guys guys she said the thing

my friend angella dravid was doing a comedy gig, and as soon as she came out a guy shouted ‘can i give you my number?’ and all the crowd groaned cause it was so inappropriate but angella was like ‘yeah sure’. the guy started shouting out his number and she started entering it into her phone. the whole crowd was like woaaah. she got the whole number and then dialled it and it rang. everyone lost their shit. finally the guy answered and angella just said “hello? shut the fuck up” and it was the most incredible thing i’ve ever seen 

Things I like about SKAM (season 3)
  • straight dudes helping their gay friend hook up
  • muslim girl helping gay friend stand up against prejudice
  • same girl asking for 10% of the drugs even though she doesn’t use it cause is always good to have some
  • THE LOCKER™ metaphor
  • two queer guys bonding over hip hop
  • queer guy sending rap lyrics to lover talking about his love
  • Even walking slow motion in school yard by the sound of Radiohead’s Talk Show Host
  • Emma blocking Isak’s view of said walking with her cockblock head XD
  • SOFT™ boyfriends
  • Sonja’s phone call
  • realistic and sensitive portrayal of mental illness
  • character development
  • straight guy seriously offended when some one thought he was homophobic
  • eyefucking at the sound of Robyn while kissing other girls
  • my mom’s not crazy, she’s bipolar. yeah, but how is she? She’s fucking awesome
  • the whole joke is that you’d think it’s a romeo and juliet reference…
  • songs that are not there just as background but that helps tell the story
  • Isak’s pink cheeks in the rave party
  • super important and significant friendships
  • there is so much compassion in that moody little teenage body of yours
  • kollectivet
  • the boys squad™
  • sexting
About ships

Boy and Girl: *blush at each other*

People: it’s canon.

Two boys: *blush at each other, hug, think about each other all day, hold hands, stare at each other lovingly, dream about each other, share lots of intimate affectionate moments*

People: look at those bros! Such strong friendship!

People: *brush hands with friends of the same gender* no homo!

idea: villain with illusion powers tries to pull the whole “actually bruce wayne’s parents never died and that other life was all a dream ps as long as you’re here write down all your passwords and write a huge check to this guy your parents say is your friend” thing but is unsuccessful because it is basically impossible to impersonate bruce’s parents

“when did you figure it out?? >:[”

“i’ve known this was fake from the start, this woman looks nothing like my mother. red lipstick with nude polish?? that dress doesn’t suit her coloring. i said i was deliberately leading vicki on and she didn’t try to ground me, just because i’m a grown man. that’s not how my mother pronounces the word yeti. and this guy! he’s not tall enough to be my father. he hasn’t tried to pick me up even once. and neither of these people has had an uncomfortably flirtatious conversation with the butler in the last six hours. you fool. you imbecile. how could you possibly have thought that this would work.”

anonymous asked:



although weirdly enough out of all the people i can remember pete interacting with in the show, as far as i can tell, hes only taller than sonny and daniela,, which is weird to think about, he just seems really tall because he literally only stands by tiny tiny sonny

even so! he’s the perfect height,,

the perfect height difference for hugs and forehead kisses,, how lucky we all are

true or not, this is how my mind works


This all really started in 2014, with the beards. Epic/Syco really brought the hammer down, trying to get rid of the Camren rumors, especially in the press. It started with Lauren, when she looked like she’d rather ride the tail of a Comet to an Alternate Universe, than be in a girl group. She had two that year, Louie and Brad. They also decided to pair Camila up with Austin.

The girls hated it, but as long as the guys were there, they got to interact more freely. The problem was, they were both miserable and jealous. Camila realized the whole guy thing wasn’t for her, and broke that shit off real quick. When Sinu said Camila cried for two weeks after they split, I think she meant to say, Camila cried the whole two weeks she had to pretend to be with him. Anyway, Lauren ended things with Brad, and they both became “separately single”.

