Color Guard Director Things
So we have two color guard directors, one is a married thirty year old short woman. The other is a tall ass gay af college student who’s so sassy it pains me. We’ll call the first one A and the other R.
Here is the incomplete list of things they have said that really just, stuck.
“Hold your leg up! Your buttcheeks need to be clenched! If you had a grape between those cheeks, it’d better be squished!”-A
“Dam-I mean Dang it Alyssa I’m not going to follow you back on instagram. I’ll follow Brayden though.”-R
“Ya like jazz?” -R
“MY CATS LAID ON MY PANTS DO YOU SEE THIS I HATE MY CAT” -A
*plays britney spears in the middle of rehearsal* -R
*during leg excersises while playing music* “OH WELL IMAGINE AS I’M PACING A ROOM IN A CHURCH CORRIDOR AND I CAN’T HELP BUT TO HEAR NO I CAN’T HELP BUT TO HEAR AN EXcHANGING OF WORDS…WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING SAYS A BRIDESMAID TO A WAITER, BUT WHAT A SHAME THE POOR GROOMSBRIDE IS A-” *switches song* “-LOVELY WOMAN” -R
“LoOK.” *aggresively shoving pictures of his dog to the guard -R
“Sweetie. Please don’t eat your hair. You’re going to look like dancing chewbaca.” -A
*while teaching how to do a hand stand and shirt falls down* “DON’T LOOK AT MY TUMMY ROLLS I HAVEN’T WORKED OUT”-R
“boom. Roasted as the kids say.” *another student telling him he’s only 20* “I am a granpa already. Can you see this gray hair.”-R
“Don’t be a flexed foot felicia. Don’t be a dropping Deborah. Don’t be an Off-Count Octavius.”- R