my mommy is such an sjw. she tells me that I shouldn’t eat more than two gummy vitamins per day because it’s “bad for me,” but I know vitamins are good for me! mommy just wants to keep all of them for herself so she can eat them slowly like a mouse… that’s why i ate the whole bottle just now. boy is mommy gonna be surprised when she sees that i cucked her whole candy bottle.
• pushes the shopping cart next to u and lets u put whatever in there
• u ask him if u should buy lucky charms or cinnamon toast crunch and he picks up honey nut cheerios
• “this one”
• u tell him to grab something for late night snacks and he picks up fig newtons
• always buys the store brand rather than name brand bc he doesn’t know the difference
• literally piles protein powders and granola bars and vitamin gummies and omega fish oil into the cart
• buys fruit gummy snacks as a “splurge”
• tells u terrible pick up lines with products u walk past
• “hey…..u make me egg-cited” *wiggles his eyebrows while holding a carton of eggs*
• “just stick to egg-sercise, hoseok”
• insists u get in the cart and he pushes u around bc he wants to show off how cute u guys are to the entire store
• makes u hold all the sugary cereal he’s getting
• “babe - BABE DON’T PUT THE FRUITY PEBBLES BACK”
• is the clingiest piece of shit and will backhug u down the ice cream aisle
• has coupons and buys the most useless shit bc it’s a good deal
• “kihyun we really don’t need 3 toilet brushes-”
• “BUT IT’S BUY 2 GET 1 FREE”
• always makes sure to buy ice cream every time u guys go to the grocery store
• also always grabs 2 free samples for u and for himself, feeds u bc he’s embarrassing
• checks the calorie count for everything
• wants to sleep in the cart but he can’t fit into it
• lets u put stuff into the cart most of the time but always remembers to pick up shrimp
• if ur shorter than him he purposefully asks u to grab things on high shelves just to see u struggle he thinks it’s so funny and cute
• says he’s going to go grab something and he comes back saying he forgot what he was gonna get
• says hi to the babies u guys pass by, will sometimes stop to play with them
• makes songs out of the things u pick up
• “tangerines, yeah i like tangerines almost as much as listerine - speaking of listerine we need to grab some”
• puts his feet on the cart and rides it like a scooter, almost crashes into the produce
• u have to push the cart afterwards
• begs u to let him buy lucky charms, does the most and goes limp on the ground
• “PLeaSe tHE MarSHmALLowS aRe mY hAPpiNeESS”
• “changkyun, people are staring”
• “KRUSTY KRAB IS UNFAIR! (Y/N) IS IN THERE! STANDING AT THE CONCESSION, PLOTTING THEIR OPPRESSIO-”
• “just put the damn cereal in the cart”
(Although, the idea
did come from an Anon. Thanks Anon!)
Summary: Jerome is
snooping through y/n’s drawers one day, and he finds a bottle of what he thinks
are pills. He finds her and begins to tell her how perfect her mind is.
Need to know: Y/n and
Jerome are a couple.
Warnings: Mild language.
When the bed shifts as y/n gets up, Jerome opens one eye, just
enough to peek at her as she shuffles across the room. His eyes open more fully
as he sits up.
“Where ya goin’?” He mutters, his voice still rough from
sleep. Y/n glances over at him, smiling widely. Jerome’s gaze rakes her body, a
smile slipping onto his face. In his sleepy state he can’t comprehend much, so
he laughs softly as he tries to gather his thoughts. “Come back here…lay down
for a while longer, y/n.” He rolls over onto his back, closing his eyes. “We
could snuggle for a whil-” His sentence is cut off by the sound of the door
slamming shut. He lets out a long sigh as he rolls over again, staring
longingly at the door. The sound of another door opening, and then the
showering turning on. He sits up slowly, taking his time as he gets out of bed,
walking over to his dresser. Jerome grabs a plain grey T-shirt and throws it on
quickly, pulling a pair of black sweatpants on over his boxers. He arches his
back, stretching slowly. Jerome stares at the door again, wishing that y/n
would be done with her shower already so he could be near her again.
But, he quickly snaps out of his thoughts as his eyes land
on a small, white bottle half-hidden on her side of the bed, sitting in the
cabinet. He walks over quickly. As he reaches out to grab the cabinet door, his
foot catches on the rug. He tips forward, grabbing at the cabinet’s handle. His
hand slams into and he closes his eyes briefly as he crashes to the ground, his
heart pounding wildly in his chest. His head tilts to the side as his eyes
open, and he gets a sideways view of the small white bottle. It lays on its
side on the floor, the cap half undone, the small, cylindrical pills peeking
out from the darkness of the bottle. Jerome’s gaze widens as he reaches out,
grabbing it angrily.
Just then, y/n bursts into the room, her wet hair hanging
down and dripping all over, wetting the front of her grey tank top. Her gaze
falls down to the scene in her front of her, and she covers her mouth,
attempting to hide her laughter. Jerome stands up quickly.
“What the hell are
these y/n?!” He shouts, shaking the bottle. Some of the small pills fly out of
the bottle and scatter across the carpet. Y/n’s eyes widen slightly.
