Every time I see one of those tumblr clickbate adds showing Miracle Beautified Hollywood Star Weight Loss, I feel a year being shaved off of my life expectancy. Or just Hollywood Weight loss campaigns period. Enough. Let movie stars eat fried chicken, let Rebel Wilson rock her fat black dress.
Ffs let the people that highlight entertainment media look like normal people. I’m tired of idolizing women shaped like sticks with and men shaped like Doritos (sorry Chris Evans)
Behold this terrifying and mighty serpent! But all is not as it seems:
Check out the oak leaves in the foreground. They aren’t huge—this snake is TINY.
The glowing eyes are 100% the product of my flash. It actually has brown eyes.
The threatening pose is all bluff. This is a harmless Eastern gartersnake (Thamnophis sirtalis). Most likely, it had just eaten (possibly a worm or grasshopper), which made it slower and more vulnerable—and very very nervous. I have a long lens and was pretty far from the snake as it did its serpent impression. I took a couple snaps and backed away even more, and it fled.
I would be more scared of an angry chipmunk than this cute faker. It’s really too bad there isn’t an Oscar for snakes.