guns drawn

A lawyer gets pulled over for speeding in Chicago

Lawyer: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: Sir, you were speeding.

Lawyer: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see y our license please?

Lawyer: I would give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Lawyer: Lost it four years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see… Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Lawyer: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Lawyer: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Lawyer: Yes, and I killed the owner.

Officer: You what?

Lawyer: Killed the owner, I had to self defense otherwise he would call the police and I would be in jail.

The Officer looks at the Lawyer and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Senior Officer: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The lawyer steps out of the vehicle.

Lawyer: Is there a problem sir?

Senior Officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and killed the owner.

Lawyer: Killed the owner?

Senior Officer: Is this your car, sir?

Lawyer: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Senior Officer: One of my officers claims that you don’t have a driving license.

The lawyer digs into his pocket takes out his license and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Senior Officer: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you killed the owner.

Lawyer: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

4

if you expected a serious fanart from me, im sorry

The 4th Episode: A Complete Johnlock Fix-It

The screen is black.  A woman’s voice cuts through.  It’s Molly’s voice.

“Forward? Or Backward?”

A blinding white light floods the darkness.  A pulsating heartbeat. 

“Backward,” sighs Sherlock.

White noise stings as scenes are replayed backward. Sherlock and John running backward.  John’s fist recoiling from Sherlock in the morgue.  The christening, backward. The birth, backward.  The plane glides into the air, tail first. Magnussen’s limp body jolts into standing position, Sherlock puts the gun back in John’s pocket. The flashdrive jumps from the fire, into John’s hand.  The gun drops, the coin falls back into Mary’s fingers. Sherlock raises from Magnussen’s floor, the blood-stained shirt turns freshly white. Mary stands across from Sherlock, gun drawn.

Roll Title Credits.

Keep reading

2

Don’t. Please.

- From Done with My Dying, by @stonelions


It took me altogether too long to start reading this. I got to chapter two, and just had to doodle. In my excitement, I got a few details wrong, but I hope it’s ok. 

Miss Me?

Originally posted by canonspngifs

Request: Can you do a dean one shot where he thinks the reader (who is his girlfriend) is dead (she was a badass hunter) cuz she “died” during a fight with a demon. But she shows up again alive a month or two later and they have hot sex to celebrate her return? Also fluff somewhere in there please?

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,600ish

Warnings: language, smut

A/N: I think this is a good balance of smut & fluff…


Keep reading

tbh Kanae had one of the most incredible, underrated lines in Tokyo Ghoul:

…deserve to be happy.”

That alone puts the lives and deaths of individuals into a whole new perspective. In a story where many characters are having their hand forced all through life, in hiding, in shame, in fear, could the least they wish for be an honest and happy death? Quietly in peace, or guns drawn and blazing? And what about the abrupt, ugly deaths? Tatara, with his life of sadism and vengeance, and Houji, who caused it… And what about Shirazu, who died in total fear, for the well being of his sister?

Kanae was an immensely important character, if anything as a precedent which all lives and deaths can be compared to. Nearly all lines can be drawn back to her, whether it’s vying for love or appreciation, conflicting bouts of devotion or selfishness, desperation to protect something or someone, or just the desire to live a good life.