guitar on a table

Harry Styles Bridges Past and Present at Stirring Tour Kickoff Show

Outside San Francisco’s Masonic, a modest but modern venue nestled in the city’s upscale Nob Hill neighborhood, thousands of Harry Styles fans had spent hours – some, even days – waiting on the steep sidewalks. The mob would feel smaller inside the venue, during a show that was the most intimate many of them had ever seen the boy-band heartthrob play.

It was more than the screams that made Styles’ first official tour date as a solo artist feel like he was playing to a football stadium rather than a theater. At 23 years old and with only 10 songs to his name, Styles has the charm, presence and feistiness of a veteran rocker twice his age, strutting and strumming across the stage with a delicate power that makes him seem as accessible as he is otherworldly.

Styles and his carefully curated band took the stage Tuesday night after Muna, a California electro-pop trio that brought the house down with a one-two punch of Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen” and their own “I Know a Place.” Lead singer Katie Gavin set the tone for the night, building upon the joyous mood of the crowd. “Harry has built his career, his essence, on kindness,” she earnestly said to deafening screams.

After a brief delay due to a fire alarm that dared to shut the whole night down, Styles finally made his grand entrance to a loop of the “Ever Since New York” harmonies, already intoxicating on his self-titled debut album but nearly hypnotic as the lights dimmed to reveal his guitar-holding silhouette on the pink and floral curtain that was hung after Muna left the stage. Here, we were introduced to Harry’s first persona of the night: folk troubadour. From “New York” on, he displayed his most tender, rootsy side, performing more album ballad cuts like “Two Ghosts” and “Sweet Creature” – the latter met with a sea of fan-made pink hearts that were held up throughout the song. Much earlier than anticipated, Styles reminded everyone exactly where he came from, offering a tender take on the anthemic One Direction fan favorite “Stockholm Syndrome.”

Following “Sweet Creature,” Styles disposed of his floral jacket – part of a matching, two-piece floral suit – and launched into Act II: raucous rocker. A Jagger-ian strut propelled his body across the stage during “Only Angel,” and he gyrated to the sexy “Woman.” During that same track, a fan threw a rainbow flag on stage, and in direct opposition to the song’s heteronormative storyline, he subversively twirled around with it before attaching it to his microphone where it remained for the rest of the main set.

By this point, Styles had completely loosened up, shedding the semi-serious (possibly even nervous) mode of his set’s first half. He began to perform a few covers, a twist that was as crowd-pleasing as it was brilliant. He first tackled “Just a Little Bit of Your Heart,” a piano ballad he co-wrote that Ariana Grande sung on her 2014 album My Everything. He turned Grande’s melodrama on its head, remaking the tearjerker as a down-and-dirty country-rock romp. He did the same with One Direction’s massive, unmistakable breakout hit “What Makes You Beautiful,” a bold choice for an artist setting out to forge his own path.

But Styles has proven time and time again that to be a successful solo artist, you don’t necessarily have to let go or even erase your past. As soon as “WMYB” ended, the band launched into the gritty, glammy “Kiwi” which got an even bigger rise from the crowd than the 1D classic did.

Once the song wrapped, Styles marched off the stage with the rainbow flag as the set was re-arranged and his jacket was revived for the “encore.” It was here that he unveiled his third act and his final persona: the subtle superstar. The show’s final 15 minutes featured a tight trio of tracks, beginning with “From the Dining Table,” a gorgeous, simple guitar tune featured only Styles and primary collaborator Mitch Rowland on guitar. Next, he launched into an incredible take on Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain” as he celebrated and highlighted the talented quartet of musicians he culled together for his touring band. He could’ve ended the show with the classic cover and it would’ve felt completely natural, charming and on-brand, but of course he had an appropriately epic goodbye up his sleeve with “Sign of the Times,” the single that officially launched his solo career. Styles’ live version of the anthemic, Queen-inspired, nearly six-minute opus was stirring and triumphant as bright lights bathed him and his fans. The singer looked positively radiant as he shared in this moment, one that rightfully belonged to him, with every person in the room, whether physically present or being FaceTimed, Periscoped or live-texted in.

“You are the best friends any person could ever ask for,” he offered sincerely, much earlier in the night. Blurring the lines of fans and friends is not typical rock star behavior, but then again, Harry Styles isn’t shaping up to be your typical rock star.

melodrama through the eyes of a (fellow) synaesthete

hello everyone! just like lorde herself, i have a strong case of synaesthesia (I get colour visions, but also tastes and scents as well), so this is my attempt to review the masterpiece that is melodrama through my synaesthetical experiences

let’s go

green light: car air freshener, heated highway and the visions you get when you drive in heat (a la mirages), blackberry-scented cheap shower gel, a pistachio green silk scarf, old school adidas kicks, lemon juice drops on fresh summer salad, beige satin, old black cars (a la classic cadillacs and jaguars), maple syrup, the heat of cairo at around 11 am

sober: ripe honeydew, the smell of guitar wood varnish, red satin ribbons, smudged glass coffee tables, spilled lemonade on said tables, peach vodka, the feel of white plaster in old museums where security guards are very strict, cough syrup (both the colour and the flavour), artificial smell of mint, mint gum, velvet red carpeting in old and badly aired town halls, the humidity of rainforest

homemade dynamite: 4 am sunrise straight after a storm with torn dark grey, nearly black clouds being ripped, smell of gasoline, deep puddles in cracked pavement, dimmed street lights about to go out, magenta, white musk perfume from the body shop, deep indigo of the nearly sunrise of mid may, that walk home from a rowdy night out when everyone is more or less sobered up, but not sober enough to feel shy yet, still drunk enough to be honest with affection and cursing and slightly slurred speech

the louvre: bamboo blinds, bamboo shoots, bonsai trees, flowing honey, varnished birchwood, sunlit old halls in ugly grey soviet buildings, silver hellium-filled balloons, white shiny doors between a party-filled room and a closet where hook-ups and one-night stands take place, old oil paint, the sunny, lemon yellow butterflies, muddly skies of july, edelflower syrup in a glass of white wine, edelflower flower crowns, an expensive pool in a mansion-like house in hollywood hills, the eerie comfort and anxiety of the opening credits of twin peaks

liability: massive bouquets of lily of the valley, white lace curtains knitted by a grandmother, greyness of a sunday in a village on a last warm october day, a single light in an office on a late night in a massive skyscraper, dried flowers, drops of nosebleed on a crystal clean white sink, grey that turns into pastel lilac, the feeling of ripped paper

hard feelings/loveless: faint sunrise shining through the windows of a manhattan apartment in a skyscraper, all shades of orange spilling onto a hi-tec kitchen, cointreau liqueur, sunny warm nights on ocean beach, lukewarm bathtubs when the bath foam has fizzled, bonfires and burned marshmallows, just the beginning of feeling buzzed (like a glass of wine in), tender shades of yellow, rustiness of old heavy doors into a basement, scaffolding sounds, first sunniest days of spring after a heavy winter, sunset in the ocean, heavy fluffy sweaters / neon diner signs, anime eyes, porcelain dolls, peach-flavoured bubblegum, glass bowls

sober ii (melodrama): colour of crimson, heavy red velvet couches, smudged matte red lipstick, glass shards, ripped pearl necklaces and scattered pearls on sticky floor, red limelight, stilettos, tight black bodysuits, smoky-eyed tall models in revealing tight and latex dresses, marble furniture with golden decor, fistfights during a party, ripped suits and thrown ties and unbuttoned white shirts on boys with wealthy fathers

writer in the dark: light parakeet green, whitewashed starched tablecloths that crunch, old wooden tables, rusty cages for canaries, Advocat liqueur, big pearl necklaces on black dresses, big sunglasses (a la Audrey’s in Breakfast at Tiffany’s), sunny Sunday mornings on a patio with a cup of fancy tea, sunday clothes, white churches in greece, silver tears and crying in the backseat after a breakup, wilted flowers in a vase with dirty water

supercut: light green and orange, Love Is bubblegum, peaches, apricots, mint, Mojitos, fairy lights above people at a rooftop party, roadtrip one takes after a breakup with all thier belongings, flavoured water that doesn’t quench thirst, sparkling water with lemon and ice cubes, worn down picnic blankets, fancy dresses girls wear to the entrance into a nightclub, folding chairs, chilled champagne

liability (reprise): cold winter wind of february, the feeling on the tip of the tongue from scolding hot tea, big white rooms in museums, light green, light smoke of e-cigarette that smells like peppermint, the smell of sunscreen, the stillness of a swimming pool at noon in heat

perfect places: red wine, swinging chandeliers, red plastic cups, glass grand pianos, the last summer party in august, that warm feeling at the end of the party where everyone’s buzzed and affectionate and there’s a lot of kissing and hugging and swinging, big fake golden earrings, summer fruits, fancy hotels and luxurious lifts/elevators, skinny dipping, black velvet dresses that touch the floor, uncontrollable laughing in comfy sweaters

