Little Known Brief Menswear Tales: Transcript of Part 1 of the Pitti Uomo 88 Twitter Interview with Lino Ieluzzi
Me: Well, due to technical difficulties and…frankly…criminal behavior…our interview was delayed, but Pitti Uomo style icon Lino Ieluzzi is finally here with me at the wonderful Hotel Lungarno.
Me: Ciao, Lino.
Lino: Ciao, voxsartoria. Hey, what kinda name is “voxsartoria?” It make-a no sense. Is-a that your parents name-a, “voxsartoria?”
Me: No, no…you can call me Bill. Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed.
Lino: Bwill? Bwill?
Me: No, no…“Bill.” There’s no “w.”
Lino: Ahhh…Bwwwwill. Nice-a to meet you.
Me: So, Lino, what is your role in the menswear industry?
Lino: You mean-a, like-a job?
Me: Yes, job or role, or activity…I believe you own the shop al Bazar and consult with various menswear companies?
Lino: Do you have-a job?
Me: Well, I do lots of things, but only things that I like and really nothing for money.
Lino: Aha! That is what I-a do! Things I like, and no make-a money.
Me: Do you not own and operate al Bazar?
Lino: “al Bazar?” Never heard of it. What is it? A falafel shop? You know the falafel? It’s like-a vegetarian meatball. Tasty.
Me: Lino, you are one of the most photographed men in the world. Your style is synonymous with Pitti Uomo. What is your style?
Lino: You also have lotsa photographs on Interwebs, but you photograph yourself, is that right?
Me: Uhm…yes, that is basically and shamefully correct.
Lino: You use-a the selfie-stick? You know what I’m-a talkin’ about, right? It’s this stick and you put your cell phone at the end of it.
Me: I’ve seen those, but no, I don’t use them.
Lino: Well, most of the Oriental signore who ask to take pictures with me use it. It is a clever device.
Me: Ahhh…let’s move on to another topic. You are well known for unique style elements, some of which have influenced many.
Lino: You talk-a about my tan? I have no tan, that is how I born. Mama mia worked in the fields every day when I was a bambino. You know, bambino in-a her tummy? So, I was born with this color. Not a tan.
Me: Well, I was actually referring to such things as the number seven on your ties, and your unbuckled double monk shoes.
Lino: I no buckle because I got it, the diabetes. If I buckle, then I crumple…you get that? It kinda rhymes.
Me: Moving on, where do you find inspiration?
Lino: I am a big fan of the Marvel movies. I not-a care that the plots make no sense. That Black Widow…basta! basta!
Me: Could you pose with this old photograph of you?
Lino: Sure, you want-a me to stand-a like this?
Me: Perfect, thank you. Is there anything else you would like to say to the followers on Twitter?
Lino: To be made a saint in-a the Catholic church, you have to have-a four miracles. That’s-a the rules, you know. It’s-a always been that-a way. Four miracles, and-a to prove it. Well, this-a Mother Seton-now they could only prove-a three miracles. But the Pope-he just waved the fourth one. He just waved it! And…
Me: Wait a second…are you quoting Father Guido Sarducci?
Lino: Ha, ha…you-a caught me! I admit-a, I getta kinda tired of interviews. Need to spice it up sometime.
Me: Lino, I look forward to part two of our live Twitter interview tomorrow.
Lino: Sure thing. Who are you again?
Part 2 of the interview tomorrow, to be held atop the Cupola of the Duomo
New Year’s Eve: kinda the biggest holiday in Dead-dom. Dig this one from 1985, completely over the top, with equally bonkers commentary from Ken Kesey and Friar Guido Sarducci. Bill Graham (Father Time) pops out of a giant cake; balloons, parade, Midnight Hour. Good Ol’ Grateful Dead.