guess-what-guys

In my general area, a shirtless white guy wearing a kilt was walking around the city threatening people with a axe and knife he was carrying. He got shot by the cops and died. Apparently the cops DID try to de-escalate and use non-lethal force first, according to several witnesses, but the guy was literally going after them with the knife and axe.

Well guess what this guy’s twitter handle described him as?

A Odinist, and ‘Viking at Heart’.

And I am furious. This is what your bullshit culture does to these men, you heathens who see Valhalla as only something earned through picking useless fucking fights and dying for nothing. This is what your racist, self-centered, beating-chests theology does to men who by many accounts had a ‘recent turn to the worst’ and who before were described as ‘gentle giants’, even when troubled. You give these men hope and a sense of purpose at the expense of their lives, their souls, and you gladly gut the remaining morals of them by twisting the words of our forefathers and scripts like the Hávamál- ignoring any information or incovenuent facts that don’t glorify this narrow ass idea of what Vikings were.

Fuck you. You endanger the lives of bystanders and good people and lead men to the chopping block because you are so damn insecure about your manhood you have to glorify what never fucking existed.

Fuck your 'Viking aesthetic’. Fuck your wanking off to Valhalla. Fuck. You.

Praise to the gods that he didn’t manage to hurt anyone before he died. But you know what? That’s probably because you all told him as long as he died in a battle of some kind, no matter what it was about or how it started, he would get his glorious end.

You led a man to suicide by cop because of your inability to see anything outside your own goddamn bubbles of lies.

I hope ravens pick out all your eyes.

Adrien’s “house arrest” gave him time to think about a lot of things, and Nooroo’s training had given him the ability to sense emotions as if they were his own. Nooroo emphasized that knowing what to say to someone to get their help was tantamount, and that it was important to know how to put clues together.

Clues being things like the way he could sometimes hear his father’s quiet sobs echo through the marble halls.

And things like the way Tuxedo Cat’s attacks inexplicably lined up with these episodes.

Nooroo had always said things would get harder. As Greyling bid his customary “Bye-bye, petit papillon” to an outgoing Mitama, he wondered where exactly defeating his father, a supervillain hellbent on nothing short of murder, fit in.

hey guess what guys, nothing is stopping you from making your own great comet ensemble OCs, cosplaying as them and showing up to the imperial theatre and pretending you’re a cast member, and making your broadway debut. it’s that simple.

SNK Character Song Series 06: Levi (Image song & monologue translations)

Heeeyyy, Tumblr! Long time, no see :’) Did y'all enjoy SNK Season 2?

Levi and Erwin’s image song CDs were just released and I enjoyed listening to them a lot! ♡ So, I decided to pop back in for a bit and take on a new translation endeavor, something I haven’t really done in a while.

First up, this post is Levi’s image song and monologue! For the song, I included the original Japanese as well as romaji for karaoke purposes, if you’re so inclined ;) I also made a transcript of the monologue in the original Japanese, which you can read here (feel free to use it to translate into other languages.)

This should be obvious but keep in mind these are spoilers for the song & monologue, in case you wanted to experience them for yourself first. I definitely encourage supporting the official release & ordering the CDs if you haven’t already ♡

I’m also nearly finished with my translation of Erwin’s song and monologue as well, I’ll update this post with a link once it’s done ♡ ETA: Here is the translation of Erwin’s song and monologue!

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN CHARACTER SONG SERIES 06: Levi

“Dark Side Of The Moon” (Vocals by Hiroshi Kamiya)

Side note: the melody for Levi’s song is based on the previously released SNK single, Reluctant Heroes.

Japanese Version

こんな世界を今
逆さにして振ってみても
確かなことひとつ
出てきやしねぇ¹だろう?

壁の外は地獄
中は欺瞞溢れてる
それも併せ呑んで
任務を果たすだけ

感情流され死神喰われるか
足りない頭を回してみるか

※光当たらぬ月の裏
突き進むためには
もっと速く時には
躊躇なき非情さを
間違いじゃないやりたきゃやれ
ここに答えなんてない
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの決断を

ここで生き抜くなら
言葉でする教育より
痛みの記憶説く
教訓が必要だろう?

