Fic: Guilt (1/2)

A Chris Evans Fanfic

Note: A follow up to the Fix You series and The Bitter Truth. Thanks for reading :) xx

Warnings: language, angst, self-loathe


“What’s the diagnosis, doc?”

Chris craned his neck to see Natalia advancing towards him through squinted eyes. The November sun was beating down on his face, blinding him, but the cautious look on her face as she came down the driveway was hard to miss. Guilt settled in his chest.

With his hands planted on the hood of Abby’s car, Chris forced the tiniest of smiles to do his part in easing her mind. “The brake pads are worn like I suspected,” he answered, popping the top open, “but Gary said he’d be able to set aside some time in the morning to put ‘er up on the lift for a full assessment.”

Natalia’s lips pinched together as she chewed the inside of her cheek, nodding. She handed him the chilled beer bottle she had grabbed out of the fridge the second she heard him return home after test running Abby’s car. She smiled at the polite thanks he uttered, and watched him twist off the cap with expertise before he took a long, thirsty swig.

“Did he say how long that’d take?” She crossed her arms when a slight breeze circulated around her. “‘Cuz Abby’s appointment got rescheduled to 11:30; she’s gonna need the car.”

Keep reading

Just learn to say no and do so without explanation.

if you just binged its ok. you are ok. you can feel the food crawling up your throat, you are overwhelmed by guilt, but you are ok. i swear, its fine. in 20 min go drink water, take a shower if you can, sometimes water can wash away the sticky feeling of previous events. you are forgiven. forgive yourself. you are good. you are forgiven. you are beautiful. you are forgiven. you are forgiven


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Your Letters Helped Challenger Shuttle Engineer Shed 30 Years Of Guilt
After NPR reported Bob Ebeling's story on the anniversary of the Challenger explosion, hundreds of people responded. Ebeling, now 89, says those letters "helped bring my worrisome mind to ease."

When NPR reported Bob Ebeling’s story on the 30th anniversary of the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger, hundreds of listeners and readers expressed distress and sympathy in letters and emails.

On Jan. 27, 1986, the former engineer for shuttle contractor Morton Thiokol had joined four colleagues in trying to keep Challenger grounded. They argued for hours that the launch the next morning would be the coldest ever. Freezing temperatures, their data showed, stiffened rubber O-rings that keep burning rocket fuel from leaking out of the joints in the shuttle’s boosters.

But NASA officials rejected that data, and Thiokol executives overruled Ebeling and the other engineers.

How to Cope with Guilt Feelings

1. Try and work out why you feel so guilty. Make a list of all the things you feel guilty about. Try and work out which item sparks the strongest reaction. That’s probably the item to focus on.

2. Rate it on a scale of 1-10. That will help you to assess how bad it really was – as sometimes we feel guilty about stupid, minor things.

3. Think through what you can do. Think of actions you can take to try and make things a bit better – even if deep down you know that you can never make things right. It will bring some relief, and will strengthen your resolve to do things differently another time.

4. If your guilt is “false guilt” (so you just generally feel guilty), consider working with a counsellor. You may have developed a shame based personality - so you basically feel worthless and inadequate.

5. Forgive yourself. You can’t turn back the clock. What’s done is done. But you can start again and try to be a different person. Let it go, don’t think about it. The future is what counts.