guys i think she knows

anonymous asked:

pls expand on your ridiculous experiences during one semester at a fake college

okay I got a few asks about this so let me see what I can remember right now. These might not all be in chronological order

- At orientation, they were talking about the reservation near campus and all these pretty sites and this kid in the back of the auditorium goes “So uhh…heard this place might be built over a Native American burial ground?”

- The speaker: “…Let’s not think about that, okay?”

- The freshman were on campus alone for like a week and a half (other than the RA’s) before the other students and I just. The parties. Were out of control. An ambulance was called basically every night.

- I walked into the bathroom the first night there to find a girl literally dying because someone slipped something in her drink and she was having a Very Bad Reaction

- Sting- you know, the singer- ‘s son lived in my residence hall. This boy almost accidentally killed me on three separate occasions (while I was just trying to do my laundry)

- I told my family about this at Thanksgiving. Everyone in the room advised me to seduce him

- I ate breakfast in the dining hall exactly once. I got scrambled eggs. I noticed no one had brought out ketchup with the condiments and politely asked about it. I received glares from at least ten different people. Apparently people there don’t believe in ketchup on eggs.

- There were these two boys in my English class known as “The Lumbard Guys”. They didn’t live in my residence hall, but they would come over almost every night, start a party, and destroy part of the basement.

- At orientation this one kid got mad and set his shoe on fire to prove a point

- Also at orientation like??? My roommate disappeared???? And I never saw her again???

- Listen like…this campus just looked like the perfect setting for a horror film, but none of the people from the area got that. They all thought I was crazy until some comic from Comedy Central did a stand up act and said “Why the hell is this campus so creepy? I feel like I’m gonna leave here with someone else wearing my face!”. I felt way too validated.

- ALL OF MY CLASSES WERE SO FAKE

- My “math” class was actually a disguised home ec. course???? All we had were word problems that were incredibly detailed recipes or instructions on how to fix things. The teacher, who I swear to GOD was actually my Mr-Rogers-Wannabe guidance counselor from high school in disguise, spent more time trying to come up with names and backstories for the models in the text book than actually trying to teach

- I had to take a class called “first year seminar” because neither of my parents went to college. It was supposed to be teaching you about how the school works and stuff but SUPRISE BITCH WE’RE JUST GONNA YELL ABOUT RACISM AND PRIVELGE FOR AN HOUR.

- Literally that’s all we did. Just the whole class bonding over all these struggles we had gone through and getting fired up. Like, it was great, but I also ended up knowing very little about campus and school stuff bc that was the class that was supposed to be teaching me lmao

- My Psych teacher was fucking hysterical for the first few classes but then he just. Vanished. I had to drop the class

- My Fine Arts teacher just. Couldn’t stick to a teaching plan. Her entire wardrobe was scarves. She was very passionate about African masks. She had a flapper haircut. She spoke quietly, but with a marvelously forced tone of voice that I’m certain was her trying to sound impressive and hide a Boston accent. She didn’t seem to understand the year was 2014. She took us into the city to go to the Art Museum and we lost her in there, never to be seen again

- I’m not even kidding

- My “writing” teacher was my absolute fav omfg. She was this long grey haired hippie lady who worked as a nurse for the Grateful Dead and was still stuck there. She may or may not have hooked up with my uncle. I was her favorite student because one day I came in wearing a “HAIR” shirt. She wanted to take the class to England for the sole purpose of going on a Beatles tour

- But like…she did not teach a writing class omfg. She taught a social justice class. All we did was have informed debates about The Issues and listen to music and occasionally watch the Breakfast Club. Every time there was a big paper due on the syllabus, she’d just sit on her desk and go “I mean, I don’t have to cover anything, right? You guys know how to write!” Like I genuinely don’t think she knew what class she was teaching

- There was a boy who sat next to me in that class. He was deaf in one ear and used that as an excuse when he got caught blatantly not paying attention. It worked every time. But I was right next to him. I saw him playing Yu-Gi-Oh on some website on his phone under the table. One time we started talking about model cars and he pre-cummed.

