I honestly now want the fic where Jack might be an extremely successful hockey player, etc, but for the rest of the world who don’t follow NHL and sport news, he’s Eric Bittle’s trophy husband.
Eric Bittle, who has his own Cooking Show, a Baking Contest Reality TV spin off, a chain of bakeries expanding all over the country, a series of books, and is a guest editor in some cooking magazines.
He’s Beyonce’s go to guy for Blue Ivy’s birthday cakes.
So yeah, his husband married him for the money. Never mind that they are college sweethearts and they married before Bitty had his big break.
And Bitty married him for his good looks. I mean Jack looks like a model, has that amazing bod and booty and is pretty much silent anytime they are in front of the cameras, it is clear he’s the classic dumb jock stereotype.
Bitty always gets extremely offended by that, Jack thinks it’s hilarious. He might play it up sometimes just to get out of interviews.
Jack always endlessly amused that the paparazzi that follow them are there for Bitty. They don’t particularly care about Jack. Their photos appear in the magazines as “Eric Bittle and husband.”
Jack has managed his life long dream of achieving invisibility in the media by marrying somebody who overshadows him. It is everything he ever wanted. He brags about it to anybody who will listen.
Bitty remains annoyed.
Once they are home, after going to a premiere of something/red carpet event.
“You have won 3 Stanley Cups! One two weeks ago! Why don’t they ask you about that? They only asked you what you were wearing!”
“Hugo Boss” Jack says without missing a bit.
“You could try not to make it so easy for them.”
“You are enjoying this too much.”
“Besides Bitty, you ordered a Pumpkin Spice drink today and went to do your own grocery shopping, how could I compare to that?”
“Jack this isn’t funny! I’m proud of you and I want them to know that.”
“I’m proud of you too, I mean, look at you walking down the street with sunglasses on.”
“I hate you.”
“Oh look, you are cheating on me with Shitty, Ransom, and Chowder… oh, also with Lardo? Bitty, I could forgive the first three, but not Lardo!”
“That’s it, you cannot buy anymore tabloids.”
“But Bitty! This magazine says we are getting a divorce! If I hadn’t bought the magazine, I wouldn’t have known to start packing my bags. Also, I apparently didn’t sign any prenup, so you owe me a lot of money.”
“Hola and welcome to FourFourTwo (or should that be FourThreeThree?!). My first interview with the magazine was in 2006, and since then I’ve been interviewed a few times. But this is the first time I’ve been guest editor, and what a privilege it is.
“As well as the main cover interview in which I discuss a selection of my career highlights, there’s a piece on the other members of the 500-goal club (which I had the great honour of joining during the week that I edited the magazine) and a look back at the La Masia team I played in, featuring Cesc Fabregas and Gerard Pique to name but two of a host of team-mates who were brilliant both on and off the field.
“We also went over to Milan to speak to my former Argentina captain Javier Zanetti, while Ronaldinho picks his Perfect XI – here’s hoping I’ve made the cut…” - Leo Messi
For today’s look at Random Contemporary Composers, I thought I’d share an interesting find that I discovered a few months ago. Elena Ruehr is a composer, faculty member of MIT, and a fellow of Harvard’s Radcliffe Institute. In 2011, she wrote this short cello concerto, that is based off of one of the stories in David Mitchell’s 2004 book Cloud Atlas. This book is probably my top favorite, so I was happy to see someone had written music inspired by it. The novel follows six different stories set in different time periods, from the 1800s to the 2100s or beyond [it is unclear]. One of the futuristic stories follows a clone, Somni-451, who is kept in slavery with other clones, but eventually she gains self awareness and breaks out of the pattern, working toward leading a revolution. In this concerto, the cello acts as a musical portrayal of Somni-451, and while the music is tonal and in thinner textures, it is harmonically dense, and glides through different environments like a long river.
Today on musicainextenso,
Jennifer Kloetzel, cello
Gil Rose with the Boston Modern Orchestra Project
Thank you for tuning for Random Contemporary Composers this week! Stay tuned for next week where we will have a guest editor to talk about the importance of music education.
It’s time to close our special Harp Music Week, here on Musica in Extenso! For the final post I choose a work from a famous and prodigious composer, Claude Debussy.
