“I’d do it for you if you asked me, so why won’t you do it for me?” “You better be back before I start to worry! You don’t want that, do you?” “I guess I’ll do it by myself then.” “Please don’t go to bed yet, I don’t want to be alone!” “Do you know how horrible it makes me feel whenever you do that” “After everything I’ve done for you, you’re just going to walk out?” “You owe me, I bought you an expensive engagement ring.” “If you turn on me too, I would have no one left…” “I bet you wouldn’t say you had something tonight if someone more handsome was asking you out.” “You’re the clever one, you should write the presentation for us! It’d take me ten times as long to write.” “I didn’t come all the way to your house to have you shout at me.” “Why haven’t you been talking to me all day? Don’t you like me anymore?” “I’ve paid for the groceries, so you can do the cooking.” “We haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks. Are you avoiding me?” “I just lost my best friend, so why are YOU crying?!”
Don’t Focus On Whether Or Not Someone Likes You Instead of being concerned about whether someone likes you and focusing on how your heart pounds and if you feel butterflies when you’re around them, wonder instead whether you get excited because your chemistry is reacting to meeting another dysfunctional person. Ask yourself instead, does this person have most, if not all, of the qualities you want in a relationship?
Be Your Own Best Friend One reason why people stay in unhealthy relationships is the fear of being alone. One reason for this is because you haven’t developed a best-friend relationship with yourself. Try to reach a place where you actually enjoy your own company. And if that doesn’t help, know that being alone is healthier and preferable to being in an unhealthy relationship filled with hostile drama.
Stop Expecting Someone Else To Fix Your Problems You are responsible for whatever needs fixing in your life, your financial debts, your career, taking care of your body and so forth, not your partner, your best friend or your parents. You will feel much better about yourself and your new confidence will be very attractive.
Know Your Boundaries And Stick To Them We are constantly sending out hints to other people about how we want to be treated. These are called “boundaries,” meaning your deal breakers for what you will and won’t accept. How much importance you attach to honesty, respect, and reliability are just as important as personal space, time alone, or how much physical affection or romance you require. When you uphold your boundaries, you don’t allow others to manipulate, guilt, or control you, and your inner self will thank you
Trust Your Inner Warning Signals Your body is innately sensitive to other people’s energies and intentions. Check your own inner warning signals, which will alert you that you’re with a toxic or drama-addicted person. Some warning signals you may be getting are:
- You feel used, because it’s a one-sided relationship, with you doing all the giving - You feel guilty, like you owe the person something - You feel angry at him or her and at yourself - After the person leaves, you feel drained and tired - You have a desire to avoid the person.
Trust your intuition here. These feelings won’t be present in a healthy relationship.
Write A Letter To The Person You’re Upset With Even healthy relationships can hit a rocky patch from time to time. At times like these, it often helps to write a letter to the person you’re upset with. Pour out your feelings, and hold nothing back. Then, in a ceremonious way, burn the letter. You can also send a more restrained version of the letter to the person, after waiting a day or two for a cooling-off period. This way, your letter will reflect your ongoing feelings instead of reactive emotions. It can be the starting point for a mutually beneficial conversation that will get you back on track.
Just Say No To Guilt Based Requests If you feel you are being manipulated and have no choice to comply, stand firm. They might cry, threaten to hurt themselves, say that no one loves them, or remind you of the times that they helped you. But by telling guilt-trippers no without guilt or excuses, they will either find another victim to harass or will realize that these methods aren’t healthy or effective.
Don’t Walk On Eggshells Around Angry People If someone displays their anger in a physical way, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. However, if it is someone who just gets mad at the slightest provocation but rarely takes responsibility themselves, then release the fantasy that you will find the winning combination that will finally make them happy and peaceful. They most likely will need professional therapy. Tip-toeing around until they calm down doesn’t help anyone.
Stand Your Ground Accusatory people are always looking for a fight, tell them firmly that they are mistaken in their accusations but do not engage in an argument or wander off-topic. Do not engage in blaming wars or you will get into an unending battle.
Stop Trying To Rescue Victim-Martyr Types Since whatever advice you suggest will most likely be met with “I’ve already tried that, it doesn’t work.” It is best not to invest a lot of time into trying to provide a solution to their problem. Once victim-martyrs sense that you are out of ideas to help, they will move on to bending someone else’s ear about their current problem.
Remove Yourself From A Relationship When You Notice A Red Flag Take your time to get to know someone before you fully commit to a relationship. At the first red-flag, such as not honoring a commitment, or showing a lack of respect; extricate yourself from the relationship immediately before getting any more involved.
As a compassionate, openhearted soul, you want to give. It’s in your nature to care for others and ensure their health and happiness. Occasionally others may take advantage of your kindness which is why it is so important to enforce your boundaries in all of your relationships.
It may feel uncomfortable for you to put these rules into effect, it might feel like you are placing conditions on how you will help people, but if you refuse to do so, you’ll deplete your own energy reserves very quickly. It all boils down to respect. If the people in your life truly care about you, they’ll respect your decisions.
