A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)
Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.
1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.
2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.
3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.
4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.
5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.
get some water, leave it out under the moonlight, for as little as an hour to as long as all night, as long as it feels charged. bottle it before it touches direct sunlight, keep it in a shadowy place.
what can i use moon water for?
moon water is called for in a lot of spells, but it can also be used in potions, cleansing, bath spells, anything you might need the moon’s power for.
does it have to be done during the full moon?
it can be done during any phase, but keep in mind, each phase will rend different properties. full moon water will have different magical properties than moon water made during the new moon or a quarter moon, or a waxing or waning moon. here’s a quick guide on each phases’ meanings
what can you put it in and what can’t you?
you can put herbs in it if you like, i would avoid putting crystals in it because that can damage them and make them dissolve and it could make the water toxic, etc. most edible herbs are fine though!
does it need direct moonlight at all times?
it does not need to be direct moonlight constantly, after it’s charged, if you don’t need to recharge it unless you can’t feel its energy anymore.
does being in the sun negate the moon water’s magic?
according to some witches it doesn’t, but according to others being in the sun will make it sun water, or sun&moon water. ultimately this is up to you.
there’s light pollution/something blocking the moon, will it still work?
thankfully light bounces off stuff, including the moon’s! it might not be as possibly potent as you could make it, but in which case you could leave it out a little bit longer.
can you use snow/rain/storm/etc water to make moon water?
you can use whatever kind of magical water you want to make a combination of waters, snow-moon water, storm-moon water, etc. however, keep in mind it may give the moon water a bit of an extra magical quality.
do i have to use a clear bottle/jar?
if the light can shine through it, it’ll work.
you can make it with whatever kind of bottle you like as long as the light can touch the water in some ways.
digital Artists!! Are you tired of restarting your tablet drivers??
So as you should all know, if your Wacom tablet is acting up (pen pressure stops, it glitches, or just won’t work) then the first thing to do is: unplug, plug back in, and restart the tablet driver!!
Here’s how people usually do it:
But it’s a bit of a hassle to pull up the services app every time, especially if your computer is slow like mine, and can’t handle a lot of programs at once, the poor thing.
Here’s how you SHOULD do it:
1: Open up notepad (you know, the simplest program on windows?) and write these exact three lines. Simple!
Don’t be scared! This is basically just some simple code that will restart the Wacom tablet drivers!
((I have an intuos pro, so I’m not sure if the service name is different for other tablets. You can double check, but it should be the same. You can see that the service name in my text file is the same as the one in the first screenshot! Cool!)
2: Save that bad-boy as a .bat file, and don’t forget to set the type to “All Files” or else I’ll come to your house and slap you! :3c
((We want to save it as a .bat file, so that it can actually run the code!! And don’t worry, the name doesn’t matter!! Feel free to name it something silly :D))
3: Slap that sucker on your desktop for easy access, and give it a good ol’ double click when your tablet is being rebellious!! A lil black box should pop up, and voila! Tablet (hopefully) fixed!!
This is so much nicer than waiting for the services app to pop up, and having to wait through a loading bar! You still gotta restart your art program (sadly), but this is just so much more convenient! I usually restart the drivers once every few hours while drawing, or just when it starts to get sluggish!
Have fun drawing with pen pressure, lightning speed, and all that good stuff!! <3
Hey folks, Paul here for (a late) Tutor Tuesday! A few things to note:
A friend was over watching me make this… she and I joked that when I fill in for Meg, I should call it SUBSTI-TUESDAY. I like it!
The example image features my cat Calvin. If you’re wondering why the orb doesn’t have a reflection, clearly, it’s a ghost.
If you have any questions about Photoshop’s interface, feel free to send a message! That said, be sure to value artistic principles over software specifics–the software could change next week, but the principles are timeless.
Hi guys! This week Rosie and I discuss what it’s like being gay in school! OUR NEW MERCH STORE GOES LIVE TOMORROW! That’s Valentine’s Day, so if you’re stuck for ideas because you’re shit, there’s your answer! Make sure to leave a comment below about your experiences in school!
It’s been a while since I’ve made a witchy post. This past full moon, I spent a good deal of time designing a complex spell. You can see the pages I brainstormed for a complex spell above.
For the sake of this post, a complex spell:
is sometimes cast to achieve long-term results, without having to consistently recast the spell
requires a lot of magical energy
consists of multiple steps, or possibly multiple spells cast in succession
I highly recommend that experienced witches cast these types of spells, mainly because they have the ability to completely drain you. And I don’t want any of you harming your lovely selves!