Today on Musica in Extenso:
Sonata for Flute, Viola and Harp
One of the most unknown and underrated chamber works by Debussy. It has an unusual instrument combination, chosen by Debussy as a best for the mood of the piece. Changing between pleasant and dissonant, with unique chord progressions, it’s truly a gem of early 20th century chamber music. The link will take you to a split 3 part recording, I chose this one because it’s simply the best one.
Thank you for your attention and special thanks to the Editorial Board! Have a beautiful weekend!
Malcolm Tucker is back, sorta. Creator Armando Iannucci is guest editor of The Big Issue this week and he’s pitting two of his characters against one another in the final Brexit debate. I predict Malcolm wipes the floor with Partridge.
Of course, y'all know that Malcolm Tucker never went away. He lives in rewatches of The Thick of It & In the Loop as well as in the pages of glorious fanfic. And don’t forget, Malcolm Tucker rages on every Tuesday via countless fans through their dedicated observance of The Capaldian Calendar.
Set Designer Jesse Kaufmann works with photographer Steven Klein, editor Patti Wilson, guest editor Lady Gaga and Daphne Guinness on the story “Lee, Issie, Daphne, Gaga, and Me” for V Magazine #99, Spring Preview 2016.
Over the last three years, Lynne M. Thomas & Michael Damian Thomas ran Kickstarters for the Hugo Award-winning Uncanny Magazine Years One, Two, and Three. We promised to bring you stunning cover art, passionate science fiction and fantasy fiction and poetry, gorgeous prose, and provocative nonfiction by writers from every conceivable background. Not to mention a fantastic podcast featuring exclusive content. Through the hard work of our exceptional staff and contributors, Uncanny Magazine delivered on that promise. All that fantastic Uncanny Magazinecontent is freely available over the web and available as eBooks, thanks to your support. The Space Unicorn Ranger Corps, the Uncanny Magazine community, made it possible for our remarkable staff and contributors to create this wonderful art for all of our readers. THANK YOU, SPACE UNICORNS.
This year, we’re back with a new mission, passed along from Lightspeed Magazine. It’s Uncanny’s turn to Destroy Science Fiction.
Uncanny Magazine proudly presents a special issue: Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction!Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction will be in the same vein as the previous Destroy special issues (Women Destroy Science Fiction, Queers Destroy Science Fiction, and People of Colo(u)r Destroy Science Fiction), featuring editors, writers (both solicited and unsolicited), and artists with representation from all across the sliding scale of disability.
There is already a stellar team of guest editors in place for this special issue including:
From Guest Editors-in-Chief Elsa Sjunneson-Henry and Dominik Parisien:
Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction is a continuation of the Destroy series in which we, disabled members of the science fiction community, will put ourselves where we belong: at the center of the story. Often, disabled people are an afterthought, a punchline, or simply forgotten in the face of new horizons, scientific discovery, or magical invention. We intend to destroy ableism and bring forth voices, narratives, and truths most important to disabled writers, editors, and creators with this special issue.
Disabled People Destroy will feature solicited work from the following authors and artist:
Stories: Rachel Swirsky, Nisi Shawl, William Alexander, and more from open submissions!
Essays: Fran Wilde, Mishell Baker, Alice Wong , and more from open submissions!
Poems: Bogi Takács, Rose Lemberg, Khairani Barokka, and more from open submissions!
We have an outstanding group of solicited contributors, fantastic backer rewards, plus some additional surprises on deck for the rest of Year Four, too!
Year Four Editors: Editors-in-Chief: Lynne M. Thomas and Michael Damian Thomas
Managing Editor: Michi Trota
Reprint/Poetry Editor: Mimi Mondal
Interviewer: Shana DuBois
Podcast Producer: Erika Ensign Podcast Producer: Steven Schapansky
We have an additional SHARED-WORLD DINOSAUR THEME issue this year, too. The Dinosaur Writers Special Shared-Universe Dinosaur Issue Contributors: Sam J. Miller, Brooke Bolander, Mari Ness, A. Merc Rustad & Elsa Sjunneson-Henry, JY Yang, K.M. Szpara, and Nicasio Andres Reed !
There will also be more slots for unsolicited submissions. We reopen to regular submissions once we reach our first funding milestone. The specific call for submissions for Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction will come in early 2018. As always, we’re deeply committed to finding and showcasing new voices in our genre from around the world.