- There was a boy who roamed the campus in a long black trench coat and a weird hat. I never saw his body and started to suspect he might not have one, just the theory of one. He took interest in me because I was the only person in class who ever got his Doctor Who jokes. He’d come up to me at dinner and blast quiz me on various nerd culture before running off and disappearing into the shadows. Just as I was starting to grudgingly accept I was probably going to have to eventually hook up with him for the greater good, I apparently offended him by saying I like Picard more than Kirk. He didn’t stick around to listen to my reasoning. Whenever I saw him after that he would loudly start talking about how great his girlfriend was. Everyone knew he was lying. I wonder if Kirk ever sucked his theoretical dick as well as I would have.

- I gave a football player a shout out on Yik Yak. He really appreciated it, and gave me some fries laced with weed as a thanks. That was such A Night ™ , I watched the Lorax and left the dimension.

- Every time we had dances, this creepy guy named Horace would find me and use my obvious discomfort to make me dance with him. He’d hold my wrists and shove his crotch on mine while vaguely swaying to the beat. I had to escape to the bathroom every few minutes. Finally the security just banned him from the events altogether. I can still see his face clearly in my mind.

- One night, I walked into the bathroom to find a perfect, untouched pizza laying on the floor…but not in a box. Someone literally just took it out of the box and laid it down. I’m still fuming.

- One time I was in the mostly empty library when I smelled something. I walked down the rows of shelves before rounding the corner, and found the President of the college hidden there, sitting on the floor, smoking, a bottle of vodka in his hands. We held eye contact for a solid minute. He slowly shook his head at me. I said “Sir, your house is like…literally across the street.” He shook his head more vigorously. I left the library.

- One night, I heard screaming. I looked out the window to find a girl in a giraffe costume scaling my building. People were throwing water bottles at her. I was concerned. I didn’t know who to talk to for answers.

- I was in line trying to pay for dinner. One of the lunch ladies climbed on top of the ice cream machine and refused to come down. Her friend came over and they started recreating the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Very few people acknowledged it.

- Someone jacked up the soda dispenser so it was only dispensing beer. None of the staff cared enough to fix it.

- I caught my RA in the middle of a drug deal so she gave me a coupon for free ice cream

- Also side note: The soft served ice cream machine on campus was actually a frozen yogurt machine. I had no problem with that, but like, advertise correctly, you know? Nobody else seemed to understand my confusion. Nobody else seemed to understand that froyo and ice cream are two different things. What the hell.

- There were just…so many moths all over the campus. A terrifying amount. When it started getting colder I was like, finally, I won’t be attacked by moths anymore! Only for even more moths to appear. I asked a local about it. “Oh, those are the winter moths!” What the fuck are winter moths? What the fuck, Massachusetts? My friend back home grew convinced that Mothman was in the area. I was inclined to believe her. Sometimes I close my eyes and all I can see are moths everywhere, waiting for the moment to strike.

-  I’ve encountered deer many times in my life. I know how they act around people. But the deer on this campus were just weird. They’d run out at people all the time. One almost shoved me into traffic.

- My roommate gave my phone number out to literally anyone she found who mentioned they liked to read or liked Doctor Who. She was concerned I had no friends. No one ever called.

