guys my mum wants me to marry

In today’s episode of So My Brother is a Dick

Him: “Every single woman wants to get married and have kids.”

Me: “Not necessarily.”

Him: “Yes, every single woman. That’s all they want, suck some bloke in and get a ring on her.”

Me: “Got a hot flash for you - that’s not a woman’s single goal in life.”

Him: “Yes, it is.”

Mum in the front seat: “Women have more choice now.”

Him: “No, they fuckin’ don’t. All that lovey dovey sweetie stuff is fuckin’ bullshit. All they want is money and security.”

Me: “Women do just fine with that on their own.”

Him: “Like fuck, they do.”

Me: “You’re gonna sit there and try to tell a woman what a woman wants?”

Him: “Yep. None of you can hack it without a man.”

Me: “Rightio, so what are you offering to a woman, then? You reckon you’ve got money and security? Because emotional support’s off the menu, eh?”

Him: (fumes)