guys guys look at my book

  • Male Writer: Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don't remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original
  • Male Writer: Mother in laws amirite?
  • Male Writer: My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.
  • Male Writer: Ugh female books are so romance filled
  • Male Writer: And girl fanfics, so mary suey
  • Male Writer: Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.
  • Male Writer: She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification
  • Male Writer: If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don't respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?
  • Male Writer: a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times
  • Male Writer: If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me
  • Specifically White Male Writer: Heroic tropes are so overdone. I'm going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.
  • Same Guy: It's original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.
  • Another Specifically White Male Writer: It's in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don't you care about historical accuracy
  • Same Guy: I mean, it's a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven't done any research, but i'm SURE that it's historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period
  • Same Guy: Where in Europe? Who cares!
  • Male Writer: There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.
  • Male Writer: Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!
  • Male Writer: One female character and five male characters is a good team balance
  • Male Writer: If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it's not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.
  • Male Writer: I am original

We dangerous ones

Aaah, the Lethifold! One of my favourite creatures from reading the book as a child. Thanks to @zinfandelli for suggesting it as a creature, I was psyched to draw Credence with one. 
(And of course I saw the official design on the bluray just as I was about to start colouring, and had to change up a bunch of stuff from my sketch haha)
Art blog: questionartbox

All right I got like five requests to tell the story of the Shakespeare Mansplainer, so: 

Today I went to the bookstore to buy the Arden edition of ’Tis Pity She’s a Whore because I need it for one of my term papers. But I looked at my punchcard and realized buying it would get me a free book, and because I’m standing right there in the drama section I start browsing around. Enter the Mansplainer. Now, I can only assume that this guy saw me flip through a few books and put them back and decided I didn’t know what I was doing. Mansplainer to the rescue. Up he swaggers. Now, this guy is average-looking but so am I, so at first when he says, “Oh, are you looking for some Shakespeare?” I’m willing to entertain the possibility that he might be worth flirting with or at least talking to, but he literally doesn’t give me enough time to even answer the question before he says, “You know–” And this is like, the most fatal phrase in a dude’s vocabulary, because as soon as he says it odds are 90 to one he’s about to start telling you what he thinks you don’t know. So I shut my mouth. I shut my mouth and I stand there and smile and nod like I’m in utter awe of all his manly wisdom while he proceeds to tell me every wrong “fact” he learned about Shakespeare in secondary school. For those of you who don’t know me, here’s what makes this hilarious: I’m getting a master’s degree in Shakespeare. I’ve been a Shakespearean actor for ten years. I’ve written a fucking book about Shakespeare. I know more about Shakespeare than this guy knows about breathing.

Anyway, for two, maybe three minutes I let him go on about how the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet is actually a sonnet and they were both like thirteen because that’s how young people got married in England in the 1700s and so on and so on. (All of this is wrong, by the way.) Towards the end he starts to flounder, because he was clearly expecting me to jump in and start cooing like a fucking pigeon about how romantic it all is or whatever the Great Mansplainer expects a woman to do when he dazzles her with his dizzying intellect. He finally finishes with a showstopping, “So, yeah.” And this is my cue. So I say, “Actually,” and then proceed to correct literally everything he said while I beam at him like the fucking sun because I want to watch his ego shrivel up like a fucking raisin. And it does. By the time I’m done (which only takes half the time because if women take up more than 25% of a conversation men think they’re dominating it and I’m 100% certain his little Mansplainbrain would just explode under the stress) he’s physically taken two steps away from me and is looking toward the door like he’s grappling with some intense fight-or-flight instinct. So I stop and smile again and because I just can’t resist I wave my staff pass and say, “Sorry, I need to go now, I have to be at the Globe in twenty minutes.”

And that is the story of the time a guy tried to mansplain Shakespeare to me and I will cherish the look on his face until the day I die.

on the new Iron Fist series

So after binge watching a ton of Marvel’s new Iron Fist series, I went onto tumblr, wondering what the fandom was up to now, what with all these new gifs and stuff to make. ‘Maybe I would find some fan art or something’ I thought innocently to myself,

BUT BOY WAS I WRONG

instead, I was greeted with SO MUCH DISCOURSE on how Iron Fist ‘needs a chinese-american actor’ or ‘has terrible dialogue and is slow’.

the best part is when I found out that some of y’all are trying to get this show boycotted like ‘????’

