laughter,
light,
love.

i am grateful for my friends;
that things turned out entirely differently from what i expected at age 15 about who would be in my life forever.

diversity,
intelligence,
compassion.

they are more than i ever could have asked for;
more than i thought i deserved, miraculous in their quality, marvelous in unquantifiable ways.

—  friendship, 176/365 (e.f.a.)
Goddess of the Day: July 5

Wakahirume - Japanese Goddess of Weaving.  Wakahirume is the favorite weaving maiden of Amaterasu, and in some myths her younger sister.  She is the rising sun, and as such has connections to fate, time, creativity, and new beginnings. A goddess of rebirth, She died after fatally puncturing her vagina on her weaving shuttle, symbolizing the death of innocence and maidenhood after sexual intercourse.

(text from Brandi Auset, The Goddess Guide. Art by stolenwings)

💫✨ @coolcalmcurly #naturalchixs #naturalhair #naturals #natural #texture #teamnatural #beautiful #healthy #hair #hairgrowth #hairjourney #hairstyles #growth #volume #love #curlyhair #curly #curls #gorgeous #embraceyourcurls #naturalista #fashion #myhaircrush #haircrush #uknaturals #makeup #beauty #Follow #cute #curlfriends 💜

July 2014 to Now

About year ago, I was finally stepping out of an extremely toxic relationship, into the real world. That’s exactly what it felt like. It all hit me at once that for the previous 2 years or so, I wasn’t really living. I had let my life slip through my fingers, and into the hands of another. I hadn’t loved myself or put myself first in God knows how long. I had lost control of my life. I had lost faith. I was so unaccustomed & afraid of being alone that I often asked myself, “How will I live without her?”. And it’s honestly not even about my ex, it’s the fact that I literally could not imagine life without another person by my side.

Fast forward a year later, I love myself more than I ever have. I am grateful for my life and hopeful for my future. I am closer with my family. I have an awesome job opportunity waiting for me at the end of this month. A program more than 300 people tested for, at least 100 interviewed for, and out of 30 chosen, I’m one of them. A program that a year ago, I would have felt that I wasn’t good enough for. I’ll be living in a house with my older sister in a couple of months. I’ve always wanted a stronger relationship with her, and I know this will lay that foundation. I have a dog that I love & will watch grow with me. In a couple of months I’ll be able to get the car I’ve always wanted. I’ll be able to travel. Get an education. Have my own shit again! Build my credit! I’ll be able to do so many things I’ve always daydreamed about. Adult things ( yay 😶 )

I’m not typing all of this to brag or convince myself that my life will be perfect, because I know that it’s not. It’s just to share my experience. I deleted my old blog and made this one to mark the start of my journey of self love, & it has been hard, and it’s no where near over. I still have growing to do. (That’s where the ‘Progressing Daily’ comes from if anyone wondered). 

If anyone reading this is going through a hard time, getting out of a toxic relationship of any kind, struggling financially, suicidal, ANYTHING. I want you to know THINGS WILL CHANGE. Things WILL get better. All you have to do is SPEAK IT INTO EXISTENCE. Your mind is the most powerful thing you will ever own. 

Spend time ALONE. Focus on SELF. Put yourself FIRST as much as you can. It’s going to be hard af, but you have to face your problems, & you have to face yourself. You need time to HEAL. I literally stayed in my room for at least 2 or 3 weeks, alone, no company, just me & my thoughts (& Netflix). It’s ok to not go out, it’s ok to not talk to anyone for a while. It’s ok to be depressed as long as you’re working on healing! God is real, energy is real, the Universe is real. If you think its all bullshit, find something else to believe in. Talk to that something. Thank that something. Ask that something to help you. If you’re having negative thoughts, literally drown them out with positive ones, even if it’s BS! Don’t use drugs or alcohol to ‘help you feel better’! You’re only running from yourself & you’re gonna start a dependency for it. & write down what you feeling!! It helps, trust me. 

Change doesn't happen overnight, it takes time and lots of practice. I can honestly say that I feel like a new person, I’ve watched myself grow, I’ve seen myself change for the better. And I can’t wait for all of you to be able to say the same.

Eon Sundries

Stages of life in our micro-sense
Evaluations of thus foretold in past-tense
Passion, conception and infancy
Childhood, adolescence and maturity

Individually formed randomly we conform
Collectively forged to an individual norm
Perceptions of fear dictate those to be free
Neolithic to renaissance to our contemporary

Stages of our life’s in the macro-sense
Evaluating lucidity of generations hence
Passion’s the start, when universes collide
Conception lets the atoms decide

Infancy opens eyes to minds a-spark
Childhood informs our fears of the dark
Siblings diverge consistent with urge
Violence to surge with power to purge

The time of adolescence, fire’s conceived
Ash to the wind, a world’s perceived
Sharing thought, love and hate universally
A university of diversity in an ever-changing sea

Young adults craft their tools to impress
Civility’s conjured with mid-age regress
Maturity may follow, though yet to see
This micro macro juncture’s where we seem to be

Like time itself mankind has many stages
Dark or enlightened vary though ages
With eon sundries since time had begun
Immature conclusions foretell a sundry of one

.

Sck070515

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Okay really torn, like I’m really considering getting my hair actually coloured like yesterday (photo on the right) but I will admit I do love my actual hair colour. But also, just these two photos next to eachother. Like a year between them. How much I have changed. And not in looks…but just…I’m not the person I was back then. I mean she is still here but man is she stronger and wiser, and little less naive.

I am excited to announce the listing of many original collages both new and old in my revived etsy shop in an attempt to live a life sustained by creating work that is fulfilling and healing. After a recent change in job paths I have decided to devote my time almost entirely to manifesting the reality of making art making a reality. I know this challenge will be difficult but after a lifetime spent barely scraping by I can’t afford any other path. This is my calling and so I must answer. And that means you you will be seeing much more frequent posts as I experiment with putting myself out there into the universe and I hope to maintain a flow of sustained soul-filling satisfaction as provided by the divine wonder of creation. Thank you for all your support over the years and for following along in my journey of discovery and growth. If not now, then when?

Happy full moon, new month, new you! Unfolding true.