gun in pants

3

the tazswap ipre crew!

underrated sunny scene: when charlie threatens the landlord with the gun in his pants, then immediately slams the door and starts hyperventilating/gagging while the success music plays

hello all, I just had an anxiety attack and I wanted to share some youtube videos I watch a lot that help me calm down/feel better in case it might help any of you (includes funny videos, some animations, and music videos I really enjoy).

funny stuff:

funhaus scrobbles

kitchen gun shoots down paper planes

tight pants/body rolls

ding ding

judge morty: state of georgia vs. rick allen

super spice bros 2

never gonna hit those notes

totally obsessed pac-man

japanese donald trump commercial

karamatsu death scene

markiplier’s photobooth fun w chica

sexy edible lingerie taste test (buzzfeed is fucking… awful but The Try Guys make everything in life better)

ultimate muscle roller legend

the dark side of ring pop

how big can rubber gloves get

music videos:

jeanne d’arc - wednesday campanella

the music scene - blockhead

when I was done dying - dan deacon

harvey beaks: the music of pee-choo

ode to the bouncer - studio killers

space is cool - schmoyoho remix

freak of the week - freak kitchen

animations:

this actually happens a lot

fuwa fuwa foop op

french cancan

fan.tasia (I’m putting this under animations cause idk what else to call it)

laundry day

projectile dysfunction

“Your job, gentlemen, is to fight these monsters with bullets, garlic, and holy water. Put a stake through its heart, cut off his head, burn the corpse, scatter the ashes at a crossroads. For further instructions, consult Bram Stoker.” -Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing

Morning Coffee.

previously titled “Plot Twist.”

Spencer Reid x Reader

Spencer sees the reader every morning at the coffee shop. One day while they’re both in there someone attempts an armed robbery, but to Spencer’s surprise the reader pulls her own gun, ready to defend herself and others. Caught up in the chaos and stress of it all, Spencer instinctually reaches for his gun as well. After everyone is safe, he asks her about why she’s got such a weapon. 

anon requested.

warning! attempted armed robbery in a public place

↳ Part One.

Each morning before work, you’d stop at the coffee shop on the corner near the police station. Although you had moved to Quantico pretty recently, you’d been a homicide detective for a while.

And each morning as you waited in line you saw the same man sitting by the window. He had messy curly hair and was tall and lanky, and always carried a bag with him. 

You didn’t know his name for the longest time, but spotted ‘Spencer’ scrawled onto his paper cup one morning and grinned to yourself. You’d developed a small “crush” on him, sure it wasn’t a real one since you hadn’t officially met but from time to time you’d find yourself looking around the small shop in hopes to spot his messy head of hair. Each time you made eye contact he’d show a tight-lipped smile and give a tiny wave. You found it cute.

Spencer had noticed you as well, and found himself looking forward to seeing you in the shop in the morning. He always wondered who you were and what you did since you were awake so early, some days at 6 am, and then left in a hurry but not before flashing a smile and shouting a ‘thank you!’ to the barista.

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The Signs as Deadpool Quotes

Aries: This last shot has to pull out, but it’s the only thing pulling out tonight

Taurus: I’m touching myself tonight

Gemini: Sorry, I use humour to deflect my insecurities. Plus, I’m hilarious, so don’t hate.

Cancer: You’re about to be killed… BY A ZAMBONI

Leo: Whatever the did to me made me totally indestructible… and completely unfuckable

Virgo: Shhh… My common sense is tingling

Libra: Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see you

Scorpio: Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo

Sagittarius: I look like a testicle with teeth

Capricorn: Captain Deadpool! No? Just Deadpool.

Aquarius: Fourth wall break inside of a fourth wall break? That’s like… 16 walls!

Pisces: He got Ajax from the dish soap !

Sugar Daddy Masterlist

Viktuuri

My Sugar Daddy Can’t Be a Mobster! -  Student-athlete Yuuri Katsuki is struggling to balance his training, schoolwork, and expenses. When his roommate introduces him to the lucrative prospect of being a sugar baby, he meets Viktor Nikiforov, an enigmatic man whose pockets run deeper than the Mariana Trench. Viktor wants Yuri at any cost and Yuri is smitten enough to ignore the fact that there is indeed, a gun in Viktor’s pants.

Sugar High -  AU where Yuuri Katsuki is a college student struggling to pay rent, tuition, and just about everything else. When he sets up an account for a sugar daddy dating app, he doesn’t expect anything to come out of it. Instead, he meets Victor Nikiforov, and so begins their walk on the fine line between their physical relationship and something more.

