grumpy dan

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Make this the first Legendary Voice Line

(don’t mind me just jotting down ideas for a oneshot I might write for @incaseyouart’s elf!phan au)

• established canon: dark elf dan and plant elf phil

• phil traveling south through (dark??) woods; searching for healing plants (unknown reason - most likely sick family)

• dan grumpy and patrols - finding a glowing phil

• phil is very quirky and happy, throws dan for a loop, but quickly warms up to him and even allows phil to call him “dan” (prefers howell)

(this point on is not established canon, own ideas)

• phil doesn’t really ask for dan’s aide, but after running into a Shadow Beast in the forest dan decides there’s no way in hell he’s leaving this glowing plant boy by himself

• dan pretends he’s just going along because “it’s his job to watch strangers that wander into the dark forest” but phil knows

• cue the pair going on adventures through the forest together, trying to find the ultra rare plant phil needs but also having an adventure along the way

• phil teaches dan about various plants and their properties, he can be a bit all over the place sometimes

• one time he gets genuinely upset bc a chipmunk wouldn’t take his nuts and dan laughed for the first time in months

• dan finds phil gazing at the stars and says the stars are much more visible here; dan lays down with him and he teaches phil about the stars

• one day it rains and (dan canonically doesn’t like the rain) phil yells with joy and runs out into it, dancing in the puddles

• “how can you not like the rain? it brings life and leaves a rainbow afterwards!”

• dan has a hollow branch that can be played like a reed flute and after enough begging from phil he plays songs for him

• turns out dan always wanted to play but the elders chastised him when he was young once so he became too afraid to pursue it

• once dan’s initial grumpiness fades, he’s curious about everything, including (canon: phil’s head plant)

• dan discovers that phil is actually very knowledgeable about many things and teaches phil in return about the life of dark elves, which phil finds fascinating bc dark elves tend to shun outsiders and not talk about themselves

• one day a large Shadow Beast attacks them, and dan displays his dark magic in front of phil for the first time to protect him

• dan was afraid to do so before in fear that phil would find his magic scary

• it’s quite the opposite; phil is ecstatic and gushes about the “telekinetic-like powers” that dan possesses

• dan is injured in the fight and finds that phil has magic of his own: healing magic

• phil (canon: he glows) also radiates heat, and after this realization dan soaks up as much of it as he can

• they meet a few other dark elves, and dan pushes phil behind him so he can speak to them. they’re wary of phil in the forest but dan gets angry when they demand him to get out.

• phil says quietly that perhaps he should just leave the forest but dan’s heart twists bc he didn’t realize how much he loved travelling with phil and grabs his hand, asking him to try and sort it out with his people

• dan talks to the others after cooling off and they reluctantly agree to let phil find his plant before he leaves

• dan is relieved but keeps an extra watch on phil after that, because he’s sure the rumor must’ve spread back at the village

• now the pair must find this plant quickly, and phil starts seeming more and more worried about whoever the plant’s for

• and anyway it’s pretty obvious I’m obsessed with this idea now so I won’t say anything more and start writing

6

Christmas Game Grumps Icons!

It’s that time of year to be feeling festive, so I made some Christmas Grump icons for everyone to use!

  • please like / reblog if you want to or will use them! only because it makes me really happy to see people using them :)
  • credit would be nice, but i can’t force you and you’re probs only going to use the icon for a month
  • Merry Christmas! I love you all  ❤
Sleep Talk [Dan]

Title: Sleep Talk [Dan]

Summary: Dan and Phil chat for a bit at 3:27am, but only one of them is actually conscious.(Sleeping!Dan, Grumpy!Phil)

Relationship: Phan

Characters / Pairing: Dan Howell, Phil Lester

Word Count: 763 (short ‘n sweet, my dildo-muffins)

Warnings: M/M, swearing (it’s 3:00am give Phil a break), sleep talking (dans cute lmao), some (cute) grumpy Phil, sleep-deprivation, a very confused and disturbed Dan, frustration, if you have an issue with mail this really isn’t for you (idk some people have very specific problems), annoyance, humour (pfffffffffffffftt nah), FLUFFITY FLUFFY FLUFF, establishedrelationship yo

Or the one where Phil doesn’t want to talk about the mail. (it doesnt make sense now but youll see hahahhhahah) #establishedrelationship

**

It’s unusual that Phil is up later than Dan, but tonight’s just one of those nights where sleep refuses to dawn on him.