“Jerome, whatever you’re thinking, it’s not what it looks
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He growls. He
moves forward quickly. “Listen to me kitten; you, you are perfect. But what you’re doing right now, taking these pills…” He
shakes his head. “You’re being like them.
And they are all prisoners. What
everyone else calls sanity, that’s just a prison in their minds. This prison,
it stops you from seeing that you’re just tiny little cogs in a giant, absurd machine! Wake up, y/n! Why would you want to be a cog? What
happened to you? I thought you wanted to be free like me.” Jerome shakes his
head angrily. “To do this to yourself, that’s dumb as hell y/n! You’re perfect the way you are, you’re wonderful. There’s
not a damn thing you need to change about yourself.” He moves forward and sets
the pills on the bedside table. Jerome puts one hand on y/n’s waist, and the
other on her face. He pulls her closer to him and stares down at her, pushing a
strand of her h/c hair out of her face. “You’re wonderful, kitten. You’re the
best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he caresses her face and places a soft
kiss on her nose. “Your mind…” Jerome close his eyes and inhales deeply. “Your
mind is the most beautiful thing about you. Why would you want to change that?
You shouldn’t want to change that, y/n!” He opens his eyes and stares at her. “Promise
me, promise me you’ll stop taking them. If you love me y/n, if you love me promise
me. Promise me you won’t destroy your mind, promise me you won’t just
conform to everyone else.”
“Jerome…” A small laugh escapes y/n’s lips, although she is
trying to be as serious as possible.
“You think this is funny?” Jerome snarls, moving over to the
bed side table quickly and picking up the bottle. “This isn’t funny, kitten, I
“Jerome! Those are vitamins,” she interrupts him, covering
her mouth to suppress her giggles. Jerome’s mouth falls open as he stares at
her in shock.
“No.” He breathes.
“Yes,” y/n laughs
and moves forward, taking one out and popping it in his mouth. A repulsed look
crosses Jerome’s face, and then it slowly shifts to confusion. “Jerome…they’re vitamins.
Gummy vitamins. I could see how you
could mistake them for pills-that is what the look like- but I’m not taking any
sort of medicine like that.” Jerome backs away from her, giving her the stink
eye as he chews the vitamin. “Oh, come on
Jerome, don’t be like that.” She moves forward to hug him and he crosses his
arms, lifts his head up, and turns around, all the while still chewing the
gummy. Y/n moves to stand in front of him, placing her hand on her shoulder. “Jerome…”
He finishes chewing and swallows roughly.
“Who the hell buys
vitamins that look like real medicine?”
“They were pink, and smelled like strawberries.”
“So?” Jerome scoffs,
narrowing his eyes. “I can’t believe you
let me get so worked up. You could’ve said something, y/n. You could’ve told me
“I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” she laughs and
shakes her head. “I am sorry Jerome, but you have to admit: you overreacted.”
Jerome gasps loudly and places a hand over his heart. “Kitten,”
he mumbles, leaning down and kissing her cheek. His facial expression loses all
of his anger from before. He pulls y/n to him, kissing her forehead. “I’m
sorry, kitten.” He mumbles. “I was worried.” She smiles.
“I know, Jerome. I’m not angry.” He stands up straight, and
“Well I’m still bitter that you just let me ramble on.” With
that, he turns around and bounces out the door.
It was, at one point, Sleepover Saturday. Only I forgot to post this.
You let out an annoyed groan and threw your head back onto the couch. “Why don’t you just wrap me up and bubble wrap and super glue my feet to the floor?!” You whined as you looked over at Seungcheol who sat on the opposite side of the couch with an amused expression on his face.
“That’s actually a really good idea.” He laughed, however you were not amused and shot back an angry glare. Lately, your fiancee, Seungcheol had been refusing to let you do anything that would had the slightest chance of you getting hurt. You understood to a certain extent, sure he could be worried if you decided to go skydiving or bungee jumping. But who insists on coming with you for “safety” when all you want to do is drive to the gas station to pick up some toilet paper at four am.
“I can take care of myself, you big nerd. Now, can I plug in the toaster and make some toast or are you worried I’m going to get an electric shock?” Sure, your words were along the joking side, but it still had enough of a punch to get your point across.
“I know I can sometimes get annoying, babe. But I want to protect you. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just care about you so much, it’s embarrassing.” You glared at him again, but this time it had more of a playful tone than anything in it.
“What if I told you I wanted to run away with the circus and learn to walk on a tightrope thirty feet in the air?” You tilted your head to the side, even though it was a joke you could see Seungcheol’s eyes widen slightly.
“I would go into cardiac arrest. That is, right after I build the world’s largest net twenty nine feet in the air, so at the most you could fall one foot.” He watched you put wheat bread in the toaster and pull the lever down. There was always something curious about you.
“What if I told you I wanted to start a drug cartel?”
He half fake gasped, half real gasped and clutched his heart. “Why on earth would you do that?”
“I like the adrenaline.” You stated plainly with a shrug.
“The only drug I would let you sell is those gummy vitamins.”