Now as a Chinese-speaking Asian female, living in Asia, with an Asian background and a good know-how of Chinese history, as well as a decent knowledge of comic books, (although I confess I got into the animated series first) I’m here to end the discussion before y’all get your full rage on and start fighting fans of the show like it’s Lord of the Flies up in here

So keep reading if you want to be educated or if you just want to fight me before you know what you’re even talking about

“THE SHOW INSULTS CHINESE CULTURE”

Uhhhh…no? I’ve seen a few episodes and I mean so far there isn’t really anything that screams ‘insult’ or even offensive in the slightest. Besides maybe the fact that they take the beliefs and twist them a little bit but honestly even that ain’t that bad as to what I’ve seen elsewhere.

I’ve read the boycott post and let me say that yea, they dressed him with an eye for Asian elements, but maybe that’s because it’s supposed to be resembling Asian clothing? I mean how is that offensive? Is it the part that it looks Asian? Or that you simply feel that white people that direct these shows should not be using Asian stuff for entertainment? Because I hate to break it to you but it’s still not offensive. Even the dragon tattoo is totally fine because it’s supposed to resemble Asian elements yea but also have y’all read the comics? Because he punched through a dragon and basically took it’s heart. So I mean a dragon tattoo kinda matches the theme.

I mean in the first episode they speak almost flawless Chinese for Pete’s sake! Hell, I was surprised that they even had it in them to have a non-Google translated line. Sure the accent was a little overdoing it cuz not even I have that thick a Chinese accent but I’ll excuse it since he was apparently learning and speaking 15 years. (I speak it maybe a few times a day for like the last 14 years or so only)

So no, the show doesn’t really insult Chinese culture, sure they might be ignorant, but you must understand that after generations of stereotypes and misconceptions that that can’t just go away with one show

“Danny Rand should be played by an Asian guy/be a Chinese-American”

I can’t even begin to tell you my frustration about this.

Y’all do know this show is based on the comics right?

You know, the one with the white guy.

I know Marvel is infamous for not including enough representation in their shows but seriously? This is like the Harry Potter thing all over again with Hermione being black, it’s not that we don’t want representation or anything, but it’s the fact that this hero that us comic fans have come to already love has been replaced. Or at least it feels like it. Like when a movie is made from a book and people go crazy because character XYZ suddenly has different traits or isn’t quite what was described as compared to the book.

Frankly, it sucks.

So even though yes, Marvel should have more Asians in their shows, don’t expect them to completely give the main character a makeover, even if the makeover was supposed to provide representation. And honestly? I don’t want them to change him because I really freaking love Iron Fist, just as he is.

“This show just villainizes Asians”

So you tell me that my race is being made villains because Marvel decided that most of their Asians on their shows are evil ninjas (aka the Hand) and at most there are like 3 sorta good Asians. Oh and I’m sorry, you want more Asian men that are good guys? You want a balance of Asian heroes?

Well I guess that would be kind of hard to fit into the story since, oh, I don’t know, everything happens in the USA?

If you want more Asian characters well then look no further because you do have them. Daisy Johnson from Agents of Shield? What about her extremely brave mom? Or maybe Colleen in Iron Fist? Everyone seems to be blatantly ignoring her badassery and only seeing the part where she’s a sorta love interest.

Facts are, there are Asian characters, you’re really just looking hard enough. I agree wholeheartedly when you say that more Asian men need to be in the Marvel universe that aren’t part of the bad guy team but you gotta say that they are still awesome.

Does anyone even remember the Japanese ninja yakuza guy from Daredevil? Dude got set on fire and STILL came back to kick ass. That’s a plus in my book because even though he’s considered bad, he’s been proven to be cunning, smart, and overall awesome.

“The show has terrible stunts/acting/dialogue/fight scenes”

From here on out it’s mostly just me trying to explain why the directors and writers of the show made decisions in the show to make it what it is, so let’s dive right into it.

  • STUNTS

Actually the stunts weren’t half-bad. If you’ve seen other shows or movies that are heavily reliant on stunts and action, and compare it to this show, they really aren’t that much different. Sure it might seem a little unbelievable sometimes like they’re breaking physics or something, but he already has a glowing fist. I think we’ve crossed the line of believable long ago.

  • ACTING

I have nothing to say about this except that go and take some acting or drama classes before coming and criticizing these awesome men and women who did indeed try their best

  • DIALOGUE

Now I get the dialogue might be a little weird at times and what not, but you must understand that this show was partially written with the Defenders series in mind. So almost everything that was said in the show is meant to lead to something more. Thus, you must take it as a bigger picture. Sorta like how everyone said that Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them wasn’t as good as they thought it would be, that movie was also meant to lead on to a bigger story so you might want to excuse the weird speech and cryptic lines at times.

