gun in pants

3

the tazswap ipre crew!

hamilton; a summary (part 1)
  • alexander hamilton: this kid's life sucks
  • aaron burr, sir: this other kid's life sucks too
  • my shot: this kid wanna kick some ass
  • the story of tonight: kid is drunk and so is his friends
  • the schuyler sisters: feminism
  • farmer refuted: this kid kicked some ass
  • you'll be back: fuck you part 1
  • right hand man: fuck things are going to shit send help
  • a winters ball: flirting 101
  • helpless: love interest?????
  • satisfied: fuCk love interest
  • the story of tonight (reprise): the kids are drunk again
  • wait for it: don't do anything
  • stay alive: don't fucking die
  • ten duel commandments: shooty shoot shoot guns bang bang
  • meet me inside: son you fucked up
  • that would be enough: hamilton can't keep his dick in his pants
  • guns and ships: super zoomy french kid
  • history has its eyes on you: don't fuck up again
  • yorktown: shooty shoot shoot guns bang bang
  • what comes next: fuck you part 2
  • dear theodosia: cHiLdrEN
  • non-stop: calm the fuck down
Imagine...Getting Hurt On A Hunt

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Request: Could you do a Dean x Reader where they can’t stand each other. Right before a hunt Dean tells her something and hurts her feelings. On the hunt, the reader gets hurt but doesn’t say anything because of what Dean told her. They arrive at the bunker and Dean notices that the reader is asleep and tries to wake her up but notices the blood and freaks out?

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: language, mildish injury


Keep reading

Pick Up Lines (Spideypool Quick Fic)

So this… this got ridiculous lol
For my anon prompt: is that a phone in your back pocket because your ass is calling me

Peter is Andrew Garfield/ Wade is Ryan Reynolds
********************

“Hey did it hurt?”

“Huh?” Peter looked up from brushing the dirt off his suit to see Deadpool peering down at him from the fire escape in the dirty alley.

“Oh. Hey Wade. Did what hurt? Oh the–” he motioned to his dirty suit. “Just took a tumble through a construction yard chasing someone. No biggie.”

“No, I meant did it hurt when you fell from Heaven.” Wade corrected, leering at Spider-Man from behind his mask.

“Good grief.” Peter muttered and turned away. “Don’t you have anything better to do than spy on me and drop terrible pick up lines?”

Well.” Wade dropped onto the ground next to him. “I’d definitely have something better to do if you’d go out with me.”

“I told you no dates.” Peter said firmly. “My identity is very inportant to me, and you need to respect that. Besides–” and now he was grateful his mask covered his blush. “–besides you just like me because I’m covered in spandex.”

“I resent that!” Wade sounded horrified. “While I will admit to staring for hours at your…at your….” his head tilted to the side exaggeratedly, dropping to stare at Peter’s ass. “Sorry, what was I saying?”

“You were agreeing that we’d never date.” Peter said firmly, and shot a web towards the sky, shooting up and out of the alley before Deadpool could say anything else.

“Damn.” He chuckled and scratched at his head. “Spidey playing hard to get.”
*****************
Wade landed with a thump on the roof next to Peter and tossed him a chimi.

“Thank god.” Peter mumbled and shoved his mask up to just above his nose so he could eat. “Thank you so much.”

“No worries.” Wade lifted his own mask to take a bite of his food, and Peter made sure not to look. He didn’t ever look, knowing that if Wade thought for one second that he was staring, the mask would come down and this relaxed moment between them would end.

They were happening more and more– post patrol, both of them starving after a night of fighting crime. Wade usually disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared with food and they would sit and eat together before going their separate ways.

It was nice, for all of Wade’s bluster and bullshit, he actually enjoyed the early morning quiet like this. Both fully in their suits, both still coming down from the high of fighting… just hanging out watching the sun rise.

It was… nice.

And Peter wasn’t going to do anything to spoil it.

“Got you a name tag.” Wade said casually inbetween bites of food.

“What now?” Peter asked, confused.

“Got you a name tag.” Wade reached into the bag next to him and threw a giant handful of white packets in Peter’s face.