{Special} College!AU Taeil
  • major: neuroscience 
  • minor: n/a
  • clubs: astronomy research club, brain games club, math-olympiad club, and every now and then he plays guitar in a friend’s on campus band  
  • sports: tried out for the table-tennis club but swung so hard the paddle flew out of his hand and smacked the coach in the face and taeil kinda just,,,,didn’t say anything,,,just kinda,,,,slipped away
  • is extremely intelligent and is considered to be in the top of his class for his graduating year 
  • has an extreme knack for any kind of science and math, can do equations in his sleep, and wrote a paper on neuropharmacology just for the fun of it!
  • that paper was published by a well known science journal and when taeil found out because taeyong came over to congratulate him, taeil smiled and got up to shake taeyongs hand,,,,,,
  • only to fall over instantly from shock without a word ahksfgds
  • although he’s got the best grades and an immense amount of knowledge, he never shows it off 
  • people didn’t even know he graduated a year early from seoul science high school until someone in his lab went “we’re the same age, you don’t have to speak formally to me!” but taeil was like oh no im a year younger
  • the whole class turned to look at him and he was just like sitting there,,,,unblinkingly oblivious to the fact that everyone in the room was like not only is he a genius,,,,but he’s basically a kid genius what the fu-
  • his dorm is really simple and organized, he only really has his guitar and his textbooks
  • ten and johnny are always pestering him into being more fun, more open with his interests
  • but bringing up the workings of the human brain on the way to the movies with friends doesn’t really seem like something taeil thinks he should do
  • so he’s kind of on the quiet side,,,,,,,sicheng always nudges taeyong and asks what taeil is thinking
  • because he just sits in the computer lab or on the quad or in study hall with a book open and the same expression on his face
  • and taeyong is like “it takes years to learn the language of taeil’s face. oh, did you see him just flinch - that means he’s hungry.”
  • but one thing about him that everyone knows is he has a habit of being ,,,,, a bit dangerous
  • like if someone annoys him for too long he swats at them, pinches them, and sometimes he doesn’t know his own strength
  • which is why doyoung nicknamed him “moon cat” because like a cat, he’ll paw at you if you annoy him
  • taeil doesn’t think he’s anything like a cat, but he does like them so he lets doyoung get away with it
  • when yuta jokingly called him an old shrew – well lets just say yuta didn’t get away clean with that one
  • people don’t know this about him but he likes to play guitar,,,,,,but not only acoustic guitar,,,,,,if he gets the chance he’ll play electric or even bass 
  • and im not saying im imagining taeil in his lab coat, goggles on, headbanging and jumping up and down with an electric guitar in his hands
  • i mean who am i kidding that’s exaCTLy what im saying and what i want to see
  • taeil also likes bad comedy. his classmates think he’s the next big scientist going to graduate and go teach abroad at yale or something
  • but little do they know that if someone as much as trips and lands on their face or sends taeil a really shitty sonic meme
  • taeil will LOSE IT 
  • and that he himself can be really funny without even trying like that one time he choked on an ice cube and taeyong was like oh he’s playing jokes again and taeil was like the only reason i didn’t die is because it melted i hate you
  • and everyone was like LOL he’s so funny,,,,,,,,and taeil was just like what if i runaway and live solely off dirt in the mountains,,,,you will all Regret
  • but anyway,,,,,,,you’ve known taeil since you were young,,,,,,,you were there to see him get into the high school of his dreams, realize his talents in science, and just become this well rounded,,,,,amazing person
  • and you admit it,,,he’s always been someone you looked up to
  • even after you got distant and ended up majoring in two different fields, when you’d see each other on campus there was always a warmth in his smile and greeting
  • even if it was in passing,,,,,,
  • but you hadn’t had a class with him since you both entered college,,,,,so it was to your utter most shock when you saw taeil in your first class this fall semester
  • and of all the classes,,,,you looked down at your schedule,,,,,,,this was dance 237,,,,,,,, “ballroom dance technique”
  • you backtracked, looking at the number outside the room - this was definitely the number on your schedule and the teacher that passed by you to come inside was most definitely a dance department teacher
  • ,,,,,,,,,was taeil in the right place???
  • quickly, you hurry over and taeil who had set his bag down and was sitting criss-cross on his phone reading an article on the solar eclipse almost knocks over when you stop short in front of him and go
  • “let me see your schedule”
  • looking up,,,,,he stares at you for a solid minute and then goes “why?”
  • and you point behind you and you’re like “taeil,,,does this look like a lab?”
  • he moves his head a bit and takes in the empty room, there aren’t even desks or a board and the floor is strangely lacquered 
  • he looks at you and goes “no, it doesn’t.”
  • and in your head you’re like he’s a genius he probably can tell we’re in a practice room for the dance majors,,,,,,right
  • but taeil still doesn’t budge or act  surprised he just stares back at you
  • and you finally squat down and show him your own schedule
  • “this is dance 237, are you taking ballroom as an elective?”
  • taeil’s eyebrows furrow and he takes your schedule, pulling out his own from his pocket and comparing the two,,,
  • the numbers on the room are the same,,,,so is the time block
  • but on his it says “neuro 304: structure of the nervous system” 
  • you both look at each other and stand up, you urge taeil to go tell the teacher but before you can the room fills up and the teacher begins the usual welcome to this class speech
  • she finishes, only to start calling names and you answer when you hear yours but,,,,,then a couple of names later she calls out ‘moon taeil’
  • taeil raises a hand,,,,but doesn’t say anything
  • you shoot him a look from the side and whisper “tell her after class”,,,,,,but taeil just clams up and doesn’t move 
  • afterwords, you walk with him out into the hall,,,,you tell him that if anything he should find another class to transfer into fast before the seats get taken up 
  • taeil nods,,,but the grim expression on his face makes you nervous
  • the rest of the week goes by fast, you’ve pilled up the courses this semester and you don’t see taeil in any other of your classes
  • but when you find yourself outside of dance 237 the following tuesday for your second class,,,,,taeil is also there
  • “you didn’t drop???”
  • the surprise in your voice is apparent and taeil sighs,,,,,he mumbles that all the seats in any other class fitting his schedule were taken - even creative poetry which yuta had suggested he take 
  • you frown and ask if it’s really worth it to take this class just for the credit and taeil kind of shifts and goes “i don’t want to have to pay the liability fee”
  • you nod,,,,,and watch as everyone piles into the room for the first official lesson
  • out of your bag, you pull out the shoes that the teacher specified you bring and taeil gives you a quizzical look
  • “you ,,,, can’t wear sneakers for ballroom dance”
  • you whisper and taeil looks down at his worn out nikes with a small sigh “oh,,,,,,,”
  • you giggle and think,,,,he’s the schools most sought after graduate and he forgets that ballroom dancing requires heeled shoes,,,,,,
  • the teacher makes note and taeil stammers out that he’s never taken a dance class before he doesn’t know
  • she cuts him slack but the other dance majors all side eye him as he looks to you with an embarrassed puppy like smile
  • and after class he asks “can i get them off amazon?”
  • you laugh into your palm, but nod because yes you can get dancing shoes off amazon genius moon taeil
  • the first dance you have to learn is the waltz, you and taeil aren’t partnered together but the entire class consists of the teacher hovering over taeil’s pair
  • straightening his shoulders, telling him to count in his head, his partner yelping when he accidentally steps on their foot
  • the teacher nicknames him her “semester project” saying she’ll make him a star dancer in no time
  • you hear taeil murmur that he’d probably faster graduate med-school then he would becoming a ‘star’
  • but ,,,, no matter what ,,,,,, he never quits??? he shows up to class, even proudly shows off to you the shoes he got online
  • though when they arrived, ten came barreling into taeil’s dorm - awe-stricken because taeIL YOURE GOING TO D A N CE and taeil had just shrugged
  • because “it’s not like it’s the end of the world-”
  • ten: “it’s the end of MY WORLD, dancing king moon taeil is going to steal my SPOTLIGHT!!!!!”
  • taeil: ,,,,,,,,,,aren’t you a modern dance major,,,,,,,,,this is for ballroom
  • ten: o h
  • but as you and taeil see more of each other in class,,,,even if it’s this one class and it happened by crazy coincidence,,, you can’t help but remember the fond memories of knowing him as a kid
  • the drive and passion he has for something,,,,and wanting to get it done till it’s perfect is still very much there in his personality
  • and he proves it when after class one afternoon he asks if you’re free for the rest of the day
  • you don’t want to admit it, but your heart almost beats out of your chest and you shyly answer that you are
  • ,,,,,,,,,,,but it isn’t a date or anything taeil just asks if you can stay behind him in the room and help him practice
  • “my partner keeps getting irritated,,,,and i don’t have anywhere or anyone to practice with.”
  • you nod in understanding and slip your shoes back on as you stand in front of taeil,,,,the two of you all alone in the room
  • he seems to hesitate putting his arms around you,,,,,you motion that it’s ok,,,,although there’s heat creeping up into your face as well
  • but you get into position and slowly you start to count out the steps 
  • after a while you stop and taeil gives you a look of concern
  • you smile a bit and explain that he has to lead,,,, he’s at least got the basics down but he should try counting off now
  • taeil seems worried,,,,the way the corners of his mouth twitch and his eyes sort of dart from your hand to your waist 
  • but you give him a word of encouragement and he says he’ll try it
  • it goes well,,,,,taeil is still sort of robotic with his movements and every now and then he skips over steps
  • but it’s not super bad or anything
  • you clap a little when you’re done and ask if you should try it with music,,,,taeil agrees but walks over to get some water from his bag
  • drinking it, he stops and offers some of it to you
  • you take the bottle, but before taking a drink you stare at it and giggle
  • “taeil, do you remember when we were kids in the same neighborhood?”
  • taeil takes a moment to remember but he nods,,,,,you don’t think he has the same memory as you but you tell him
  • “you’d always share your snacks with me and the other kids, i remember because there was a time i skipped lunch and was hungry and you were there,,,,,,,”
  • taeil brings his fingers up to his lip,,,,,you feel instantly tacky for bringing it up but he goes “i remember,,,,,,you always asked me for anything strawberry flavored i had.”
  • almost catching your breath,,,,you can’t believe it,,,,such a small detail and he’d remembered it so long,,,,
  • taeil is standing there,,,,,,,not doing anything different than normal,,,,,looking the same mixture between incredibly handsome and just a tad splash of awkward in the way you’d always seen him before
  • but with the sunlight coming through the windows casting shadows on the floor and the unfamiliar quietness on campus
  • he,,,,,,,,looks like someone from your dreams,,,,,, someone your heart can’t handle
  • so when he says something about starting the music you pretend you have to rush to catch up with a study group
  • it’s so sudden, even taeil’s shock is apparent as you grab your bag and blubber out a bunch of excuses
  • turning so fast that you almost walk straight into the door
  • taeil shouts that you shouldn’t run, not with your dancing shoes still on
  • but you’re too far down the hall to hear him and when you’re safely out of the building you feel something like swelling in your chest
  • he remembers ,,,,,,,,, he didn’t forget ,,,,,,,,,,,, you thought he would but he didn’t,,,,,,,,,,
  • the voice in your mind that has always known how you felt about taeil starts getting louder 
  • you thought he was just your role model,,,,your idol,,,,,,,,,,,the kind of person who inspires you to be better 
  • but it turned out that’s all just synonymous to being in love with him
  • but ,,,, you can’t tell him,,,,,,,,, it’d taken you so long to start getting to know him better after missing those years through high school that you couldn’t give up the chance - even of just being his friend
  • yet,,,, you have to protect your heart,,,,,, so as weeks continued on