It’s been taunting him too; he’s tired as fuck but he can’t seem to settle down and sleep.

He gave up a few minutes ago, just laying on his back - eyes open - with a completely knocked out Dan on his chest.

Speaking of Dan, the man has his cheek pressed just below Phil’s collarbones, his features totally slack and his lips parted just enough to have breath flutter out from between them.

Phil strokes a gentle finger down Dan’s belly, basking in the silence of Dan’s room. All that can be heard is Dan’s steady breathing, complemented by the hint of snoring that Dan always denies he has.

After a few more minutes, Phil feels the traces of sleep begin to weigh his body down.

He subconsciously pulls Dan closer into him and his eyes slowly droop shut…

“Mmfph.”

Phil peeks an eye open to see Dan’s eyebrows scrunching, his face pulling into one of discomfort. He shifts a little on Phil’s chest, the heat of his position making Phil want to squirm.

He resists this urge, instead bringing a tired hand up to Dan’s hair and slowly massaging his scalp, hoping that will help calm his sleeping partner.

“Fffff… Don’t put- Phil.” Dan groans, a sleepy but unmistakable tone of annoyance in his voice.

Phil - too tired to laugh at Dan’s unusual sleep talking - just shushes his boyfriend softly, soothing him. “Shhh Dan, go to sleep.”

Dan squirms a little, his nose pressing uncomfortably into Phil’s ribcage. “Clooooooose the cupboards behind you, twat.” Dan slurs, the movement of his body creating even more heat.

Phil almost has to kick the duvet off.

“The cupboards aren’t open. Go to sleep.

It’s silent for a moment.

Phil’s body starts to relax back into the mattress again when-

“Wait, waht'er you- nah!” Dan crows, thrashing to the side abruptly and succeeding in smacking Phil in the left eye with a flailing arm.

Phil hisses and clutches for his eye, a long groan escaping him at Dan’s sudden hostility and garbled nonsense. “Dan!”

What the hell is Dan dreaming about?

Dan stills momentarily as Phil nurses his injury, not used to violence at 3:27am.

There’s quiet again and Phil can’t help but get his hopes up.

Slowly, his eyes droop shut…

“Mmm- Philllll, can you grab the mail?”

Fuck.

“Dan, it’s 3:34 in the morning; there is no mail. Go to sleep.”

“Th'postman is here.” Dan argues.

“No he’s not.” Phil sighs in annoyance. “Please go to sleep.”

“But-”

“Sleep.”

“I-”

Sleep.

“Mail’s still sitting th- love you.”

With a long, exasperated release of breath, Phil guides Dan closer into his body. “I love you too, Dan. But - I’m begging you - please go to sleep. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

And with that, a silence falls over Dan’s room once more.

**

It’s 7:42am when Phil wakes up.

He’s running off of three and a half hours of sleep (considering it took him another half hour to fall asleep after Dan’s last comment) as he stumbles down the hall and to the table, following the smell of pancakes.

Dan glances over his shoulder from the stove as Phil trudges in sleepily. “Morning.”

Phil just grumbles, dropping his head into his arms on the table.

“Don’t need to be rude.” Dan jokes lightly, snickering to himself.

Phil - oddly enough - does not find this funny.

He’s pulled out of a temporary sleeping state when Dan places two plates on the table.

Phil jumps, startled, and Dan chuckles. “No sleep, huh?”

A low grunt is his only response.

Yes, Phil is grumpy. But - to be fair - he didn’t even get four hours of sleep because of a stupid argument over the mail.

There’s a comfortable quiet at the table as they eat before Dan slowly speaks up. “I think the mail came in this morning. After breakfast, could you go down and grab i-”

Phil’s head shoots up and Dan recoils, almost falling off of his chair. “Jesus Christ, Phil! What’s gotten into you today?”

“I do not want to discuss the mail with you again.” Phil warns.

Dan just stares at him in bewilderment and confusion. “We never-”

“We did! Last night.”

“Phil, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Phil stares at Dan long and hard, but Dan’s baffled expression doesn’t change.

He really doesn’t remember.

With a heavy puff, Phil gets up and stalks downstairs to retrieve the mail.

**

3

A Grumpy Pete/Angry Pete comic based on Phil’s tale in his latest video of the grump man on the plane who actually told Dan to stop singing. Phil pretends that he “accidentally dropped” his headphones on the man, or that the “turbulence” made it happen, but come on we all know the truth 

(phil’s the nicest person ever this is meant to be a joke)