“What the–damn it Wade!” Peter pushed them off his legs. “Why are you throwing sugar at—”

Wade started laughing.

“Are you kidding me?” Peter finally asked and Wade laughed harder. “Are you kidding me with this?”

“Aw, come on sugar!” Wade made kissy faces at him and Peter just rolled his eyes.
**********************

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underrated sunny scene: when charlie threatens the landlord with the gun in his pants, then immediately slams the door and starts hyperventilating/gagging while the success music plays

Anything, For You

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,958

Summary: Dean is absolutely, completely, in love with the reader. But of course, something always goes wrong. 

Song: Thinking ‘Bout You - Dua Lipa 

A/N: I know I’ve written a similar concept before, but I got my wisdom teeth out two days ago, and in a drug induced state, I wrote this. Thankfully, my friend Fem re-read it and fixed everything that definitely needed fixing (whoops.) I really hope you guys like this, and I’m begging you, please send in any comments and critiques! Let me know if you want a part two! 

– – – – 

Dean pulled the blanket up over your shoulder, letting it rest just below your chin. You had fallen asleep not twenty minutes into the movie. First your head fell onto his shoulder, then slid down to his arm, then eventually met his thighs.

Gently, he ran his fingers through your hair. Dean knew that you weren’t aware of the full extent of his affections, and that you would probably never would find out. But, he also knew that it did not matter to him whether or not you did. All he ever wanted was to keep you close by and safe. 

“I’m gonna head to bed.” Sam said quietly, stretching as he stood up from the chair.

Dean nodded, “I’ll take Y/N to her room.”

Carefully, he lifted up your sleeping figure and clutched you to his chest as he made his way through the dimly lit hallway, and to your bedroom door.

“Night.” He said, as if you could hear, and placed you under your covers.

His socked feet slid against the floor as he walked to his own room, head in hand. Dean rubbed his eyes before changing into a new t-shirt and boxers.

It couldn’t have been more than two hours when he heard a faint cry through the wall separating your bedrooms. In seconds, he was by your side. Dean watched your face contort from sadness to anguish, then eventually fear.

“Y/N.” He whispered your name, “Hey, hey, wake up.” He pleaded, hands gripping at your shoulders.

“I’m right here.” He shook you gently, praying you would open your eyes quickly.

You woke up finally, reaching up and gripping Dean’s t-shirt. He exhaled with relief as he watched your features relax.

“Sorry.” You whispered, laying back down against your pillow. “I’m-”

“It’s fine. You’re fine.” Dean’s voice was raspy, laced with sleep.

Nights like these were common, almost routine for you and Dean. Sometimes it was you screaming through the night, pulling Dean closer; other times it Dean who clung to your figure as he fought to wake up.

“Thank you.” You finally settled on two simple words, before letting go of Dean. He gripped your hand and stood up from your bed.

“See you in the morning.” He said, and you turned onto your side, watching his figure leave as he shut the door.

When morning finally did come, you took a quick shower and met the brothers in the kitchen for breakfast.

“Anything new?” You asked Sam, who was leaning over the counter with a newspaper in his hand.

“Yeah, actually…” He trailed off, and you raised a brow at him.

Dean shrugged when your eyes met his, asking for an explanation.

You grabbed a piece of toast and buttered it, waiting patiently for Sam to finish the article and elaborate.

“How’d you sleep?” Dean asked suddenly, while taking the seat across from you at the table. Your eyes lifted to meet his.

“The second half of the night was definitely better.” You stated, “Thanks to you.”

“You should seriously consider watching some comedies before bed.” Dean joked, earning a soft smile from you.

You were about to respond when Sam interrupted.

“Guys-” He started, “This has got to be a werewolf.”

Sam placed the newspaper on the table, in between yours and Dean’s plates. His finger was stuck on one paragraph where an eyewitness account was written up.

“This woman described a werewolf kill, perfectly.” Sam looked between the two of you and you nodded, taking a bite of your toast.

“It’s worth checking out.” You stated.

“Where is it?” Dean asked.

