I am not dirty, I am not gross, I am not immediately an affront to everything that is sacred because my partner happens to have a vagina, and so do I.
There is no ‘right’ time to talk about justice or to give people their rights. If something is wrong, it should be fixed, especially when it’s as easy as saying, “Yes.”
I am young and relatively healthy. There are those who aren’t. There are those who are going to lose their partner days, hours, minutes before the Supreme Court pulls their head out of their asses and makes a decision, and it’s not even about whether or not it’s constitutional.
It’s about whether we’re 'ready’ or not.
And it’s not 'we.’ It’s a small but vocal group of incredibly conservative, close-minded people who don’t realize that their right to religion is not being removed by letting other people exercise theirs. They will never be ready. And that’s sad for them, I suppose. But I should not have to suffer - millions of US citizens should not have to suffer - because YOU can’t handle the fact that love doesn’t fit your tiny little definition. YOU can’t handle the fact that the United States is not a theocracy. YOU can’t handle the fact that some people live their lives differently than you.
Even by calling it 'gay’ marriage, you’re making us different, making the institution different. You’re putting a value on it. Let’s talk about civil rights. Let’s talk about this societal plague that lets people call me a fag, call my partner a tranny, lets my students ask me if I’ve ever drawn a 'he-she’ and tell me that gay people are just 'gross.’ This goes deeper than marriage. We’re touching on the core of a disgusting, harmful mindset, a mindset that says, “What I am is perfect, and what you are is wrong.”
We shouldn’t need studies to tell us that kids raised by same-sex parents don’t ~turn gay.~ We shouldn’t need the APA to announce that homosexuality and trans* identities are normal variances in human sexuality and gender expression.
I shouldn’t have to listen to a bunch of straight people argue about whether or not I deserve the same rights as them and be afraid to speak because of what they might say.
I know this is nothing new, and every other queer/gay/non-heterosexual person has said the same thing, but…
It’s so upsetting to see what people think marriage should be. I’ve seen arguments ranging from ‘because God said so’ to 'marriage is for reproduction’ to 'why can’t it be a civil union instead’ to 'what about the churches’ and I just…
I’m not always in the best health. Speaking genetically, I’m in the line of fire for several different types of cancer, heart disease, and neurological disorders. I am also completely and totally in love with my partner, and I cannot conceive of being sick in the hospital without him to hold my hand. Problem is, he’s a transman, which means that we’re a same sex couple according to the law. Which means we don’t exist.
I want children someday. I want desperately to adopt, mostly because I’m not comfortable with the idea of being pregnant. If, god forbid, something were to happen to one of us, if we did have a child, what then? If we even could adopt. of course - according to some, having a family is child abuse, because the family doesn’t fit their definition of family.
It honestly hurts to read comments from people denouncing the fact that I love someone. Me. I thought I would die alone. I’ve got trust issues spanning almost my entire life, I’m always afraid, I’m always… I just figured I was such a fuck-upped little shit that nobody would be able to get past that. But he did, because he was patient, and he waited, and he heard it all and just offered a shoulder to lean on. But we’re not in love - we’re a sin. My ability to liberate myself emotionally, mentally, and sexually from YEARS OF ABUSE with the help of my partner is a sin. It’s a weakness.
Stop trying to take that from me.
Stop trying to minimize what he is to me.
Stop trying to minimize what I have done for myself.
Stop erasing me.
If you, dear people who argue that it’s God’s will that I can never share the same rights as you because of the sex/gender of my partner, truly believe in a god that would proclaim to love its creations, why the ever-loving-fuck would it punish its creations for finding happiness?
I didn’t want to be queer. I wanted to be normal. I wanted so, so bad to prove that I could be 'fixed,’ that my sexuality was obviously just a symptom of my previous abuse, that I could love a man like a 'normal’ woman. And, of course, as fate would have it, I did fall in love with a man without knowing it. I fell in love with my partner when I believed he was a woman, and his gender doesn’t change anything for me, aside from what I call him. But it wasn’t until I let myself be who I am, until I accepted the fact that yes, I am queer, and I have ALWAYS been queer, that I started accepting other parts of me.
When you say with absolute certainty that being queer is a choice or being tempted by the devil, I honestly want to hit you. I would never choose to have made my mother cry. I would never choose to hide my three-year relationship with my partner from most of my family. I would never choose to have to pretend to be 'roommates’ or 'best friends’ for fear of being ostracized or injured. Nobody chooses this. It’s not a weakness of will or morality, either. When we had sex, I chose to embrace him. I spent months considering it. I knew what I wanted. I finally did something for me, for him, for someone I love. Was it selfish? Possibly. But I can tell you that I fucking researched the psychology of homosexuality before I did shit because I was so scared it meant I was broke.
If you think I’m weak-willed for being true to myself and standing up for my relationship in the face of oppression - blatant oppression - then you honestly aren’t worth my time.
When people talk shit, they aren’t just talking about your OTP. I’m a real fucking queer person. My life is impacted by those words, no matter how much I try to pretend they don’t. Being queer is truly fucking terrifying. Your OTP is a fantasy. My life is, at times, hell.
“Love the sinner, but hate the sin.”
If you loved me, you wouldn’t do this. You’re frightened of me, but not nearly as much as I’m frightened of you. I won’t touch you. I don’t yell things at you. I don’t gather up a group of queer people to sit down and talk about whether or not you should be a real person.
Your religion should NOT impact my life.
Your fear should NOT dictate the validity of my love.
I’m tired of equal signs and arguments and Bible-thumping and screaming at walls. All I want is to be looked at like a person.