This post is a guide or, at the very least, food for thought on how to design complex spells. As an example I will use the most recent spell I designed, a spell to worry less about what others think of me.
Step 1: Determine exactly what kind of spell(s) you wish to cast, and in what order.
For example, I created a spell to worry less about what others think of me. But in witchcraft terms, what exactly am I doing? Is it banishment, where I force others to turn their opinions away from me? Is it protecting myself from others’ opinions? Is it cleansing myself from the effect that others have on me? Is it an anti-anxiety spell, or a confidence spell? There’s a lot to consider here that can’t be covered in a single step. Think hard about exactly what you want to achieve. This is a very critical step, so do some brainstorming or sit on it if you must.
Eventually I decided to imitate the weight of others’ opinions on me, cleanse myself of their affect, protect myself from their affect, and then banish others’ affect on me. ( I figured that other peoples’ opinions will be there whether I banish them or not, so I might as well protect myself from them before banishing them from my mind, in a sense.) There are many other ways I could’ve done this spell that would’ve changed the overall intent. But notice how I’m including four spells into one ritual: simulating peoples’ attention on me, cleansing myself, protecting myself, and a banishing at the end.
Step 2: Decide which actions to perform.
In my opinion, action is just as important (if not more) than ingredients in spell work. The action determines what you do with the ingredients you decide on doing. For each spell/step, brainstorm a couple options you could potentially do for that step. Here’s my example:
Ridding Scrutiny: burning, crushing, ripping, trapping in a jar, burying, locking away, cutting, throwing into the wind or into a body of water, snuffing out a candle.
Once you’ve got some potential actions written down, you can decide on which one works best for your particular spell.
Step 3: Decide on materials for each step.
For this step, I advise that you coincide the magical properties of the materials to the purpose of the spell. For example, I had originally thought of ripping up rose petals for the banishing spell, but later decided that that wouldn’t work. Roses symbolize love and peace, and it makes no sense to banish that from my life, when I really want to banish the weight of other peoples’ expectations set on me.
Now that you know exactly what your intentions are, and what actions you’ll be doing with the materials, it’ll be easier to decide on which ingredients to use when. These ingredients don’t only include herbs or crystals–I included mirrors, sticky notes, cleaning wipes, washcloth, and anything else I needed.
I know these are listed as only three basic steps, but hopefully it helps you form an idea on how to design complex spells. If you have any extra ideas or questions, add on to this post, or message me anytime. ☆=(ゝω･)/
That’s all from me for now! Blessed be!! ( ´ ∀｀) /．☆．。．:*･°
A very simple guide on sewing/making bloomers. I tried my best to explain it to the best of my own capabilities but I’ve included the pattern guide, where to be cutting and sewing, and how to use elastic with this! I’ve included a very simple quickie on how the measurements are applied to making the bloomers :) (4 pages total) Both sketched out diagrams and real images taken during my own progress on making them! I hope this guide proves useful. Happy sewing!
trying to decide what stim toy you want? i’m here to help !!
(note: this is based off me n a few others’ experiences)
other moving part toys
Pros: -easy to get your hands on -typically not expensive -wide variety
Cons: -not very discreet
a popular, well-liked type of stim toy! good for keeping focused, self regulation, and they’re pretty fun to play with ! there’s quite a variety of them out there, some may not even be marketed as stim toys (ex: plastic toys from stores).
chew jewelry (necklaces/bracelets)
Pros: -meant for chewing! you won’t break em -no more chewing on wires/fingernails/etc -jewelry can be designed nicely to look like regular jewelry
Cons: -actual chew jewelry/toys are harder to get and can be pricey -teether rings aren’t discreet
many autistic people never outgrew the instinct/need to put thing in their mouth or chew on things! and some other nd people chew for other reasons! that’s what these are for! plus, they can also help with anger management! tip: if you don’t want people to see your chew necklace, tuck it under your shirt and chew when you’re alone/no one’s looking!
moni moni animals
stretchy rubber toys
Pros: -fairly easy to get -inexpensive -stress balls are a “normal office toy” (less chance of judgement)
Cons: -monis and rubber toys aren’t as discreet
a calming stim! very soothing, good for relieving stress and anxiety. i like to roll my moni moni animal between my hands a lot!
weighted lap pads
weighted stuffed animals
Pros: -fantastic sensory input -good for insomnia
Cons: -harder to get -pricey -not discreet
i LOVE weighted stuff!!it’s a great feeling. super calming and soothing. really good for helping you sleep!!
stuffed animals/plush toys
Pros: -very easy to get -varying prices
Cons: -not discreet -seen as immature and babyish (unfortunately)
plushies!! super important. super good. soft, huggable, lovable things. many people have them as comfort items!! it’s so good to hug them and pet the fur
Pros: -wide variety -there are good textures in a lot of places! -spike toys are slightly painful and can leave little indents, which is a good alternative to self harm!
