guido sarducci

Little Known Brief Menswear Tales: Transcript of Part 1 of the Pitti Uomo 88 Twitter Interview with Lino Ieluzzi

Me: Well, due to technical difficulties and…frankly…criminal behavior…our interview was delayed, but Pitti Uomo style icon Lino Ieluzzi is finally here with me at the wonderful Hotel Lungarno.

Me: Ciao, Lino.

Lino: Ciao, voxsartoria.  Hey, what kinda name is “voxsartoria?” It make-a no sense.  Is-a that your parents name-a, “voxsartoria?”

Me: No, no…you can call me Bill.  Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed.

Lino: Bwill? Bwill?

Me: No, no…“Bill.”  There’s no “w.”

Lino: Ahhh…Bwwwwill. Nice-a to meet you.

Me: So, Lino, what is your role in the menswear industry?

Lino: You mean-a, like-a job?

Me: Yes, job or role, or activity…I believe you own the shop al Bazar and consult with various menswear companies?

Lino: Do you have-a job?

Me: Well, I do lots of things, but only things that I like and really nothing for money.

Lino: Aha! That is what I-a do!  Things I like, and no make-a money.

Me: Do you not own and operate al Bazar?

Lino: “al Bazar?” Never heard of it.  What is it? A falafel shop?  You know the falafel?  It’s like-a vegetarian meatball. Tasty.

Me: Lino, you are one of the most photographed men in the world. Your style is synonymous with Pitti Uomo. What is your style?

Lino: You also have lotsa photographs on Interwebs, but you photograph yourself, is that right?

Me: Uhm…yes, that is basically and shamefully correct.

Lino: You use-a the selfie-stick? You know what I’m-a talkin’ about, right? It’s this stick and you put your cell phone at the end of it.

Me: I’ve seen those, but no, I don’t use them.

Lino: Well, most of the Oriental signore who ask to take pictures with me use it.  It is a clever device.

Me: Ahhh…let’s move on to another topic. You are well known for unique style elements, some of which have influenced many.

Lino: You talk-a about my tan? I have no tan, that is how I born. Mama mia worked in the fields every day when I was a bambino. You know, bambino in-a her tummy?  So, I was born with this color.  Not a tan.

Me: Well, I was actually referring to such things as the number seven on your ties, and your unbuckled double monk shoes.

Lino: I no buckle because I got it, the diabetes.  If I buckle, then I crumple…you get that?  It kinda rhymes.

Me: Moving on, where do you find inspiration?

Lino: I am a big fan of the Marvel movies.  I not-a care that the plots make no sense.  That Black Widow…basta! basta!

Me: Could you pose with this old photograph of you?

Lino: Sure, you want-a me to stand-a like this?

Me: Perfect, thank you.  Is there anything else you would like to say to the followers on Twitter?

Lino: To be made a saint in-a the Catholic church, you have to have-a four miracles. That’s-a the rules, you know. It’s-a always been that-a way. Four miracles, and-a to prove it. Well, this-a Mother Seton-now they could only prove-a three miracles. But the Pope-he just waved the fourth one. He just waved it! And…

Me: Wait a second…are you quoting Father Guido Sarducci?

Lino: Ha, ha…you-a caught me! I admit-a, I getta kinda tired of interviews.  Need to spice it up sometime.

Me: Lino, I look forward to part two of our live Twitter interview tomorrow.

Lino: Sure thing.  Who are you again?

Part 2 of the interview tomorrow, to be held atop the Cupola of the Duomo

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New Year’s Eve: kinda the biggest holiday in Dead-dom. Dig this one from 1985, completely over the top, with equally bonkers commentary from Ken Kesey and Friar Guido Sarducci. Bill Graham (Father Time) pops out of a giant cake; balloons, parade, Midnight Hour. Good Ol’ Grateful Dead.

Happy New Year!

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Upon my five year anniversary from graduating college, I can report with confidence this is 100% accurate.

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Father Guido Sarducci on Art School.