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at the Suck Less book signing in Chicago
  • some guy: *asks a question about whether or not the producers knew who the All Stars queens chose to eliminate before their lip syncs, which would therefore influence who was chosen to win said lip syncs*
  • Willam: What? I don't -- what's your question? Oooh, let's call someone who was there!
  • everyone: *gasps, surprised laughter, etc*
  • Willam: Hmm, who will answer their phone right now... You guys gotta be quiet though, so we can hear.
  • Willam: *dials, holds phone up to mic*
  • Willam: Heeey, you're on--
  • Katya: I AM A WOMAN
My Brother Can Beat Up Yours!

(Wordcount: 1.6K; HS AU. On ao3)

“Punch him!”

“This is really stupid,” Dean muttered, staring dubiously at the guy standing opposite him. “Man, I gotta apologize. I have no idea what’s got into him. He’s normally a good kid.“

“Likewise,” the other guy grumbled. “Anna is usually a sweetheart. I’ve never seen her raise a hand in anger.”

“Kill him, Cas!”

“Well, technically, she’s not raising a hand now,” Dean said with a roll of his eyes. “She just wants you to raise yours.“

When he’d come to the playground to pick Sam up after school this afternoon, as he’d done since getting his driver’s license earlier that year, the last thing Dean had expected was to be stepping into the middle of a showdown between his brother, Sam, and a pint-sized girl with a face nearly as red as her ponytail. Whatever argument they’d been having had apparently escalated beyond the point of no return, and although Sam had definitely been raised well enough to know that you don’t throw punches at classmates - particularly not tiny, female classmates - he’d obviously not outgrown the "my brother can beat up your brother” stage of development.

Dean was now facing down his “enemy,” a fellow teenager he’d never seen before, to the screams of a small horde of bloodthirsty ten-year-olds. He shrugged in embarrassment.

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I’m watching the end of season 2 and Vilde is talking a lot about justice and she said she googled the sentence length william could get for crushing that wine bottle in the yakuza guy’s head… I feel like she could do really well in law, she has a good personality to be a judge? like she talks about things like she thought about every single little detail… what do you guys think? (I kinda want to send it as an ask to a blog with someone who studies/works in law but I have no idea who here does haha)

So, let’s talk about something. In light of this song and the confirmation of the person Adam / Catpuke Hominygrits was , I think we should review Hiddleswift summer. You know at the beginning of a new relationship after such a man is in your life; you have that conversation with your new man. You get honest. Maybe not in details. At the very least, you say, my ex was not a good guy and let them know that you are waiting for the shoe to drop and this new guy to go off.

Think about the fact and the activity of the summer. Concerts, meeting families, Romantic Italian vacations, etc. Tom was trying to let her know the man he was.

And what was that statement someone said at their dinner with Holly Williams? He was very protective of her. He was always communicating with bodyguards and putting protective arms around her.

He did all of the things he did to show her that she was worth it. Every dinner. Every trip.

I don’t care if you find Tom Hiddleston attractive or not. He is a good guy.

If I ever hear the words PR stunt again in context with them, I will likely go sideways on somebody.

imagine Chuuya is on a mission in some sleazy bar or someplace similar and some pervert in a small group of older men calls out to him like “Hey sweetheart, does the carpet match the drapes?” 

and Chuuya turns his head to look at the group of men, his expression carefully neutral, and he asks the man “Would you like to find out, hon?”

and walks over to where the guy is sitting and then lifts his leg up and rests his foot on the guy’s shoulder and the guy thinks he’s about to get laid but then Chuuya just fucking kicks him in the side of the head and then puts his leg back down and walks away

and Kouyou hears about this later and she laughs because someone said the same thing to her once when Chuuya was younger and he watched her do the exact same thing, that’s where he learned it from

So here’s a radical thought.

“Nice” guys complain that women ignore them, despite their “niceness.” (“Nice” guys here having the meaning of guys who feel entitled to romantic involvement with female friends or acquaintances due to long association and deeds which can be put down to common decency.)

But said “nice” guys don’t exactly display GOOD behavior, which would be much more attractive. A “nice” guy will be decent and polite but still be angry when turned down due to a sense of personal entitlement. A GOOD guy will be decent and polite and respect the lady’s refusal because she’s a person with the ability to make her own decisions.