  • you’d greet taeil warmly,,,but you kept your distance. you didn’t stay extra to practice with him,,,,or laugh at his hushed whispers about how annoying that one kid in the front is,,,,,,
  • you could feel your relationship with him reverting back to that of acquaintances,,,,but what could you do
  •  until it was a couple days before the last recital in front of the class and a couple of students were getting take out in the same restaurant as you off-campus and you heard one go
  • “you know what’s funny, i was trying to find a classroom to study in and i open the door and guess what i see?”
  • their friends perks up and asks what
  • “moon taeil,,,,,,,,the science genius,,,,practicing all by himself!!! all the desks were pushed back and he was spinning all over the place,,,dancing?? i almost laughed out loud !!”
  • “dancing? isn’t he a neuroscience major?”
  • “i know, i wonder if it’s his secret hobby!”
  • you think for a second that it’s not true,,,,,,taeil has a partner he can practice with there’s no way he would do it alone,,,,,,after all like they had said this wasn’t even his major,,,,,,
  • but before you could order your food, you turned and went out 
  • returning to the campus you knew there were probably still evening classes but you searched through every room in the science hall building
  • peeking through windows and asking if anyone had seen taeil
  • you found him,,,,,,just like those students had said 
  • in an empty classroom, the desks moved up to the walls and the sound of the song you’d been using in class wafting through the small open space
  • in which taeil stood,,,,arms up and around his invisible partner, counting steps out
  • he couldn’t see you,,,,not even when turning around,,,,his concentration was zeroed in and he,,,,,,,
  • he looked so cute talking to himself like that ,,,, that it made you want to stand and watch some more
  • but at some point you cleared your throat,,,,taeil looked over and that embarrassed puppy smile came back
  • the one that makes your heart flutter and your urge to kiss him go up by ten thousand
  • “oh,,,, how much did you see?”
  • “a good bit.”
  • “,,,,,,,,,,,i was going to ask ten to be my partner but i decided i didn’t want the nagging that comes with it”
  • you laugh,,,,moving past the desk to get over to taeil
  • he helps you buy pulling some aside and you set your bag down
  • “i don’t have my ballroom shoes, but i can still help you if you want?”
  • taeil looks like you’ve just offered him money,,,,he nods and you two spend a good two hours going over the steps 
  • only to leave the room when it’s dark out and the last classes are finishing up
  • taeil offers you some of his water as you leave but you say you’re going to buy something anyway at the vending machines
  • “strawberry milk?”
  • you look at him,,,,,,,,,,, “how do you kno-”
  • “i told you i remembered”
  • you bite your lip,,,, looking to the ground until you can gather enough courage
  • “about that, im sorry i freaked out last time. i think,,,, it’s just,,,,this is so embarrassing but you’ve always been someone above me,,,,,,that i was just shocked you didn’t forget something so small,,,”
  • taeil doesn’t reply and you feel like you’ve ruined it again
  • not until he reaches out,,, hand on the side of your cheek and you feel your heart jolt
  • “you know something,,,,,,,this is taking too long”
  • you don’t understand what he means and so taeil leans down to press his lips to yours
  • it’s ,,,,,,, shy but it’s meaningful and when he pulls back he adds
  • “i remember you being less oblivious as a kid, but i guess people change”
  • you touch your lips,,,,,in shock and amazement,,,,
  • you’re not sure what he’s talking about,,,,,,,,,,does that mean he’s liked you too????? but since when??? why???? you have 29342 questions
  • but taeil just kisses you again and this time you let your eyes flutter shut and you give in to the feeling
  • and when he walks you to your dorm,,,,you look at him kind of panicked and he asks what it is but you just say that it feels too much like a dream for this to be real
  • he laughs and goes “it’s real, you’ll know when i see you tomorrow for practice and also maybe a date?”
  • you agree,,,,,going into your room with a look like you’re over the moon but you’re not over the moon you’re very much in love with the moon that moon is MOON TAEIL
  • practice goes as usual and taeil is pretty stable with the dance now,,,,but afterwords you and taeil go for a picnic near the han river
  • and the lights are all on since it’s getting dark,,, the river is illuminated and the city looks so pretty
  • that you just have to take pictures and you don’t notice but taeil watches you warmly,,,,,finding every expression you make so damn cute he could EXPLODE
  • you guys walk along the edge and there’s so many couples out 
  • but seeing all the pda,,,,from hand holding to cute nickname calling to stolen kisses makes you get all flustered
  • but taeil,,,,,has always been straightforward when he wants something so he holds out his hand and goes “it’s here if you want it.”
  • carefully you put your hand in his and he laces your fingers
  • you don’t talk much but it doesn’t matter,,,, it’s peaceful and it’s perfect
  • and taeil kisses like a freaking GOD but he also finds it really cute that you insist you guys at least hide behind a fake tree or go into a corner alleyway 
  • and at some point he asks you to put your hands around his neck which you get nervous about but he just says against your skin that he wants to feel you close,,,,,,
  • he’s wanted to hold you like this for so long
  • did i mention taeil is romantic without even trying like he doesn’t know that half the things he says are super embarrassing and make your heart d i e but you LOVE IT
  • the dance recital is where everyone finds out you and taeil are a thing because no matter how “quiet” you wanted to keep it ,,,,
  • it’s obvious 
  • the way taeil inches forward in his seat when it’s you and your partners turn,,,, the way he smiles – a smile so rare taeyong claims he’s only seen it once before – and how after he goes,,,,and doesn’t mess up the person he goes to first is you
  • and he pulls you into his arms,,,,you mumble against his ear that this is too much!!! but he says that it’s not,,,, he’s happy you were there to help him
  • and also after this class is over he’s never taking dance again because oh my god that was embarrassing
  • you tell him he did fine,,,but as you find out the recital was open for anyone to view and people came oh People (nct) came
  • and Someone (johnny) record the whole thing and won’t let taeil live it down
  • but,,,,,,,,,,most of all nct won’t let him live down the fact that he’s daTING YOU 
  • no seriously when you were both sitting on the grass outside,,, taeil’s hand on your leg as he explained to you a part of his homework
  • doyoung and sicheng walked by and doyoung literally went “I SEE THAT HAND MOON TAEIL WATCH THAT HAND !!!!!!!!”
  • you had to curl up into a ball and taeil just grinded his teeth and doyoung was like ok i might get killed tonight if i do you know who did it sicheng
  • sicheng: i didn’t see anything
  • even though he’s smart, talented, and knows about things you’ve never even heard of ,,,, ,taeil is a simple boyfriend
  • whose ideal time spend together is just enjoying each others company,,,,,, no matter where you go or what you see
  • taeil just explains that loving you is easy,,,he likes that he doesn’t have to think about it or second guess his emotions he sees you and that’s enough for him
  • but you guys do get cute don’t get me wrong,,,,, going to the beach together and having taeil play his guitar in the sand,,,,, study dates at his or your dorm where you’re sitting between his legs with your laptop while he’s reading through his textbook,,,,, going to those board game cafes with taeyong and yuta and beating them in everY game,,,,,,running through the rain to get to the supermarket in the city and without even asking him taeil puts a carton of strawberry milk in the cart because he knows you like it,,,,,
  • it’s the small, little things you do together with him and every moment of it is full of love and care
  • taeil sometimes has sarcastic comments about his friends that send you into spiraling laughter,,,, even though you tell him to be nice
  • taeil just shrugs and goes “i can’t be nice if johnny’s haircut makes him look like a dog that’s just been through a washing machine”
  • he is unapologetically hilarious,,,,,, at the expense of his friends LOL
  • but also mark tried to ‘scare’ you once during a halloween party and taeil chased him through the entire building like twice difkldjsg
  • you and taeil were once trying to bake something for sicheng’s birthday but it ended up with you guys turning on some music and you basically urging taeil to dance with you 
  • and after some crazy moves a slow song came on and you were like “shall we see if you remember the waltz?” taeil had joked that of course he did, he was going to be a neurosciencetist his memory is great
  • but of course it had been a mess and you two laughed and at some point taeil just picked you up and spun you around in his arms and was like there that’s the whole dance LOL
  • ten sent you a video of taeil sleepwalking and mumbling your name and was like your bf is scary :/ come pick him up i think he’s HAUNTED
  • taeil wore glasses once when you were picking him up from lab and you almost died it was the cutest thing you took like 50 pics of him and he was like it’s not that gre-
  • and you were like NO its the best the BEST MOON TAEIL
  • you guys don’t do couple items but taeil’s entire phone is full of your selfies that you send in text and yeah the folder is called something corny and sweet 
  • like most people don’t think he’s funny,,,,,they also think he’s probably stuck up because of his good grades and genius
  • but he’s humble,,,, and really caring and even when people least expect it he does his best to help others out 
  • like he’ll piggyback you back to campus if you as much as sprain your ankle 
  • he really likes it when you sing,,, even if you can’t,,,,,just like when you mouth the words along to songs you like and he always tells you to keep going if you stop 
  • and you’re like taeil ,,,,, and he’s like “your voice is calming.”
  • falls asleep on late night facetimes 100%
  • you guys send memes to each other even though people are like those memes are old you two are like whatever we’ll be old and have fun together
  • it takes a couple of tries and some kisses to get him to pose for couple pics,,,, and he has the saME expression in all of them so you have to tickle him for a reaction or something and he’s just like :^| and you’re like taeil,,,,,,,light of my life,,,,,,,please smile and he’s like baby i am smiling (he’s not)
  • but if you pout he does,,,,honestly if you pout he’ll do a n y t h i n g
  • you were once over at his dorm, showing him something on your phone and taeil was like “closer, come closer i can’t see” and so you had climbed onto his bed to show him and he’d just
  • wrapped his arms around you,,, your phone slipping onto the sheets and he’d just kisses you so,,,,,passionately that you’d literally not been able to breathe for a second
  • and taeil is always,,,,,like i said,,,, straightforward he asked you if you’d be ok with him touching you,,,,ok with him taking it further 
  • he had whispered that he would want to take care of you but only if you wanted that too
  • and you’d hidden your face in your hands,,,,but said yes because,,,,if there was anyone in the world who could make you feel good it was him
  • and you had not wanted to leave,,,being tangled up with him and just being in this state of bliss was too perfect
  • it had actually been taeil who had to conjure you up and into clothes with the promise of pancakes from the campus kitchen
  • there are times when you think taeil forgets important dates or is being a little distant,,,, but he’s not he always proves that he loves you to pieces and even during the weeks where he’s swamped with club commitments, tutoring, finals, and presentations he makes time,,,,,,,,for you
  • even if it’s a quick five minutes where you hand him a coffee and he kisses your forehead and runs to his next class
  • and people ask you,,, he’s so quiet and so smart what do you have in common what do you even talk about
  • and you don’t know how to explain it,,,, because you and taeil don’t need constant talking or anything like that,,,, you just have this vibe that makes you two click
  • and it makes you two feels comfortable around each other,,, ,that any secrets or fears either of you has somehow comes out with ease
  • because you’ve known taeil for so long and he’s known you and your hearts are two in the same
  • even if his interests are different from yours,,, you appreciate each other no matter what
  • so you can sit on the couch, legs resting on top of his and do your own thing
  • or you can be huddled close in a room, taeil teaching you the guitar,,, not an inch between you
  • and it’s comfortable,,,,,it’s perfect
  • yuta: im so jealous how is taeil so freaking smart, so freaking handsome, and even has a freaking cute significant other gOD DAMN
  • taeil: it’s because i shut up and mind my business
  • you: oh my god
  • the entire campus: oh my god
  • yuta: wow just let your man destroy me like that huh 
wake up call || shawn mendes