  • FIGHT SCENES & ACTION

Okay seriously people, please read the comics. Danny Rand is supposed to be an accidental hero, one that doesn’t want to fight unless he really has zero choice in the matter. So yea, the fight scenes won’t be that interesting, but only because the character in question is more interested in ending the fight than anything.

~

So there you have it, my whole slightly angry info-dump on Iron Fist and Marvel’s representation problem in general. If you want to correct me or scold me even then by all means message me or shoot me an ask. But just keep in mind that Marvel can’t make all your problems go away in one show, and please for the love of all that is good read the comics before coming to rant okay?

BTS as things my friends have said in History class...
  • Seokjin: Why is no one in this textbook good-looking?
  • Yoongi: It was 1932... No, 1935. Wait! 1939! That's right - I know my dates.
  • Hoseok: Okay but imagine how fabulous I would have been in that century!
  • Namjoon: *asks for another two pieces of paper* How have you guys only used one side of A4?
  • Taehyung: *deep in thought* I need to think of something epic I can do so that they put me in one of these textbooks
  • Jimin: ... It's times like this when I lose faith in humanity
  • Jungkook: *points at a picture of a random guy in the book* That's you! *starts laughing his head off*
  • Otome guy 1: I was betrayed by a woman in the past. Trust is an illusion meant to be broken. I can never love again.
  • Otome guy 2: Love? I am familiar with the concept, but I am aware that even my most trusted reference books are no substitute for actual experience.
  • Otome guy 3: People keep telling me to tone down my flirting habit, but... look, the incident with the mannequin was just that ONE TIME
  • Otome guy 4: Meh. I don't care about romance. I'm just gonna go take my third nap today...
  • Otome guy 5: I'm busy living my life on my own terms. I don't have time to waste on foolish ideas like love.
  • MC: *walks into the room and breathes*
  • Otome guys: O-oh. *clutches chest* What is this mysterious feeling...??

percyyoulittleshit  asked:

I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ Or ‘Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ For Percabeth

“Coffee guy has a crush on you,” Piper says without preamble, flicking a page in her reading.

“Uh huh,” Annabeth mutters, dragging a highlighter over a line in her book. It’s only after she’s finished an irritated scribble in the margin that the words really penetrate. She glances up at her friend, who is leaning across the table looking amused. “What? No. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m always ridiculous. And always right. He keeps refilling your coffee.”

Annabeth, who has been lost in a haze of architecture for longer than the hour Piper has been sitting in the cafe with her, has not really been aware of her drink being refilled. She’s reached for her mug when she wanted a drink, and the mug has always had coffee in it. The logical inconsistency between the amount of times she’d reached for the cup and the cup never being empty had not really jumped out at her until now.

“If he’s refilling my coffee and not yours, that just makes him rude.”

“Oh, no. He’s been refilling mine. When you started swearing at your book before, it nearly overflowed, and it wasn’t because he was scandalised.”

Annabeth sighs, refusing to glance over her shoulder at the coffee guy in question. It’s not like she doesn’t already know what he looks like, the guy is six foot tall with a build like an Olympian swimmer and a jawline that could cut glass. She manages to drag her brain to a halt before it starts listing things to compare his eye colour to: Piper is smirking at her reading in a way that suggests she’s learnt how to read minds.

“He was probably impressed with my command of the english language.”

“He was impressed with something, all right.” Piper shuts her folder with a snap. “Right, i’m done here.”

“That reading was fifty-one pages, you’re so full of shit.”

“The fact that you know how long my readings are is terrifying, you know that?”

“Do your homework!”

“Can’t hear you, running away to get a restraining order!” She’s halfway to the door by the time she sing-songs that, leaving Annabeth with her nearly empty coffee mug and a cafe full of people giving her the stink eye.

“If you need an alibi, I can testify that you’ve been here pretty much all day.”

Coffee guy has a nice voice. Warm, smooth, just this side of deep without sounding like the trailer guy. It takes Annabeth an embarrassing amount of time to register that she’s thinking this because he’s standing right next to her, holding a coffee pot. It’s a good thing her self control is world renowned, because she uses all of it to keep from jumping out of her skin.

“What? I - no, she’s joking. We’re friends. Really.”

His grin is distractingly crooked. “I’m convinced.”

“I’m gonna kill her,” Annabeth mutters, hoping against hope that she’s not blushing, or something equally ridiculous.

“That’s probably not going to help in court.”

Her brain is - slowly - retreating out of coffee-and-study survival mode. A joke, she realises belatedly, and the rueful laugh escapes her before she can think to bite it back. And - something in coffee guy’s shoulders relaxes, just a little bit. Nervous, she thinks, and finds herself predisposed to like him. Smart boys know to think very carefully before approaching Annabeth Chase, and that’s the way she likes it.