How We’ll Use the Funding:
Our current funding goal ($22,000) is for the current version of Uncanny, with a theme issue for Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction. This goal pays for all six issues of Uncanny Year Four, including (at minimum) per issue: 25,000 words of new fiction (5-6 stories, depending on length) , a reprint story, reprint cover art, 4 new poems, 4 new nonfiction essays, and 2 new interviews. This is the size the magazine has grown to thanks to ongoing community support.
Our Year Four budget for this Kickstarter reflects our current content levels. We pay our writers $.08 per word for original fiction, our poets $30 per poem, our essayists $50 per essay, and our artists $100 per reprinted artwork.
In addition to paying our content contributors (upon acceptance!), our initial Year Four budget includes: Paying our staff (Editors-in Chief, Managing Editor, Poetry/Reprint Editor, Podcast Producers and Readers, Interviewer, and the Disabled People Destroy Editorial Team) , podcast production and hosting costs , website hosting and maintenance costs , backer rewards, and Kickstarter fees and taxes. Our Years One, Two, and Three backers were so generous we reached all our stretch goals, which added additional stories and essays to each issue. Our awesome backers also sponsored several pieces of original cover art.
$25,000 Disabled People Destroy Science fiction DOUBLE ISSUE
$27,000 Original cover art from an artist to be determined
$29,000 Original cover art from a second artist
$30,000 Exclusive access to a key that unlocks Cassandra Khaw’s “Auntie Jaeger” Game for all backers! The game: Two sisters –a truck driver and a housewife– fend off a Kaiju apocalypse in the Great Smoky Mountains with their mech Mama Possum. A story of family, grief, and survival, it forms a part of what is currently nicknamed the ’“Jaeger Aunties” universe, which is essentiallyPacific Rim with more horror, more diversity, and more middle-aged people being totally bad-ass as a squad.
$35,000 Original cover art from a third artist
$45,000 PRINTED PHYSICAL COPIES of the Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction special issue for backers at $50 and above! If we reach this goal, you will be able to change your pledge to receive a copy of the book. We promise.
Hello! My name is Rylan Gleave and this week I will be the guest-editor of this new edition of Composer Portraits. Join us for this exciting week with contemporary music from me.
Today on Musica in Extenso:
Vitare [to avoid]
For flute, oboe, clarinet in Bb, born in F, bassoon and piano
A work for attempting to understand more comprehensive textures in my writing, this piece used clear motivic material and block-type sections, to embody the firm reluctance I felt when trying to engage in conversation that had any depth, with someone I was growing further and further apart from.
The faster music builds in dynamic and intensity but ultimately always culminates in the same pathetic repeated note sequence over sustained chords, that regresses back to the opening material, the unwillingness to change. The ending is particularly feeble, and represents how much relief and release was felt after the climactic point, a particular argument where we parted ways.
The audio file was created using NotePerformer, as I am still awaiting the first performance.
Dear Followers, this week we will continue our Composer Portraits series with the creation of a young contemporary composer, here at Musica in Extenso. As you observed, this week celebrates a special event and an exclusive edition of our most-followed series, because this time we will have as a guest-editor “The Faceless Pianist”(E. L. Scott).
Today on Musica in Extenso:
1st Movement, Andante in E Minor
part of a larger composition which included “Rebirth 2nd Movement,
Allegretto in B Minor”, this piece marks my return to composition after an
almost 10 year hiatus. As part of the larger composition “Rebirth”,
it initially included parts written for nylon guitar, flute, clarinet, cello,
and violin. After struggling to balance these instruments and their parts, I
decided to scrap my work, and break “Rebirth” down into the 1st and
2nd movements, as well as a prelude that would all be written exclusively for
piano. This decision was based on my desire to master the fundamentals of
composition by concentrating on one specific instrument. The challenge then
became to funnel the main characteristics of all those previous parts into a
piano piece which captured their essence without becoming convoluted or losing the
accomplished this by splitting all the parts in to 2 categories: those which
formed the simple, repetitive, and droning progression created by the guitar,
cello, and violin and those which formed the delicate flowing melodies and
harmonies created by the flute and clarinet. No easy feat for a composer with
no formal training. The final product is a result of honing my skills in
composition, theory, and notation. But most importantly, I had to learn how to
properly compose for piano. From my return to composition to the final form of
this piece passed about 2 years. For me this time was literally a rebirth of my
own lost love of music, struggling to find my style and learn as much as