas canisters on a plane, EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING IS  MIX OF GOOD AND BAD CHOICES, and a victim and a perpetrator of choices that lead to death and suffering and tragedy.

And that makes Diana’s choice to keep fighting for peace even better. Because she’s not out to defeat one big bad and get it over with. She’s out to fight for peace, and that is a war that will NEVER end. How is that not 10000 times braver than just killing one person and ending a war?

It is Tolkien’s long victory, the victory you only see after the end. And that fight is braver than anything else you can do because it is step by step, day after day, choice after choice.

Actual things that have happened in Miraculous Ladybug which I still can’t believe
  • Ladybug rode a giant flying hairdryer
  • Ladybug rode a dragon
  • A guy tried to take over Paris with pigeons
  • A chef encased an entire building in caramel and tried to cook a girl alive in a pool of soup
  • A 15 year old challenged a panther to a race and the owner was so upset he turned into a dinosaur and ate Ladybug
  • A rock star was sword-fighting with Chat Noir on a plank suspended at the top of the Eiffel Tower, using a guitar
  • Said rock star has a pet crocodile
  • A girl tried to fight off a butterfly with an umbrella while stuck in a lift
  • Chat Noir was murdered by a supervillain and died in Ladybug’s arms, in an early episode. No, really, he actually died, I’m not even kidding
  • Ladybug kissed Chat Noir for like 10 seconds while lying on the floor, and he didn’t remember it and she didn’t tell him
  • Chat Noir threw his bodyguard down a lift shaft from the 8th floor. This has never been brought up again.
  • A kid used magic bubbles to kidnap all the adults in Paris so he could throw a birthday party
  • Marinette went on a date with a supervillain
  • Ladybug tossed Chat Noir in a river
  • Some smartie in the 19th century invented the hologram and then… didn’t tell anyone?? Except their family?? Why would you keep such awesome new technology a secret??
  • A 186 year old and his turtle sidekick started shipping two teenagers because of an umbrella
  • A guy cut the entire Eiffel Tower in half
  • A strict rich fashion designer pretended to be a butterfly and then pretended to be an aeroplane, and also another time said he was the Easter Bunny
  • A ridiculously competent toddler managed to brainwash Chat Noir
  • Santa Claus dabbed

You know how people working in retail always have ‘weird customer stories?’

Sam and Dean Winchester are those weird customers.

There are probably whole online forums dedicated to this, now that I think about it. Started as a joke on reddit and then people from all over the country start to chime in.

Two huge guys came in today and bought 20 cartons of Morton’s salt and a box of Hello Kitty bandaids. Nothing else.

Had a similar experience! Two guys come in: one guy buys a ton of salt and like 50 pocket-sized lighters, the other puts a divider between them and buys a single slice of cherry pie from the bakery. They leave together.

Lol same here. Salt and bandaids. Did one of em have long hair? XD

I work at the butcher’s downtown. We had two super buff scary dudes come in asking for any buckets of lamb’s blood we might have “lying around.” Past closing time. I gave it to them but it was freaky as hell.

Omg what’s with the salt conspiracy? But yeah same I work at a Christmas tree farm and sometimes we catch these two guys cutting down trees at night. It’s always the same two guys and they only cut the stumps off. Why.
EDIT: one of them did have long hair actually!!

This is unrelated but I once had a guy in a trench coat physically assault me because we were out of pie. This was AFTER he cracked an egg onto the floor and knocked over everything in sight.

2

are you trying to tell me 
something with your eyes?
if you’re gonna do it, you better do it right
or my heart won’t stop swelling [x]

here, have my one contribution to the marichat may collab – day 13: sin :’D 

[if you have seen my older stuff, i tried to kinda throwback to my heartstrings doodles with this lol]

i drew these kinda chaotically across one page, but there is an order :’D if you can’t figure out the intended order, check below the cut~

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yknow what. it’s in the am hours. ive had at least 2 alcoholic beverages tonighit. and i have decided that once im out of tech school im gonna get a degree in ye olde literature just so i can write a groundbreaking paper about how cu chulainn (the actual myth one not the anime one) is a fucking trans icon. my guy is incredibly trans. lets just take a good look at the facts here folks

-these stories were written down by monks with an obviously christian agenda they edited the story to adhere to, in some parts more obviously so than others. considering the roman catholic hatred of trans people at the time, it would not be unreasonable to assume that if cu chulainn was in fact trans in the originals that were being written down said monks would attempt to cover that up by making him cis.

-dude changed his name which is a very trans™ thing 2 do obviously

-the whole thing with the curse and how he was the only one ready to throw the fuck down while all the other men were in bed with the pains of birth like this is such a classic example of using gendered language in magic shenanigans to ur advantage

-often described as being small & beardless “this is supposed to show he’s young” but is it really??? it’s not uncommon for masculine women to be mistaken for young men and him being both notably small and unable to grow a beard is brought up several times in text. either way it’s not like being young and being trans are mutually exclusive. really makes you think.

-alright here’s the big kicker that really says Cu Chulainn Is Trans 2 me in big shiny letters: he had to prove himself as Really Being That Tough over & over again to a frankly ridiculous degree. multiple times (at least 2 in the tain bo cuailnge that i can remember rn) there’s some enemy fuck who knows god damn well the one in front of them is cu mother fucking chulainn who has been absolutely obliterating his enemies by the hundreds but the moment they see him & notice he’s beardless (again, this is usually interpreted as meaning he’s young but that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case) they’re like “nah I’m not fighting that get me a real enemy” and cu has to put on a fake beard to convince them he really is A Big Tough Dude Who Can Kick Your Ass. another time in the tain cu used his sick sword skills to make a fool of someone who was mocking him and the fucking idiot didn’t stop even after cu literally shaved the guys head clear & cut off his clothes with a sword. there’s one story (called bricriu’s feast) of a competition where cu easily beat everyone by a wide margin in everything they compete in but none of the other contestants wanted to accept the result so they kept bringing in other judges trying to get someone other than cu to be declared winner. 

there’s this really weird refusal of people in the ulster cycle to accept that cu chulainn is as good at things as he is (specifically things considered masculine like fighting) and idk about all yall but that really fucking screams good old fashioned transphobia to me lads. like trans folks are still dealing with this shit in modern day with athletes not being allowed to compete with their own fucking gender bc it ~wouldnt be fair~ or other such nonsense. this fuck shit with ppl absolutely refusing to acknowledge cu as possibly being good at Man Things is incredibly Trans Relatable™.