犠牲も危険も避けては
成果など
得られぬものだと
腹を括れよ

隠されている月の裏
いつか暴くために
乱されるな喚くな
状況を見極めろ
結果がなきゃ正解もない
だから最後だけは
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの生き方を

背後で散った勇敢な兵士たちが
遺した想い力を与える
必ずいつの日にか目障りな
壁も壊し
自由になる為この命捧ぐ

※ Repeat

Romaji Version

Konna sekai wo ima
Sakasa ni shite futte mitemo
Tashika na koto hitotsu
Detekiyashinē¹ darō?

Kabe no soto wa jigoku
Naka wa giman afureteru
Sore mo awase nonde
Ninmu wo hatasu dake

Kanjō nagasare shinigami kuwareru ka
Tarinai atama wo mawashite miru ka

※Hikari ataranu tsuki no ura
Tsukisusumu tame ni wa
Motto hayaku toki ni wa
Chūcho naki hijōsa wo
Machigai ja nai yaritakya yare
Koko ni kotae nante nai
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ketsudan wo

Koko de ikinuku nara
Kotoba de suru kyōiku yori
Itami no kioku toku
Kyōkun ga hitsuyō darō?

Gisei mo kiken mo sakete wa
Seika nado
Erarenu mono da to
Hara wo kukure yo

Kakusarete iru tsuki no ura
Itsuka abaku tame ni
Midasareru na wameku na
Jōkyō wo mikiwamero
Kekka ga nakya seikai mo nai
Dakara saigo dake wa
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ikikata wo

Haigo de chitta yūkan na heishi tachi ga
Nokoshita omoi chikara wo ataeru
Kanarazu itsu no hi ni ka mezawari na
Kabe mo kowashi
Jiyū ni naru tame kono inochi sasagu

※ Repeat

English Translation

This kind of world now
Even if we try shaking it upside down
There isn’t one thing that comes out
Which is certain, is there?

Outside the walls, it is hell
Inside, it is brimming with deceit
What’s more, we have to swallow it down
We can only fulfill our duty

Will we lose control of emotion and be consumed by a god of death?
Or will we try to use our dim-witted heads?

The dark side of the moon, untouched by light
For the sake of pushing forward
We have to be faster and at times
Be heartless without hesitation
It’s not a mistake if it’s what you want to do, so do it
There are no right answers here
Just being without regrets
Is my own decision

If were to I survive here
Rather than education with words
Isn’t persuasion by memories of pain
An essential lesson?

To avert sacrifice as well as danger
Things like results
Cannot be obtained
Steel yourself for it

The dark side of the moon is concealed
For the sake of someday being revealed
Do not get agitated, do not scream
Be certain of the circumstances
Without results, there are no right answers
Therefore only in the end
Just being without regrets
Is my way of living

Brave soldiers who died noble deaths² before us
The hopes they left behind give us power
Without fail, one of these days
We will demolish the obstructive walls as well
For the sake of freedom, we devote this life

Translation notes:

¹ It appears that Levi’s gruff style of speaking is present even in the lyrics of his song. The standard form of the verb here would be detekiyashinai (出てきやしない).
² The verb in the original Japanese, chiru/散る (or in this case, the past tense form chitta/散った) in the literal sense means “to fall” (in the context of leaves or blossoms from a tree). However, it also has the figurative meaning of “to die a noble death”. Even though we also say “fallen soldiers” in English, I worried that translating the lyric as, “fallen before us” or “fallen behind us” could both be misinterpreted, I decided to go with the more figurative meaning;;

++

Levi Monologue English Translation

Seriously now, I’ve had enough of this. This world is perpetual shit, and humanity is still toothless prey.

Those ugly titans are always going to take a bite out of us, and so we die a meaningless death.

Humanity is powerless.

When we won against the titans for the first time, the time when we sealed the wall in Trost district with a boulder, we could do it because of Eren’s power– a titan’s power.

The weak ones die quickly. How much power they use up doesn’t matter.

Eventually all of humanity, every single person will end up in the stinking maw of a titan, and while we experience the worst feeling there is, perhaps our miserable lives will end.

I realized it a few years ago. The stench of the gutters fills the inside of these walls. It’s been like this for over 100 years. It’s the way things are now.