Cons: -spike toys are harder to get
textures!! we all know n love our textures. my favorite is fur!! sometimes i stim by petting my pets! (my hamster is especially good, she’s so soft!). textures are everywhere and everyone likes different things! but there’s also specific toys/tools that can help! like bristle brushes and spiked things!
Pros: -wide variety -easy to make -there are a lot of gifs online
Cons: -no tactile stimulation
popular!! easily found online, and easily made irl! fun things to watch. i especially love to watch fish tanks!
Slime, Sand, and Orbeez
Pros: -really fun -unique textures
Cons: -a stay-at-home toy -needs to be kept in a safe dry space -harder to get -messy -fancy slime is expensive
these things are the most popular in stimboards and videos, because they look so cool!! if you make your own, you can do whatever you want with it! they’re all really unique textures and feelings and super fun to play with! tip: be careful when using borax! it’s toxic
i hope this helps!! feel free to add on if you have anything!
Pylon @constablewrites here! You may know me as the one who likes sending people to TV Tropes. The site is a fantastic resource and can really help writers develop their understanding of story–but it can also be intimidating and frankly dangerous. So I’m here to share some wisdom not just about the site, but about the idea of tropes in the first place.
What is a trope?
Let’s start by defining terms here. For our purposes, a trope is a specific storytelling element that is recognizable in multiple works. The concept of having characters, of stories having acts like plays, of multiple plotlines, all those basic, fundamental concepts are technically tropes.
This is a very broad definition, but that’s on purpose. It’s difficult to discuss something that doesn’t have a name, so that’s what tropes are: a way to give names to those concepts and elements we recognize so we can talk about them, and so that we can be clear that we’re talking about the same thing.
But people talk about tropes like they’re a bad thing.
When someone uses “trope” in a pejorative way, they’re usually talking about a trope that is deployed uncritically, without new context. Tropes can very easily become cliches when they get regurgitated wholesale, but that does not make a trope inherently bad, and that doesn’t mean that new life can’t be breathed into tired tropes.
So why is it important to know tropes?
Essentially, it’s hard to break the rules effectively if you don’t know what they are. Media doesn’t exist in a vacuum; your story is in conversation with everything that came before and everything that will come after. You know that guy who tries to hide that he came to class late, until he smugly makes a point that was already thoroughly discussed 20 minutes ago? Don’t be that guy. (Want to know how many people are out there hawking Hunger Games clones who genuinely have no idea that franchise exists? It’s a much higher number than you just thought of, I promise you.)
What about originality? If it’s been done before it’s not original!
Think of tropes like Lego bricks. It’s not about what bits you have, it’s about how you put them together. That’s how you can take most of the same pieces from this:
…and end up with this:
Take a bunch of spy tropes that have been overused to the point of parody and give them to superheroes, and you have something that feels fresh. A stock character that’s usually male might look very different as a female, even if they otherwise fulfill the same role. Throwing film noir and detective tropes into a setting with magic and monsters invented a whole new genre. And so on. You don’t have to reinvent or twist every element to have something new; you can get just as much mileage out of turning a single trope on its head and thoroughly exploring the implications of that.
Ultimately, you can’t mess with audience expectations if you don’t know what they are. That one death in Avengers: Age of Ultron completely shocked me because the movie is screaming at the top of its lungs that it’s gonna kill a different character. (Worth noting is that I saw it with a friend who didn’t pick up on those cues at all, and thus had a completely different reaction. Knowing those expectations can cut both ways.) Tropes represent the shared language of storytelling that your readers have learned, consciously and subconsciously, and are bringing to the table. You need to understand that language if you want to speak to them effectively.
Hopefully now you understand why it might be beneficial to spend some time on TV Tropes. But don’t dive in just yet! Otherwise you’ll emerge blinking into the light a week later, muttering about egregious sliding scales and realizing that no one’s been feeding your cat and you probably don’t have a job anymore. Tune in next time where we’ll discuss how to use the site effectively and avoid the black hole.