-ALSO i just remembered this but there’s also at least one and i’m pretty sure more than one time where cu talks to people who are like “yea we’re trying to hunt down cu chulainn” and they don’t realise he is in fact that very same cu chulainn or are even remotely suspicious of him which would make a lot more sense if they mistook him for a woman

in conclusion: hes trans

L'appel Du Vide

Okay so one thing I haven’t seen touched upon by the humans are weird/space orcs trend is the call of the void.

Human: okay so every human has this instinct in the back of their mind that tells them to do things they know will kill them, hurt them, or ruin their life. A man standing on the edge of a cliff looking down suddenly gets the urge to jump, a woman in a star cruiser gets the ugre to steer directly into the path of an oncoming cruiser, a guy is cutting meat and their dog is begging for some, the urge to stab their dog pops into their head. We call it the call of the void.

Alien:…
Human:…
Alien: HOW ARE ANY OF YOU ALIVE!!!?!1!

Getting Along - Smut

Originally posted by teenwolf-theoriginals

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Stiles/Isaac/Reader threesome
Words: 3,907
AN: This took me forever to write I’m so mad about it but I hope ya’ll enjoy it. Thanks to @writing-obrien for proofreading and @celestial-writing for helping me with plot, as usual.


It wasn’t a secret that Stiles and Isaac weren’t exactly friends. They tolerated each other because of Scott, for the good of the pack. But Stiles thought Isaac was a snob, and Isaac found Stiles to be highly annoying. The only thing they had in common was their affections for you.

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Aliens find out about Human Body Modification

I’ve seen a lot of these about how humans will cause serious harm to themselves, even cutting off pieces of themselves if trapped.
But, what about the first time a naive alien race encounters all the on purpose stuff humans do to their bodies for no logical reason other that “i like it”

Aliens know about injecting pigments into human skin for aesthetics, and that was weird. What rational species would willingly do that to themselves? But, they got through that and everything was fine.
But one day, this really really strange specimen of an human came on board.
This on had horns under it’s skin on it’s head, and it’s earlobes we’re punctured and discs the were in the holes… and these aren’t biological replacements, these discs were large and made of fibrous matter later identified as “exotic wood”
But the horns… the aliens are dumbfounded.
Some alien species grow horns, of course, but no one had ever seen a human with such appendages.
And they were tiny, so small as to have not even broken through the skin yet for the bone material to show.
Was this human only just beginning it’s maturation cycle?
What about the other humans without horns? Will they grow horns?
Are the horns part of a reproductive cycle, and would they be subject to the same will to have sex organs covered as most other human have?

Finally, an alien who had spent like enough time with humans to have learned the idea of ‘asking a hard question’ greets this new human and inquires about these horns.

The response?

“Oh yeah, man… my implants… I had them installed a year ago”

*incredulously* “installed?”

“Yeah, they’re just silicone. Not real horns, I just wanted to look like I have horns, so I found a guy that cut my head open and put them in”

*agahst* “you had another human cut into your head and insert a foreign object into it simply because you wanted to look different?”

“Yep, pretty much”
“Just wait until I tell you about that time I was pierced by large hooks in my back and hung on then to swing around and have fun. That’s a great story, wanna see the scars”

Three surrounding aliens faint, and one runs back to the captain screaming in terror that they had found the Alpha-Reckless Human….

Your bad driving caused you to not get hired.

(warning: long story)

Background: I work for a construction company that has many divisions but I work in the new construction section. I’ve been working at this company for about 5 years but actually worked along with my Dad who had 30+ years at the same company. Because of his long tenure in not only the field but with the company I got a lot of inside perks. I created a lot of very beneficial professional relationships through him. My dad recently became very sick (suffering from liver and throat cancer stage 4) and had to stop coming to work. My Dad and I were the only office guys in the department, so once he stepped away I became number 1 guy in the department, making all the decisions. This detail will come into play later.

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Crush

Summary: Everything about Bucky Barnes drives you wild…that’s basically the plot…

Warnings: smut, sexual tension

A/N: I spent today writing my own mini thesaurus, by hand, and I came up with this idea during my breaks.


“Fuck!” Your back slammed down against the thick mat, air shoot out of your lungs.

“If you’re not paying close attention to your enemies you’re going to get yourself killed. What the hell has you so distracted?” Steve stretched a hand out, helping you up.

“N-Nothing.” You huffed, avoiding eye contact with the super soldier in front of you.

That was a lie, a big fat lie. You were completely distracted by the man across the room, the one with the glistening metal arm and the chocolate brown hair. Motherfucking Bucky Barnes. 

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C: I will never understand why mothers – especially black mothers – always expect their black daughters and black girls to do everything around the house while black men and black boys get a pass. I understand doing chores around the house if your young, but it just seems the black girls are pushed do it it all while the black boys just sit around. The most “work” I’ve seen a black guy do is cutting the grass, cooking occasionally, and cleaning and taking care of his shoes. Black girls on the other hand have to pick up looking after every body at a young age, and when she doesn’t she’s suddenly not helping out. I’m sick of it tbh.