guess ill just go to bed now

Hmm, faced w a choice
1: pull all nighter to hopefully reset my sleep schedule by passing out of exhaustion tomorrow night
2: go to bed Right Now(ish) and just get up early tomorrow and try to reset it that way (this is a better option but i dont rly trust myself to get up @ a good time)

Boy howdy I hate The Discourse™ because I let that shit dictate my life for a good while so now I cant enjoy anything once anyone begins to criticize it for any reason

Like its okay to like things, self……but like…..at the same time….things are Bad and liking Bad things makes you Bad so……..I guess ill just go violently fist myself in the ass??

Mean drunk with the winchesters !

Authors note: guys I’m going to be honest I felt really mean in this imagine but it just kept going .I hope you like it and don’t forget to send in request .i’m writing a lot longer send in your feed back .

Word count: 2448

Warning: strong language little smut didn’t go too into detail at all.

Request:

You walked into the bar it was your sixth bar this month .you went straight in and sat on one of the bar stools .the bar was made of wood you were wearing your typical hunting gear your boots, jeans, tank top and your favorite leather jacket. the bar was semi-packed mostly men were in the bar some skanky women were there too you wouldn’t doubt at least some of them were prostitutes .you saw the bar tender he started to head to you he wasn’t that half bad but you weren’t in the mood if at all to put up with him. You had just lost your mom recently and it was affecting you badly.

“What can I get a pretty lady like you?”

“Why don’t you stop with the flirting and just do your danm job because I’m not in the mood if you couldn’t tell.”

“danm feisty I like that .”

“Get a hint why don’t you get me a beer and keep them coming till I say you can stop.”

“Alright I get the picture “

He brought you a beer you finished it in less than three sips

“Wow the lady can drink.”

“What don’t you get in you need to shut up and not talk to me for the rest of the night unless you want a black eye and broken arm.”

“Fine bitch suit yourself “

“Thankyou “

he brought you your next beer you weren’t feeling the buzz yet .it was going to take a lot more than a couple of beers to get you to the point you wanted to be at .you had practically become immune to the drink in the past month from so many bars .if you weren’t hunting you were probably at a bar drinking all of your sorrow away.

“Hey bar tender can you get me something a little stronger whiskey or I don’t know a jack .he looked at you funny

 “Alright anything for the wicked bitch.”

“Thanks he brought you a cup with ice and whiskey from what you could tell.”

You were finally starting to feel the buzz when the two seats next to you to your left got occupied. From what you could tell the guy right next to you was really good looking dirty blonde hair tall and had a green emerald eyes with a great jaw line he ordered a beer .you choose to not look at him any longer because no way in hell were you in the mood to even see a person in the face. The bartender refilled your cup .the hot guy right next to you turned to you

“So how long have you been in the business.”

You looked at him confused

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not stupid I know a hunter when I see one and your shirts lifted a little on your hip so you can see your anti possession tattoo.”

You finished your drink

“Well why don’t you mind your own god dam business and look at one of the prostitutes body over there while you’re at it because you may be hunter but I don’t give a danm .”

The bar tender came again and refilled your cup

“Don’t be like that hunters stick together plus my brother right here’s a hunter too.

“Oh so that gives me all the reason to tell you my life story here let me right it down for you smart ass.  I don’t care if you’re a hunter or if your huge brother is. for all I care you can all go to hell .I just want to drink peacefully so please don’t talk to me ask me questions or look at me .thank you very much .”

“Fine but my names Dean this is Sam and I will leave you alone but just tell me your name.”

“oh wonderful the idiotic Winchester brothers .Dean the selfish  one who brought his brother back from the dead because he just couldn’t stand to be alone .what other mistakes have you made oh that’s right you both opened  the gates of hell and broke  the 67 seals .oh and Sam great job in choosing a demon over your brother props go to you .who can forget dean you’re doing a snappy job at protecting your little brother john would be so proud .oh wait that’s right you couldn’t save him from drinking demon blood and you made  a deal with a demon sending your ass to hell but now your back because that’s what Winchesters do right rise from the dead

“Ok you shut up right now Mrs. Perfect what’s your name.”

This was your fourth drink you finally felt the numb feeling overtaking you.”

“You don’t have to know Winchester and I’m sure as hell not telling you.”

The bartender came over

“Hey that’s the last drink I can give you your either going to have to leave or be taken out because my boss isn’t liking you in here.”

“Fine here you put down a 50 keep the change and tell your boss he can go fuck himself.”

you got down from the stool and almost fell but you caught yourself and started walking out you felt someone following you but you really didn’t care you just wanted to get more drunk .you walked down the street. you went into a liquor store and went in looking for a Jack Daniels once you found it you went to the cashier. He looked at you judging your state 

“I can’t sell you that if you’re drunk.”

“Why don’t we keep this between us and I’ll give you a hundred and I’ll make sure to stay quite.

“Fine lady it’s your funeral.”

“Thankyou.”

You grabbed the bottle and went to the back ally you sat against a brick wall and started talking to yourself .you felt yourself breaking down.

“hey mom god its hard without you I miss you a lot .you would be so ashamed to see me right now you hated seeing me drunk .it’s just gotten really hard mom I feel so alone .I wake up every day since you’ve died asking myself why couldn’t It had been me why do I have to be the one still living. You would’ve of wanted me to be happy but it’s so hard to smile knowing you’re not with me anymore .you were the only person I could talk too and you would get me .you could even stand my craziness but now I have no one mom and I just can’t be the strong daughter you always taught me to be .look at me I’m talking to myself right now going insane .I miss you I know it’s  only been  a short time since you left but it still gets to me every day. I hope you’re in a good place mom.”