Sam looked closer at the paper, “In the area, actually. A couple towns over.”

“Let’s leave in an hour.” Dean decided.

– – – –

Sam had done his research quickly, connecting the werewolf to a man who lived at the address Dean had finally pulled up to. The man might not even know that he is a killer at night. You swallowed thickly, staring at the front door.

“Here.” Dean jammed a handful of silver bullets into your palm, his fingers lingering for longer than they should have.

“Thanks.” You loaded them into your gun.

You grabbed your FBI jacket, and Dean watched as you popped the collar before setting it back down again.

“Let’s go, Agent.” You cracked a smile and tucked your gun into your pants.

Dean landed a curt knock on the door, and a very nice looking man swung the door open.

“Can I help you?” He asked, and you studied his face. He seemed kind. You sighed.

“I’m Agent Walters,” You said, flipping open your credentials.

Dean had grabbed the copy of this false identification, his reading Agent Walters as well.

“I’m her husband, Agent Walters.” Dean said, and you had to stifle a cough.

“Oh, how wonderful it must be to work side by side.” The man stated, opening the door further. “Come in. How can I help?”

While he busied himself with locking the door behind you and Dean, you whispered violently at Dean, asking for an explanation. He passed you his identification card, and you understood the mistake he had made.

“Fuck.” You whispered, and shuffled the card back to Dean.

“So, Mr. Williams,” You began, “There have been neighborhood disturbances as you have probably heard.”

“Yes, it’s been a tough month for this town.” He agreed.

“There has also been a murder, which we are hoping to shine more light onto.” You clasped your hands.

“Are you suggesting I know something?” Williams leaned back in his chair, eyes wide.

“What my wife here is trying to say is,” Dean’s hand met yours, prying your fingers apart and into his own. “We just need to know every detail possible.”

Dean’s attention wavered for a moment. He couldn’t focus on anything else but how perfectly his hand felt holding yours.

“Well, agents, I wish I could help. But actually, lately I’ve had a tough time with my memory. I must be getting older.” He stated, scratching at his head.

You looked at Dean, both of you understanding that Sam’s research was right. The sweet middle-aged man who sat before you, was a stone cold killer at night.

“That’s alright.” Your eyes hit the floor before meeting his, “Thank you.”

“If you think of anything else,” Dean gave him a false business card, “Call us.”

“No problem.” Mr. Williams shut the door, its slam sending chills up your spine.

You followed Dean back to the car.

“Well?” Sam asked from the passenger seat.

“We should check out the house tonight to make sure, but there’s a ninety percent chance it’s him.” You stated.

When the sun finally set, you decided to accompany Dean on the stakeout.

The Impala rested on the other side of the street from Mr. Williams’s home. You watched through the window as he turned on his television, watching a documentary of some sort.

The night air was cold, seeping its way into the car’s interior. You leaned over the seat and grabbed a blanket, draping it around yourself.

You looked over at Dean, his profile illuminated solely by the moonlight.

“Here.” Dean suddenly spoke, his hand reaching to pass you his hot coffee.

“It’s fine.” You smiled, “Thanks, though.”

He shrugged, “You sure?”

When you nodded, he finally took a sip.

You eyes wandered around the small suburban neighborhood. Trees lined the sidewalks, which tucked houses into their own landscapes.

“What?” Dean asked, watching your eyes.

You turned to him, “Imagine living somewhere like this.”

He exhaled and took another sip of his drink, “The bunker has more square footage.” He joked.

You cracked a smile, and nestled yourself deeper into the leather seat.

“Still…” You thought, “A window would be nice.”

Dean’s heart nearly broke at the statement. There were no windows in the bunker, just bricks lining the walls from floor to ceiling.

“Let’s buy a house then.” Dean said. His tone was serious, but you took it as a joke. A laugh bubbled up from your throat. Dean wasn’t one for a picket-fence life, but he’d do it for you. He would do absolutely anything, for you.

“Yeah, we’ll pay a mortgage and everything.” You continued to smile through your sentence.

“If that’s what you want.” Dean stated simply.

