guys can be pretty

Chris Pratt, attractive rich heterosexual white man, says he doesn't feel represented in Hollywood.

America’s favorite Average White Man has an interview with People magazine ahead of the sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy.  

“I don’t see personal stories that necessarily resonate with me, because they’re not my stories,” Pratt, 37, told the magazine. “I think there’s room for me to tell mine, and probably an audience that would be hungry for them. The voice of the average, blue-collar American isn’t necessarily represented in Hollywood.”

I’m actually amused by how earnest he is.  Has he ever even been to the movies?

I’m pretty sure there’s a whole genre of movies based on average, blue-collar American white men literally saving some brown person’s country or the entire planet or whole other planets.  

I’m pretty sure there’s a whole genre of movies where average, blue-collar American white men pine after some woman who is probably too good for them and then a whole lot of stuff happens in the middle where she realizes whoever she’s with is a dick and she should be with the protagonist instead so the average guy can get the girl.

I’m pretty sure there’s a whole genre of movies where average, blue-collar American white men – who are usually from Chicago or Boston – go into a life of crime for some noble reason (or not) and we sit for 90 minutes rooting for a “hero” who is literally breaking the law in every frame and/or killing people.

Chris Pratt sounds like someone strapped him in to a chair and made him watch Moonlight for 17 days so now he forgot that Hollywood is literally founded on white mediocrity.  But wait!  There’s more:

“I really feel there’s common ground out there that’s missed because we focus on the things that separate us,” he said. “You’re either the red state or the blue state, the left or the right. Not everything is politics. And maybe that’s something I’d want to help bridge, because I don’t feel represented by either side.”

I actually do think there’s common ground out there, and the common ground is the provable fact that the vast majority of Americans are a lot less prosperous than they realize, especially in comparison to the corporations they work for where all of the money is being hoarded.  Our common ground as Americans would be redistributing the enormous wealth of this country so that we all could experience a higher standard of living.  Unfortunately, that’s not possible because the things that separate us (mostly race, class, education, and location) are effectively used by our political system to keep an Us vs Them society among average Americans.  This ensures that we don’t turn the country into a Haves vs HaveNots society where the overwhelming majority of Americans would define themselves as the HaveNots if they were thinking clearly and less concerned with how much they have in comparison to a neighbor who doesn’t look and/or think like they do.

But that’s not where Chris Pratt is.  Chris Pratt is one of those Everybody Is So Upset, Can’t We All Just Get Along? yokels who doesn’t want to deal with conflict.  He doesn’t have to deal with the day to day consequences of politics so to him, not everything is politics.  I’d love to see what kind of bridge he is planning to make with his everyman blue-collar American heterosexual movie that speaks to him and has never been done before repeatedly.  Let me know how it is.  I’ll go spend my HaveNot money on something else.

space battle
  • keith: lance... if we don't make it out of here alive... i just want you to know that i love you
  • lance: keith... i... wait, is someone crying?
  • galra 1: jared holy shit this is just like the movie we watched the other day
  • galra 2: dude, we have have to do our jobs don't-
  • galra 1: (crying)
  • galra 2: okay it is pretty sweet i'm not gonna lie--
  • zarkon: guys can we please FOCUS,

It’s official & it’s literally the soonest I can possibly share this info: #PennZeroSeason2 is premiering on @disneyxd Summer 2017! ✨🌈🦄🔥😎 📞☎️

