gucci-purses

What your favorite gorillaz album says about you

Self titled: you’re lying that’s what you are

Demon days: an old soul,,,, tired,,,, sleeps with a fedora on,,, if you can sleep at all,,, oh god where has the time gone. Likes the aesthetic of cigarettes but nicotine upsets your stomach. You like black nail polish but you pretend like you’re only wearing it ironically, you smell vaguely of an Olive Garden

D-sides: who are you…..where are you….are you ok?? Please answer. I’m not certain you exist

Plastic beach: weeaboo. You wear pre ripped jeans with no shame. Makes a lit vaporwave edit. Gay. 80s movie hoe. You have had, currently have, or will in the future have pink hair. You have an aesthetic blog with lots of pictures of daisies woven into shoes and 90s anime screenshots. Always nostalgic about something.

The fall: You thought you were an atheist then you realized you’re a god. Vapes but you only use one flavor. Smudged eye shadow for days. Bootleg Gucci purse. I’m very scared of you. You watch a lot of foreign art films. You speak fake French but you do it with such confidence that everyone thinks its real French. Hangs out in trailer parks that you don’t live in

Humanz: you’re just really chill dude. Appreciates $6 pink wine. rocks a galaxy print and aviators. Thunder soothes you. Has a black lives matter sign in your yard. Loves Snapchat filters. Everyone likes you but no best friend. You have very specific names for music genres, “post modern sea punk acoustic”. Goes to star trek conventions even tho you don’t watch Star Trek. Reblogs a lot of pictures of Rihanna

SugarDaddy!Cal Pt.2

Okay for starters…I made Y/BF/N Jamie because I’m typing this on my phone and typing Y/BF/N is annoying lmaoo sorry. And the anon who originally requested this has asked me to focus this mainly on black girls/POC, so I’m extra hyped.

Also I honestly think I might make this a series? The beautiful and most talented Gabby (@lukeysgirlkinda inspired me to, but I didn’t have a prompt. Might also steal her idea of a new chapter every 100 notes…what do you guys think?


Parts: One/ Two/ Three/Four/Five/Six/Seven/Eight/
Nine/Ten/Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen/Fourteen/Fifteen


You checked over your outfit once more in the full body mirror before walking carefully down the stairs. You’ve had more than one encounter attempting to run down the stairs before someone reached your house and it always ended badly.

“You look so pretty!” Jamie grinned as she turned around on the couch to see you.

“All I did was my hair and makeup, Jamie. I have on shorts and a shirt.”

“Can’t ever take a compliment.” She rolled her eyes playfully.“ What time is Calum coming?”

You checked the time on your phone before answering,“Any minute now.”

“You’re excited, aren’t you? I mean there’s a hot, young Australian who wants to be your sugar daddy. How much better can life get?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a sexual person, Jamie, how am I just going to be there at his every beckoning call?”

“You’ll do it, trust me.” She laughed, her smile widening when she heard someone knock on the door.

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Fuck Shoplifters

So my moron customer of the day is a real doozy. Skinny bitch with a pinched face, asshole son driving one of our electric carts around and around the front of the store while wearing one of our hats with the tag torn off. When I got there she had the electric’s basket full and was working on filling a THIRD full size cart with random crap from the 1-5 dollar area known as [redacted]. [Which is my area to zone.]
Security is watching her, the front line manager is watching her, two upper managers are watching her, I’m watching her and we’re all waiting for her to put something in her giant ass fake Gucci purse where one of us can see it.
So I suggest to security that we tell her kid to get off the cart because, you know, someone disabled might want it? We get the okay and she takes 15 minutes to slowly unload the fucking electric while security stares at her.
I see that she’s got two full carts lined up at the lanes and security says there was a guy who came in sort of checking her out. We think he’s the getaway driver. Basically push-out is a type of shoplifting. You just fill a cart and scoot outside with it. Once you’re outside you can stand there loading your car and all we can do is call for the police and hope they get there in time. So I drive a line of carts in the way to block the two full carts behind the checkout lanes. We know there’s no chance in hell she’s gonna pay for this stuff and we’re all tense watching to see what goes down.
She’s crouched down below the [redacted] display just loading shit up by the handful and finally, finally, our HR manager, goes up and says something to her. And this bitch got shrill. The guy comes sliding over and the two of them start arguing. Apparently he ‘broke down on the highway’ and she came in here with the kid for some reason. We think maybe she wanted to push out and he refused to do it?
And as they’re storming off, HR goes “so are you going to pay for the food you ate?” [Boom bitch] So I’m like “I can take you over here at the service desk”. And she had nothing. She made the guy pay for the ten dollars worth of food and stomped off back into the store for a few minutes while he flailed. And I asked if he was going to pay for the hat. He refused but I can’t do anything. [The kid had greasy hair and he’d been wearing it for at least two, maybe three hours.] She comes back with a bag and wants to do a return. [Hoo boy. Return fraud is common, steal a thing and then return it with no reciept for store credit. But guess what? I get to refuse if it’s shady.]
She’s got three things. Two of them I find on her card and do the return and she’s crying. I tell her I’m not taking back the clutch cause she has no proof of purchase. I didn’t even give a reason. She was incredulous as fuck but too damn bad. She says it’s not fair and I just shrugged. Too bad. You’re just mad cause you didn’t get to steal as much from us as you wanted too. [We think she may have gotten away with a fitbit.] But when they were done doing the recovery recipt it was over $3000 worth of random accessories and dollar item stuff. It took me FOUR hours to put it all back with a bit of help and minimal inturruption. Fuck your tears. That shit comes out of our hours for the whole store.