guy wallace

By the time Cait Sith entered the party for good, it had become a tradition that every person who enters and stays with the group will try to impart at least one useful skill to everyone else.

  • Tifa taught everyone basic grapples and self-defense techniques as well as basic business skills and haggling. (She didn’t become the owner of a successful bar with just her good looks)
  • Barret attempted to teach geography and cooking. Turns out that he’s actually very handy a preparing certain meals and his history with living in a mining town gave him a unique perspective on how to read the surrounding area (if there was water nearby, if a bit of stone was in danger of falling, what kind of minerals were prevalent, etc.)
  • Cloud was able to pass along important wilderness survival skills… And sewing… (His mother taught it to him after he came home one too many times with rips and tears in his pants and shirt.)
  • Aeris taught everyone how to identify helpful herbs that could be used in cooking, medicine and even how to use them to suppliment the group’s potion/ether supplies. It’s saved them loads of gil in hard times.
  • Red XIII passed on hunting and meditation. The parts of monsters they didn’t eat were sold at markets for extra gil. Aeris, Tifa, Vincent, Reeve and surprisingly Yuffie took to meditation relatively easily. Cloud took a lot effort to get it right and was only able to master it after the Geostigma outbreak. Both Barret and Cid struggled with traditional methods, so Red suggested substituting routine actions.
  • Yuffie naturally tried to pass on some of the more widely known secrets of being a ninja and a thief, but settled for teaching the others Wutaian and pickpocketing.
  • Vincent was insistent that everyone learn how to fire a gun, how to read Turk hand signals and cyphers and how to tail someone without being spotted. If Shinra was their enemy, then it paid to know what their agents were going to do.
  • Cid gave the others a crash course in the basics of flying an airship and tried to teach them how to use a pole weapon (Cloud and Aeris stayed with it for more than the first few lessons, but only Aeris really benefited).
  • Cait Sith ultimately passed on some of Reeve’s skills as an engineer (Cloud eventually uses them to build Fenrir and Cid used them to help construct the Shera).

I was having a bad day, so I drew this loser to cheer me up :v


All-around legend Laurie Anderson stepped into the Criterion closet after a screening of her dreamy new film, HEART OF A DOG… see what she took home!


From Left to Right: 

Harriet Irwin, Hexagonal Building, Plan, Charlotte, North Carolina / Wallace K. Harrison, Hall of Science, Plan, 1964 World’s Fair, New York, New York 

Guy Lowell, County Court House, Plan, New York, New York / Vacation & Leisure Home Plans, Plan No. 9392 

Okay, so, there once was this guy named Wallace, right? He’s driving through the desert one day and his car ends up breaking down, so he ends up going out into the desert in an attempt to find help, only to pass out from dehydration.
When he wakes up, there’s a snake several feet in front of him. They stare at each other for several seconds until the snake opens his mouth, and says,
“Hi, my name’s Nate!”
And Wallace naturally is freaked out. The snake continues, telling Wallace how he’s lived in the desert for centuries, protecting a magical lever that, when pulled, could destroy the world. Nate tells him that he offers the chance to pull the lever to however he finds in the desert, and, just like everyone else, Wallace is offered the decision.
He debates. His life has been hectic lately - he’s going through a divorce, he’s losing his job, everything is in shambles. He tells Nate that he will come back, and, if his life is still in the state it is, he will pull the lever. Nate assures him he’ll still be there and sends Wallace on his way.
Wallace returns several months later. His life is much better - he quit his job and has opened up a new company, has moved into a better house, and, while his marriage has ended, he has since improved his relationship with his children. He decides to visit Nate just to see how everything is, feeling like they’d developed a friendship in the desert awhile back.
A baby snake is following Nate around this time - we’ll call this baby snake Jeffrey. Nate isn’t the same old snake he used to be; he’s moving much slower and seems to be in bad shape. He asks Wallace to take Jeffrey with him and let him see the world, before he’s forced to stay and guard the lever just as Nate was. Wallace assures Nate he will take good care of Jeffrey and leaves with the snake in tow.
They travel across the world, to every continent, see everything Jeffrey could possibly want to see, before they return to the desert. It’s been awhile since Wallace has returned, and both him and Jeffrey are having a hard time finding the lever. Jeffrey is resting on Wallace’s shoulder when they begin to go down a hill, and see two things:
Nate and the lever.
Wallace attempts to press the breaks on his car, though they go out, and they continue down the hill, with only two choices - continuing straight towards Nate or turning and hitting the lever.
What Wallace says is,
“Better Nate than lever!”
@imaginemysticalmessages :^)