Buckynat prompt: throwing horrible pick up lines at each other
Bucky skips the most of the charity benefits the Avengers attend–it’s not like New York’s high society is clamoring to make small talk with a grumpy assassin anyway. (Bruce gets out of most events for similar reasons.) But sometimes Natasha will hear about a fundraiser for disabled veterans or land mine removal and put it on his calendar.
“They can send the invitation to me, you know,” he grumps, fastening his cufflinks. “You don’t have to manage me.”
Natasha fusses needlessly with his tie. “Stop being an ass. Being around strangers is stressful enough for you. I’m just trying to help.”
Bucky sighs, then puts his hand on Natasha’s face, gazing into her eyes. “Baby,” he says solemnly, “You’re so sweet you give me cavities.”
Her mouth flattens into an unimpressed line. “You’re going to have to do way better than that. Also, starting before we get there is cheating.”
Bucky can still make small talk when he needs to. It’s not as much of a chore for him as he lets everyone think it is. It’s being in a huge room with poor sightlines and hundreds of moving targets that makes him clammy. Nat always wears something that lets him keep an eye on her. Tonight it’s a pair of huge, glimmering earrings.
He watches them reflect light as she passes him, arching an eyebrow and murmuring, “Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?” Bucky bites the corner of his mouth to suppress a smirk.
“Going with the classics tonight, I see,” he says, handing her a glass of champagne.
“Maybe,” she replies. “Did you get any of that crab appetizer? It was amazing.”
“Yeah, I had, like, four. You know.” He tips his glass towards her conspiratorially. “They say you are what you eat.”
“And you’re crabby?” she hazards.
“I was gonna say, if that’s true, I could be you by tomorrow morning.”
She snorts, and Bucky clenches a fist in victory. “Point for me! Shot for you!” Neither of them can really get drunk, but it’s still enormous fun to throw back shots in formalwear.
Nat gets him when they sit down for dinner, swiping at something invisible on his pant leg. “Did you sit in sugar?” she asks with annoyance.
He starts to reply, “I don’t think so,” before she breaks in with “‘Cause you’ve got a sweet ass.”
“Goddamnit,” he mutters, signaling for the waiter.
She gets him again during the salad course, leaning over and saying seductively, “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”
There’s dancing after dinner, and that’s when they really get going.
There isn’t any room at the bar, so Bucky slings an arm over Natasha’s shoulders and says, “Don’t worry, as long as I have a face, you have a place to sit.”
Nat holds her sleeve to his face and says, “Excuse me, sorry, does this smell like chloroform to you?”
She asks what he wants to do when they get home and he says, “We could play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you.”
But they save their best/worst lines for when Steve is within earshot. Bucky waits until Steve’s taken a drink before cheerfully announcing to Nat, “Do you live on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.”
While Steve’s choking, she counters with, “Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach, and I think I should take you out.”
“That doesn’t even make sense!” Steve complains.
Nat pats his arm and says, “Sorry, sorry.” Then she runs her hand up and down his sleeve and adds innocently, “This jacket is nice. Is it made of boyfriend material?”
“No! No way,” he says firmly. “I will not be drawn into this weirdness. Good night to you both.”
As he strides away, Bucky calls, “I hate to see you to leave, but I love to watch you go!”
They both do shots after that one.