She tucks an errant curl behind her ear. “I’ll plea insanity. Over-caffeination.” She glances down at her cup. “Actually, would you mind–?”

His face scrunches up with something like concern. “That’ll be your sixth cup.”

“Aren’t you the guy who’s been topping me up?”

“Grover seemed to think you might, I dunno, eat us or something if you ran out. I was protecting the good people of the cafe, but apparently cutting you off means stopping a murder.”

A groan escapes her, something like shame crawling up the back of her throat. Annabeth knows she’s got a serious case of resting bitch face (and she’ll fight anyone who suggests that’s a problem),but she doesn’t want the entire campus to be terrified of her.

Just wary.

“I’m not…actually some hyper-violent lady with a hair-trigger, honestly.”

“Oh hey no, I didn’t mean to–” And he’s groaning? He rubs the back of his neck, which is slowly turning red, and Annabeth starts to feel less off-kilter. “I’m bad at flirting.”

She’s definitely going to murder Piper. This is her fault somehow, Annabeth’s sure.

“Same,” she rushes out, before over-thinking can make this even messier. Her whole body feels energised, jittery, and she doesn’t think it’s the coffee. “Um. Just one more refill? To get me through the last bit of this chapter?”

“Wh - uh, right. Sure!” He squints at her. “You don’t mind?”

Annabeth rocks her mug from side to side, watching the dregs of her drink slosh from side to side. Black, no sugar. It seems like the safer option right now.

She takes a breath.

“Haven’t decided yet,” she says. “I’ll let you know when i’m done with this chapter.”

She’s not looking at him directly, but his grin is wide enough to be seen from space, let alone the corner of her eye.

“You got it,” he says happily, topping her mug off. He’s on the verge of pulling away when he pauses, like he’s remembered something. “It’s Percy, by the way. So you don’t have to keep calling me coffee guy.”

And then he’s gone, leaving Annabeth to seriously reconsider committing that murder.

Damen said, ‘Wear it for me.’

For a moment he thought Laurent wasn’t going to do it. But in public, Laurent had no recourse to refusal. 

Laurent extended his hand. And then waited, palm outstretched, his eyes lifting to meet Damen’s.

Laurent said, ‘Put it on me.’

Listen, this scene destroyed me. I had to sit down on the floor in an aisle of priceline because I was so overwhelmed. I was on fire, and I bet you Jord was also on fire, albeit for different reasons. 

Part two of the continuing saga chronicling my descent into Captive Prince hell. 

ok so as i said regarding this excerpt from the winter soldier novel, i have realized that Official Movie Novelizer is my true calling and would like to apply for that position immediately. to prove i am prepared for this responsibility, i have used the passage in question as a jumping off point and written the rest of the scene. as u know, the official novelization goes like this:

Then Steve decided to open up as well. “I grew up with a guy. We grew up together.”

Sam knew by the tone in Steve’s voice it was someone who had served with him. “He make it back?” Sam asked.

Steve sighed and looked to the floor, pain in his eyes. “Killed in action.” There was a silence between them for a few seconds before Steve continued, “I’ve been through a lot of changes. I don’t know if anything hit me as hard as losing Bucky.”

“We fight for our guys, ya know?” Sam said.

now i have not actually read this book but i am reasonably sure that the next few paragraphs should go like this:

“I do know,” said Steve, looking deep into Sam’s eyes. “Nothing’s ever been more important to me than my guys.”

“Right?” Sam was getting a certain vibe from Steve but he didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. Maybe this was just the way guys acted back in 1943. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained. “Like if I had a guy right now, I would definitely treat him right.”

Steve looked in both directions like he was making sure they were alone and stepped closer to Sam. “This is amazing. No one I’ve met since I woke up understands me the way you do.”

Sam was sad to think of Steve alienated and suffering. “Oh, hey man…I’m here for you.”

Steve’s face lit up. “Really? Do you wanna leave your fulfilling and socially useful job to risk your life defying the American government at my side?”

Sam wanted to explain to this hot sweet hunk of dumbass that you can’t be so open and trusting with someone you basically met five minutes ago. On the other hand, Steve had assessed him correctly. Sam knew himself to be intrepid and loyal, a brilliant fighter with a built-in skepticism about the American government’s commitment to civil liberties. Plus, Steve looked so excited and happy Sam didn’t have the heart to say no. There was just one potential problem.

“Steve, what if your guy turns up alive with a bunch of assault rifles and starts shooting everybody?”