“Nice” guys, perhaps the thing you’re failing to grasp is that “nice” is different than GOOD.

My first kiss was actually onscreen. I was in a graduate-thesis film called She’s a Fox, and I had to kiss two guys in it. I think I was 12. I was very nervous. One of the guys was shorter than me, and he had to stand on an apple box… Awkward! He told me, “I’m going to pretend I’m kissing my mom!” I was pretty sure that’s not the thing you say before you kiss a girl, so I looked at him and said, “Okay, I’m going to pretend I’m kissing my dog!” // Hailee Steinfeld for W Magazine’sBest Performances Issue

anonymous asked:

I was ringing out this guy for pickup and my coworker went to get his food. She didn't look at the name and she gave him the wrong food. Immediately afterward, the guy who's food was just given away came in for pickup and it obviously wasn't there. It was a whole thing and resulted in two people being refunded. My coworker said to me "I don't know why I'm in trouble. You should've checked the names. I'm still training" when she had been there for a month and should know damn well to check names

First day working at kohls

-helped this older lady pick out two stockings for her kids and she was like “you know what there grown ass adults who don’t appreciate nothing I ain’t getting these.” And I proceeded to say “you go girl.” The lady told my manager I was amazing at my job.

-as I was walking to put away my reacher tool cause I’m very short I said hello to a guy and asked him if he needed help finding anything and he said “what is that your torture device when some ones bad” (referring to my reach thing) and I responded with “no I’m just short” and the guy laughed and walked away.

-I was trying to find a place to put this Pokemon hat and this woman walks up to me ad goes “do you work here” I replied yes. And then she asked where she could find naughty clothes. A little confused I think for a bit but then I realize she wants sexy time clothes so I’m like “over there is the under garments.” I say quickly she gives me a half smile and walks away. I was a bit uncomfortable.

-I was sitting in the break room and there was two other girls in there I asked them how long they worked here and one said two years and the other said two weeks. One of them doesn’t care and the other hates it here. I just hope the two weeks lady doesn’t curse like she did in front of management.

(I’ll keep you updated as I work more shifts)

the signs as things my theater professor has actually said in class
  • Aries: "If you're not okay with a professor who yells 'FUCK FUCK FUCK' then you better drop my fucking class"
  • Taurus: "Cocaine's a hell of a drug"
  • Gemini: "And that's when I realized I had the chance to fuck Natalie Portman, a beautiful, delicate wood nymph; even though she thought I was some dude named Bill"
  • Cancer: "This guy's dick wasn't necessarily long, but it was bigger around than a soda can. I imagined it would make a pop sound when it was removed from an orifice"
  • Leo: "Hoes be choosin'"
  • Virgo: "I could make some fucking great meth, guys. I know some people"
  • Libra: "What kind of guy says to himself, 'I should buy my girlfriend a massive paper clip'?"
  • Scorpio: "You're a misogynistic asshat. Get out of my class"
  • Sagittarius: "Please allow me to make a butt of myself"
  • Capricorn: "And when they pulled off his pants, there it was: the tiniest, most erect micro phallus I have ever encountered"
  • Aquarius: "Jesus had a pimp cup! He was partying with hoes!"
  • Pisces: "I never tried alcohol until I was 32. I had never been drunk, didn't know what it tasted like, nothing. But I did try cocaine when I was 13"
Story time