“Do those even count as a drug?” You thought to yourself, you wondered what you had done to deserve Seungcheol. How did you find someone willing to protect you no matter what? It was amazing really, he really would protect you no matter what. “What if I told you, ‘Let’s have a baby.’” You looked over at him with a curious expression.
“Don’t mess with me like that.” He mumbled, he had always talked about having a baby, but had never felt like it was the right time.
“Would you protect them too?” You didn’t need to hear an answer. Of course, of course, of course.
Since we are talking about recovery and coping stuff, I thought I’d throw some stuff out there that helped me. And I’m not saying all of this stuff will work for anyone, but maybe it will, so if you feel up to it, you might try it if you think it’ll help.
-The big thing for me is that you don’t have to change your whole lifestyle all at once. One example is this: a lot of people hear “try eating healthy” and they think “i have to cut out all sugar and carbs and eat only organic salads for the rest of my life” and stuff, but you don’t!! Even the smallest of changes can help. Some smaller healthy things I used to do (and still do) are
—When you make ramen, when the noodles are boiling, throw in an egg or two, and some frozen vegetables. it will cook with the noodles with no extra effort on your part, and it’s really good.
—You don’t have to stop eating when you’re bored but you can swap out the bored-eating foods for carrots or nuts or whatever. (If it’s not overwhelming, I really love apples in peanut butter.)
—Add some spinach to that sandwich. Obviously this won’t work for all sandwiches but I like to add it to my tuna sandwiches and like, sandwiches with lunch meat (when I eat those.) It only takes a couple seconds and I actually like the taste, it adds some crunch but not in a bad way. (I’m really sensitive to texture with my food.)
–For me, it was also really important to not deprive myself. I’ve struggled with EDs (still do) so it was and is really important for me to not get into this mindset of “i’m not allowed to eat this” or “you don’t need this.” I don’t need this blueberry donut, but it makes me happy. It’s okay. Don’t focus on cutting junk food out; focus on working healthy things in.
-If you’re having a day when you do have more energy than usual? Run with it! It can be hard when you’re used to like…not doing stuff, even when you have the energy, it’s hard to break the habit. But it’s okay if you only do small stuff. Do a load of laundry, or take a shower, or take a walk if you find that that helps you.
-Identify things that make you unhappy and, if possible, stop doing them. Honestly I didn’t really and truly start healing until I stopped going to church with my parents, because no matter what progress I made, it would just be zapped away when I went to church. Any confidence I built, any small joys I found, just disappeared. If there’s something you do that you don’t have to do and makes you miserable…don’t do it.
-If your illness gets worse when you go outside, or are around people, you can take it slow and build up a tolerance. I used to get really bad anxiety when I went out and it would just drain all my energy. You can choose places that give you some relative privacy/solitude, are easy to get to, and leave when it gets bad. Spend a half hour at a local park. Or fifteen minutes, or five. Whatever you can do.
I used to go to the library because I was living with my sister and we had no wifi. I’d hang out in the corner on my own, and it really was the perfect way to slowly acclimate myself. I was doing the same shit I would’ve been doing if I stayed home, it was quiet, I was given space (most of the time), but I was out of the house and there was sunshine coming from the windows.
-If it’s warm, you can go outside and lay in the sun. If not having something to do makes you anxious, take a book or a coloring book. I used to lay out in the sun with my dog for a few minutes each day and it really did help.
-Try to remember, if you can, times that you were happy, or like, less sad. Try to recreate those circumstances, if possible. One thing about MI is that it makes it really hard to keep track of the correlation between environment and emotions, because most of the time you’re just fucked up for no reason. But environmental influences can still be things, and keeping track of them can really help. (I guess this is the flip side to “don’t do things that make you miserable.” DO do things that make you less miserable.)
-One thing that helps me with executive dysfunction is to just take it one step at a time. Don’t think about what you’re doing as “getting dressed.” Just think about the first thing you need to do. Go get a shirt. Okay, good. Put the shirt on. Good. Find some pants. Good. Put the pants on. Good. Etc.
I’m autistic so this is something I still do with myself all the time, and it’s a method I taught my nephew, who is also autistic. One time I was at their house and my sister told him to clean the bathroom and he went in there and he just like. Stood there, and I was like, “okay, I think I know what’s going on.” So I went in and asked if I could help, and I walked him through it. “Okay, put away the toothpaste. Good. Now put away the toothbrushes. Good.” According to my sister he still uses this method.
-Gummy vitamins are good because I wake up, I see the gummy vitamin bottle, I’m like “sweet, gummy vitamins!” and then I remember I also have to take my meds and it’s very helpful.
-If you have trouble talking to your therapist or psychiatrist, write down the stuff you want to say beforehand, and then let them read it when you get there. That’s the only way I finally got diagnosed with bipolar disorder; I could never really talk or be honest with my psychs so I just lied and said I was okay, but finally I wrote down everything and handed it to my psych and when she read it and didn’t immediately laugh at me or throw me out it was a lot easier to answer her questions. I was diagnosed probably like a couple minutes later.
Like I said, I can’t promise this will work for everyone. It probably won’t. But if you’re up to it, and you don’t think it’ll hurt, it might be worth a shot. That’s all.