Steve bit his lip, clearly giving the matter some thought. Then he put his hand on Sam’s arm. “That wouldn’t be a problem for us, Sam. Of course I’d still love him…but I have so much love to give.”

Sam felt ambivalent about the possibility of having to share Steve with a brainwashed cyborg assassin, but after all it was only a hypothetical. “Okay,” he said at last.

“So you’ll do it?” Steve dropped to one knee, overcome with joy. “Really, Sam?”

“Yes, Steve,” Sam said, taking Steve’s hand. “I’ll marry you.”

marvel pls contact me for an interview at your earliest convenience

blind dates are lame- h.s imagine

Originally posted by thedailystyles

“When was the last time you went on a proper date?” Jeff asked Harry. The two of them were sitting across the room from another tossing a hacky sack to each other.

Harry caught the sack and stopped to think for a little bit, “Mmm. I think the last time was back in December.” He threw the sack back over to Jeff.

Jeff sat up on the couch with wide eyes. “Mate! That’s over six months!” Harry laughed while getting up and heading over to the kitchen, “It’s not that big of a deal, really. I’ve just haven’t been interested.

Jeff followed his friend and sat on the counter. “Well now’s the perfect time to start dating. You’ve finished your album. You don’t start tour for a couple of months. You can give your right hand a bit of a break.”

“My right han-..” Harry glanced down. “Oh. Yeah. My right hand.”

Jeff laughed and hopped off the counter and grabbed the water bottle Harry had in his hand. “Listen, I know the perfect girl. Met her down at the bookstore. Her name’s Y/N. Really down to earth kind of girl. Reckon you guys will get along great.”

Harry looked at Jeff with a worried look on his face. “I didn’t know you knew how to read.”

Jeff glared at Harry while Harry laughed softly, “Mate, I’m just not interested in dating right now. Wanna focus on the album. Wanna focus on the tour.”

“Yeah but one date wouldn’t hurt would it? I’ll visit her tomorrow. Tell her you’re interested.”

Harry scratched the back of his neck while leaning against the kitchen island. “I don’t know. Blind dates are kind of..lame aren’t they?”

“Yeah but you’re lame yourself so why not?”

“Oi!”


The bell ringing against the door caused you to look up from the book you were reading behind the cash register. “Hey Jeff! Need to pick up some more journals?” You smiled at your new friend. While Jeff was in town, Harry texted him and asked if he could bring more empty journals. Harry claims he was in the “writing mood.” With a huff of annoyance, Jeff eventually agreed and found a family owned bookstore not to far from where he was. He went in and met Y/N who was honestly a breath of fresh air. She was sweet and charming. She was everything Harry needed in a girl.

“Hey Y/N! No, I’m fine. I came in to talk to you actually.” Jeff connected his hands together and placed them on the counter, as if he was in some kind of business deal.

Y/N dog eared the page she was reading and squinted her eyes slightly at Jeff. “What do you want?”

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N” Jeff sighed. Y/N laughed and crossed her arms and looked at the tall man in front of her.

Jeff gave her a smile and opened his mouth and then closed it. Y/N raised her eyebrow at him. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N”…

“Get on with it!” Y/N chuckled.

Jeff chuckled himself, “Alright! Alright. How would you feel about going on a date with this guy I know? Really nice. Sweet. Easy on the eyes…”

Y/N placed her hand on her chin and pretended to ponder about the idea of being set up. “Pass.”

Jeff clapped his hands together, “Great! He can pick you up at your place or you guys could meet- Wait. Pass? Why not!”

Y/N walked out from behind the counter and picked up a pile of books that needed to be put away. “I don’t know. The idea of a blind date seems kind of lame.” Jeff quickly followed her and grabbed the books from her arms. “Why does everyone think it’s so lame! You’re lame!” Y/N gave Jeff a look as she put a book onto the shelf. Jeff gave her a sheepish smile, “Sorry that was crude of me. What I mean to say is it’s not lame! I find it rather cute. And what if you guys end up getting married. You can say ‘My dearest friend, the noblest man I know, the most handsome guy that walked on this Earth; set me and your father up’ to your children.” Jeff was shaking his head while staring into the distance, thinking about how much of a hero he’ll look to everyone for setting up the perfect couple.

Y/N snapped her fingers in front of Jeff’s face, “Jeff!”

Jeff quickly came back to Earth and looked at Y/N, “So what do you say?”

Y/N sighed while grabbing the books he was holding back into her arms. “I-..”

“Great! I’ll text you the details!” Jeff shouted while running out of the store before you could object.


