guard myself

i commissioned this piece from the kind and talented @mesknoxx as a companion to chapter four of my fluffy season three fix it fic – we don’t talk very much (we just fake being nice) – in which clarke and lexa attend an azgeda coronation ball. this is the artist’s rendering of the dresses they wore.

Grandpa Jeff

Backstory: The group is playing a 13th Ages based system, and we had a quest to steal a painting from a king’s palace. It was decided that Loki, my character, was to sneak into the treasure room with my Invisibility Cloak while the rest of the party, save for a lawful good man who wanted to party the night away, created a distraction. After sneaking past the guards, I found myself in a maze, confronted by a guard.

Guard: *is standing in a doorway*

Me: *Rolls and misses to stab him in the throat*

Guard: *Looks around* Who’s there! Show yourself!

Me: *rolls to lie and passes with flying colors* I… am a SPOOKY GHOST!

Guard: AHHH, please, don’t kill me!

Me: I will not kill you, mortal, if you guard me to the treasure!

Guard: Okay… follow me.

Me: *follows*

Guard: What’s your name?

Me: Jeff?

Guard: Wait, Jeff? I had a great grandpa named Jeff!

Me: Guardy? My great grandson!?

Guard: GRANDPA! I can’t believe it’s really you!

Me: Yeeees….

Guard: So, where’d you hide the treasure


Me: Well. Death has made me forget many things…

Guard: Oh.

*we get to the treasure*

Guard: I leave you now, Grandpa.

Me: Thanks?

Later, the rest of the group is being chased by the city guard’s trolls through the maze I was in earlier. They bump into Guardy.

Guardy sees the trolls and starts running as well. We meet up and Guardy starts talking to me.

Me: Want to join us, kid?

Guardy: Yes, please!

Rest of the group: Did we just adopt a NPC as a pet?

Lich King Boyfriend Part Three

The finale of the Lich King story that was commissioned by @ladyccr. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did!

   Ria has been here for almost six months. Every day she brings a little more light to the castle. Every day I feel a little less cold. We’ve learned to communicate now through our hands. One of my staff taught us sign language so that she could talk to me without the hassle of pen and paper. Although, most times, I feel as if I can understand her without words.

Keep reading

Interview Outtakes

I had the pleasure of interviewing Nicki Minaj. Here are some sections that were cut from my first draft of this cover story for T Magazine. 

***

Her publicist assures me it won’t be too long and I tell him it’s no problem. When I interviewed Madonna, she was ninety minutes late, which is not name-dropping. I am offering context for why I am so Zen about waiting for Nicki Minaj. I understand that time works differently for famous people.

In the end, Nicki Minaj is remarkably prompt which is to say our meeting begins only about twenty minutes after the scheduled time. The real challenge was in scheduling the interview at all. My editor and Minaj’s team spent quite a long time exchanging e-mails about when and where the interview would take place—in Los Angeles, in Miami, in New York, on this date or that but without an exact time. I finally learned when we would meet upon landing at JFK, mere hours before the appointed time. It was all very exciting for a writer whose days are generally marked by the difficulty of choosing whether to watch Law & Order SVU or Law & Order Criminal Intent.


***

Her publicist Joe, who will stick around for the entire interview, sits across from me. Earlier, as we waited in the hall just outside the suite, Joe gave me tips on how to talk to Minaj and then, I must confess, I did name drop Madonna because this was not my first rodeo. It was my second. On the coffee table, a laptop records our interview on Minaj’s behalf. I can’t say I blame her. I’m not concerned.

***

It took a long time to get to that place Minaj tells me, and now, “sonically I know what the album’s about to sound like. I know what this album is gonna mean to my fans. This album is everything in my life coming full circle and me being truly, genuinely happy. It feels almost like a celebration. The last album, the Pink Print was like my diary, closing the chapter on certain things and not knowing if I was happy or sad about beginning new chapters. I was really writing about feeling unsure.”

***

It’s interesting that Minaj is feeling more confident in herself than ever because I am there to talk about greatness. I am curious how Minaj defines greatness and after a thoughtful pause, she says, “Discipline is one of the things I believe every great has a lot of. I’d [also] put talent, intelligence, and I’d mix it in with the X factor, which is just the thing you can’t really put into words.”

***

…it is easy to make tawdry assumptions about what she means by closing chapters and new outlooks, but in preparing for our conversation, I was determined to not ask invasive, personal questions. I was determined to not ask stupid questions….I did not delude myself into thinking I would be the one who might crack the Minaj code. She was thoughtful and open but it was crystal clear that she wasn’t going to divulge anything but what she wanted to divulge.

***

By way of her music and public personas, Minaj has fostered a devoted fan base. She speaks often and lovingly of these fans who are definitely on her mind when she’s making music. So are her peers in the rap game. “When I’m being super lyrical and really pushing my pen, I’ll think about dope rappers and what they’re gonna say when they hear that. Rap is competitive and that’s a good thing. We should push ourselves to compete and I’m a woman and I always want to compete with the greats. There are moments where I say something really funny or really ghetto or cheeky and I’ll be like, oh my fans are gonna crack up about that. Whenever I’m really baring my soul, I always say, oh my god, my fans will go crazy because they appreciate when I just let myself really show… and don’t guard myself.”

***

I’ll know feminism has succeeded when women can achieve greatness without wading through a lifetime of bullshit first. 

It’s strange how vulnerable I became because of you. I was never this way I always knew better. I didn’t want to be tamed, I didn’t want to fall in love, I didn’t want my world to revolve around one person. I guarded myself so heavily, my feelings, my emotions. I was so careful always making sure that I never got too close. Always being one step ahead. And then you came into my life. A heavy past, a sad smile, eyes so lost. I wanted to save you. You peaked my interest like no one had before, always talking about the moon and sun, the clouds. You talked about the ocean and the sky. You dreamt of mountains and rivers and before long I was the one getting lost in the forest within your eyes. You became my world….
“ I don’t belong here” you told me one day. Your gaze was amongst the stars. I could hear the pain in your voice. I could see the tears begin to form. Perhaps you never needed saving, perhaps you were just trying to find a place to call home..

If at the end of the movie kylo and rey goddamn elope hand in hand with embers slowly falling from the sky behind them, I will go into cardiac arrest right then and there in the theater