a/n: based on that one video shawn posted on insta where he was shirtless and singing, also a re-upload, read this if confused, love ya! [masterlist]
warnings: nsfw

Originally posted by shxwnmendess

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Jamaica

This is a lil something I wrote because I watched BTA and it ruined me…special thanks to @sing-me-a-song-harry for helping me edit and sort it out!! Hope you all like it!! xx B

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The sunlight was blinding, the humidity making your skin sticky and already making your hair nearly unmanageable as you made your way off the tarmac. You squinted and pulled down your shades, your eyes darting everywhere until they landed on a curly head of hair about ten yards from you. Harry was bent over his cell phone, lips rolled into his mouth and a pair of black RayBans holding his hair back from his eyes. He looked as delicious as ever, and you swallowed as you admired the slight tan he’d acquired over the past couple of weeks. Harry had always held a soft spot in your heart; with his killer smile and charming personality, you often wanted nothing more than to get on your knees for him. That sort of thinking wasn’t appropriate though, especially since the pair of you had always been just friends, nothing more. You cleared your throat.
“Harry!” You called and his head popped up, a warm smile on his lips.
”‘Lo, love! ’Ve missed ya, glad yeh decided t'come down.“ His arms wrapped around you, his lips pressing sweetly to your cheek, and you bit your lip as the scent of him flooded your senses. You loved the way he smelled. “Shall we?” Harry reached for your bags, leaving one arm draped casually over your shoulder.
“How’ve you been, H? How’s the writing?” Harry’s dimples deepened, and his eyes sparkled happily. He was well-rested for once, with no dark circles under his clear green eyes, and you smiled up at him as he began to ramble on about his album. Harry talked the entire way to the house he shared with his writing partners, his voice light and hands moving animatedly as he drove. The house itself was gorgeous, and when Harry showed you to your temporary room, you couldn’t help the snort that came from your lips.
“What happened to living modestly hidden in Jamaica?” A shrug and a half smile was his response as he set your bags down. He suddenly seemed close, very close, and his eyes had a new, unreadable look in them.
“’M glad yeh came, love, really. ’S been too long.” Harry gently tucked some of your hair behind your ear and out of your face, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. Your tummy flipped when you watched his eyes dart quickly to your lips. If only he would just lean a little closer…..
“Harry? Y/N?” The pair of you jumped at Jeff’s voice calling through the house, your cheeks heating as Harry scratched the back of his neck.
“Yeh, um…get unpacked and settled, yeah? I think everyone wants t'go out t'night, yeh should go.” Harry turned to leave, his shoulders a little tense, and you frowned.
“Are you not going?” His head turned to look at you over his shoulder and he offered a small smile.
“Yeh know me, love; partying isn’t m'thing, is it?” Then he was out the door, leaving you to mull over going out or not.
Two hours later, everyone but you and Harry filed out of the house, taking all of the loud noise and talking with them. Harry’d taken to sitting by the dining table, a guitar in his hands and a glass of wine sitting in front of him as he strummed quietly.
“Mind if I join you?” His eyes flew to you, his lips curling into a smile. A large hand tunneled through his hair as he looked you over, taking in your pajama shorts and loose tank top. You could’ve sworn a flash of desire sparked in his eyes.
“Not at all. Wine?” He was already pouring you half a glass, sliding it over to you as you took the seat next to him. Thanking him with a nod, you took a sip, your gaze moving to the large windows to admire the view of the beach and beautiful sea beyond it.
“How’s everythin’ in your world? How’s..what’s his name?” You didn’t miss the way his lip curled down in distaste at the mention of your last fling.
“Wouldn’t know. I ended it just after you left…prick was sleeping with two other girls.” A grunt left Harry’s lips as he propped his guitar against the table, his hand coming to rest on your thigh.
“I’m sorry, love. Yeh too good fo’ him anyways.” You shrugged, draining the wine from your glass and setting it back on the table.
“I sure know how to pick them, eh?” A humorless laugh left your lips and Harry frowned, shaking his head.
“’S'alright, pet, he was the one with the problem, not you.” You rolled your head back, still hyper aware of Harry’s warm palm on your thigh, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your bare skin.
“Where are all the good ones, H? The creeps and arseholes are always the ones I attract. Where are all the men like you?” Harry’s brows rose a little, a ball tightening in his stomach. All he’d wanted to do since you’d gotten off the plane was kiss you until your lips were swollen, and now here you were, asking him where men like him were hiding. He shifted a little closer to you, hand tightening on your thigh.
“Men like me?” The words were quiet, unfocused as Harry watched your throat move as you swallowed.
“You know, men who…are real. Who aren’t afraid to let you know what they want. Men who are loyal, good guys. Where do all of you hide out?” Now you were so close to each other that you could feel his warm breath puffing over your cheek. Harry’s tongue swept along his bottom lip, and you longed to kiss him. His fingers edged under the hem of your shorts, goosebumps raising on your skin.
“’M certainly not hidin’, angel.” A crooked smirk tugged at his lips and then Harry leaned in, his pink lips covering yours. You gasped, and it was enough of a space for his tongue to edge out, sweeping along your top lip as if to ask permission. You eagerly gave him more room to work, your hands going to fist in his white t-shirt as his tongue met yours, tentatively brushing over it. When the first tiny whimper bubbled from your throat, Harry pulled back, his forehead pressing against yours.
“D'yeh wan’ this?” Always so good, that was Harry. So, so good all the time. In response, you stood and leaned over him, taking his jaw in your hands and kissing him hotly. A surprised grunt rumbled through him as his hands grasped your hips, pushing you back as he stood. Your backside met the wall, and you moaned as Harry’s hands began to wander. His fingers worked to push your shirt up and over your head, revealing your tummy and chest to him. He tossed your shirt to the floor and his hands moved to cup your breasts over your bra.
“Harry,” you managed, hips bucking into his, moaning again once you felt the hard length of him pressing against your lower body.
“Yeh wet fo’ me? Hm, angel?” Your bra straps were tugged down your arms, and the clasp was undone before your bra joined your tank top on the floor.
“Yes, yes, I’m so wet.” It was true; your panties had been ruined since his hand first landed on your thigh. A growl left Harry’s lips at your words, his dark eyes dropping to your breasts.
“Jesus, pet. S'pretty.” His tongue lapped over one of your nipples, and you let out a garbled moan, your hands tangling in his hair as he wrapped his lips around your breast. Harry’s hips rutted into yours, desperate for any amount of pressure on his aching cock. Your hand slipped down to slide into his loose shorts, easily finding his cock. He groaned against your skin when you circled your hand around his thick length, enjoying the heavy weight of him. Harry worked to yank down your shorts and panties, lips moving heatedly over your exposed skin.
“Christ, darling, feels s'good.” His breath puffed against your collarbones as he thrusted his hips with each stroke of your hand, moaning each time you thumbed the tip of him. Your free hand went to pull down his shorts, thankful for the fact that he tended to go commando, and your mouth watered at the sight of his fully hard cock. It was flushed and pretty, little pearls of precum already beading on his head. “S'nough, pet,” Harry said darkly, one arm going to brace the wall beside your head and the other moving to grasp your thigh to wrap your leg around his hip. “Yeh ready?” He asked as your fingers twisted in the thin material of his shirt. You nodded as Harry mouthed along your jawline and crowded against you, one hand moving to guide himself into you.
“Big!” You gasped, reveling in the burning stretch that came as he buried himself to the hilt. A low, rumbling groan spread through Harry’s chest, his eyes squeezing shut as your walls clenched around him. His lips closed around your earlobe and he began to thrust, hips rutting into yours with smooth, measured strokes. You were so tight and warm around him, taking every inch of him gladly, and Harry was seeing stars by the time a curl of pleasure began to ball in his stomach.
“Yeh feel amazin’, pet…knew yeh would, wanted this fo’ so long.” His neck veins strained as he threw his head back, his words turning into long moans as your walls clenched around him. His thick cock brushed every nerve in you, goading you quickly to your orgasm as his lips lowered to your neck. Harry nibbled at your damp skin, tongue soothing the sting of his bite as you mewled loudly.
“Please, Harry!” You cried, hand slipping up to tug at his hair. Harry growled at the feeling, hips shifting to pound into you. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the otherwise quiet house, and you thanked whoever was watching out for you for sending your friends out of the house for the night.
“Can yeh feel me all up in yeh?” Harry’s hand circled your wrist and led it to rest on your lower belly, where he pressed it down until you could feel the tip of him brushing your walls. A loud moan ripped through you. Filthy. He was absolutely filthy with you, and you couldn’t help the garbled half-sentences that fell from your lips as his fingers went to circle your clit.
“Close! So close, baby, please.” Your voice was strangled as you fought for a decent breath, your throat dry from crying out. Harry’s lips covered yours, swallowing your moans and shouts as he moved faster, his cock beginning to twitch inside of you. The kiss was just as filthy as his words, sloppy and wet, all tongue meeting tongue and lips smacking against lips. Your hands fisted tighter in his shirt and hair as you barreled towards your orgasm, back arching.
“Yeh gonna cum fo’ me? Gonna b'good, pet?” Harry’s tongue licked down your throat and you screwed your eyes shut as he sucked a nipple into his mouth.
“Yes! Yes, I’ll be good, please, please, Harry. I’m so close,” you cried, head rolling back against the wall. Harry grunted in response, the vein that wrapped along the underside of him pulsing with pleasure as he neared his edge.
“Cum,” he puffed against your breast, “cum fo’ me. C'mon, angel, give it t'me.” Your mouth parted in a silent moan as your orgasm broke over you, white flooding your vision. Harry was quick to follow, spurting hot, sticky ropes of his seed deep inside of you. Sweat coated the both of you, and the Jamaican air wasn’t helping, almost suffocatingly hot as you fought for breaths. Harry’s head rested against your collarbones, his softening length still nestled inside of you. You pressed short kisses to his hairline, trembling still, and Harry huffed out a laugh.
“Well tha’s one way t’ welcome yeh.” You let out a shaky laugh as he withdrew, hands coming to cup your cheeks. “’Ve wanted yeh fo’ s'long, love.” A sweet, chaste kiss was pressed to your mouth and you smiled sleepily at him, running a hand through his messy hair.
“Now you’ve got me.” You replied. Harry’s response was a wicked, promising smirk that made heat coil in your belly again.
“C'mon, pet, there’s a king-sized bed with silk sheets that I need t’ see yeh writhing against.” And writhe you did.