Y/N was sitting at the bar of the hotel lobby Jeff texted you to meet Harry at. Being put on a blind date by someone you just met and didn’t even know the last name of required a little alcohol help.

“Gin and tonic, please” a voice called out to the bartender. The stranger sighed and ran his hair through his hair.

You chuckled softly while staring at your wine glass. “Rough night?”

The stranger and looked down at the rings on his hands, “I uh. I don’t know yet. Maybe.”

And on que the both of you looked at each other properly. Harry gasped. You were surely the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Your eyes were instantly wide. Harry Styles was the beautiful man you were going on a date with. Surely he was just in the neighborhood. 

Suddenly Harry felt like he needed to explain his every move to you. “I uh..I’m just waiting for my blind date to arrive but I’m a bit nervous.”

Y/N chuckled at Harry’s words. “Are you Harry?” You quickly scolded yourself in your head and blushed. Of course he was. 

Harry laughed at your mental face palm look on your face and nodded. “Are you, Y/N?”

You gave Harry a small smile and nodded, “I am.”

Harry quickly gave himself a high-five in his head for getting to spend the privilege of getting to be on a date with someone as beautiful as you.

The bartender came over and placed Harry’s drink in front of him. Harry gave him a quick thank you and proceeded to look at you. He smiled and placed his hand out towards the restaurant on the other side of the hotel. “Should we get this blind date started?”

You chuckled and nodded your head. “We shall.” You picked up your things and stood up.

Harry gestured you to go first, “After you.”

As you started to walk away, Harry quickly took his drink and gulped it down. He hissed at the burning alcohol and jogged after you.


You threw your head back in laughter and held your stomach while Harry was laughing pretty loudly himself. “How did you not notice you had a brown stair on your white pants!” You managed to get out in between laughs.

Harry held his hands out in defense, “I thought everyone was staring because they wanted to talk to me! And! I thought they were thinking ‘Wow. How stylish of him to wear those white pants!’”

Y/N finally settled down and wiped a tear from her eyes from laughing so much, “Well it’s good to know my date has such high confidence in himself.”

Harry looked down at his empty plate and chuckled softly, “It is.”

You gave him a smile to which he returned. Suddenly your waiter walked up to you guys, interrupting you guys from admiring one another. “Was there anything else I can do for you guys?”

Harry quickly gave him his credit card. “Go ahead and charge it.” You quickly tried to grab your wallet from your purse, “Here let me.”

Harry shook his head at you. “It’s fine, Y/N.” He then gave a nod to the waiter.

“Harry, you didn’t even look at the bill. Let me at least help.” You said while taking out your credit card. Harry reached over and grabbed your hand, “I got it, love.” Your heart melted at the pet name and both yours and Harry’s hands tinged from one another.

Not wanting the date to end, you and Harry decided to walk to your apartment that was about two blocks away. The whole time getting to know each other more and telling each other incredibly funny stories. Finally the two of you ended up at the front of your door. You turned and looked at Harry who was already smiling down at you. “I had a great time, Harry.”

Harry nodded his head, “I did too.” The two of you started leaning in when Harry was the one that finally brought his lips to yours. You smiled into the kiss and wrapped your arms around your neck. When the both of you pulled away, Harry rested his forehead against yours. “I usually don’t have the first kiss until the third date..” You whispered. Harry smiled, “Guess we’ll have to have another date then. You smiled and nodded, this time you were the one to kiss him first.

With one last kiss and the promise of another date, Harry left and you walked into your apartment. Both of you had the same smile and the same thought in your head, “Have to thank Jeff for that.”

Maybe blind dates weren’t that lame after all.



thank you guys so much for reading! let me know what you guys think! requests are always welcomed!

*that beaut of a gif is sadly not mine!

2

BOOKS I READ IN 2016: Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee

What makes you think I want to keep doing that? I want to be my own person, be liked for who I am, not just for copying you!

