it rained a lot that summer, when johnny worked part time bussing tables at the diner and callie tattooed flowers on everybody’s necks. we bruised easy and loved hard and both hurt more than they should’ve. johnny said we were gods and i said i wouldn’t take it so far, said maybe we’re just pretty damn great at pretending. callie said stop it but i didn’t stop it, just kept tearing down the almost temples. the flowers on our necks are going to fade and we’re going to go with them. i’m sorry johnny, some things just weren’t meant to be holy.
I feel like when you grow up you also grow apart. You grow apart from everyone you used to tell everything to. I miss how everything used to be. I took so much for granted all the sleepovers, how we always had something to say to one another. I just want it all back.
There are two ways a friendship dies. Way number one, you have a falling out. you both get angry at each other, stop talking and before you realize it, you've forgotten what you were mad about. You move on, and everytime you hear about or see that person, you get this twinge of emotion. its longing and sadness mixed with hurt. You were too proud to apologize and now its too late. The second kind is when you naturally drift apart. First you don't see each other physically anymore, at first its fine. You chat a lot, text constantly. Then the time it takes to respond gets longer. A couple of hours, then some days. “Sorry, i didn't see this.” is the main excuse. You scroll pass their name in your contacts without a second thought. You see them online, and you sign out, because you don't want to go through the formal motions “How are you?” “what’s new?” The conversations doesn’t flow as easily anymore. You once knew everything about this person, now you feel like an intrusive mother trying to connect to her daughter. Pretty soon you just stop talking altogether. You aren’t mad at each other, you just have no room for each other in your life anymore. You think about how close you once were and it makes you long for childhood. Of those two ways, I don’t know which one is worse.