I know I’ve already spoke about Kanye West before so I’m not gonna discuss what I’ve already spoke about. Instead I thought i’d focus on the Yeezus album. Only Yeezus, I’m not gonna talk about anything else. Now I thought I’d focus on music tonight because I’ve just watched a documentary about Kanye West and it’s inspiring as fuck. Such motivation and confidence in his own ability is contagious. Also, my recent blog about sexuality was a bit heavy so tonight’s is easier.
So Yeezus is Kanye’s latest album and it dropped June 18th last year. I actually can’t believe this album is a year old. Lasting just over 40 minutes, Yeezus contains 10 tracks, starting with On Sight (a hard-hitting intro) and ending with Bound 2 (a shoutout to the old Kanye). The overall feeling of Yeezus is that it’s an artist saying “fuck you” to anyone who thinks they know him. Just as the rest of hip-hop are catching up with MBDTF (His previous album) he reinvents hip-hop. He reinvents pop music.
Kind of sounding like a sci-fi industrial factory, Kanye opens with On Sight, a track with amazing lyrics and a shoutout to Johnny Cochrane (OJs lawyer). About 1/3 into the track he adds a slow interlude before swerving that and switching back to the original beat. I swear he is the king of beats man. The second track, Black Skinhead (BLKKK SKKKNHEAD), is a fucking beastly track. The beat hits you hard from the beginning and I guarantee the anger in his voice will inspire you do whatever it is that you’re doing. If you’re listening to this track while making a sandwich that sandwich is gonna be one fucking inspired sandwich. I dare you to not feel badass listening to it. He even reinvents history to suit his lyrical needs the crazy psycho genius. In case, after these 2 tracks, you’re still wondering what it is that Kanye thinks he is, he’s about to fucking tell you. I Am A God follows, confirming that he is a fucking God, and you’re his fucking disciple and you better “hurry up with” his “damn croissants”. Maybe that is why he can reinvent the Battle of Thermopylae, because he’s a God. Tbf to Kanye though he gives credit to Jesus, admitting he’s the “most high” but Kanye knows he’s pretty fucking close. Kanye gets political, New Slaves, with an appearance from Frank Ocean, talks about society. No, slaves aren’t literally picking cotton anymore, but they’re all slaves to industries spending all their money on what’s hot. The irony of course is that Kanye is the guy who decides what’s hot. But we’ll let that slide cause he goes in fucking hard on this track. Just so you know, you can’t fuck with ‘Ye. I’ve mentioned Chief Keef before (the legend) and he features on Hold My Liquor, a slower track with a slightly different feel. It feels different until the drop where it feels similar to On Sight; a simplistic beat with focus on the lyrics. Tupac gets a mention and so do the Red Octobers. This track is definitely one of my favourites because of the ending. Cool as shit. I’m In It comes next and it’s dope as fuck. 'Ye is rhyming all kinds of words and dominating. The best lyric on the album is on this track (“Eating Asian pussy all I need is sweet and sour sauce” - tell me that’s not amazing). The middle eight is sound, and I bet once you know the lyrics you’ll sing along in the same high pitched voice. Listening to it now this track is the most sexual, but fuck you it’s great. Seriously, every time Kanye goes back in it’s anticipated. The word “finna” makes an appearance too which is sick. This song has the best lyrics on the album, fo sho. My favourite song to play on guitar, Blood on the Leaves comes next. I don’t know if he reads my blog but shoutout to Aaron for showing me this song. Anyway, Kanye samples Strange Fruit, originally a poem written about lynching. This is my favourite poem because it’s powerful as fuck, and therefore this track is BOUND 2 be good (Kanye West pun, hail me HAHAHAHA). Guilt Trip is my least fave song on the album but it’s still good, that’s how good this album is. The beat sounds a bit like Heartless (808s & Heartbreaks) with a Yeezus twist. Not much to say really, the song isn’t a filler it’s just not my fave. However, Chewbacca gets a mention so I’m glad Kanye and I both like Star Wars. Send It Up is kind of like I’m In It. It’s got a cool hook and some clever lyrics. Yeah actually that’s a great shout, it’s kind of like a sequel, it’s about how fucking dominant Kanye is and he’ll show you by making you leave your friends outside the club. THEY AIN’T RALPH THO’. The closing track, Bound 2, is definitely my favourite overall. Not only is it reminiscent of Kanye’s earlier work AKA soul samples, it’s also a love song. I mean, it is technically I suppose. It’s like a rapper’s sonnet. Think of Shakespeare if he was a gang member and into rap. I also like it because I can kind of play it on keyboard. However, Sigma thought they’d fucking ruin it didn’t they the little cunts with their shitty drum and bass, chase and status wannabe, annoying, cunty beat. Woah, Ryan, calm down. They did though. Anyway, back to Bound 2. The song is great, again, clever lyrics for days. The hook is catchy as fuck and the video is so painfully shit that it’s amazing. Also, Seth Rogen and James Franco recreated it which is an instant win. This song is kind of like Kanye saying “hey critics, i know you’re about to say I’ve lost it and can’t do the old me, well fuck you, yes I can and here’s evidence you dicks”.
Guys, listen to the album, not on shuffle either. What happened to the days of listening to an entire album the whole way through before picking your favourite songs? The whole concept of the album is reducing the amount of information but keeping the same quality and integrity, which, I think he does masterfully.