BTS Scenario/Reaction - Yoongi (Pt.2) Self Harming/Self Harm Scars
*TRIGGER WARNING* This is a very touchy topic and if you are uncomfortable with it I suggest you not to read
(DISCLAIMER: I do not intent to promote/romanticise self harming or depression. If you or someone you know is going through this please get help and my ask box is always open if you need/want to talk, both admins are here to listen)
Word count: 1,107
Before Yoongi you were known as the awkward girl that always wore the black hoodie no matter the weather outside. But what could you do?, it was like your safe haven, it kept all your secrets and fears inside and any judgement you didn’t already received out. Whenever you would put on your hoodie you felt like all the imperfections and reminders of the past weren’t there anymore, cause you couldn’t see them. It was merely a shield protecting you from additional eyes and stares you were sure you would receive while hiding away the aspects of you that you knew people wouldn’t accept. It gave you a sense of safely even if it was just a piece of material, it was all you had. Yoongi never questioned why you always wore the hoodie but he knew there was a reason behind it, he knew you weren’t as confident and outgoing like others but he didn’t want to pressure you into telling him the reason behind it. He respected your privacy and you were thankful for that because telling him or even showing him your scars was something that weighed heavily on you, it was something you feared and you had no idea why. You trusted him so why weren’t you willing to show him that side of you? Why were you so scared to death that maybe, just maybe he would become one of those many judging eyes you saw on a daily basis? It was because even though you thought trusted him, there was always a doubt finding it’s way into your brain and constantly whispering in your ear that this wasn’t going to be any different from the past, that he would run for the hills like everyone else who ever got this close did. And this fear ate you up, it consumed you and played at your mental state making you borderline crazy. You feared you were just digging a hole only to bury yourself in it.
It was like any other day, you waking up in cold sweats caused by the nightmares that haunted your dreams whenever you closed your eyes, but you had grown accustom. You had accepted the fact that this was how it was going to be, that you couldn’t outrun your past even if everything you went through was over. It still stuck with you and you knew you had to live with it. You slumped your way out of bed and decided to take a shower to cool your hot body before you started your daily activities, which mostly consisted of going to classes and hanging out with Yoongi. It wasn’t the best life but you were contented you had someone to spend your time with than being alone. Even though you distant yourself from people you hated to being alone. Picking up your over worn hoodie from the chair next to your bed to cover yourself after you had got out of the shower a knock at your door caught you off-guard. Pulling your towel tighter around you exposed body you dropped your hoodie back in its place and made your way over to see who it was at the door. ‘No one ever comes here’ you thought to yourself wondering who it could be. You unlocked the door and peeped outside to see a very soaked Yoongi with a look of desperation to get out of the rain on his face. You hadn’t even realized it was pouring outside until you look passed Yoongi’s figure to see the heavy rain and multiple puddles forming outside. Being brought back to the shivering boy in front of you, you looked at him wide eyed still processing his unexpected presence.
“Can I come in y/n, I’m freezing out here” he spoke first earning a quick nod from you.
You pulled back the door allowing just enough room for him to pass as your tried your best to keep the cold breeze out. He was now inside, leaving a trail of water behind him as he removed his soaked jacket from his pale body. You stood there in shock not knowing what to say or do for this was the first time he, or anyone for that matter had came to your apartment. It was always you going over to his or you to hanging out somewhere around town. Yoongi turned around to finally look at you as he took in your appearance. You had totally forgot you were only wearing a towel with most of your body exposed, and more importantly, your scars. Panic setting in, you stood still, your body in shock as his gaze wonder from your frightened expression down your stiff body. It was too late to cover up now or to run and hide to prevent him from seeing what you were so desperately trying to hide. He had seen, all your flaws and imperfections that you had caused upon yourself, he had seen everything. His face was unreadable and it stroke a fear in you that he would run any minute from the broken girl that stood no less than 5 feet in front of him. But he didn’t, he didn’t run, nor did he show a face of discuss like everyone else you knew before did. You held your breath as he slowly approached you, his eyes never leaving your face, your heart rate increasing with every step that he took. ‘What was he going to do?’ you fearfully thought as you stood there scared to move a muscle as you stared at him with an uneasy expression on your face. His face was inch away from your now and you had no idea how you hadn’t collapsed from the amount of excessive breathing you were doing. You closed your eyes, not knowing what to expect as you felt a soft gentle touch on the side of your face. You released a shaky breath as you leaned into his comforting touch, savouring the feeling just in case he changed his mind and made a run for it. All the doubts and fears you had dissolved as you felt his lips lightly brush against yours, your tensed body relaxed at the feeling. You unconsciously leaned in wanting to feel more of this new sensation caused by his touch. He kissed you, and not just a simple kiss but one that held so much love and passion, it made you feel safe, it made you feel protected and you didn’t want it to end.
“Y/n, I know you’re hurting, but you don’t have to anymore, I’ll always be here to make you feel safe”