You started to drink the bottle again when you heard footsteps.

“Great it’s probably some creep or homeless person.”

You stood up to look and it was the Winchesters.

“Wonderful.”

You wiped your tears away and started walking you weren’t able to walk in a straight line anymore and were knocking into everything you didn’t make it far before you fell.

“danm it”

You turned to see the Winchesters.

“You know you two are really tall, it must hurt to be tall and stupid.”

“Funny its better than being short and drunk.”

First I’m not short I’m average and second being drunk is going to wear off .you’re going to stay stupid .”

“Ok smart one come over here.”

“No sorry I like staying alive and I heard being near you two that usually doesn’t happen.”

“Dean why are we helping her again oh that’s right being the bigger person her right.”

“I don’t think you two need to get any bigger.”

“Dean went over to you and let you lean onto him he took you to his car you were barely even conscious when he put you in the back seat and started driving .Sam went In shot gun where are we taking her all she does is insult us why should we pity her .

“I don’t need your pity for all I care you can leave me back at that ally.”

You really need to be quite and tell us your name

Fine its y/n y/l/n

Dean slammed on the breaks and they both looked stunned.

“What’s the matter with you two other than the usual?”

They both looked back at you you’re the one who lost her mom a little while back and went insane hunting every creature in the book.

“Wow word gets around I hadn’t even told any hunters that.”

“Yeah we know we found out because some demon told us they were scared to even see you.”

“HA that’s pretty funny I made demons scared of me.”       

“See Sammy totally worth it.”

They took you to their hotel room an set you down on a bed Sam gave you water and you felt bad because you saw dean settling on the floor you didn’t have the energy and you didn’t want them to know you cared so you rolled off the bed onto the floor .

“What the hell y/n”

 Dean carried you back to the bed and you just rolled off again

“Jesus Christ y/n stay on the bed”

No dean Winchester don’t you dare touch me again or ill punch you were the sun don’t shine.

He looked at you confused

“Why “

“You ask me one more question and ill end your life now.”

“Fine, I guess since you won’t use it I will.

He laid down on the bed you knew you weren’t going to sleep so you just pretended to go to sleep on the floor .you kept on having nightmares about your mom so sleep never came easy .once you made sure they both went to sleep you walked out the room .you started to feel a little more normal and you started to wonder what they did with the bottle of jack you were drinking .you hated feeling vulnerable you went to check deans car you could see it in the back seat under the seat .you tried to think  where his key where you remember seeing them on the table in the room .you went back in and grabbed the keys you heard one of them shuffle and you froze .they stopped and neither of them woke up so you continued .once you were in the car you grabbed the bottle of jack .you took a moment before you twisted the cap off .before you could take a sip someone had grabbed you and dragged you out of the car .he had taken the bottle too .you looked at the person assaulting you and saw dean .

“Danm it dean you always have to ruin everything with your brother.”

“Cut he shit y/n stop with the insults and the shitty attitude.”

“Give me back my drink and I’ll leave .you don’t have to deal with me or see me anymore .Hell ill make sure you never see me again.”

He looked at you “you know I know where you come from I’ve been in your shoes I’ve lost everyone and I did the same thing you did I shut everyone out. I didn’t insult anyone though or made them feel like shit but I did my fair share.”

“I thought Sam was the sensitive one .I don’t need you to tell me your sob story dean I know it plus you got Sam back I lost everyone so I’m sorry but you don’t understand so just let me leave.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me

“you know you think you can handle yourself but you can’t and I refuse to let you leave .you’re not going to make it through this alone because you’re not strong enough and you need to face it I wasn’t strong enough .so don’t you dare think your stronger then me because you’re not .so let someone god danm in before you hurt yourself anymore y/n.”

You couldn’t take it so you just kissed him you needed to let someone in and that someone was Dean. He took all your attitude and insults and everything and he still cared enough to fight for you .you kissed him for a long time before you dragged him in the backset of the car you two stayed in the backseat for the next hour before you realized what you had just done with a Winchester .your clothes were everywhere and you saw dean. You stopped and panicked you thought to yourself really in a car .you realized you were going to be another one of Deans one night stand.

“Dean I have to go uhh.”

You started to get dressed really fast.

“Y/n wow wait what’s wrong was it something I did?”

“no dean I just feel like I was drunk and I’m sorry I just have to go .you found your Jack Daniels and took a sip before he could argue you got out of the car and started walking .he was still not dressed so you took a head start dropping the jack on the floor shattering it not caring for it anymore you didn’t get far before you passed out.”

You woke up to dean starring at you .you stood up and looked at him confused with a huge migraine. the migraine was killer but you didn’t show your pain.

“Hey y/n you ok you had I worried.”

“Yeah uhhh so last night did happen “

“Yeah it did” he smiled

“Great” you smiled a fake smile it was a blur if you had used protection but you thought we couldn’t have been that dumb not too right.

Hey where’s Sam?

“Getting breakfast why.”

“I just wanted to say sorry to both of you if I really said what I thought I said I didn’t mean it .everyone has those rough spots and I’m no one to judge or point out”

“Yeah I forgive you how can I not I’ve done the same thing. Hey y/n I was wondering if you wanted to work on this case with us”

“Yeah sure why not.”

A couple days after you weren’t feeling yourself and had started getting morning sickness and weird cravings .you went to the doctor to see what was wrong.

“Well congrats y/n you’re pregnant “

“You were shocked dean was the only that could be the father .how the hell were you going to tell him and what the hell were you going to do .”