the signs as people from my university
  • Aries: That girl who loves partying and socializing with people, she's a fangirl of so many buffed-up singers and she's so pretty. She's kinda judgmental and she's homophobic but she follows so many gay people and likes their posts and nobody in my generation really understands why. She can be really impulsive sometimes and she hates classes but she's a good friend and a funny person
  • Taurus: That girl who is always late, she has social anxiety and she's silent af. Grades are not her forte'. She tries to socialize very hard and everyone is annoyed by the fact that she tries to discuss things that she really doesn't know shit about. She is afraid of some professors, she is christian af and she is kinda lost, but she's a good girl who believes in the supernatural and she always invites us to coffee at her place
  • Gemini: The girl who loves spending time with people, she always loves to discuss about every topic, she knows so much about many things, she's doing great with her grades and she's among the top 5 students in the entire generation. Also, she has PERFECT, sonorous American accent and everybody loves it. She always initiates coffee gatherings but nobody really comes because she's not that much of a leader and her voice is so soft so nobody could really hear when she's talking. She's also a passionate gamer AND in the same time she finds time to maintain her grades and social life
  • Cancer: That (jock) guy who's the tallest one, he's blonde, buffed-up and he's the definition of a straight white boy. He's childish as fuck and he can become very boring sometimes. Once, my colleagues have shooed him out of the cafeteria because he was bothering them. He also tells so many stupid dad-jokes and laughs at his own jokes, flirts with some professors, has been single since forever (not that he's ugly - he's average looking but he's so much boring sometimes because he doesn't have any real friends and he gets excited about people so he doesn't know WHEN to stop). He literally flirts with every single female human being that he can find and he pushes them all away because he's pushy af. He's also introverted and doesn't really know his way with girls
  • Leo: That girl who's one of the top students in the generation. She's always smiling, she has the best grades, she always tries to present this "perfect" image of herself. She is very intelligent and she loves reading, she gets drunk like every second day but that doesn't stop her from maintaining her perfect grades. She's very successful and she's a good leader, she knows all the fresh gossip and she always sits in the first row with her best university friend. In fact, she and her best uni friend are hated by everyone because they're just so successful and everyone's jealous of them. She also secretly hates everybody and gossips with her best uni friend. She and her friend have tons of screenshots ready to blackmail people if anyone says anything against them lmao. But everyone (every zodiac sign) in this generation pretends we like each other so...
  • Virgo: That professor who's VERY detail-oriented and she's a big perfectionist but she can't fix her awful handwriting. She's very successful and she has TONS of potential, she literally KNOWS EVERYTHING about her subjects but sometimes she can really drain us physically and emotionally. She gives us tons of assignments and homework and she always gives us lectures on the most difficult courses. Jfc she behaves like we study in Cambridge / Oxford. But don't get me wrong, she's NOT a bad person. She's actually a VERY good person and at the end of each semester she buys us coffee and tea, she talks with us about our experience with the course and she just wants us to learn some things that we should learn, that's why we perceive her as "difficult" and "problematic"
  • Libra: That girl who loves hugging, has great communication skills and is a social justice warrior. She thinks that she's everyone's friend and she always tries to criticize everyone's opinion, thinking that she'll seem and sound more intelligent. She also listens to rock and metal, she loves children and she smokes a lot, she's very sensitive and she's very friendly. Once, on the Facebook group of the university, she tried to accuse Pisces of something he didn't do and he literally ruined her in front of all those people, that was one of her biggest mistakes she's ever done in uni because she didn't know that that guy can be pretty evil when someone tries to insult/hurt him. The next day in uni she was on the verge of a mental breakdown because that guy really hurt her with his words, making her look stupid and pretentious, and everybody stopped talking to that guy for like, a month or two
  • Scorpio: That girl who's late in class 90% of the time, and those 10% she's not present in class. She is very quiet and she doesn't show particular interest in anything. She doesn't have a taste in fashion and style, unlike most Scorpios that I know. She just wants to go home all the time and nobody knows what she's doing in her life, she's so mysterious and she's not a good teamworker because she doesn't really care about her grades
  • Sagittarius: That girl who can't stop talking and she's always arguing with someone but we all love her. She's very communicative but she's insecure at the same time. She has tons of likes on Facebook and Instagram. She's a VERY open-minded girl, she hates racism, homophobes, nazi scum and racists. She's a really good friend with Leo and Pisces but Capricorn is her bff and her roommate. She has an excellent taste in fashion, style and music and she has S_L_A_Y_I_N_G eyebrows. I think that she's bi/lesbian but maybe she's closeted. She always hugs Capricorn and gets beaten by Capricorn because Capricorn can't stand people touching her
  • Capricorn: That girl who loves vintage notebooks, loves taking studyblr photos and uploads them on tubmlr and Instagram, she loves journeys and we haven't heard her talking for THREE GODDAMN YEARS. She is very antisocial and introverted but she has excellent taste for art, film, music and she's like 24/7 on her phone because it's obvious that she can't stand most of us but she's always sweet and supportive when someone approaches her. Sometimes she doesn't want to talk and she just smiles as a response. She's Sagittarius' best friend and roommate and they've became really close friends. She also loves journeys and she's a daydreamer but she's very intelligent. Her grades are not that good, she's not an attention whore and she tries to be "invisible" but she simply can't
  • Aquarius: That guy with his cockney accent who has insane memory and loves football. He's actually a loner, he's a bit creepy and weird, le loves britpop and indie nd he was one of the best students in the first two years of uni but his grades dropped. He's like, very secretive and he can be pretty arrogant and you just can't sit next to him because he's telling jokes all the time which takes your attention away. He is a loner and once he publicly told us that he used to have cyber sex with his girlfriend because she lived in another country and they've never met in real life (I mean, who tells such things omg Aqua get your shit together). He tries to insult people and he tries to be sarcastic but he can only be sarcastic with the stupid ones. He also thinks that he's a know-it-all and that he's the most intelligent person in the world. He can be really judgmental sometimes and he pushes people away with that
  • Pisces: That guy who always sits in the first row with his best university friend and is one of the top students in the generation. He's also a model, nerd, gamer, works out and whatnot. He is sweet to everyone and talks to everyone but he can be very sassy at times. He was the one who had a verbal fight with Libra because Libra triggered him and he destroyed her verbally. He's really skinny and dreamy and he has a very deep voice and an excellent taste in fashion and style. His style is kinda dark and he's so aesthetic. He listens to some music that no other people in the world listen to but he also listens to some mainstream music. In fact, he listens to whatever he wants and he doesn't really think about what other people think about him. He tends to roll his eyes a lot and he cares about his physical beauty more than he cares about his love life. He's too egotistic and self-centered and he's extremely picky, which makes him single most of the time.
2

all the boys // panic! at the disco

y'all ever think about the fact that oot link spent his entire childhood being ostracized by the only people he knows – and when it seems like things are gonna get a little better he fails to save the most important being in the entire forest (which was also pretty much his father figure) and gets blamed for it?? this child needed therapy long before the whole time travel thing tbh

shipwreckedcomedy: Writing session for a very real project that isn’t at all fake.

After much photo editing and squinting I was able to make out almost all of it:

POE PARTY SEASON 2
Story ideas

- Kill HG Wells for good
- Instead of murders… (I have no idea what the rest says but I’m pretty sure it says back massages??)
- They are just a theater group getting really into character
- Joe the director murders everyone off screen
- CGI mustache
- REVEAL: Hemingway is Poe’s father
- Eddie is Hemingway’s father
- BUT
- Poe is Eddie’s father
- WHAT?
- You heard me!
- Kevin Spacey IS Keyser Soze
- Rachel got off the plane!!
- It was New York all along
- Rosebud is the… (again, no idea what that last word was)