gushy stupid idiots

You will be okay.
Sweetheart, he isn’t everything. I know he is perfect to you, I know you feel like you cant breathe when he’s not yours but do it anyways. Breathe. Take a deep deep breathe. Hold it. Let it out slowly.

Baby, you should take care of yourself. You are your biggest protector. You are the one who feeds you soup when you’re sad, you’re the one who takes care of yourself. Keep doing it. You are worth more than you’ll ever know.

Darling, stop blaming yourself. It isn’t your fault and it isn’t his fault. The things he didn’t like about you you are not to blame for. Be happy. Be gushy. Be stupid. Have loud, idiotic conversations in front of him and when he rolls his eyes, talk louder. He’s not perfect. He breaks people and he bullies them and he sees everything clinically. Just because he can make you laugh doesn’t mean he’s a good person. Your brother can make you laugh. Shows can make you laugh. Your friends can make you laugh. He isn’t the only reason you smile.

Lovely, keep living. Cry over him. Be unhappy. But only for a little while. Remember he was selfish. Remember when he didn’t get what you were trying to say. Remember the time he called a girl gross because she wasn’t skinny. Remember he could have said the same about you. Remember that he is so, so unmatched with you, remember you deserve someone who can read your writing and like it, who takes care of you, who makes you laugh harder than he ever did. You are exceptional. You are dazzling. You are cute and beautiful and the way you write is amazing. You can read faster than anyone and your eyes are a gorgeous color. The way you scream along to songs on the radio is endearing and the way you act with your friends reminds me of sunshine. You are wonderful, and nothing of that has to do with him.

Breathe. You will be okay.

—  what i learned when he broke my heart
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Chapter 8: if i was king

So much paleness in this chapter.  I am pleased.    

Invincible Summer: [AO3] [tag]

The first thing you’re aware of is pain.

Not pain from any part of you—forest pain, and some part of you tells you it’s better than it was even though you can’t quite remember yet what ‘it’ was or why it hurt at all.

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