Once upon a time there was a girl who was best friends with this guy on Tumblr and had finally met him in person and realized he liked her. He insisted on taking her out on a lunch date and she was hesitant at first but said okay. She didn’t see him anymore but a friend but he wanted more. One weekend the guy came and got the girl to spend the day with him but turned into staying with him all night. They had sex, shameless, passionate, crazy sex. She started thinking that she would give it a try with him and after a couple days they decided to become girlfriend and boyfriend.
They had a happy and loving relationship for an entire month. He claimed that he was in love with her and she said the same thing back, meaning it. One day, the guy decided he didn’t want her anymore. She was too much for him and she was too clingy and overbearing and bossy. So he ignored her. For an entire week.
He took down her @ in his Twitter bio, their Facebook relationship status, pictures, etc one by one slowly so she wouldn’t notice right away. She had no idea he didn’t want her anymore. She had no idea what was going on.
She finally noticed and she finally called him. No answer. She texted him to be a fucking man and break up with her properly but he said he wasn’t dumping her.
The next day she tweeted that she was dumped and he texted her saying that he wasn’t dumping her.
That night he called and broke things off. He left her broken.
Fast forward a couple months, school is starting back up for her and she’s excited to get back to campus to see her friends. It’s Saturday, move in day. She had a call from her mom but she didn’t answer due to the craziness of the day. She texted her mom on Sunday because she saw that her mom left a message. No reply.
Monday rolls around and she’s excited for the first day of school. This year will be absolutely perfect.
She was wrong.
It was lunch time. She got a call from her father, his voice was shaky and unreadable.
She was worried and went outside to get some quiet. Her father said that it was her mom. Mom had passed away.
The girl screamed into the phone that that was impossible. That she couldn’t be. She left town to go back home.
Fast forward a couple days, the guy messaged her on twitter. He said he was sorry for what he did in the summer, he said he was sorry about her mom. She was vulnerable and let him back into her life.
She trusted him and loved him with every fiber of her being.
She came back into town and spent the night with him. She got drunk and had sex and cried and cried and cried. He held her and told her that everything would be alright.
Fast forward two weeks. The girl had spent all Labor Day weekend with the guy. She paid for everything, gas and food. They made love too many times to count. She still wasn’t alright, her mother did die after all.
She got into an argument with the guy. The guy had been shooting up painkillers. She didn’t want him to do it around her and told him to quit. He did it anyway. She got mad and started yelling at him. Her mother died after all, why wouldn’t he respect himself more? She’s trying to keep the people in her life alive, not fucked up.
They argued and argued. They had sex. The next morning the air was different and something was off. He took her home.
Two days later he texted her that he didn’t want to be with her. He left her broken. Again.
She couldn’t believe how used she felt, how stupid she was to think he would change.
A month later he’s asking for her to come back. To forgive him. He tells her he’s sorry. He wants to become her husband one day and he is quitting the drugs and he wants forgiveness.
She doesn’t want anything to do with him. He’s toxic. Poison.
Over the course of three months he texts her to tell her how much he’s sorry or how much he wants them to work. He keeps trying but she won’t believe him.
She will never believe him.
She will never trust him.
She will love him but with due time, she will never ever fucking love him.

WTF just happened

I work at a tea shop which is usually pretty quiet weekdays but can be busy round lunchtime.

On one such day we only had one old couple in who ordered jacket potatoes each, one being a plain potato with no salad or anything with it (just felt like adding that because I found it weird). I was in the kitchen that day but my colleague was on the counter and took their order. When she came upstairs she mentioned how strange they were and I thought ‘okayy… I gotta see this’ but unfortunately I never ended up going downstairs until some time later.

First of all my colleague said they complained how they’d gotten too much food which is crazy because for that price it’s a bargain, but things were about to get weirder……

I was editing products on the till when the couple started leaving, my colleague said the usual “thanks guys, have a nice day!” as the guy got to the door he stopped, turned round, and started walking back to the counter with a furious look on his face.
Angrily he asked
“what did you say?!”
My colleague looked shocked as did I then replied
“have a nice day?”
To which he said and the conversation continued
“No the other thing”
“Thanks guys?”
“I don’t if you’ve noticed but I’m with a WOMAN”
“I’m sorry it’s just a saying…”
“Not in my world it isn’t”
“I’m sorry….”

Then he turned round to leave but stopped at a table to which we hoped he’d just leave which luckily he did.
I told my colleague after we had laugh at how fucking weird he was to completely ignore him as she’d done nothing wrong. I wish I’d said something at the time to him but I just couldn’t believe it was actually happening. It was like I was reading something for the this blog…..
Luckily he hasn’t come back as of yet…..