Let’s Be Sinners To Be Saints -  Viktor is a rich businessman who’s struggling with depression, feeling trapped in a life he has no control over. Yuuri works as an exotic dancer at a high-end club in New York to help pay his tuition. When they meet both their lives become a little bit better, and a whole lot more complicated.

Gimmie Some Sugar - One account on a seemingly innocent website was the god sent that Yuri Katsuki needed to help to keep his family’s business afloat. If skating wasn’t going to be enough, maybe talking to people for payment is.And when a certain blue eyed Russian starts messaging him, Yuri figures he doesn’t have anything to lose.

SugarDaddyForMe -  “Katsuki Yuuri’s decision to sign up for a sugar daddy/sugar baby dating website wasn’t necessarily his idea - well, at least not wholly his idea. He may or may not have been inspired, then encouraged by his best friend, and roommate, Phichit to take the final step. Yuuri would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous about what he would encounter on said dating website, he hasn’t even had a proper boyfriend in the 23 years he’s been alive. But he was a college student dealing with massive student loans, a crappy part time job at a coffee shop, and ice skating practice, which was not an easy feat.”

LoveLikeSugar - Yuuri joined that website just because Phichit forced him to, he said. But who was he to reject a nice man who gave him all of his attention?Of course, it didn’t matter at all that the man wanted to be his sugar daddy. Of course not.

We Dem Boyz -  This is an AU where (almost) everything is the same except Phichit and Yuri are the same age. This follows the story of them while they were in Detroit. The boys need some extra cash for their own personal reasons and decide to work at a strip club (thanks to Yuri). Follow these two guys as they maintain school, practice, and working late nights as exotic dancers. More of your favorite Yuri On Ice!!! characters to come later! May contain NSFW material in later chapters. Please be advised.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged - Yuuri Katsuki, under the name of Eros, is an exclusive dancer, performing for a high class audience. Phichit is his closest friend, making it a two-person act. He’s young, desirable, but with the popularity of male dancers dwindling, he’s struggling.Viktor Nikiforov has a huge inheritance on his name, a large estate, and too much time on his hands. Though a popular painter, he’s struggling to find his muse again. That is, until he sees a man by the name of Eros dance. After introductions, Viktor finds that same spark that he hasn’t felt in a long time has suddenly flared up again.

Synchronized Hearts -  Yuri is the typical college student struggling to make it to the end of the month. Stuck in an underpaid job with an abusive boss, he gets fired… and with that, his income source is over.

I love you, no expense spared -  Victor is used to paying for dates, accidentally spilling things on people, and spoiling Katsuki Yuri like no tomorrow.

Sugar me, baby -  Five times Viktor gives ridiculously expensive gifts to Yuuri, and one time Yuuri realizes that he has unwittingly become Viktor’s sugar baby.

Nerve Endings -  When Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg, they have to work through Yuuri’s anxiety and Victor’s secrets to find their balance.

Regazo de oro -  Había leído el tema en Internet, se había informado para no quedar como un idiota, se registró en una de las páginas más populares y esperó.
Se había preparado psicológicamente para eso, no era tan malo si nadie más se enteraba.
Él solo quería pagarse la carrera.

Costly Fun -  It’s costly fun of course, but don’t all the best entertainments come with a high price? Victor is willing to pay anything for his Yuuri.

Otayuri

Café Latte - Inspired by this kink prompt: “Character A works a minimum wage job at Starbucks and is trying to get a second job to help pay rent, but nothing is working out. Strapped for cash, Character A tries to find themselves a Sugar Daddy to pay the bills."Basically, barista Yuri is bad at budgeting and is forced to find alternative methods to make rent. He works at a coffee shop owned by Viktor. Otabek comes from a wealthy family, and is willing to help in exchange for a questionable agreement.

Pliroy

Hold this heart, and I will not fall hard this time -  The night he meets JJ for the first time, the world does tilt and fall, but only because the bartender’s been offering him free drinks in a (futile) campaign to get into his pants, and the alcohol in his veins makes the edges of his vision blur, every limb of his body boneless and heavy. He might feel guiltier about accepting the drinks, but he’s drowning in college loans and knows there’s no way he’s getting drunk out of his own wallet.

Baby

I wrote Sam smut. I needed to cleanse myself with some Dean.

Side note, congrats Michelle! I’ve been a big fan of yours for a while (fuck, just check my fic recs tag), and I’m so happy for you!

Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Challenge: @luci-in-trenchcoats 2k Follower Challenge x
Words: 630
Summary:
Dean’s really protective of his baby
Warnings: Some swearing, because I can’t control myself
Prompt: New rule. You steal my Baby, you get punched.

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