It’s kind of her to have referenced me as an influence…ultimately, I bet we’re probably just two people cut from the same cloth. I’m influenced by her. I think one of her secret weapons is how unconventional she is. In my case, it’s probably something that holds me back. It makes me more left of center. But somehow, she brings the center to that. She’s a great writer, and a great musician, and has been a great friend to me. I get really angry when people pick on her. I know a lot of superstars — remember, I’m not one, but I know a lot of them. And she is the most normal superstar I’ve ever met in my life. I think that says everything you need to know about Taylor Swift. When people come up just a little bit after you and say you were important to them? It doesn’t matter if they’re a superstar, or it’s somebody who comes and says hello to you while you’re standing at the merch table and says, ‘Hey, I started playing guitar because of this song you wrote.’ It’s an incredibly fulfilling, yet humbling thing to hear.
—  Chris Carraba of Dashboard Confessional talking about Taylor
Jake Dillinger Headcanons

-he’s bad at video games
-he always tries to play with Jeremy and Michael and Rich, but just runs off edges or forgets what buttons do what
-sometimes Rich suggests they play on teams just so he can help Jake out and he’ll do bad at something just so Jake can “help” him
-Jake does huge promposals for Rich, huge birthday parties for everyone, always remembers everyone’s anniversary and is the king of giving gifts
-him and Michael have competitions to see who can give better gifts on birthdays
-Michael got him a pin maker once and Jake almost cried
-he makes everyone their own personalized pins including a pin for Rich that just says “taken” in the bi pride colors
-Jake fidgets with everything
-pencils, zippers, hoodie strings, the inside of his pockets
-he plays with Rich’s hands when they hold hands just to keep his fingers busy
-English ? You best believe that’s the subject Jake likes the most. Socratic seminars are his favorite thing because he loves debating things and hearing opinions and wow
-Jake listens to music really, REALLY loud when nobody is home (which is often) and jumps off couches and onto tables and plays the air guitar
-he has this young, loud laugh around his friends and at parties and stuff
-but around his close friends, he has this breathy, short laugh
-he likes dumb pop songs and jams to basically EVERYTHING
-a good 48% of his selfies are furrowed brows with his tongue out and a rock and roll sign
-perfect teeth and health despite primarily eating pizza, chips, little cakes, and Cheetos
-him and Michael get along surprisingly well
-him, Brooke, and Rich have dance parties and Jake laughs at them when they headbang (which is often)
-“I love you guys!!!”, “I love my boyfriend!!!”, “Aren’t my friends the best???”, “Man, you guys are awesome!”
-Jake has so much love for everyone
-Bro! Dude! Man! Sick! Wicked! Sweet! Dang!
-he’s president of like 80 clubs and constantly misses meetings to be at other clubs, but still manages to get everything done
-GSA is the only club he NEVER misses
-he’s always so stressed that he doesn’t even know when he’s stressed because it’s his constant emotion
-validates everyone always
-he loves summer and swimming and going on boats and getting icecream and warm weather
-he calls the squip a squid because he genuinely blocked it all out of his memory and he thinks referring to it like that makes everyone feel a little better (it does)

bmc kids as college students either i or other people i know have encountered

jeremy: 

  • sat in a class for funsies until the prof said “i really don’t like sit ins.” gets so nervous and doesn’t say anything. ends up getting as far as answering a quiz and participating in class before he confesses he’s a sit in very quietly, nearly on the verge of tears.
  • his phone ringtone accidentally went off in the library blaring “BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN’ EVERYWHERE” to the entire building. later tweeted “i cant go to the library anymore ever”
  • post it note left the freedom board that said “im single! im anxious! im dtf! call me!” w/ no number.

michael:

  • wears a plant hair clip on his head every day. every. day. even during tennis, plant guy has the plant on his head and it does not move.
  • doesnt go to any of the lectures for one class because his grades last sem were high enough to reward unlimited absences. shows up only for the final. gets the highest score.
  • The Dude Who’s Always Playing The Guitar At That One Table But He’s Hot So You Don’t Ask Him To Fuckin’ Quit It

christine:

  • in three different theatre organizations. that one girl who’s always like “i cant. i have rehearsals.”
  • did a movement piece to high school musical 2′s Bet On It in the middle of the hallway
  • a dead rat is left in the hallway and not cleaned up for 3 days. she builds it a paper tombstone and leaves it flowers, thus resulting in everybody taking pictures of The Dead Rat In The Hallway. rat is cleared away in a matter of hours.

rich:

  • guy who got really distracted seeing somebody really hot while crossing the road and almost gets hit by a car
  • says “if i was DRUNK could i do THIS?” and proceeds to run straight into a urinal
  • prof asks “what is a possible way to control population?” and he raises his hand and answers with “oral.”

jake:

  • came to a 8am 2hr class one hour late with no bag but with a container filled with at least ten pancakes and an entire bottle of maple syrup. has breakfast during remaining lecture time.
  • academic genius but keeps pulling on doors that say “push”
  • brought spray lubricant to school and fixed every single creaky door he found

chloe:

  • “so i just cried for an hour and that sucked but it tested the waterproof capabilities of my eyeliner. it’s fantastic. look. it’s still perfect.”
  • brings a knife to school every day just so she can open the the power outlet in the lecture hall.
  • this one girl in ballroom class who ended up with a shitty partner and literally led both roles of the tango through sheer force of will and terrifying eye contact. steps on the dude’s foot "by accident” at the last pose. 

brooke:

  • you dont know her but she’s braided your hair in class at least three times now
  • The Google Docs Note Taker, AKA Savior Of The Slumbering Students
  • messages the groupchat “i just saw the most handsome boy!” and then sends a picture of a bearded lizard in a terrarium

jenna:

  • buys a coffee from the vending machine infamous for dispensing bullshit. she takes a sip, looks down at the paper cup, and says. “this…reminds me of flavor.” 
  • accidentally sends a 3 paragraph rant to a class groupchat
  • tasked to bring a sapling for lab but forgets all about it. steals a fully grown potted plant from the dorm. is not called out for what is obviously a stolen plant and gets full credits.
Boy Next Door

A/N: It’s been on mind if I’m going to write a part 2 on this depending on how you guys like it. Let’s see it as a trial and error type of deal. Tell me what you think!

The one where Harry plays his music loudly, and Y/N is grumpy when she doesn’t get her much needed sleep.

Keep reading

Saying goodbye to my 20s and my birthday wish to all my young hopefuls.

Today I will be saying goodbye to my 20′s. It has never been so clear to me that time is indeed real, and what you do with your time is crucial.