- I met a small Greek girl in my Fine Arts class. Our first day of talking, she made me climb a mountain with her so she could get to tutoring, even though I had no reason to be in that building. Her roommates kept mysteriously disappearing. She was late to everything. She’d call me randomly to get food at 1 in the morning. She kept somehow breaking phones and tvs and other electronics. When I asked her how they kept breaking, she waved it off with “Oh, I have OCD. You wouldn’t understand”. I have OCD, and I still don’t understand. One time she invited me out with her friends from high school. I waited outside her building for two hours, while the other friends waited in the parking lot for two hours, because we didn’t know how to find each other. She eventually came outside at 10:30 pm. We went to Friendly’s. She made us stop at her house so she could grab something. We pulled up a long, winding driveway and stopped in a parking lot. At the end of the parking lot were stone stairs that lead up to a mansion on a hill. She ran inside and the rest of us stayed in the car, listening to High School Musical and talking about Supernatural. When she came out 40 minutes later we decided to try and prank her. It went wrong. We almost ran over her friend’s sister with the car. They invited me to a pumpkin patch. When I started complaining about my roommate, she asked me to move in with her. I thought about the other three girls who had seemingly gone missing. I politely declined. Six months after I left the school, I received a text from her asking for notes for an exam, and radio silence after that. I can’t find her on facebook. I fear she might have gone missing too.

- One night, as I was standing outside huddled in the cold, a boy came up and offered me a cigarette to help me stay warm. I turned it down, but he stood around talking to me for a few minutes afterwards. I felt absolutely no awkwardness at all. He was a musician from Colorado. He sang a bit of one of his songs. He was dropping out of school to go to California the next week. He told me I had beautiful eyes, but his were the most alive eyes I’ve ever seen so I couldn’t believe the compliment. We talked for about ten minutes and I fell a little bit in love. He had to rush off to a club meeting, but he told me he’d rather keep talking. He gave me the sweetest smile before he left. I didn’t get his last name or number and I never saw him again.

- There was a dance on Halloween. I couldn’t think of a sufficiently slutty yet classy costume, so I just went as Osgood from Doctor Who. When I got there there was a huge crowd, but people quickly grew bored and started leaving. There ended up being six people left (myself included). We stayed because we could see the upset faces of everyone who had planned the event, but actually had one of the most fun nights of my life. We- myself, the girl from across the hall, Trench Coat Boy, his tiny friend who never spoke, and a boy and girl I didn’t know who seemed to be professional dancers- danced nonstop for almost three hours. The strobe lights and poppy music solidified an unspoken bond. I had never and to this day haven’t felt as free as I did that night. The tiny quiet boy’s smile could have lit up a city. It’s etched into my mind. We all left the dance talking about the surreal feeling in the air, as if something had shifted. None of us ever mentioned the dance again. It’s still one of my fondest memories.

- For a solid month, there was someone in a gorilla costume running around campus.

- There was a rash of sexual assaults on campus. A gang of boys kept jumping girls in the woods. The only thing the school board did was give out free rape whistles at lunch one day. I missed that day, making me one of the only students on campus without a whistle. Later that night when I ordered pizza, the delivery guy tried to start up a conversation with me about all the assaults. He blamed the girls. I took back my tip.

- Sometimes the showers just…filled up with black sludge. No one knew why.

- The girls in the room next to me were very bizarre. They always shot me odd looks and whispered to each other constantly. I couldn’t figure out if they were sleeping together or not. They never washed their hands when we were in the bathroom.

- The doors to each dorm were thick and heavy and required effort to push them open. My roommate and I made sure to lock ours every night, and would triple check it. It swung open by itself almost every night. The channels on the tv would change with the remote equidistance away from us. Sometimes I heard humming in the showers when I was the only one in there.

- My roommate…deserves a whole separate post dedicated to her, honestly.

- She would call her mother and have her do her homework for her. She blasted music constantly, and it was either country or hard rap, nothing in between. She sexiled me constantly. I once walked in on anal. She’d meet guys on Tinder, fall in love with them after a couple of days, and then bring them into the school and into our room like it was no big deal. One of them made it clear he was a budding serial killer. She was in a new drama every week. One time someone called her a dilf on Yik Yak. She was firmly convinced her cousin was blonde because her aunt dyed her hair when she was pregnant. She tried her hardest to get me laid by a football player. She was the loudest drunk I’ve ever encountered. Honestly there’s just too much about her for this omfg

- John Zaffis, the famous paranormal researcher, came to the school on my birthday. I went because I’m a loser who’s been watching shows with him since I was a kid, and I was having a bad day so I decided it could be a treat. I sat in the front row. He held an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with me the entire presentation. He was impressed with my questions. He lamented about the fact he’s always cut out of movies or replaced by priests that look like him. He apparently came to the school every year around Halloween to do a ghost tour around the campus for the students. A girl allegedly killed herself in my floor’s bathroom. He apparently always got a lot of activity around the campus. Everyone in the freshman class started wondering if the rumors about the Native American burial ground were true.

