i get bored of identity politics that throw white people under the bus when done in this way that assumes that i am supposed trust any queer or trans person of color just because we share a 5-letter acronym
especially if they are thin
especially when whiteness is no less a gulf to cross when building relationships than thinness is
and when i can count on one hand the number of white people in my life who actively interrogate what their whiteness means for our relationship, who have conversations with me about it, who take the initiative to apologize when they feel they have fucked up, even if i don’t
and that’s still more qtpoc than i can count who take this initative about their thinness, who seem to consider or ask what their thinness means for them within and outside of our relationship, and fewer when i think about situations where i didn’t bring it up
i say this not to forgive or give leniency to white people, but to ask queer and trans people of color what power differentials there are within our communities, and what we are reproducing while simultaneously erasing. and not just when it comes to fatness, but to ableism, transmisogyny, anti-Blackness, classism, misogyny, citizenship status, and all other systems of power we are prone to being seduced by.
we have to do better if we are going to trust each other. we have to do better if we are going to build.