I remember when I turned 20.. actually, I don’t. My memories are blurry when I was young, solely because I choose not to care, because I was 20 and I thought I had all the time in the world. All I knew was that I was young, I was healthy,  I cared only about spending time with my boyfriend (I was determined to get married to him at the age of 21), and that I have to submit my assignment to my legal professor by Monday. Mediocre, and lazy- that was me. At 20, I had no idea that at 9.9 years later I would be in the kitchen of my apartment in the heart of Los Angeles, and writing this, with you in mind. Also at 20, I went to my first indie band rock show, and that changed EVERYTHING. And so, my life lessons began..

At 21, I decided I didn’t want to settle down so soon, I wasn’t ready. I went to an entirely different direction, went into music and discovered that my whole childhood of loving music and singing wasn’t a scam, and I started writing songs of my own.

Me at 20


22 (2008) was when I learned about dignity. I walked into my first record label meeting, sitting across a man, leaning back in his corporate chair telling me I will not go far in the music industry if I
1) kept my headscarves on
2) sang my English songs.
I said no thank you, and proceeded to (with my little knowledge of Company law that I learned in school) start my own company called Yuna Room Records, with my 22 year old cousin, Wawa. We still run this company today. Also this year, I got interviewed for the very first time by my favorite music magazine at the time, Junk, by my all time fav person today, Didi Ramlan.

Young Yuna with bandmates Efry, Paan, Adil.


22 was also when I learned that quality is key. I wrote a song called Dan Sebenarnya, and was willing to let the rough recording of it live forever. Turns out I was wrong, radio wouldn’t play my music because of the crappy quality. I went to get a RM1000(about USD$200) loan from my dad, went to a professional recording studio, to record an EP so the radios will stop saying no to my song.

My bedroom in university. You can see my passion for photography and a photo of me performing my first show with a guitar on the wall, and my law notes sprawled across the table as I stay up studying.


23 (2009) I learned how to manage my financials. I received my first royalty paycheck in the mail, and when I opened it I had to sit down and made sure if it was meant for me, and remember thinking if I deserved all of it. Dan Sebenarnya EP was being downloaded almost 100,000 times a month, my first paycheck was almost RM30k. Too much. I paid off my dad’s loan, split it with my bandmates who helped recording it in the studio with me, and started my savings account and learned how to pay tax. I also graduated from legal studies this year.

With friends from law school. Already you can tell I’m out of place.


24 (2010) I learned that even if I thought I worked really hard for something, second place is a good place to be. I competed in my first national tv music award show performing my song, and lost to a very talented young man who I am now close friends with Aizat Amdan. Sometimes you have to know that some things are just not meant for you. That night, I didn’t get an award, but I got a wonderful friend that I can depend on forever. 2 years later, I got an award that was taken away from me, but because of this incident, I had already learned how to not care so much about awards. Awards do not define you. I also graduated this year, earning my degree in legal studies. Finally!

25. (2011) I learned to take a leap of faith. I went to America with a small bag and a big dream. I was a shy foreigner, I was alone and I was a little bit scared. But, I knew that if I don’t start talking, I will not go anywhere. Being awkward and shy is a waste of time, I learned. The more you want to talk to people, the more respectful you are, the more you will learn.

I learned that you are the only person who can sabotage yourself. When people say you can’t, the only person who can prove them wrong is yourself.

Pharell and I, 2011.

My very first apartment in Los Angeles. I remember every dollar i made from work was to pay for this rent.. I ate a lot of instant noodles and shopped at dollar stores. My furnitures (and one piano that I still have) were all hand-me-downs from my friend, Niles (now a big time DJ, KSHMR!)


26. (2012) I learned how to travel and perform at the same time. I was in different cities everyday, performing every night. Something I didn’t know I could do. I saw people from all races showing up at my show, a diversity and I learned to loved them all, something I didn’t know existed. All my ignorance and stereotypes melted away just from traveling across America. I also learned about loyalty, and the meaning of friendship. Didi, Faiz, Lincoln formed this experience together with me and I will never forget it.

Faiz, Didi and Lincoln, us on the road, across the country for a month in 2012.


Lollapalooza 2013.


27.(2013) I learned about the REAL treasures in life. That your parents are the true treasure that you will never find anywhere else, at any point of your life.  That breaking their hearts is never an option for as long as you live. 

My last moments with my late grandfather. I miss him so much.


28.(2014)  I learned that money is not everything. You can make millions, but you can’t buy happiness. Money will not save lives. I tried my best to save my uncle or my grandfather from their sickness with whatever money I had, and I lost this battle. God saves lives, and he takes them at His will. You can plan, but He is the best planner.

I learned that fame is not everything. You can have millions of followers, a few friends who thinks you’re awesome, but you can still feel very alone. Being liked, or dislike, does not give you infinite happiness. I also learned the horrible truth that for some, fame and money is everything.Time is the best gift you can give to your loved ones.

I learned that physical beauty of a person means nothing. We are all flawed. I am flawed. I learned how to see people’s hearts and hoping that my heart is worth seeing. I learned that being in love is not everything. I learned how to piece myself back together slowly after someone has broken every fragile part of me. I learned that the person you spend your time with can either bring the best out of you, or unleash a monster inside of you. People come into your life to teach you valuable lessons, and you have to learn from it. I learned that if you lose someone, it doesn’t mean its because you’re not worth it. It just means you’re growing. How you rise above this, will be your life’s best victory.

29,(2015-today) this is my favorite year. I learned to let go, and learned to realize that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else. I learned that I was not entirely healthy, and decided to take care of myself better before it’s too late.

I learned that you can find love in the calmness of being in someone’s presence. Never disrupt that calmness. ‘Don’t be an idiot’, I tell myself, ‘Don’t screw this up!’

I learned to stop caring what people have to say about me, because of the simple reason being- they have no clue what’s going on. They don’t deserve a space in my thought process. I learned about having the courage to be me. I learned the hard way, that there are givers, and takers. There are people who are here to take advantage of me and use me, and I have to walk away from them. I learned to shut doors to people who sees life in a negative way without any second guesses. I learned how to say no when people try to take away the best qualities that I’ve taken all these years to shape. I learned how to sever ties with people who drain my energy. I learned how to fight for my identity. I learned how to fight for my life and the lives of people that I care about. Most importantly, after all these years of thinking I should be this and that, I want this, I want that, .. blablabla. I learned one important thing - its not about me. It’s about how can I contribute to make the world a better place.

Al-fatihah for Aina.

On my 30th birthday, I don’t need gifts. I just wish for my young fans to not waste their time. Know that your time is yours, but it’s not yours. If you are in your 20′s, spend your time wisely. Go have fun, you’re young, but don’t forget to contribute your energy, you’re young. Time flies, but take your time learning. Make mistakes, but learn from them. Don’t try to grow up too fast, stay in your zone and be present as much as you can. Remember, you are so much more than what people say about you. People rush you into doing things.. but ask yourself what do YOU want? Go and live life fully, learn as much as you can. Achieve greatness and bring out greatness in others as well. Be aware of whats happening in the world, not just yours. Learn to see whats on the other side, and try not to settle in what your setup has been set up for you. 

Be woke. Be intelligent. Be there for the people who need you. Keep your head up and be confident, but know when to keep your head down and be humble. Never underestimate what your heart tells you. It’s okay to be wrong, its okay to fail and know that you are flawed, and life will prove this to you again and again. Know that you will rise, again and again. Being flawless comes after you learned that you can accept your flaws and not giving up doing something beautiful for the world.

Happy birthday to me and to you, here’s to us, who will see today as Day 1.

Baby Mendes

A/N: For this imagine (possible series) I merged three requests into one and this was created. 

Pairing: Shawn X Female reader
Requested: Yes| Could you please do #378 on the prompt list?| 115! Thanks| Could you please do 326 :-)
Word prompts: (378) “Things don’t go the way you want them to. Ever.”| (115) “You weren’t supposed to hear that,”| (326) “I don’t know, he is just. I don’t know.”
Word Count: 1,700?
Warnings: None!

You sat sitting confiding to you mom about the recent information you found out. Surprisingly your mother was not upset with you, but you were upset with yourself. How could this happen? “Mom I’m nineteen, I can’t be having a baby!” You cried into your mom’s shoulder.

Keep reading

for you pt. 5 [M]

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Badboy!Taehyung, angst, implied smut

Word Count: 5.1k-ish

Originally posted by vminv


Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Final

“I think I understand how you felt when we had dinner with my friends.” you confessed as you checked yourself in the mirror one last time.

“What do you mean?” Taehyung called out from where he was tuning his guitar on the couch.

“I’m the first person you’re bringing home to meet your mom. Do you know how much pressure that is?” you choked out as you ran your fingers through your hair one last time.

Taehyung set the guitar down on the coffee table and walked over to where you were fussing with your clothes. He took your hands off of your frame and held them in his hands, “You are going to be just fine. I think my mom is going to love you more than I do”

Your head snapped up to stare at Taehyung as you took in words. His cheeks immediately went to the deepest shade of red you have ever seen. “What did you say?” you asked in disbelief.

Taehyung shook his head, “I-I-I-It slipped out. I didn’t mean it like that. I just, ah, fuck” You watched as he became more and more flustered with each passing second and you couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s not funny.” he pouted as you tried your best to stifle your giggles.

You gently ran your finger along his cheekbone, and smiled, “Do you? Love me?” you asked quietly as Taehyung pulled your into him.

He pressed his forehead against yours as he took deep breaths, preparing himself to speak those words probably for the first time in his life to someone other than his mother, “I do. I love you, Y/N”

A smile spread across your face as you took in his words. You wanted to bask in them as much as you could and you wished that you could replay this moment over and over again, “I love you too, Kim Taehyung” you whispered, pressing your lips against his. You could feel the relief spread throughout his body as the two of you kissed in the hallway.

Keep reading

Just got to do some woodworking for the first time in a long while, and I am once again reminded of why I enjoy my favorite type of word to work with: Purpleheart.

Why’s it called purpleheart?

