guess what i just played

Cursed Child was dumb and here are some reasons why

(warning: spoilers. this probably won’t make sense unless you’ve read the script. far be it from me to recommend this kneazle-vomit of a play, though, so if you haven’t read it, good)

  • the plot is messy, strange, and childish. there’s only one time-turner left!! how will the characters cope when said time-turner is lost? oh lol they’ll just use this other convenient time-turner. for convenient plot points, see also: harry can suddenly speak parseltongue again, because well he just kind of needs to be able to do that
  • Harry cursing “oh dumbledore” without a hint of irony. like really? really
  • the characterisation was a pile of dragon dung and we all freaking know it. let’s break it down into individual characters here because fuck if I can stop at one bullet point for this
  • Hermione: the brightest witch of her age, the constant crusader for the unloved and the unrepresented, whose successful career and capacity for kindness apparently rest in the hands of her romance with Ron Weasley. oh… but wait. it sounds a little familiar, this story. hear me out. let’s see now, a highly intelligent person who falls in love but doesn’t have that love reciprocated, and who then becomes a really fucking mean teacher at Hogwarts through bitterness. sound like anyone we know? fam, they tried to parallel Hermione and Snape. Hermione and Snape. this being the same Snape who sneered in Hermione’s face when she’d been visibly hexed, and made her cry; the same Snape who bullied Neville Longbottom for years, while Hermione muttered instructions under her breath to help him. if you want to tell me that Hermione would ever allow herself to become a Snape parallel then I will kindly invite you to shove a dirigible plum where there’s no lumos solem
  • Harry: when Harry was at his angriest in OOTP, and he’s yelling at Ron and Hermione, there’s one thing we notice. everything he yells is true. he means it. he’s bitter about it and he’s loud and furious, but he doesn’t have the kind of anger that just says anything to cause hurt, that speaks without thinking, not even at this crisis point in his life. are you really going to tell me that the boy who knows down to his bones what it’s like to feel rejected, and misunderstood, and alone, would ever say - even in anger - that he wishes Albus wasn’t his son? I am going to snap wands over this
  • Cedric. and this one burns. because Cedric was brave and he was true, and he had a sense of justice that led him to telling Harry about the way the golden egg worked, and led him to sharing the winning of the triwizard tournament with Harry. he died, he was murdered at the age of seventeen, embodying a sense of justice so strong, an innocence, a goodness. Cedric Diggory - the boy who believed in fairness with an integrity that is astounding - becoming party to the indiscriminate killing and casual torture of the Death Eaters just because he had his head engorged one time… is about as likely as Hagrid stomping on a dragon egg. it’s an insult to who he was and I am going to engorge the entire bodies of the writers of this fucking play so that hopefully they’ll just float away too, with all the grace and likeability of Aunt Marge
  • Voldemort: can we all agree now that Voldemort would not father a child. the idea of him experiencing lust seems out of character; the idea of him giving into a base urge seems more so. it’s too human, too vulgar, too physical; it would associate him with the common and the mainstream in a way that I contend he would find repulsive. Tom Riddle Sr. was trapped by Merope into sex and romance; to have sex would be to bring himself closer to his parents, down to the level of a Muggle and a witch who lacked power and craved love, two things Voldemort could never, ever stand. no. he wouldn’t have sex just because he wanted to; he’d be repelled by the idea. what other reason could there be for him to do the nasty with Bellatrix? to ensure the continuation of his line? that makes even less sense. achieving immortality for Voldemort was always a question of magic, a personal quest. he wouldn’t go for a messy, physical back-up plan. he always thought that he would win. if anything, he would see a child as a future threat, not a security. another being in the world with the promise of his power? he wouldn’t risk it.
  • what the fuck was that trolley witch scene though
  • “for voldemort and valour” are you serious. is there a Gryffindor spy in the Voldemort camp laughing their ass off because they actually managed to get that one through. and are they ten years old
  • overall, the message of the play infuriated me. Delphi was the child of Voldemort, so she was evil. Albus was the child of Harry, so he was good. Scorpius was the son of Draco, so he should have been evil, but Draco’s actually kind of good now and his mother was nice, so he can be good too. where is the complexity? was five hours of drama not enough to find some shades of morality? where is the hope, where is the resonance, in a story that says that good begets good and evil begets evil, and nothing can really change? the Harry Potter book series was about a boy who grew up with something inside him that was utterly evil, and who rejected it, fought against it, changed the path that fate seemed to wish him to walk. not slytherin, not slytherin. we had Regulus Black and Sirius Black, who rejected their pasts, whose heritage and whose House stood for nothing against their principles, their eventual and separate forms of bravery. we had Remus Lupin, who transformed into a monster but never became one, not even after years of rejection and pain. we had the word mudblood, and we watched Hermione fight it, we knew it was ridiculous to label someone based on their blood. and now… we have the Cursed Child. a play which is flat, and stupid, and tells us that your parentage inevitably dictates your character - and that how you’re treated is how you’ll treat others. dear writers, in the words of Albus Dumbledore, you fail to recognise that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be. you fucks.
  • me: *plays a game literally all day everyday for weeks*
  • me: *realizes how much time of my life i'm wasting*
  • me: ok i'll be Productive™ after i beat the game
  • me: -finishes-
  • me: what can i play next

