guard myself

Grandpa Jeff

Backstory: The group is playing a 13th Ages based system, and we had a quest to steal a painting from a king’s palace. It was decided that Loki, my character, was to sneak into the treasure room with my Invisibility Cloak while the rest of the party, save for a lawful good man who wanted to party the night away, created a distraction. After sneaking past the guards, I found myself in a maze, confronted by a guard.

Guard: *is standing in a doorway*

Me: *Rolls and misses to stab him in the throat*

Guard: *Looks around* Who’s there! Show yourself!

Me: *rolls to lie and passes with flying colors* I… am a SPOOKY GHOST!

Guard: AHHH, please, don’t kill me!

Me: I will not kill you, mortal, if you guard me to the treasure!

Guard: Okay… follow me.

Me: *follows*

Guard: What’s your name?

Me: Jeff?

Guard: Wait, Jeff? I had a great grandpa named Jeff!

Me: Guardy? My great grandson!?

Guard: GRANDPA! I can’t believe it’s really you!

Me: Yeeees….

Guard: So, where’d you hide the treasure

Me: Well. Death has made me forget many things…

Guard: Oh.

*we get to the treasure*

Guard: I leave you now, Grandpa.

Me: Thanks?

Later, the rest of the group is being chased by the city guard’s trolls through the maze I was in earlier. They bump into Guardy.

Guardy sees the trolls and starts running as well. We meet up and Guardy starts talking to me.

Me: Want to join us, kid?

Guardy: Yes, please!

Rest of the group: Did we just adopt a NPC as a pet?

I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care if I embarrass myself. I’m so tired of guarding myself and leaving before I’m left and having to be so reserved all the time and playing into people’s games. I’m not going to keep quiet about things anymore, I’m going to say how I feel & stand up for myself.
As long as I don’t hurt other people, I’m going to live authentically and honestly and I’m not going to keep everything locked up anymore.
I would rather try and fail than not try at all. It’s going to hurt either way.

Jurassic World is a war between three queens.

I’m not even exaggerating here (spoilers ahead).

First, we all know who truly rules the island: the Tyrant, Tyrannosaurus Rex. She eats her subjects, yes, but she also protects the island and its inhabitants. Her very presence probably kept the island off-limits to people between parks, and she was the one keeping the ecosystem in something resembling balance. Well, her and the dilophosaurs, and maybe the baby raptors, but mostly her. She rules them all, and if you watch, you will even notice that one dinosaur literally bows to her. I’m not even joking, watch the knees and the head, she bows. And this is our queen: Tyrannosaurus Rex.

But the events of the movie herald the rise of the Usurper:  Indominus Rex. She claims the title, she was bred by artificial means to become the island’s new queen. But while Tyrannosaurus ate for food, she still maintained the balance of the island and fought only for survival–Indominus attempted to destroy it, killing everything in her path or unleashing it upon the island to further her own destruction. Those who serve her survive; those who don’t die. This island will belong to her, for she is Indominus Rex.

But then we have the third queen: the Protector. When the Tyrant was sealed away and the Usurper plotted behind her back, she ruled the island, and did a pretty good job. But from her lofty citadel she could not recognize the problems brewing or connect with its people–until the Usurper escaped and drew her out. And it was she who ultimately called upon the Tyrant to reclaim her throne and cast the Usurper into the sea. Unlike the others, though, she did not wear the title “Rex”. Or, as it would be in more gender-appropriate terms, “Regina”–”the queen”. But if you look closely and rearrange the letters (R-E-G-I-N-A), and maybe add one more, you will find that “Regina” can easily become “Dearing”. Because she is the Protector Queen of Isla Nublar: Claire Dearing

you live there, so tell me, what does it look like?
what do i look like from the inside? am i golden? am i bruised?
can you see their names branded into the palms of my hands?
tell me who hurt me worse, myself or him? who broke me on glass edges to the point where i had to guard myself in sound proof walls because my screams were too loud, and where the wise girl didn’t believe in herself. tell me how much i am in ruins, yet how much i am beauty. i am grace. i am the essence of love, how much i embody it even though i’ve never been given it. tell me how much you love me. create a chemical reaction in me, ignite me with fireworks that taste like the morning sun, and dusks nightmares. tell me how lucky you are, to have fallen for me at exactly the right place, exactly the right time, in exactly the
right way.
—  you live within me, so tell me what i look like to you. 

anonymous asked:

I recall that at some point in your tags you mentioned that Kiibo was your third favorite character... why is that?

Haha, I’m surprised someone noticed! The more I reflect on ndrv3 the more I come to really, honestly love Kiibo. When I last took the DR sorter he wound up ranked as my third-favorite right under Ouma and Saihara, and it really caught me off guard myself, because I hadn’t expected him to place that high.

It’s funny, because while I certainly liked Kiibo well enough for most of the game (there was never any active reason to dislike him) I don’t think I wound up getting really attached to him until around Chapter 5. And then Chapter 6 only made me love him more, of course.

The ways in which Kiibo subverted the expectations I (and the ndrv3 audience, and everyone playing the game) had for him as a sort of “Naegi-like” character and ultimately accomplished something meaningful really made me love him a lot. I have quite a liking for characters who are meant to be someone else’s puppet but struggle to find their own meaning and autonomy. If Ouma was the embodiment of this from the perspective of someone who was set up to be the villain by Tsumugi, then I feel Kiibo really embodied it well as someone who was meant to be “the hope” of the story.

Keep reading

Whenever a year comes to a close, I see people posting their resolutions online or telling me about their plans to reinvent themselves. With this, I can’t help but to recall the resolutions I did last year and if I was even near in accomplishing some of them. Truth is, I wasn’t even close.

The goals that I had set last year were molded not just to create a better version of myself, but also to impress other people. It seems that I can’t help but be preoccupied by other people’s perception of me that I ended up not accomplishing anything and just plainly succumbing to the pressure.

I was caught off-guard with myself - thinking that life is a marathon of competitions. And I always end up losing and being insecure about the accomplishment of others.

The word goals had gradually changed its definition in my book. My goals had became impersonal and were set to a standard to please others.

The beauty of setting goals for yourself is that it can serve as a humility patch that grounds you - a constant reminder that you are here not just for others, but also for yourself.

I have always loved the idea of the year ending, because it gives me an opportunity to start clean and to set new goals. And I guess next year, I will start to focus on myself more, to stop comparing myself to others and for a more positive outlook in life.

is anyone else absolutely fucking terrified of sentry bots or am i just a coward and a weakling who won’t survive the nuclear winter