Muthafuckin’ purple wood. How cool is that? It’s brown when you cut it, but due to oxidization, eventually turns to a beautiful purple color. (if you don’t seal it at this stage, it’ll eventually turn red, I believe, which is still pretty, but you buy purpleheart for purple, damnit!)

And everything you make with it turns out amazing.

Purple floors?

Nice.

Purple stairs?

Fancy.

Purple table?

Sweet.

Purple guitar?

Awesome.

Purple whatever the hell is going on here?

Epic.

It’s just such a cool wood to work with, and it’s sturdy enough to be used for just about anything. If I ever get a house, half of it might just end up being made out of purpleheart.

Anyway, that’s enough nerdery for one post. I will now return to reblogging stupid pictures and recipes.

Joshua crushing on you !! // scenario

Originally posted by jishooua

A bullet-point scenario starring our LA boy, Joshua Hong!!

Send in reaction and scenario requests on my page if you’d like to :)


- Josh is legit the kind of boy that my parents want me to bring home LMAO

- I don’t even have to list out why bc we all know that he is the epitome of a gentleman

- well, most of the time

- if you didn’t hear

- Josh has this secret “not-so-gentlemanly” side lolol

- I KNOW I KNOW IT CAN BE A LITTLE HARD TO IMAGINE AT FIRST BC THE BOY LOOKS LIKE A HARMLESS BUNNY

- but svt keeps bringing up how different Joshua can be off camera and I can’t help but think that they mean he’s 5000x more sassy irl

- and no not the bad kind of sassy, I mean the fun kind

- the type of sassy that keeps the conversation interesting 

- why I’m bring this up is because although Josh would want to show his gentlemanly side to his crush

- he’d also want to show his crush that he’s not always the passive, quiet type

- Josh knows there’s another side of him that could ALSO get him the girl he’s after

- and if she can handle this hidden side of his

- then he’ll know that this girl is definitely meant to be with him

- AY SCENARIO TIME !

- so as an intern at pledis, you’re given access to all of the company building’s facilites ay it’s lit

- from the water dispensing machines to the high quality speaker systems

- they’re all at your disposal

- as long as no one else is using them at the moment

- so one day you’re finishing up the last of your daily internship tasks when you spot a guitar atop a random table !!

- do yall know where I’m going w this?

- what does this guitar even have to do with you, you ask?

- well you’ve actually been wanting to learn how to play this m a g i c a l instrument for awhile 

- but you could never find a guitar that you could readily use for learning

- and since pledis is aLLOWINg you uSe whAtEver you wAnt in the buiLDINg

- you’re like:

- “wHAT THE HECK LET’S DO IT.”

- so you get the guitar in your hands and take it to a vacant office in the building

- at first you think it’ll be a breeze learning the instrument because THE INTERNET is by your side

- and guitar tutorials exist all over youtube soOoOOo

- WELL I’M SORRY YOU’RE WRONG IT’S ACTUALLY PRETTY HARD LMAO

- even with the help of “guitar for dummies” beginner tutorials, you just can’t seem to make the chords sound decent without straining your fingers in the process lol

- and even with all the pain, your playing still doesn’t sound too good

- BUT BEING THE STRONG INDEPENDENT PERSON YOU ARE, YOU! DON’T! GIVE! UP!

- so you decide to make this “guitar practice” a routine thing after finishing your tasks around the building

- M E A N W H I L E

- Joshua, having arrived to the building on the day you took the guitar for the first time, comes up to the room where he keeps the guitar

- he stops his tracks at the sight of an empty table, the table he usually returns the guitar to

- “it’s not here??” he says internally

- “oh well, I guess it’ll be back by tomorrow,” he shrugs and carries on

- but the next day, the guitar isn’t there agaiN

- and Josh starts to get a little worried about its whereabouts

- he looks around the rest of the room, thinking someone might’ve placed it elsewhere after using it

- buh n0pe

- he kinda gets a little lazy in his search and gives up for the day

- “maybe tomorrow,” he tells himself

- he actually ends up telling himself this for a whole week bc it just never reappears again lol

- and with that week passing, Josh’s worry for the beloved six-stringed instrument only grows

- so he asks people around the building if they’ve seen it anywhere

- almost everyone says they haven’t seen it recently

- until Josh comes across Jihoon

- “hey Ji,” he calls out the producer, who is fetching himself a drink from the water dispenser outside his studio

- Jihoon’s eyes move to Josh, letting him know that he’s got his attention

- “have you seen the Taylor guitar anywhere? You know, the one that I always place on the table upstairs?”

- “no, I haven’t,” he replies plainly

- “Oh, okay. Thanks,” Josh’s eyes dart down at the floor in hopelessness

- but just before Jihoon retreats to his studio again, he takes a step back

- “actually,” he catches Josh’s attention again. “I was upstairs a few minutes ago and I heard someone playing a guitar in one of the vacant offices on the third floor, but I didn’t check who was playing.”

- “I know it wasn’t you because-” Jihoon snickers before he can continue his sentence

- “what? Was it bad?” Josh laughs lightly

- “it wasn’t too bad, but it definitely didn’t sound like a pro either.”

- “I’ll take that as a compliment for myself,” Joshua smiles and shakes his head. “Thanks, Ji.”

- “no problem. Good luck trying to get it back.”

- so Josh heads up to the office floor to investigate

- and upon arriving on the designated floor, he hears strumming coming from down the hall

- he creeps quietly through the floor until the strumming is loud enough

- then he crouches down next to the door of the office you’re in

- but before he could peek into the room…

- “UGHHGG WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH,” you yelp

- and Josh, frightened by the sudden yelling, falls out of his position next to the office door, and his knee makes an audible thud

- you look back at the doorway and hEY IT’S THAT JOSHUA DUDE FROM SVT

- … wait wTF IT’S THAT JOSHUA DUDE FROM SVT!1!1!!?!

- you guys know the basic things about each other from when you were formally introduced at the beginning of your internship, but that’s about it

- Josh’s face blushes pink upon being caught and he quickly gets up to brush off his knees

- “ah, uh, I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… you know,” he struggles to find words

- you’re speechless for a few moments, but you eventually work up the courage to say something at least

- “how long were you waiting there for?” you laugh nervously

- “uhh… not long I promise,” he smiles and puts hands up in defense

- “regardless, you probably heard how bad I was,” you cover your mouth out of shyness

- “oh nonono, you’re actually not that bad,” he tries to make you feel better

- “did you not just hear me out there?” you laugh at him. “Trust me, I’m pretty bad.”

- “okay okay, so maybe you’re… just okay, but I think you’ve got a lot of potential.”

- and inside you’re kinda like WHERE? WHAT POTENTIAL? LOL

- but what he said gives you a little bit of hope and you can’t help but smile

- “I guess,” you tap the guitar nervously. “I just started learning about a week ago. I found this guitar on to-”

- “on top of a table on the second floor, I know,” Josh smiles

- oh shit, is this guitar his? you think

- “wait, have I been stealing your guitar?”

- “mm well it’s not really mine,” he replies. “But I use it the most out of every one in this building.”

- “well, with the exception of this past week, when it went missing,” he laughs

- “oh my god I’m so sorry for not asking. I just-” you think of a better way to apologize, but Josh, being an unDeRsTaNDiNg gEntLEmAn, is quick to forgive you

- “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. All of the facilities here are meant to be shared with everyone anyways.”

- Inside you’re all sassy n shit like, DAS RIGHT BIH I’M JUST FOLLOWING THE RULES K

- but on the outside you’re just:

- “ah I know but I think out of everyone here, you should have priority over the guitar, you know. Because you actually perform with it.”

- “yeah, but I’d love for you to be able to learn too. I don’t even perform with a guitar that often. It’s honestly just a side-hobby,” he tries to justify

- “hey, if you want, I can give you some lessons or something,” he offers shyly

- “I don’t know,” you contemplate aloud. “I’m pretty hopeless with this guitar thing… I’ve been using the easiest guitar tutorials on youtube and I still can’t get it right.”

- “I know. I went through that too,” Josh shares some sympathy. “But don’t you think learning the guitar in person is better than learning it from some random guy on the internet?”

- “well technically, you are some random guy off of the internet too,” you tease fr tho we wouldn’t know about svt if it woren’t for the internet

- “HEY, at least I don’t look like some old man that lives in an outhouse, like the guy in that tutorial there,” he points to your laptop screen

- he’s super nice for offering but

- jeez this guy’s attitude though, you think to yourself

- is it sass?? or humor??

- and i thought he was supposed to be the gentleman of the group…

 - … WHATEVER I LOVE IT

- and aw shit he’s kinda cute too… I’d pick him over this old dude on the tutorial vids any day lmao

- so you accept the offer for a lesson or two

- and it’s mostly because you’re curious about Josh

- you know his public reputation as a nice guy/gentleman

- but this encounter with him definitely showcased another side of him

- and you want to know more about it…

- so the first lesson happens the day after you guys meet

- and you don’t know this but Josh is actually pretty stoked to be teaching you the guitar

- he’s been meaning to talk to you for awhile, but he never really had a legitimate excuse to do so

- until now :3

- and although he thinks he’s gonna revert to his “nice guy” self out of nervousness with you

- your easygoing attitude makes it easy for him to loosen up and be his true self

- he cracks funny insults and jokes here and there and it just makes the whole lesson really fun

- after having such a good time, you guys agree to make this a regular thing

- but slowly, as you get better at the guitar, your little lessons become less like lessons and more like regular hangouts

- a lot of times you’ll find yourselves just jamming out to whatever songs you feel like playing

- not only are you learning more about the guitar, but more about each other as well

- these “lessons” are honestly what the both of you look forward to the most everyday :’)

- one day, during one of your hangouts, you show Josh a song on the guitar that you’ve been practicing for awhile

- he recognizes the song and begins singing along with you

- it’s probably one of those throwback love songs you both heard when you guys were kids bc tbh he’d be huge sucker for those lol

- and as he goes through the lyrics

- he realizes something

- what he’s singing… he means it… for you

- it’s cute when this hits him because he kinda loses track of the song and thinks about the lyrics to himself while he stares at you AHH

- and you’ll have to snap him out of his thoughts like, “hey Josh, why’d you suddenly stop singing?”

