Opening panel Rich: I’ve never heard the German language sound so pervy when you say
(in a pervy voice): Oh yes, we’re gonna have fun together.
Gil and Sebastian Sebastian (to us): How are you? Us: Woooo! Sebastian (to Gil): How are you? Gil:
(sees people leave for Briana and Kim’s photo op): Aaah! Schweinhund!
Did you see The Man in the High Castle? Did
you like my German accent? (There are some people who react somewhat
negatively.) You are scheisse!
(is going through the rows): She just said, (in an awestruck voice) “Oh my god,
he touched me.”
Sebastian (from the other end of the panel room): Hello front row! (Front rows wave back.) Fuck
(talking about Jensen): Everybody gets pregnant in five seconds. (in a
high-pitched voice) Oh, my vagina!
We were working on that scene and Jared and Jensen were doing research on the
computer and they turned it around [so I could see the screen] and there was
this giant picture of a naked man.
(about touching Gil’s arm): I touched it. I felt it. It was good.
Kim and Briana Briana:
I would love to play Crowley. Well, not anymore.
Matt and Ruth Ruth
(talking about the most difficult scene she’s had to do, in a very soft voice):
That’s when she tells him– (sees people coming back from a photo op, now dead
in the eye) you’re late.
(talking about Jensen): It’s like looking into the sun.
Rich and Rob Rich:
Cookie Ashley [Chuchichästli].
Fan: You’re my favourite actor ever. Rich:
That woman knows quality.
I hope you’re happy now, Rob. You made her cry.
Let me talk about Gabriel as a son. (…) And Michael, of course, my good son.
(watching people leave): They’re really upset about this, Rich.
and Rich: What, there is a guy! (start singing) A guy in the room, a person
with a penis (…)!
You know, I think it would be an ice musical. (People start leaving for
Sebastian’s photo op.) Oh Jesus, it wouldn’t be an ice musical! (There’s some babbling,
then) GOD DAMMIT!
Fan: If you could be God and Gabriel for one night what would you do? There’s a long silence. Rich
(bewildered): We are God and Gabriel.
We all want to ride Sam.
If you wanna imitate Sebastian–that’s really easy. Find a stationary object and
Raffle with Kim Kim:
Monika, I hope this sells for a lot on ebay for you.
Auction with Gil and Sebastian Seb (talking
about Rob’s banner): You can sleep with Rob!
Two women have been trying to outbid each other for some minutes now. Ruth:
Maybe they should just wrestle for it.
Matt has put on Rich’s shirt as pants. Matt:
There’s usually just one dick in there. (…) Fifty euros for my two dick shirt!
Sebastian said, “Gil read the book on the loo” and there are only two
bidders left. Sebastian:
It’s gonna be a battle of wills. A battle of the toilets. (silence, then) Think
of the toilet!
250 over there in Antarctica! (He means the far end of the panel room.) It must
be very cold there. Your nipples must be hard.
The Antarctica bidder just lost. Sebastian
(to the bidder): And your nipples were hard but not hard enough.
(talking about Matt’s banner): Holy shit, I wanna fuck him. I mean, who doesn’t.
(…) Meine Vagina is on fire!
(talking about Matt): He looks like he was built by a toy company. Or a sex shop.
You saved a lot of dogs, cats and rats today … Rats are nice people, too!
Gil and Sebastian Gil:
Jensen told me to say yes when they’d call me. He said, they’d call to ask me
about doing conventions and I should just say yes. And I wasn’t even sure they’d
call because the episode I was on hadn’t even aired yet. But he just said, “Don’t
worry, you’re a Winchester.”
Being on Supernatural was amazing but the conventions are honestly the best
Sebastian: Balthazar would come back as Castiel’s lover. And–wait for
it–Castiel would be bottom. Gil:
(talking about Balthazar/Castiel fanfiction): You know, when [Misha] and I fake
kissed … The nipples got very hard very quickly.
Sebastian: Oh I remember her! She was the funny-feisty one yesterday! Fan:
Thank you, I guess.
Sebastian makes a sexual reference after a fan asked a question. Gil: She just told you she was a minor! Sebastian:
Oh, a minor! I thought she said she
worked in a coal mine!
Sebastian: Entschuldigung für mein
Gil: Do you wanna go to Mars? Sebastian:
Who the fuck would wanna go to Mars?! (…) Your balls would freeze in an
(points at upper body): I’m half Scottish, (points at loins) half French.