dammit i wanted my first fanart of my angry trash son to be cool and intimidating and feature a lot of explosions or something, not This

When everyone else’s legacies makes you impatient to get multiple generations of your own but you’re unsure if you’ll even get to finish the first gen because life is a bitch…
…and you not even half way done it either…
😑

6

Okay these pictures are LOOONNNGGG overdue. My lovely wife bought me a fancy camera and i was playing with some of the auto settings, I’ll bet you can guess what I played with just after this last shot….. still gets me hard just looking at these pics!

season 1 dean winchester is so fun to draw

I hate practically falling in love with anyone who’s really good at their instrument

tbh LIKE… one of my favourite thing is just… not how up to date with everything the junkers are, like especially at first after crawling away from Australia like… Junkrat never really was with a proper civilization except as a young kid and even Hog like… 20 years or so cut off of the world it’s like… oh. If they make references to shit it’s gonna be the most outdated things tbh, but that’s mostly Roadhog if anything cuz Junkrat is a bit too ‘??? wot’ to rly know pop culture. 

  • tumblr after series 3: mary is moran
  • tumblr one day after the special: mary is moriarty
  • tumblr one week after the special: mary is the devil
  • me: ...well, that escalated quickly
Republic and Taris

I just love how the Republic handled Taris through the ages. I mean they only admitted Taris into the Republic thanks to a bribe despite the planet not being up to the Republic’s “standards”. First off, Taris had a fucked up justice system that condemned criminals and their descendants to live in the Undercity (and the first criminals were rebels who objected to the upper classes abuse of power) and the Republic decided to take a lesson and use it on Belsavis.  Taris was also xenophobic and its laws forced aliens to live in the Lower City, and added to that the swoop gangs controlled the Lower City and corporate corruption ala Czerka and the Exchange.

During the Mandalorian Wars Revan and Malak had to stop the Exchange and their slaving operation, which the Republic hadn’t put a stop to, despite slavery being illegal in Republic space. At this time the Lhosan Industries left Taris, which caused unemployment and riots, which led to the Chancellor questioning circumstances of Taris joining the Republic. This led to the disappearance of the Tarisian senator and due to the upheaval the Jedi and the Republic military mostly abandoned Taris. So of course the Mandalorians invaded and used Taris as a staging ground to attack the Republic. A great strategic decision on the Republic’s part as everyone can see. After the war the Exchange moved back in and the Republic didn’t really care at all.

Then the Jedi Civil War came around and Malak bombed Taris to the ground. To no surprise the Republic didn’t come to their aid, during or after the war. Now compared to the aid the Republic gave Telos (funding the Restoration Project) and the Jedi helping on Dantooine (Vrook), this speaks volumes to how much the Republic cares about its members that aren’t useful, are too dangerous (rakghouls), or have an unsavory past.

So the Republic abandoned Taris for roughly 300 years and only got interested when they realized that they could use Taris as good PR and gain a symbolic victory over the Empire, as well as to use it as staging ground against the Empire. To accomplish this the Senate appointed Saresh to oversee the reconstruction. Unsurprisingly Saresh uses Taris as a stepping-stone to further her own political agenda without a care for the workers and their rights.

During the reconstruction the Republic is either ignorant or willfully forgetful of Taris’ past, they act as if Taris was some model Republic planet and restoring it somehow enforces the Republic’s values of compassion, unity and tolerance. If you ask me, the Republic should be happy that they failed, as the values that Taris represents are those of xenophobia, intolerance, corruption, and injustice. But if the Republic wishes to associate with such values, they are welcome to.