Because I’ve had to breathe in this foul air ever since I was born, because I had no choice but to live crawling around in piles of trash, I thought that it was normal.

But when I went outside the walls for the first time, I realized how much I didn’t know about anything. It hit home for me, how much I had hated it.

The world outside the walls was like hell with titans wandering around, but the air I breathed there was completely different from the one inside the walls.

I realized, out there is what freedom is.

Freedom is something that absolutely cannot be obtained within the walls.

So I made a choice. I will continue to kill all of the titans.

If you want to confront the titans, information is never enough. So in order to survive, I learned how to live.

Quick action and callous decisions by assuming the worst is a necessary endeavor.

A moment’s hesitation, surrendering yourself to emotions, and you will be nothing but Titan bait.

If you don’t want to die, you have to always continue to keep this in mind.

And small choices will accumulate.

That is the way of living I have learned.

Risking no danger, making no sacrifices– there is no such easy discussion.

Even if there was, it’s all make-believe.

So far, I have lost numerous subordinates.

Whether my choice was correct at those times, I do not know. It’s always been like that.

Even if I believe in my own power, even if I believe in my comrades whom I fully trust, none of us will know the outcome.

Afterward, all that’s left is reality.

In that case, What can I do except make a desperate effort?

What can I do except doggedly press on?

If I have time to think about the bygone past, like if I were to have made a different choice back then, I will kill as many titans as possible within my power.

In that time, in that moment, a sudden, ridiculously strong power boils up from inside my body, and then I know what to do.

When that moment comes, I can no longer go back to my old self.

With these blood-stained hands, I accept my new self, I steel myself, and I only do what I must.

Was I correct? Or did I make a mistake? That’s the sort of thing no one knows, so it’s not worth worrying about.

All you can do is keep your mouth shut and make a choice without regrets.

Not understanding things about this world is true for everyone.

So I choose the guy whom I want to put my faith in.

Erwin is like that, too. No one knows what he is really thinking deep down.

But I trust his judgement.

He may be inviting the worst outcome, but he’s not afraid of that, he is able to choose something. That’s the kind of guy he is.

That’s why I chose to follow him. And I chose to fight.

In order to fight against this shit world, with this hand I’ll grab hold of the freedom of going beyond the walls for the first time.

I have chosen for myself.

Even if I am led into hell, I have no regrets.

Not one bit.

[Image: Harry drawing a cake in the dirt with the words ‘Happy Birthday’ written on it.]

So guess what, guys. It’s accio-shitpost’s second birthday today!

That’s right, 730 days ago, on the 6th of July 2015, we were sitting around, trading bad puns and thinking how great it would be if we made a blog out of them. 100k followers, 8k posts, and a whole lot of awful puns later, here we are. Honestly, we never thought we’d make it this far, and we cannot thank you guys enough for following, and for being amazing these last two years.

To celebrate, this blog is going into reruns for the week! We’ll be bringing back some of our favourite posts from the Old Days that you might have missed, the earlier posts from the archives in a little segment that we like to call ‘Accio Nostalgia Trip’. See some of the best, weirdest, and funniest posts of yesteryear, reblogged for your convenience!

Enjoy! And here’s to two more years of shitposting!

  • Kara: You guys guess what?!
  • Alex: What Kara?
  • Kara: I got a new job!
  • Alex: That fast? But you literally got fired yesterday, who would hire you so soon?
  • Maggie: Yeah have you even sent out applications?
  • Kara: Oh actually no, I haven't. I was just called about a job offer from some new company opening up called SuperCorp.
  • Maggie: *spits beer out* Did you say SuperCorp?
  • Kara: Yeah why?
  • Alex: *covers mouth* Wh-What job did they offer you?
  • Kara: Oh the same one as CatCo a reporter. But with a way better pay.
  • Alex: *smirks* Have you told Lena about this NEW and TOTALLY UNEXPECTED job opportunity.
  • Kara: *gasps* No I haven't, I should go tell her right now! *flies off*
  • Maggie: *hunches over laughing* Kara seriously doesn't realize Lena just bought and created a newspaper company for her.
  • Alex: *laughs* And named it after their ship name.
  • Maggie: They're so gay for each other.