Sebastian: My mum was born in 1939 and she looks great. Fan (from the audience): My mum too! Sebastian:
Oh, your father too!
Sebastian (to a fan): Do you understand everything? Gil:
Sebastian: I am wearing special underwear for old people. So you know,
when I say, I’m just shitting, I really mean it. And
of course, Gil is cracking up in the background.
Gil: I’m gonna dream about this panel on my flight back to America. Sebastian:
Dream or nightmare?
Gil asked people whether they’ve ever been to Texas and somebody told
them they’ve been to El Paso. Gil: El
Paso? You think it was nice? Oh that’s sweet. Nobody ever says that about El
Kim, Briana and Ruth Kim:
The good thing about sitting on the floor is … you can’t fall off it.
Wait, so there’s porn and then there’s trashporn?! (…) I’m so confused by that
It’s so funny you think that the boys are the dirty ones on Supernatural.
I ship Jody with literally everybody.
(about women and representation): Fuck, we don’t matter!
My heaven looks like hell. (…) I’d be sitting on a red sofa and throw Lindt
chocolate papers at a naked Mark Pellegrino.
If my happiness depends on what other people think about me, I’m fucked.
I wanted to be a boss. It didn’t really matter of what. I just wanted to be the
I wanted to become an English teacher but you have to be outgoing and
entertaining so I took acting classes in college when I was nineteen aaand I still haven’t become an English
Fan: How would alternate universe Rowena be like? Ruth: Ich kann jetzt nicht darüber
sprechen, es ist viel zu schmerzhaft.
It breaks my heart that I live in a world where people can’t be who they truly
Matt, Richard and Rob Apparently, the guys are having problems pronouncing the word “nephilim”
so they decided to say “heffalump” instead. Rich:
Jesus is a heffalump.
Fan: Why do your characters always die? Rich:
Because contrary to popular belief you can
have too much Dick in your life.
Rich (talking about Sabriel): Let the fans do what the fans wanna do. Rob: Why am I not in on this? Rich:
You do know I’m your son?
Fan: What happened to your French twitter account, Rich? Rich:
Who? Oh, that’s not me, he just looks like me! But he will probably tweet later
today because he just remembered he had that account.
Hi Lovlies. How do you think each of the Avengers would cope with going on a cruise ship?? The spies being hyper vigilant, tony providing great internet, steve and the motion of the waves etc.
“I don’t feel good,” Steve groans, his head sagging between his knees.
“Huh,” Tony says. “Who knew that the Super Soldier Serum didn’t take away motion sickness?” Steve hears him rummaging around in his bag for something before he finds it and gives a pleased hum.
“What are you even doing?” Rhodes asks from where he’s seated in the lounge chair. The three of them are in “Mission Command” aka Tony’s room since he only managed to score a luxury suite for himself.
“I’m trying to fix the wifi on this godforsaken boat so we can get our intel, get the bad guys and then get out.”
“I don’t know,” Rhodes says. He slurps his drink loudly. “I wouldn’t mind staying the entire cruise.”
“Ugh,” Steve groans.
Tony opens his mouth to reply but just then Clint comes falling out of the ceiling. Literally falling out of the ceiling.
“Hey guys,” Clint manages, coughing with the dust that’s surrounding him.
“Great,” Tony says. “Now I have to fix that too, or well, pay for it at least.”
“I’m okay!” Clint assures them.
“I’m not,” Steve groans.
“Hey guys! They have a- what the hell?” Sam questions as he enters the room. He flings the door shut when Natasha strides in behind him. They’re both dressed to the nines in tropical gear and holding fruity drinks. Steve’s stomach continues to churn.
“Clint we haven’t even been here four hours! We haven’t even entered international waters!” Natasha says. She’s trying to stifle a laugh. Sam is too. He’s mostly unsuccessful.
“Steve, buddy, you don’t look so good,” Sam’s telling him but Steve doesn’t hear because he’s too busy racing to the bathroom.
“What’s wrong with him?” He hears Sam ask.
“What’s more believable? He has a weakness for piña coladas or apparently gets very, very sea sick on cruise ships?” Tony answers.
Steve rests his cheek on the cool tile of the bathroom floor. Then he groans.
You know what’s total bunk? Lovecraft LIED to me! I shouldn’t be able to swing a cat without hitting something eldritch and down a well! This is rural goddamn New England! I should know five people who’ve got fishmen in their family! I should BE a fishman! WHERES MY NONEUCLIDIAN BOYFRIEND, HOWARD.