- One time in “writing” class the teacher gave us a number and then whatever song came up as that when we put our music on shuffle we had to play for the class. I ended up with “Touch Me” from Spring Awakening. Midway through the song, the teacher from another class came to complain that they could hear everything. My teacher tried to defend that all music has an important message. “Molly, dear, tell her the message in this song!” I looked around the room and at the other teacher. “It’s about sex,” I said quietly. She stormed out of the room while the class started laughing.

- There was this girl that just had the natural ability to make anything boring. I feel bad saying that, because she’s such a sweet girl, and she’s smart, and she’s gorgeous, and she’s talented, but just…every time she says anything, it’s boring. I’m still friends with her on facebook, the talent transcends to writing as well. You could be having a fun, lively conversation and she could say something completely relevant to the point and yet it would still just be boring. It’s a baffling talent, I still don’t understand how she does it.

- There was a boy who’d come into my room. He lusted over my s’mores poptarts. He kept trying to hit the high notes in Broadway songs. He didn’t understand my sense of humor at all, so we both were constantly worried we were offending each other. He cried about Selena Gomez a lot.

- The dining hall only offered horrendous food. I had pasta almost every night because it was the only thing remotely edible. If you wanted good food, you had to go to Late Night, which was between like 10:30 and 1 I think??? They set it up specifically for stoners and people leaving parties. I was frequently the only sober person there. Except for the moths.

- The chief at the pasta place found out I like theater and got like…weirdly passionate about it. He kept telling me about different theater groups in the area and wanted to know if I was in the school musical. He asked me every time I went up for food.

- There was a disproportionate amount of large black birds to trees. It wasn’t hard to figure out why we so rarely saw smaller animals

- When I told my advisor I was thinking about leaving (mostly for financial reasons but also the fake classes were preventing me from getting an education I wanted, you know?), this little old man looked around his office as if checking for people listening in, then put his hand on top of mine, leaned in close, and whispered “Oh, you sweet little girl. Run as fast as you can.”

There’s definitely more but listen. This school was weird and fake and vaguely surreal and off-kilter. I am fully afraid that one day, years from now, I’m going to be driving through the back roads and pass the place where the campus should be, only I won’t find anything there at all, and won’t be able to find any trace of it ever existing. I won’t be able to find any record of it. I won’t be able to find a record of any of the people. Every time I think about this place I just get a weird feeling, like I somehow managed to escape the Twilight Zone but left a part of me behind in the process. Be careful when applying to college, kids.

Oh my god, in last night’s Bob’s Burgers, Bob takes Gene to a laser light rock show at the planetarium (super important to Bob, because it was his favorite when he was a teenager, and this is the last night before they’re closing the exhibit because it’s old and no one goes anymore, also it’s Bob’s birthday), and Gene has no idea what he’s in for, but he gets pumped for it anyway ‘cause Bob’s so excited about it, and finally they get in there and they’re watching it, and Gene has a sensory overload and kinda starts freaking out ‘cause he can’t handle it, so Bob takes him out and they sit in the car for a bit.  Gene’s angry because Bob didn’t tell him it would be so loud and scary, so Bob offers to play the album for Gene at a normal volume, and Gene starts to enjoy it, so he reclines the seats, takes out the cigarette lighter, tells Gene to pretend it’s a laser, and starts drawing in the air, explaining the plot to him (it’s like a full on Pink Floyd or Rush-esque rock opera about a bunch of robot overlords telling rockers that they can’t play music anymore, and one Rebel rising against them).  Gene gets really into it and decides he wants to see the finale of the laser show (which Bob regards as a life-changing experience), so they sneak back into the planetarium (there’s no re-entry allowed) with a few tricks that parallel the story from the album, and watch the climax of the show together (Bob fashions some earplugs for Gene out of a napkin).  On the way home, Bob’s asking Gene how he liked it, and Gene says “I loved it!”, Bob asks him to speak louder ‘cause his ear’s are shot, and Gene yells, “I LOVED IT, DAD”.  Bob yells back “I love you too, Gene”.