2

To our beloved ELF ♥

Salute! it’s Sergeant Lee Hyukjae. Heoheohoe I said Sergeant… I’m a Sergeant. Can everyone believe that? The time when I was cutely wearing onto the private first class badge it seemed like it was yesterday but I’ve now filled all the levels of army service ribbon and when I pose with it, its not a joke. I’ve even have a squad  leader badge on my shoulders because I was the squad commander!!! Heoheo anyway is everyone  doing well? It’s been a looooong time since I wrote a letter. Did you guys wait for a long time? The day has cleared up and the weather has become better so would you even have thought of me while you run around playing outside all the time? I know very well that everyone is going around playing because you are excited. Well it’s okay. I can understand. While you can still play, play to your hearts content now, When the Summer comes, everyone has to regain your senses and work faithfully for you regular job. I’m also slowly preparing to meet our ELF now. I’ve been washing well so I won’t look like someone in my 30s, taking care of my skin and exercising hard so I will have the stamina to run around all night during Sushow and I’ve  also been reading lots of book so that I can become smarter and make high level jokes when we meet guys… I’ll be preparing this and that. The most important thing is the preparation for out comeback album!!! In order not to disappoint our ELF who has waited for a long time, I’ve been worrying again and again so I will gift you guys good music and performance as a present!! No but even if it is not so. I’ve actually really had a lot of worried. What kind of posture and image should we prepare to come out with over what ELF wants, we want and the general public wants… in the end, after worrying an d worrying, I’ve started to feel uneasy and several thoughts became complicated but the conclusion in my heart even just for a little but!!… I will tell you guys next time. I really miss our ELF. Because you guys have worn the the rubber shoes for such a long time, your feet should smell of rubber… but now you guys have to wear the rubber shoes again for Kyuhyunnie…. sigh you guys have had  a hard time. but well what can we do? We have many people.. I will register you guys as rubber cultural assets. Hang on just for a little bit more!! Hang on!! Just in a while more, D&E and D&E Company CEO will be coming back so I hope you will spend everyday enjoyably. Because it’s Summer, don’t eat much cold stuff and be careful not to get food poisoning and a cold. Because you guys are old now, you guys can’t just eat everything like before. Just don’t be sick please!! Also, because it is getting warm, you can take this chance and shave your head bald. I love you our ELF ♥

2017.05.20 Sergeant Lee Hyukjae ©

<previous letters>

4

OH MY GOD THEY’RE HERE! BIG shoutout to @whalehuntingboyfriends for letting me print her masterpiece! It came out lovely, though the back was cut off a bit :( also, thanks to @icanfeeltheearthturn for the cover art. IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS YOU GUYS.

edit: I got these babies made on a website called The Book Patch for about 30 dollars, since i know some people were asking! Had to change the size in Microsoft word to fit a 6x9 but otherwise it was super easy!
The Handmaid’s Tale: marketing, then and now

Comparing the Hulu adaptation of The Handmaid’s Tale to the 1990 version is… weird, because the old one seems to have been made with a “haha, this could never happen; let’s play it like a fun adventure thriller and sell it as sexy as possible!” kind of attitude. I mean, the trailer has this bouncy narration that starts with “once upon a time…” and turns the dystopian element into more of a soap opera.

And just take a look at the promotional art:

(…I don’t think that was the message of the book, guys. Sure, Offred was longing for human touch, or pretty much any kind of human connection, but I think that the book was more about women being reduced to wombs with legs, not state-owned prostitutes… It was about the desperation of needing to give birth or face punishment. Everything about this dystopia was hyper-de-sexualized.)

Oh, and my favorite:

“A psychosexual movie shocker.” With what looks like half the cover of a cheesy romance novel, minus some buff shirtless guy.

(I also think it’s kind of funny that they say “once upon a time in the near future” sex became used for control and domination, as if rape and prostitution haven’t existed for centuries… but okay…)

I’ll admit I haven’t seen this version (or the Hulu one, for that matter), but I do appreciate that they cast a properly old and creepy man in the part of the Commander, and a properly aged woman for his Wife. The Hulu casting is a little youthful, if you ask me; the book characters felt very weathered, and I think it mentioned that they were supposed to be quite a bit older than Offred. Her “affair” with the Commander is supposed to feel very weird and unsettling, partially because he’s this old man who wants someone to play Scrabble with and dress up in sequins.

Anyway, then we had what I call the “holy shit these dystopias are too real” phase, culminating with the new Hulu adaptation of this particular dystopia, which is waaaay too relevant to today’s issues.

See? This is how you depict the feeling of objectification. Not with a topless woman bathed in flattering lighting – by objectifying a woman yourself, you’re not sending a message so much as continuing the trend. Especially when you sell your film as some kind of sexy romance. “Branded, sold, controlled: she belongs to The State” doesn’t quite cut it; this very simple, very clear message does. Offred is no longer human, she doesn’t have a face; she is just an object. Objectified.

(This also has some fantastic layering because it recalls the messages that you might find scrawled across the bathroom mirror meant to demean other girls; part of Gilead’s system involves pitting women against each other: Wives against Handmaids, Handmaids against Aunts, even Handmaids against each other out of jealousy and in the Red Center with their slut-shaming. To stay in power, the men at the top make sure that the women below them are too occupied with resenting each other that they forget to look up at who the real enemy is.)

