gun jams

anonymous asked:

Shipping meme for Connor and jam (I'm bored ;-;)

sure why not, right? @moringmark

I could (but can’t cuz covy fans will eat me alive. ALIIIIIIIIIVE) 

  • Who is the most affectionate? Connor
  • Big spoon/Little spoon? Jam is big spoon
  • Most common argument? No dead corpses on the table, no you can’t hunt in a national park, we use money this century. 
  • Favorite non-sexual activity? Teaching Jam about all the things he found in the future, watching Connor invent 
  • Who is most likely to carry the other? Jam
  • Nicknames? Connor: Jam jam, J, Seashell, put the gun away, Thomas. Jam: Four eyes *picked up from nova* Moon, science dude, LIIIIIIIIIIES!
  • Who worries the most? Jam
  • Who tops? Jam        
  • Who initiates kisses? Connor
  • Who wakes up first? Jam (he’s used to sentry duty and patrols.) 
  • Who says I love you first? Connor. 
I hope you have to retype every single one of those letters. I hope you spill ink everywhere. I hope the gun jams. I hope you drop those razors down the drain. I hope the rope snaps. I hope sleep finally comes easy. I hope you never feel like dying again. I know that you’re in pain and I know that it hurts to feel it everyday. I know that you’re trying. No one notices, sometimes… not even you. I notice. I see you. I’m hopeful about you. I’m hopeful for you. I believe in you. You’ve got this.
—  Suicide letters that just won’t send
Awkward things that happened during claps that the fab four doesn’t want you to know about:
  • Kobra bringing everything to a standstill because he lost his contact lens. Had everyone, including Dracs, looking for them.
  • Party losing his pants and refusing to put them back on.
  • Everyone pointing at Korse and yelling ‘Bald!’ because the sun was reflecting just right and it blinded them.
  • Jet tripping over his own feet because he couldn’t see through his hair.
  • Party trying to jump over the hood of the Trans Am dukes of hazard style and hitting himself right in the balls.
  • Ghoul torturing a Drac by reciting vegan brownie recipes
  • Kobra punching out an exterminator so hard they were flung back like ten feet but no one seeing it.
  • Kobra karate chopping a blaster in half when no one was looking
  • Poison’s gun jamming and him throwing it at a Drac before freaking out and trying to get it back
  • Jet ‘accidentally’ suplexing Ghoul
  •  Ghoul ‘accidentally’ kicking Korse in the balls so hard that Party felt so bad he called off the fight
  • Kobra pantsing Korse during the middle of a clap and no one knowing what to do
  • Ghoul and Kobra accidentally making out
  • Jet stopping the fight because he found someone’s finger and needed to make sure it wasn’t any of the guy’s.
  • Party and Jet getting into a fight with a group of maggot babies because they kept touching their hair
  • Ghoul forgetting to fill the Trans Am with gas so their ‘dramatic’ escape took several hours.
  • Party being so sleep deprived he started fighting the cacti instead of the Dracs
kubo’s jammed gun

I hear from the grapevines that there are people defending Ichigo ending up in the human world, not in SS, because his sole goal was to protect, apparently, not to become anything like the Pirate King or Hokage.

Then let me ask this question:

Was he even shown to be protecting anyone in the last chapter? No. Which means that even his goal as a hero was not present anymore. Which makes him essentially a failed hero.

He started out from an ill-reputed punk, then became the greatest savior of the world, only to end up inheriting a lazy clinic. That is ichigo’s hero’s journey.

And the last image we have of him as the series closed was him sitting in his couch, comfortably, lazily. What a hero! I’m so inspired! There’s nothing I can even say anymore.

More than that, it’s not even a question of the hero’s journey or Monomyth anymore: it’s simple Chekhov’s gun, writing 101.

Kuborg shows Kyoraku Shunsui handling Soul Tickets to ichigo’s friends, because he is implied to be staying in SS permanently. 

That was never touched upon again.

Chekhov said,

“One must never place a loaded rifle on the stage if it isn’t going to go off. It’s wrong to make promises you don’t mean to keep." 

kuborg’s failure to address this scene again is a direct violation of the Chekhov’s gun, which makes him a shitty writer, no excuses.

No, it’s not a matter of shipping. The shipping was collateral damage. Ichigo ended up in the human world (which resulted to OriGo) because the Chekhov gun of the story (Ichigo being implied to end up in SS permanently) never went off.

There are more unfired Chekhov guns in the story, but what makes the case of ichigo’s hero’s journey worst is that it cannot be excused as a mere result of being rushed. You can be rushed but still make ichigo end up in SS at the last chapter. But the focus of blech was never about ichigo’s hero’s journey anymore (billing it as shonen is misleading af), has not been about it for a long time now. How long did ichigo spend in this last arc just running from one point to another, without accomplishing anything? Is that how you treat your main character?

No, the end of blech was all about the pairings, not about Ichigo’s hero’s journey. Which is another piece of lie from kuborg because he was also the one who said before that he does not want to focus on romance.

I’ll say it again: kubo is worse than Harvey Dent as a two-faced liar.

That last image of ichigo at the last anime episode, overlooking the town he protects, that’s the true ichigo for me. Not this Al Bundy imitator I see in the last chapter sitting comfortably in his couch, looking like he’s been defeated by life and realized that the teenage idealism that he used to have has all been a bad idea. The true Ichigo I know is not someone who has chosen comfort over duty.


(I’ve seen the death of the idealism that youth used to have so many times, as people get swallowed by the mundane system of adulthood. Reading shonen was a way to escape that reality. But after blech, I guess not. blech being called shonen is a blatant lie.)