I FUCKING!!! CAN’T!!! DEAL!!!! WITH HOW GOOD THIS SHOW IS!!! I know i don’t talk about Bob’s Burgers a lot but this show is flawless and charming and gross and funny all at the same time, the characters are written like people with actual fears and anxieties, and unlike a lot of comparable shows, the comedy doesn’t come from the family being pitted against each other, it’s always the family against the world… I love it, I love it, it’s so pure and refreshing and still somehow manages to be funny without sacrificing it’s heart, and I fuckin’ love it, please watch Bob’s Burgers holy CRAP okay I’m done.

7

“…and it was then that Elrond first saw Celebrían, and loved her, though he said nothing of it.” - History of Galadriel and Celeborn.

(totally ridiculous and ooc I’m sure but just let me indulge myself in cheesy romantic subplots haha… I also have a Thing for nerdy, lovesick, lovingly-and-adorably-awkward-around-his-crush Elrond okay??)

Supposed to take place after this comic.

Also tumblr screws up the quality of this so click on each image to read it easier :’)

Like…I don’t really care if interviewers don’t outwardly ask or acknowledge Kate’s lesbianism during interviews because she’s a private person and that’s her prerogative. But for the love of god, can we stop having interviews where she’s asked about men in a sexual or even romantic context? Can we stop with the heterosexism that plagues so many of her encounters with these entertainment “journalists”? It’s so uncomfortable and while she handles it well, I can’t imagine she enjoys being put in that position. It’s honestly just disrespectful.

The Steven Universe fandom reminds me of why I hate like 99% of fandoms on tumblr and hate even looking them up in the tags anymore
its like all people care about is the Race,gender and sexually of character and nothing else and tries to put here political views in them
Not to mention they are hypocritical hell
They bitch about how they don’t want the Bronies to “Take over their fandom” yet when I go in the Uncle Grandpa tag I see these same people tagging their hate ruining it for people who actually enjoy the show.
Look bruh
I’m sorry that Uncle Grandpa isn’t ubber deep like Steven Universe is
but one goofy episode is gonna kill the show okay?
lets not forget all the other shows that crossed over with cartoons that had no similarities in plot or characters
* cough,cough THE GRIM ADVENTURES OF BILLY AND MANDY CROSSED OVER KIDS NEXT DOOR cough LILO AND STITCH CROSSED OVER WITH KIM POSSIBLE, RECESS AND PROUD FAMILY cough*
If you don’t like Uncle Grandpa fucking great, you don’t like something that’s cool just don’t flood the tagg with your hate ITS NOT THAT HARD

STOP GETTING ANGRY OVER CARTOONS

Also sorry to all the sane people in the SU fandom that has to put up with this SU/UG hate and other B.S

I saw it and then I had to do it I HAD TO DO IT

It’s official now Benny can play piano I’m going to worm that into all of the oneshots I’ve written somEHOW

Bonus starstruck Ethan:

“MY BOYFRIEND PLAYS SO GOOD???”

