describe the one direction fashion during their album eras.
Up All Night.
Pastel twinks. Giving off that vibe that makes you think they smell like an Oceanside Yankee Candle and freshly cut springtime grass. Would defo date you, open doors for you and smile at you with some sugary fucking tooth-rotting grin. Defo gonna have you back home 15 minutes before curfew with a wink at Mama as he leaves to drive the car that tells your mama he paid for the meal and could probably pay for her house too.
Take Me Home.
Sassy rich-boy fucks. Got that ‘lost my car keys so daddy brought me a new car’ vibe. Wears bowties to a casual as fuck house party. Other dudes think they’re twats but girls think they got dollar dollar hiding in their fancy fucking breast pockets. Lots of monochrome colours, wears white jeans and would probably wink at you as you notice the grass stains.
Greasy gas station rent-boy chic. ”Excuse me m’aam, our car seems to have broke down can we borrow your cell so we can call a towing service“ Totally not passed them to throw you on the back seat and have the whole squad hit it in their cheap as fuck dodgy car whilst they wait for the tow truck tho. Smell like sweat, tequila and smoke. Bad-boy assholes that don’t believe in money as a concept which is an excuse for them being broke as fuq. Would get drunk with you and complain about captalism and the bourgeoisie.
Slayin in all black cos it’s everyone elses funeral. Take me To Church plays in the background of them wherever they go. Has the ‘Daddy-doesn’t-talk-about-his-business-with-you’ vibe and you cool with that. Smells like overpowering Gucci cologne on a soft autumn breeze. Hair constantly in a state of ‘i woke up like this but it took an hour to get right’. Most likely actually has money falling out their pockets. Shoes pointier than cheekbones.
Made In The AM.
We’re not like regular dads we’re cool dads. Relaxed and chill vibe, just guys being dudes. The kind of guys who know how to bleed a radiator but know the best guy to get cocaine from at short notice. Would probably reference memes in conversation but only the relevant ones. If you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms, they are wife material.