- you’d also have to wave a hand at his face to get him to stop staring at you

- Josh shakes his head after snapping out of his daze and apologizes

- “oh my bad, I’m sorry, uh… Wanna take it from the top again?” he laughs nervously

- and at night he’ll think about that moment he kinda lost himself in the lyrics with you

- and he’d replay a particular thought in his head:

- Josh, I’m pretty sure you like y/n…

- but does she feel the same?

- CRUSHING HABITS DISCUSSION TIME !!!

- I think the one thing that would bother Josh when he’s crushing on you would be the question that’s two bullet-points up ^^^^^

- do you feel the same? HECK YEAH DUDE TAKE ME NOW

- this would be the basis of all the little things he does to you when crushing on you

- well for one, he’d be the type to move closer to you when hanging out with you just to see how you’d react

- prior to his crush on you, he’d just point to the strings you need to press on the guitar when teaching you

- but while he’s crushing, he’s definitely gonna come up behind you and put his arms around you so that you guys can play the on the same guitar at the same time

- and if you ask him why he’s changed his “method of teaching”

- he’s probably gonna use some stupid excuse like,

- “it’s just easier this way, okay?” AIGHT JOSH AIGHT

- and oh boy this guy’s gonna be so damn proud every time his gets you flustered

- he’d do this by shamelessly throwing a few random compliments here and there like:

- “hey Josh, this riff sounds pretty doesn’t it,” you say before pluck away gently at the strings of the guitar

- “I don’t know,” he says as he furrows his eyes at the instrument

- “why? What’s wrong with it?” you ask

- “hmm, I just think there are prettier things out there,” he’d pause as he looks up to your eyes

- “like you.

- “what?” your cheeks tint pink and a tiny laugh escapes your lips

- Josh starts laughing at your face. “It was joke, y/n.” ISTG JOSHUA

- your cheeks heat up until the pink shade turns into a red. “HEY, that’s- that’s…” you struggle to find words

- “a lie, I know,” he smiles. “God, y/n, I get it. You’re pretty. You don’t have rub it in my face.”

- “JOSH WTH THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEA-”

- “Stop stop, I don’t wanna hear it,” he hold up a finger to your lips to make you shut up and die internally rip you

- also

- from time to time you’ll feel the need to ask why the hell Josh agreed to help you learn guitar in the first place

- bc he’s honestly such a great teacher and you fEEL SO UNWORTHY OF HIS KINDNESS

- “hey Josh, why me of all people?”

- “pardon?”

- “why did you offer to teach me guitar when we first met? You heard me and I sucked. Like real bad.”

- he laughs

- “doesn’t everything I do for you make it obvious?” Josh says as he cleans out the dust on the guitar

- “huh?”

- “jeez, y/n, anyone can see through all of this. You’re just oblivious,” he laughs before blowing the surface of the newly dusted instrument

- “J-Josh are you trying to say-” you think he’s trying to say he likes you but he cuts you off

- “that you’re dumb? Yes,” he smiles slyly

- you roll your eyes and get up from your seat, annoyed by all the useless things Josh is saying to you

- “wait y/n,” he laughs and grabs your wrist before you could walk out of the room.

- you try to tug your wrist out of his grip, but it’s too strong

- “c’mon y/n, I need you to keep making me smile,” he says, his eyes softening at the sight of your face again

- you redden once again

- “so stay,” he continues as he loosens his grip on your wrist and moves his hand down to yours

- you let go of his hand and he follows. “why are you always trying to use dumb lines on me,” you sigh and struggle to hide a shy smile

- “but they work, don’t they,” he smirks as you sit back down next to him

- Josh would feel comfortable making his crush on you obvious as long as you give off signals that you like him too

- or at least get flustered when he says something nice about you goddamnit

- SO YEAH you’ll be up at night wondering if Josh really means the words he’s always teasing you with

- honestly he’s just trying to get you to confess to him before he can

- Josh just wants to make sure you’ve fallen for him like he did for you :’)

- BUT if you’re a tough person to crack, he’ll eventually reach his own breaking point and will have to tell you how he feels somehow

- LEMME EXPLAIN

- on some days when you guys can’t meet up (aka days when Josh’s schedule doesn’t allow him to go to the company building while you’re there), Josh sends you a text with a song or two that he thinks would be nice to try on the guitar

- and one day, instead of a few song titles and their artists, you get a link

- so you tap on the link and it leads you to a private document

- it has chords and lyrics scattered across the page

- but you don’t recognize the song

- and wtf it doesn’t even have an artist name or title on it

- so you search some of the lyrics up

- but nothing matches up to it

- so you text Josh back and you’re like:

- you: “hey man what’s with song you sent me?”

- Josh: “what’s wrong? do you not like it?”

- you: “I don’t know the song and this document doesn’t have a title or the artist’s name???” “so I can’t even search it up and give it a listen first”

- Josh: “well if you’re wondering who the artist is”

- Josh: “it’s me”

- Josh: “:D”

- you: “hAh nice joke Josh” “no really who’s the artist”

- Josh: “I just said it’s me”

- you: “JOSHUA HONG TELL ME WHO WROTE THIS SONG BEFORE I GET ANY MORE FRUSTRATED”

- Josh: “y/n I’m not kidding, I wrote the song”

- Josh: “and I put it into a document so you could try it”

- you: “Josh how the fuck am I supposed to play it if I don’t even know whAT IT’S SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE???”

- Josh: “Idk make it up? lol”

- you: “I still don’t believe it’s yours” “the lyrics are too nice”

- Josh: “I’m offended”

- Josh: “but thanks I wrote it anyways”

- you both stare at your phones simultaneously before Josh continues

- Josh: “it’s fine if you don’t believe me. I just want you to look through it and tell me what you think”

- you: “well it’s nice, like woozi-quality music…”

- you: “mAYBE HE WROTE IT”

- Josh: “okay but would Jihoon talk about you in his lyrics?”

- you: “wait what?”

- you: “I don’t get it”

- you: “waiT JOSH”

- you: “THIS SONG”

- you: “THE LYRICS”

- you: “ARE YOU TRYNA SAY SOMETHING HERE?”

- you: “HONG ANSWER ME”

- you: “I KNOW YOU READ YOUR TEXTS FROM YOUR HOME SCREEN”

- you: “WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO ANSWER ME”

- Josh: “text me when you get it”

- you stare at your phone once again

- Josh, what are you trying to say?

- you decide to give the lyrics another glance

- and you pick up on something familiar in a few of the verses

“the songs are pretty, but there are prettier things like you”

- “I hold you close because it’s easier this way”

“doesn’t everything I do for you make it obvious? see through?”

“I need you to keep making me smile, so stay”

- did he just use the compliments he used to tease you with…

- to make a song?

- you immediately send a text to Josh

- you: “we need to talk when you get back”

- you wait for a quick response, but there’s none

- in fact, you check your messages, and it says he read it

- but nothing

- no word from Josh

- you’re kinda mad at him for the rest of the day for not replying

- the fact that he might just be confessing to you with these song lyrics keeps you up at night

- and you just wanted to talk it out with him to make sure everything’s crystal clear

- the next day you go to pick up the guitar in it’s usual spot, assuming you and Josh have no plans today since he’s so “busy”

- but the guitar isn’t there

- this can only be the works of a Joshua Hong, you think

- so you text him again:

- you: “Josh where is the guitar?”

- Josh: “I have it”

- you: “where”

- Josh: “find me ;)”

- you: “JOSHUA”

- you really want to talk to him today so you start your desperate search

- and you pretty much look everywhere except…

- wAIT THE VACANT OFFICE FLOOR, you scream internally before scrambling for the stairs

- and as you’re nearing that floor, you can hear the distant strumming of a guitar coming from one of the offices YALL KNOW

- and to no surprise, you find yourself at the doorway of the office you used to practice the guitar in all by yourself

- the office that Joshua found you in

- Joshua stops playing the guitar at the sight of you and smiles

- “why didn’t you reply to my text last night?” you ask in annoyance

- “because I knew you figured it out,” he says softly

- “yeah, I think… I mean, I could be taking it the wrong way but-”

- “go ahead. Tell me what you think I’m trying to say,” he leans back on his chair and waits patiently for your response

- you’re about to tell him you think it’s a confession to you

- but you know damn well that Josh is gonna embarrass you and say it means something else

- so you change up your answer

- “you’re trying to tell me that I’m dumb,” you smile coolly. “Like you always do.”

- “… you’re right,” he perks up a wider smile

- this was not the response you were expecting

- “JOSH,” you yell and pause for a moment to think about it

- “am I really?” you ask in an upset tone

- “yeah, y/n. You’re too dumb to realize that it was a co-”

- “CONFESSION I KNOW,” you say in frustration

- Joshua shies away, shifting his glance from your face to your shoes

- “looks like you’re not that dumb after all…”

- he actually… confessed?

- “well,” you clear your throat quietly. “I was pretty mad at you last night for not clearing this all up with me then, but consider yourself… forgiven.” a smile spreads across your face

- “what’s that supposed to mean?” Josh gets up from his seat and puts the guitar aside. He comes up close to you and looks down at your face, just inches away from his

- “are you sure I’m the dumb one?” you lift a brow. “because if you can’t tell what I mean by that, it’s probably you.”

- “it’s not,” his mouth curves up as he lifts your chin and lets his lips inch closer to yours

- but he stops before they can touch

- “wait, is this okay with you?” he asks hesitantly

- “Josh, as much as I love your gentlemanly side, I think it’s kind of ruining the moment,” you laugh

- “I’ll take that as a yes,” he replies before locking his lips with yours

- who knew someone could understand both sides of me so well? Josh smiles to himself