10

Episode of the Week - 2x16: The Boneless Bride in the River

okay so i was having thoughts this morning about how i believe that obi-wan was probably t h e best master for anakin under the circumstances (and a few others) and how as much as i hate predestination, if you accept anakin as (one of?) the chosen one(s), then he is fated to bring about the fall of the Jedi - cos you can’t have balance when the lightside outnumbers the darkside by as much as it does. and i started thinking about how what if the universes where obi-wan is his master greatly delays him fucking off to the darkside and bringing about the end of the Order? well, he was all of 23 when that happened, which means in other universes, where obi-wan is not his master, he probably abandons the order much younger than that.

okay, so - an au where.

an au where qui-gon lives. despite reasons why it probably wouldn’t happen, he becomes anakin’s master, obi-wan fucks off to do Knight Things and Grow As His Own Person. anakin has his canonical crisis of faith and great realization that being a jedi is difficult and not actually all that he thought it was going to be. he fucks off from the order - say around the age of fifteen?

qui-gon, despite everything, goes off to hunt him. despite this “betrayal”. after all, anakin is the chosen one, right? so he even goes so far as to call in obi-wan to help him find anakin. meanwhile, anakin is employing every last trick in the book to remain out of reach. he won’t go back - he won’t. he can do more good out there in the galaxy, instead of tied down by the (hostile, tbh) jedi order.

it just so happens that obi-wan finds him. rather than try to arrest him or anything (leaving the order is not a ‘take into custody’ offense, as obi-wan well knows) and actually talks to anakin about the reasons why he’s fucked off. he finds the reasons understandable. besides, becoming a jedi is not being conscripted. anakin has the right to leave if he feels like it. obi-wan tells him that it’s fucking dangerous for a half-trained force sensitive out there in the wild galaxy, but when anakin doesn’t change his mind (because he’s hella stubborn tbh) obi-wan is just like “welp” and lets him go. he tells qui-gon he never found anakin, but that it’s really unreasonable to hunt the kid down for fucking off. it’s another thing that qui-gon and obi-wan don’t see eye-to-eye with.

so that’s that, right? they’ll never see the chosen one again.

but wait, there’s more. So of course the Sith find anakin. he must bring balance to the force. Dooku and Sidious play bad cop/good cop until anakin is firmly under Sidious’ thumb. (presumably, Qui-gon would have found nine hundred different ways to keep anakin away from palpatine, who might even have been the one to plant the idea of running off into anakin’s head on the few times when he was allowed to speak with the kid). anakin goes corrupt, as you do when siths are fucking with your head, and the story proceeds.

here it is, the fall of the jedi order, and order 66.

ymmv what happens to qui-gon. does he live through even this? or is he shot down protecting obi-wan? in either case, obi-wan survives as he tends to, trying to regroup with the rest of the surviving Jedi. of course, you have this wretched sith lord, Darth Vader, hunting them all down. his skill with a blade is unparalleled. no jedi who has faced him has survived.

when he finds them, obi-wan stays back, sacrificing himself to save the others. and yet, to his surprise, darth vader does not kill him. darth vader himself does not understand entirely why, only that once when he was very young, a jedi heard him out and let him go.

he does not let obi-wan go, but neither does his blade fall.

4

Danny gets Phantom on the weekends makes sense that the text on my birthday is my trash ship

2

i’ve been trying to post a drawing every day so…here’s some lineless practice with allura holding… molten steel? a star? you decide.

“even when you think it’s time to give up
don’t.
take care of you and find yourself again if you need to
:)”
- Moony 6/24/17

When life gets you down, just remind your terrific selves:

Cassie’s face, though.

Me: *draws a male character*
Me: he looks like i girl i C AN T DRAW G UYS
My brain: thats!! Because!! You gave him!! Female body language!! And keys!!
Me: well how do i fix th-
My brain: S P R E A D T H E L E G S

  • Creek: Now, I know that I betrayed you all and left you for dead...buuut, I've changed!
  • Branch: Cry Me a River
  • Creek: but I nearly got eaten
  • Branch: What Goes Around Comes Around, buddy.
  • Creek: But-- wait. What are you wearing???
  • Branch: *Looks at the Mirrors*
  • Branch: a Suit and Tie. I'm bringing Sexy Back
10
Sara Lance Decks Man-Hell, ft. Sanvers and SuperCanary feels

She takes risks every day.

