how’m i doing: i’m… surprisingly okay. grad school is not nearly as intense here as in the States so i can work hard and get all H1s (the highest marks offered) or work hard enough and get H3-H1as and keep doin the degree. in creative writing, i put in the full ZOMG I MUST CRUSH THIS THE INSTRUCTOR BETTER HAVE HIS WHOLE ENTIRE PARADIGM SHIFTED; in editing, i work pretty damn hard; in publishing, i… well, as a friend of mine here says, ‘Ps GET DEGREES!’ (P is the lowest grade you can get before you don’t actually pass. i haven’t got one yet, but it’s early days. :p)
love life is i never dreamed. i never. *flappy damaged penguin motions h/t jeremy brett* i love my family, by which i mean my Biscuits. lupin and mr lupin and i are ‘a sturdy three-legged stool’, as mr lupin put it yesterday, and, yeah. i love them individually, and together, and so.much. we are not a thing i expected and i am grateful down to and in the spaces between my every subatomic particle.
parenting is a TRIP, guise. holy shit. i love my son. learning to do right by him has made me a better person. i would agree with you that i am become a fucking cliche but i am too busy not crying because i am not experiencing at least seven emotion.
oh, and i’m getting divorced. like, for real. judge signs off on the paperwork end of july. assets divided fairly with zero drama or disagreement. the ex formerly known as mr jude and i rarely talk but when we do it’s mutually respectful and in good faith. i can probably ask more than that, but i don’t care to.
[if you are on meds or wish you were on or off meds or have any other manner of aksdjflkasdjf around meds possibly skip this paragraph] i’m… off sertraline? completely? for the moment? it was largely an accident: i got sick, and i couldn’t keep the zoloft (or anything else) down, and then i just… kept not taking it. i’d tried three (3) times to go down in my dosage, and i’d done it the Right Way™, with doctors, and plans, and tapering, and it was a shitshow every time. but apparently doing it the ‘wrong’ way was the right one for my brain because it worked? wtf. i definitely notice that i have many more anxiety-fueled and some more depression-fueled thoughts to deal with, but …three weeks? more?… in, i remain able to manage, and manage well, and the positive things popping up where side effects used to be are fantastic. so that worked out better than i deserved.
how mulligan is doing: AWESOME. holy shit. my little trauma muffin continues to bake right up. she has yet to get the verdict on whether her few remaining teeth will need to come out, so that’s a big thing hanging overhead, but the progress left to be made pales compared to the progress already made. she plays! PLAYS! on purpose!! with actual toys and also people!!! she comes out to the landing to hang out! she has cuddle times with lupin AND mr lupin! she spends whole days hanging out with senpai (aka pumpkin) and just napping like it’s okay to let her guard down! she has gained SO. MUCH. WEIGHT. U. GUISE. and i am so happy and i call her ‘podge’ and she’s finally cat sized, not failure-to-thrive sized. (when we got her, she was a year old and about the size of a small guinea pig.) she still does not often hang out in rooms that are not my room, but we are hopeful that as she gets even more stable and even more bored, she will find new spots to call her own.