*holy FUCK*

Now THAT is how you market a dystopia. This story is not some scandalous fantasy set in the near-but-distant future; it’s a warning, of what might be lurking just around the corner. The Handmaid’s Tale is an incredibly frightening book to read today, because of the things that are being allowed to happen in our society. It shows what happens when we let sexism flourish, when ecological and political crises make us paranoid enough about national security that we let the people in power take away our rights. It is a fucking nightmare.

Row AQ

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Yoongi (Suga)

Genre: Fluff / Humor

Prompt: “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.” + Library!AU

Rating: PG

Word Count: 2,955

Originally posted by meandmyopinionss

Keep reading

Undertale IRL

It’s here! The whole kick from the kitstarter has arrived! my box of friendship is number 11, if you got one, let us know whose is yours!

Pictured with some additional friends who arrived along the way - Prescription for Sleep, Vinyl and Extended Dog Song!! Still need to obtain a wardrobe and an army of plastic buddies but oh, ow, that Brexit Britain economy!

In the mean time, we’ve got all these cheerful friends! Featuring classic friends such as Ghoatly Jellybeap, Platonic Concept of Mama, <3s, Ahriman AKA Angra Mainyu brother of Ahura Mazda, Froggems, …Jerry, the one friend with the moths, Heckguy and As A Slime! 

Horso! Boat! The Pain of Living! Mr. Onion! Is that a Sims feeling meter! Slime or Rock! ‘Tentacle’! No seriously, is that one a Sim’s emotional gauge? Hard Mode Bug!

Plus he made them sticky so they’re even more fun! Skully! Tall Skull! Lisard! Date Lizard~! That Cupcake Spider Is Adorable! No, I Mean The One That Is A Cupcake But The One That Makes Em Is Rad Too! A Head! A Whole Head! DANCE! Guy Who Seriously Grinded Out Friendship Gold! Volcanx! Candlor! Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits! 

~Spooky Merch~

More friends than you know what to do with including hell faces why do they remain when I close my eyes!

The Amazing Extended Dog

The House of the Rising FUN! (located in Now Orleans, the dad is bad with names)

Whats in The Box??

Oh, yeah Undertell

It is not hands that open the box, it is desire

Also last count I believe is 7 confirmed dogs and a dog boat (maybe…??) but some dog watchers have rated it possibly as high as 51! This is if you factor in dog boat legs as individual dogs, contemplate amalgam dogs dogginess and consider hot dogs to be dogs (when in fact they are actually a kind of grass, you see em down by rivers all the time) 

got a dog number? let us know but show your working!

this one? definitely a dog, what else has bones

answer- THIS GUY!! (same guy, but definitely dog, note the bone)

great! so I have a little home for my art book friend too! I hope I can download the latest art book onto it to update them pesky pages!

SNUGG!!

With special guest star: THIS ISN’T EVEN MY VINYL FORM!



ACT 2: SECRET ACT (don’t look until 10th of october 8pm or cheat and make it that time!)


tiny cryptid, highly secret

cos ya need ‘can do’ to spell canon donut

ps (thank you!!)

Heat Wave

Originally posted by lolurnotgrantgustin

Request: (@the5sosfreakme) I was thinking evil Barry, high school? Like he’s super SUPER possessive of y/n and she comes to school in little shorts… So he’s like super possessive over her and like let’s say Mark Mardon, was flirting with her and he steps in. Then maybe hot and heavy in the parking lot?

Notes: I decided not to add the hot and heavy just because the fic itself ended at a good point and just it would have been a little out of place. Anyways, enjoy!

 Tagging: @tmrhollandkay @silverwingedfox


You groaned as your alarm clock woke you up, the loud song you chose shaking the last remnants of your dream from your mind. Now fully awake you rub your eyes, kicking the sheets off your legs. It was boiling hot outside, and your open window letting in the heat made your room almost unbearable.

Sluggishly, you got out of bed, going through your usual morning routine. Faced with the difficult decision of what to wear in the heat you decided on a cute tank top and a pair of high-waisted short shorts, shrugging on a long cardigan on top in case school was cold inside. You put on a pair converse and quickly finish your makeup, deciding to pull your hair back so it doesn’t stick to your neck. Comfortable with your choices, you grab your backpack and make your way downstairs, grabbing something quick for breakfast and saying a quick goodbye to your family before getting into your car.

The drive to school was short, the AC cooling you down only to be blasted with heat when you get out of the car. You push through the doors into school, saying hi to people you pass as you make your way to your locker.

Keep reading