She throws herself in front of bullets – with or without the kevlar-lining in her suit – and she’s long since learned how to stitch her own body back together.

It’s a lesson one tends to learn on that island. On that boat. In the League.

She’s long since learned how to channel fear into a cocky strut and rage into spinning kicks and blood lust into herself.

She’s long since forgotten what safety feels like.

Because when your entire life is a risk – risk of death, risk of torture, risk of rapidly-building panic, constant drowning in self-loathing, that (you hope) no one but you can detect – when your entire life is a risk, you tend to forget what it feels like not to take one.

But then there’s Kara.

Supergirl.

She can’t quite remember, she can’t quite keep it straight in her head.

Well that’s a pun.

Can’t quite parse out how the girl with the glasses and awkward laugh and brilliant smile is also the bulletproof woman with the lowered voice and laser eyes and undefeatable stance.

Well, no.

No, that part, she can understand.

She can understand that part because when people look at Sara? When people look at Sara, they also see a helpless blonde with stars instead of the seven levels of hell in her eyes; until she starts to fight.

So she understands that part, actually: Kara and Supergirl. The contradictions, the agony of stitching them together, of keeping them apart.

Sara understands that because she lives it herself every day.

Except the flying. The flying part would be cool.

Maybe one day Kara will take her flying…

But no. No, she won’t, because she’s busy, now.

And not the kind of busy that they all are: busy saving lives, busy pretending they don’t need saving of their own, busy pretending their stitches will hold.

No.

No, now Kara is busy with some man who’s gotten in her head and won’t leave. Some man who tells her her loves her in the same breath that he that he tells her his mistakes are her fault.

Some man who’s worn her down and shattered the light in her eyes by replacing it with his own.

And that? That, Sara understands all too well, too.

But she wishes she didn’t.

“You approve of this guy for your sister?” she leans into Alex, elbows on the table, both their eyes fixed on Kara, laughing in the guy’s arms one second, scolding him harshly for something or other the next.

“Hell no.” Alex leans over quick as anything to grab Sara’s drink and chugs deeply, and Sara knows that type of swig, the desperation behind it. The need behind it. Knows it too well from her father, from her sister.

Her sister. Her stomach lurches.

She glances at Maggie, who nods grimly, confirming Sara’s fears about Alex, about alcohol, about need. Sara gently pries the glass out of Alex’s distracted fingers.

“Why don’t you stick to your club soda there, Danvers?” she suggests gently, and Maggie smiles gratefully, softly, sadly, at her.

Alex grunts and grumbles, but clearly she and Maggie have had this talk before, because she returns to her own, non-addictive, drink sullenly.

“No, I don’t approve of him. How could I? She’s screaming at him every day, do you know she told him explicitly not to tell anyone they’d slept together and he literally made a public announcement about it at her job not five minutes later?”

“And let’s not even go there with the guilt trips,” Maggie chimes, and Sara’s blood boils.

Because Sara’s life is one risk after another.

But visiting Earth 38 because Iris and Barry told her that Kara seems to be in trouble, that Kara seems to need an extra arsenal of help disentangling herself from this web he’s created around her?

It’s one of the scariest risks she’s taken.

Because she has to watch sisters who love each other. Has to watch one watch the other suffer with a smile, and she remembers that feeling, but god, at least Kara is alive for Alex to watch.

Laurel would’ve liked Kara. Laurel would’ve killed this guy. Laurel…

“You okay, Sara?” Alex interrupts her train of thought, and she shoots back the rest of her whiskey.

“You know it’s harder for Kara to listen to you and your girl because you’re her family, right? That happens sometimes.”

She thinks of Laurel. Of her father. Hell, of Ollie, Dig, Felicity. Snart.

She shudders slightly before rising steadily.

“Lucky for her, I’m not family.”