Ocelot: Talk dirty to me ;^))

Big Boss: You ejected the first bullet by hand, didn’t you? I see what you were trying to do, but testing a technique you’ve only heard about in the middle of battle wasn’t very smart. You were asking to have your gun jam on you. Besides, I don’t think you’re cut out for an automatic in the first place; you tend to twist your elbow a little to absorb the recoil. That’s more of a revolver technique. 

Ocelot: haha then what? ;^)

anonymous asked:

Friendo, friend, buddy, got anything for midas!gta!gav? I need it like I need air-Bdoesshiphaus

Maaaaaan after seeing your writing i feel like you were asking for the emotionless killer, humanity extinguished by grief, fahchaus kind of Midas-persona but i gotta tell you i read this and still think of Midas!Gavin as Gavin with turn-shit-to-gold powers so i’m very sorry but that’s what you got:

Gavin has been wearing gloves from the moment Geoff first met him. It’s weird, and Geoff never believed the claims that he was always cold, but the way the kid cringes away from physical contact stopped Geoff from pressing. He figures Gavin has issues with touching people, or is excessively careful about fingerprints, or has some weird skin condition, and eventually just stops thinking about it.

As the FAHC grows each member goes through the same confusion-interest-acceptance cycle, and the closest Gavin gets to explaining himself is the one time he angrily pulls off his gloves and flails perfectly normal looking hands around for a moment after Michael spent all afternoon loudly theorising about how gross they must be. He storms off to his room, slamming the door, and by the time anyone notices the new golden handle on Gavin’s door weeks have passed and they all assume it’s just another addition to his ridiculous collection.

A collection that has only grown over time, Gavin’s apparent obsession with gold reaching everything from his jewellery to his sunglasses to the ridiculous finishings on his weapons and vehicles. It’s no real surprise when Gavin gains the moniker of Golden Boy, but it still seems to amuse him to no end.

They’ve been running Los Santos together for almost two years when the truth finally comes out, Gavin coming up behind some thug who had cornered Michael and Ryan, grabbing the back of his neck with a bare hand before the man could react. The change is almost instantaneous, gold rushing out from Gavin’s fingertips so quickly the man can’t even lower his gun before he is completely engulfed.

There’s a beat of silence, Michael and Ryan wide eyed and shellshocked, Gavin curling into himself as he struggled to get his glove back on, the man a cold, gold statue between them, and then their ride turns up, Jack hollering out the window as sirens blare in the distance. Ryan snaps out of it first, yelling at Michael to get Gavin in the fucking van as he rushes forward to grab the golden man and lug it with him.

The trip back the the penthouse is uncomfortable to say the least. Michael recounts the event at top speed, top volume, all flailing hands and incredulous swearing. Ryan’s dumped his mask and spends the trip going back and forth between examining the man and squinting curiously at Gavin, only jumping into Michael’s story when the other’s try to shut him down, and Gavin.. Gavin shoved himself into the back corner of the van, hands once again covered and shoved under his arms, glaring down at his own knees, refusing to answer anyone’s questions.

When they make it home Ryan thinks they’ll wait till they’re safely upstairs before they talk things through. This is the FAHC though; they have it out right there in the garage, loud and annoyed but mostly just really fucking confused – of all the possible reasons for Gavin’s gloves they weren’t expecting that. Between Geoff, Michael and eventually Gavin there is a lot of shouting, with Jack and Ryan torn between mediating and wanting their own questions answered, and Jeremy and Ray standing to the side, poking at the statue.

Gavin swings between defensive anger and senseless panic, terrified of what they’ll do now that they all know his secret, know that he’s dangerous, that he’d have to be worth a fortune to the right person. Which, honestly, just kicks off the shouting again because what a stupid idea. What a goddamn moron. As if Gavin wasn’t already dangerous, as if they weren’t all dangerous. As if they’d let anything under the sun take him from them let alone give him away.

So eventually Gavin settles down, tells them he’s always been like this, that he’s got some control over the power, that it requires some intention so he can actually hold something bare handed without changing it but it takes more concentration than he’s prepared to spend every moment of every day. He tells them that this wasn’t the first human he’s changed, not even the first he’s changed on purpose. That they don’t ever change back. Its a serious moment, quiet, Gavin clearly waiting for their judgement, most of the crew trying to work out how to explain that this is no different from every other way they kill, then Ray asks if Gavin’s ever changed a turd and as Gavin splutters in horror the moment passes.

Manoeuvring the statue into the elevator is no easy task, the man’s arms stretched forward as he aimed his gun, one leg back to brace himself, jacket flared from the wind; it’s quite the action pose, and the lads drag reluctant laughter out of Gavin as they do their best to mimic it on the way up to the penthouse.

What follows is a pretty fierce discussion about what exactly they should do with the statue. No one feels bad for the guy, they’d have happily shot him dead if they’d had the chance, but still the idea of melting him down seems a step too far. Ryan was pretty keen to chop him up and see if the change went all he way through but in the end Geoff decides that they’ll stick him in the lobby like a garish art piece. Because nothing says welcome to our home like a life-sized gun wielding man made out of solid gold. Ray want’s to call him Percival, Michael argues that he can’t have almost lost his life to someone called Percival, Gavin suggests Squidge Dinglebutt and in the end they somehow settle on George. 

Now that he doesn’t have to explain away their origin Gavin changes even more of his things, truly embodying his image as the Golden Boy, and the FAHC never have another problem scrounging up funds. Gavin still wears his gloves, and outside of the occasional joke mid-heist they’re all pretty good at keeping his power a secret, but if the occasional rumour regarding unbelievable feats and the Fake’s collection of impossibly realistic golden statues arises, well, George can always use more friends.