guys laugh im funny

jason: yeah green was my favourite colour as a kid but i dont really like it anymore cuz of associations with the lazarus pit ya know?

kyle: welp time to change my colour scheme i guess

acotar: a court of tans and redheads 

acomaf: a court of more tans and faker tans 

acowar: a court of whites and really fake tans 

Intimate Kitchen

Originally posted by exoturnback

Genre: Fluff (boyfriend!Baekhyun)

Word count: 2.2k+

Remarks: My very first one shot as saltbaek! The original piece was only around 1k written several years ago for my friend before I revamped the whole thing and lengthened it a few days ago. Pretty cliche but I thought of sharing it with you guys something longer since I’ve only written several drabbles so far! Hope you guys like it! ( ˘ ³˘)♥

As the sun rises, rays of sunlight pierced through the curtains, slightly lighting up the room in a golden yellow shade which gives out a sort of romantic feel. Groaning in your sleep, you shuffled around on the bed and tried to touch the area next to you, feeling no warmth much to your disappointment. You lazily opened one of your eyes in a frown to peek at the space beside you. Empty. You tried looking around the room. No sight of your sweetheart. You even tried to sit up sleepily and perked your ears to listen to any sound of him around in the apartment but the only thing you hear is the sigh that left your lips. You’re too lazy to wake up still, so you snaked your hand to your phone on the bedside table to check whether if he left you a message. As if on cue, your phone vibrates and lights up, signaling a message notification, from the love of your life. You grinned at his timing and giggled as you read the message.

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omg you guys, i’m getting anons angry(?) at me for making a marichat post AND ALSO for making a gif sarcastically slamming marichat—– and i don’t   know how to react like

you guys are way too funny i m going to die



This week, we rate your pets!!! We were sent SO MANY, so we apologize if your pet didn’t make it into the video! We had an absolute blast making this so maybe we’ll revisit this idea again in the future. Your pets were beautiful and so are you!


Decode this poem for a dank meme

Look at her face
If you saw her eyes
you would have noticed that empty stare
had you paid attention to her
One day might have turned into a lifetime
shot in the dark
Or was i to blame
one might say
opportunity comes knocking
To be the one she loved
seize that opportunity while you still can
everything you do
you do for her
ever think you were
wanted, needed, conceited
In one way you love her
one day you covet her
moment by moment slipped away
Would you try and seize the day
you let pass by
capture photos, lazy eyed
Or feel like you were still 16
just a kid
let it bleed
it was something you let
slip through loose fingertips
Yo i think i loved her
His arms around her, my
palms were damp with hate
are you sure you didn’t underestimate
sweaty hands, shaky words
knees were scraped
weak stomach
arms couldn’t hold it
are you sure
heavy men float
There’s nothing more vile than hate
vomit could never disseminate
on this day we knew the earth would quake
his beady eyes drawn to her
sweater weather, we were together
already loving although not forever
mom’s don’t appreciate
spaghetti straps or my disgrace

lmao my brother just told me that today, when he was doing grocery shopping with our dad, the two of them were at the female hygiene section and they were picking up the brand of pads my mom and I use (my dad and bro have always been the ones in charge of stacking up our bathroom with pads and tampons whenever we so much start showing signs of our periods coming up) and this guy that’s around his mid 30′s suddenly comes up to the two of them and says shit about ‘how embarrassing must be for him and his dad to be getting this items’ and that ‘next time he should just tell his wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever to pick the pads themselves, it’s not like they’re drying or something’ and my dad and bro are just there speechless because of the attitude of the guy and they look just a bit off to the side of the guy and there’s a girl that’s clearly with him, and my dad just looks directly at her and says, from the bottom of his heart, ‘I’m sorry you have to deal with this kind of shit, dear’ and she kinda just nods and says ‘well, not anymore’ and looks at the guy that’s suddenly aware that she was standing there and says ‘because guess who’s without a girlfriend now. We are OVER (insert asshole’s name here cuz’ my bro couldn’t remember)’ and she just drops whatever items she had in her hands and walks away

Brendon: *hits blunt*

Sarah: how high are you right now?

Brendon: I don’t know, like, 5′7″