Alex and Maggie watch with excited trepidation as Sara stands, straightens her shoulders – even at full height she’ll come up to something like his chin, and Maggie grins because she knows that or his super strength won’t matter – and struts over to the pool table, where James is rubbing his forehead and Winn is trying his best to look anywhere but his best friend as she tells her off-again-he-insists-that-it’s-on-again boyfriend that, for the hundredth time, she hates when he touches her like that in public.

“You know what I love about this earth?” Sara cuts off Kara’s needed rant, and Kara whips around with a sliver of hope in her pained, furious eyes. “That it’s got men who will let a woman defend herself, but stick around in case she asks for backup, because you know what? She can. I know a few guys like that myself.”

She thinks of Mick and Snart and their first bar brawl together, the way that Leonard grinned at her when she asked him to hold her beer, the cocky confidence they’d had in her as they watched her fight off an entire bar’s worth of men more than twice her size.

She claps Winn and James on the shoulders and gives them both a soft, genuine smile before her eyes blaze again.

“But you know the thing I can’t understand? Why other guys just can’t seem to get the meaning of the word no.”

Kara licks her lips and starts to speak, but one look into Sara’s flashing eyes keeps her quiet. Because he won’t listen to her.

He won’t listen to her, and he won’t listen to Alex, and he won’t listen to Maggie.

He listened to Winn, but only for about a minute.

But maybe he’ll listen to a former member of the League of Assassins?

Kara dares to hope, and Sara dares to breathe, because it was lust at first sight with Supergirl, and it was I-wanna-get-to-know-you-because-god-I-could-probably-fall-in-love-with-the-light-in-your-darkness with Kara.

Her boyfriend straightens up and starts to speak, starts to rage, starts to twist words into weapons that will keep Kara his.

Sara winds up, rotates her hips, and decks him clean onto the ground before he gets the chance.

James oofs and Winn puts his hand over his mouth and Kara gapes and Sara stares down at him with fists on her hips and death in her voice.

“The lady told you she doesn’t like when you touch her like that in public. So you know what you’re gonna do, since you can’t seem to stop yourself? You’re gonna leave. Now. Because you think the DEO teaches you a lot of different ways to kill people? I can do it a lot slower than Alex Danvers can.”

“That… sounded dirty,” Winn mutters, and Sara tries her best not to smirk when  James backhands him lightly on the arm as Maggie – coming over to stand behind Kara with Alex – snorts.

Kara’s boyfriend – ex, soon, Sara’s hoping, they’re all hoping, hell, Kara’s hoping – tries to object again, but Alex, Maggie, James, and Winn all turn to him with crossed arms and stony expressions. Kara’s lips part and she takes a step toward Sara, like she wants to collapse into her arms and just might if she lets herself.

“I’ve said it before, and I’m saying it again for the last time – it’s over. We’re over. We never should have even started. Sara’s right, just… just leave.”

Sara’s pulse quickens in her neck at the way Kara’s tongue wraps around her name, but she keeps her hands – and her thoughts, and her wants – to herself as she watches, as they all watch, the prince of Daxam stomp his disbelieving way out of the bar.

Brian applauds from a side-table, and Alex, Maggie, and Kara all call out at the same time.

“No one asked you, Brian.”

“Hush, Brian.”

“Don’t you have your own life to be living, Brian?”

Sara puts a tentative arm out toward Kara, and Kara leans into the touch. Maggie nudges Alex and Alex’s eyes fly wide, and Sara imagines a potential shovel talk in her near future.

She gulps, clears her throat imperceptibly, and forces words out of her throat.

“You okay?”

Kara takes a long, long moment of leaning back into Sara and reaching out for Alex’s hand to answer. “No. But I’ve got my family. So I will be.”

Sara swallows quietly and Maggie catches her eye with a smile. She knows exactly what the detective is thinking.

See? You’re family, after all. I didn’t expect it either. But isn’t it amazing?

And yes. Yes, it is.