gta gifs

The worst part of the Assassin’s Creed series is … everything else. The plot is based on something the developers half-remembered from a History Channel special, the premise is less cyberpunk than it is cyber-soft-rock, and the dialogue aspires to being wooden – right now it’s particleboard.

So in order to keep you entertained though the 20-hour slog of story endurance, you get increasingly awesome ways to teach Todd to watch where the hell he’s standing: battle hammers, axes, maces, halberds, and uh … brooms?

In that gif, someone thwacked that guy with a broom so hard blood flew out. Remember that force equals mass times acceleration, so that straw has to be travelling at relativistic speeds. Here’s that same broom, bludgeoning the Catholic out of a guy wearing full plate mail.

You probably never bothered with it, but the broom in Assassin’s Creed II is a magic death machine that can be found everywhere, never breaks, and can even slit a guy’s throat.

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