You furrowed your brows, slowly realizing he might just be serious. You searched his face for an answer, but a loud crash ripped you from your concentration.

“Call Sam.” Dean tossed you his phone before grabbing his gun.

Sam was right. Williams, in werewolf form, had just broken straight through his large window, and was running towards the woodsy area down the street.

You punched in Sam’s number, asking him to come as backup.

Thirty minutes later, you were deep in the trees foliage, with Sam only a couple yards behind you and Dean.

“Dean.” Sam called forwards.

The eldest Winchester stopped in his tracks, putting out his arm so you would stop as well.

“He’s going to make his way back out to civilization soon enough.” Sam said quietly. “He needs to kill.”

You sighed and looked between both brothers.

“Then, let’s meet him there first.” You suggested. “Beat him to it.”

The three of you walked nearly six blocks before hitting a small city-like town that bordered the one you had just left. Nearly every store was already shut. Light from the streetlamps flooded the streets with a stale yellow that made your stomach churn. You hated hunting at night.

“There.” Dean whispered, motioning with his hand towards a motel.

A large shadow was walking towards the side entrance, you recognized it as the wolf instantly.

“Shit.” You muttered, seeing a woman standing by the same door.

It wasn’t until a large growl sounded that Sam and Dean began sprinting across the street, running as fast as they possibly could.

You caught up quickly, keeping your eyes trained on the innocent woman.

It wasn’t a thought-through move. You hadn’t had to think twice when you saw the wolf pounce forward. Instantly, you dove forward, pushing the woman to the ground.

“Y/N!” Dean shouted.

A heavy weight landed on you. The werewolf’s claws ripped through your arm and your body responded with a blood curdling scream.

Somewhere, you heard the echoes of bullets being fired.

“Dean! Stop!” You heard Sam shout. In a matter of seconds, the wolf was pushed off of your body. Dean had jumped forward and put all of his weight into knocking the monster off. Your head hit the pavement for the second time that night as the wolf’s claws let go.

You fell unconscious while Dean shot at it, killing it with two bullets to the chest.

“What the hell, Dean?!” Sam shouted at his brother. “You could’ve killed yourself like that!”

He ignored his brother, and instead knelt down to your figure. He grabbed his jacket and peeled it off before wrapping it around your bleeding arm.

“Your priority is killing the monster, not yourself!”

“No.” Dean stated, his voice elevating, “Y/N, is my priority!”

Sam’s eyes widened as he stared at his brother.

“Now, help me.” Dean took in a deep breath and began trying to wake you up.

As the blood loss began to slow due to Dean applying pressure, your eyes began to open.

Darkness was the first thing you saw, until the moon came into view. Your back was pressed against the pavement, your head in someone’s hand.

“She’s up.” The voice was muffled. Your initial reaction was to move, to get away from the situation; but, the sudden resurfacing of blinding pain in your arm caused you to groan.

“Come on, Y/N. We gotta go.” Green eyes were staring into your own.

“Who?”

“Your job, gentlemen, is to fight these monsters with bullets, garlic, and holy water. Put a stake through its heart, cut off his head, burn the corpse, scatter the ashes at a crossroads. For further instructions, consult Bram Stoker.” -Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing

But what about an ereri au where Eren follows in his dad’s footsteps and becomes a doctor and starts a non profit clinic and Levi is part of some deep underground mafia and one day he gets banged up and ends up having to go to the clinic because it is the only one that doesn’t require any identification (in order to serve the poor who do not have insurance) only to get seen by Eren Jaeger who is so concerned because ‘wHY DID YOU NOT GO TO THE ER OMG YOU’VE BEEN SHOT’ but Levi’s too concerned with trying to win Eren over with these terrible pickup lines ‘did you fart because you’re blowing me away’ and Eren is just trying to make sure Levi doesn’t bled out and finally Levi is able to be sent home only to return the next day with another injury and Eren just cannot believe because- ‘JESUS CHRIST IS THAT A FUCKING GUN IN YOUR PANTS????’ and Levi can finally use the line: ‘no I’m just happy to see you’ (but spoiler there is really a gun in his pants)