growing up with a mental illness

How to Stop Beating Yourself Up

1. Try to understand where it came from. Why do you demand so much of yourself? Do you have tendencies towards perfection or self-hatred? If so, where do these come from?

2. Practice self-compassion. Everyone deserves to be loved and understood, to be allowed to make mistakes, and to take the time to grow. Give that to yourself. Don’t attack and hurt yourself.

3. Deliberately focus on positive self-talk. Being negative, impatient, critical and overbearing becomes so automatic that we don’t realize it’s a habit. So, interrupt that habit and be kind and positive.

4. Decide not to compare yourself to others. We tend to judge ourselves by the people who excel, or have an easier life, or who face few obstacles. It’s not a level playing field so don’t compare yourself. Remember you ARE changing, and you have a lot to give.

5. Make a note of compliments and nice things people say – then pull it out and read it when you start to feel you’ve failed. Remind yourself that others see your value and worth … And others see the good in you, and want you to succeed.

shoutout to people who cant/wont turn in their abusers because

  • they dont have proof of abuse
  • abusers were upstanding members of society
  • their abuse was legal
  • no one believes them
  • their abusers are old, dead, disabled, ill, or on their deathbed
  • their abusers are family members
  • they cant remember details of abuse
  • they didnt uncover abuse until later in life
  • they were abused by organizations
  • they dont know the names of thier abusers
  • theyve been threatened into staying quiet
  • they arent mentally stable enough to endure the investigation

and whatever other reason. people dont have to turn in their abusers for their abuse to be legitimate. so many of us cant prove what happened to us and are only left with the disorders that came with the horror we dealt with growing up.

it makes me sad that im seeing so many trauma survivors feel that they have to justify not taking abusers to court. some of us cant, some of us shouldnt, and some of us wont. please respect all survivors regardless of how they approach legal justice over abuse.

honestly??? isak and even’s relationship is the DEFINITION of “i dont want a gay story i want a story with gay characters" 

because being gay in this day and age is obviously going to be an issue, and something to work through. but it was never what this particular story was about - it was never about isak being gay. this season is about him growing as a person, about his relationships with other people. being gay is just a character trait that affects his life and relationships, just like having a mentally ill mom and rough past is a character trait that affects his relationships.

even isnt there to be a part of a gay story - he’s a gay character who’s there, as all side characters are, to help the protagonist do what he needs to do. so even’s there not only to help isak get over his issues and open up to people, but also to give him a reason to not have stigma against the mentally ill, to give isak a reason to think about making up wtih this mother.

they’re gay characters, and it IS a gay story, and so so much of it is about hte romance -  but its so much more beyond that. its so so good because having good rep isn’t just taking a straight story and changing the gender of one of the characters. its aCKNOWLEDGING the issues with being gay and what comes with that but not have that be the ENTIRE story, or the ENTIRE plot, or the REASON the story is being told. and im so so grateful

ok yeah the fact that symptoms of mental illness (bad hygine, unlivably messy bedrooms, irregular sleep schedules, constant fatigue, lack of motivation, etc) are associated with teenagers so strongly they’re stereotypes is actually really scary

no one cares about mentally ill teenagers

mental illness and the resulting misery is just a part of growing up

5

These Birds Walk (2013)

Today, July 8, 2016, Abdul Sattar Edhi passed away. The aforementioned documentary on his like (These Birds Walk), does a a serviceable job of teaching you of a great man. A man who some considered the greatest humanitarian alive.

He funded the Edhi Foundation after himself being a beggar, putting together the money he earned & community help to put together a very small house to help house the mentally ill, sick, and homeless. Today the Edhi Foundation is continuously growing, helping house everyone in need including children which is HUGE in Pakistan which suffers greatly with child kidnappings. He was called the greatest humanitarian alive by Huff Post & was given numerous honors including a Nobel Peace Prize nomination from the father of Malala Yousafzai.

He passed away due to kidney failure, before he passed he asked that everything be donated to anyone in need. Please, take a second to read up on a man who exemplified being a human, thoughtful & caring beyond  measure.

i hate how skins is treated on this website ? why is it this Sad Emo edgy teenager show that gets unrelated sappy b&w edits to random screencaps? skins was quite revolutionary lmao like… it dealt with so many different issues, from mental illnesses (not only depression but also bulimia, anorexia, bipolarity) to dysfunctional families(absent fathers, addict/controlling/abusive parents, disowned children, religious pressure from family and many more), from addiction/substance abuse to manipulation and emotional/physical abuse, from dealing with sexuality and gender to body image, from bullying to dealing with suicide/suicidal thoughts and death(specifically, of a close friend’s). the characters were also diverse: there was at least one gay/non-straight person in each gen, there were people of color, there were muslim people(tho i admit it wasnt very Good representation), autistic people, mentally ill people ALL AS LEADS. like, sure, it had a lot of problems with it, but honestly it was one of the best things for me growing up, it introduced me to so many issues i had never thought of, all while being made almost 10 years ago. most shows today arent even half as diverse as skins in both storylines and characters&actors. like, for the love of whatever you believe in, please, give it some credit.

It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.
—  Nicholas Sparks
In Defense of Holden Caulfield

I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever understand why exactly people hate Holden Caulfield from “The Catcher in the Rye”.

I mean, sure, you could defend your dislike with a classic gem such as, “Oh, he’s just a whiny, pretentious f***boy! He’s so boring, all he does is complain!”

But at that I’m just like

okay, wow, I’m sorry the incredibly depressed mentally ill teenager who has no true friends and is constantly being ignored by the people he tries to reach out to and is constantly being told he’s useless and a bad influence by his peers and has alluded to being sexually molested by multiple people as a little kid and has to deal with the pain and hardship of growing up in a world he can’t help but see as superficial and hypocritical and WHOSE CLASSMATE FRICKIN’ COMMITTED SUICIDE IN FRONT OF HIM isn’t a conventionally cheerful or likeable protagonist????

I don’t understand why that’s so hard for people to grasp; it just straight up BAFFLES me. I mean, people eke out all sorts of ways to like downright villains like Alex (DeLarge) or Loki or Ramsay Snow/Bolton, or antiheros like Jaime/Cersei Lannister, Sherlock Holmes, etc.

Why is it so hard to dole out a little sympathy for Holden, who, ultimately, just wants to protect children from the evils of the world—arguably one of the noblest and most heartbreakingly tender aspirations of all?

In all of what we are feeling and as we process these scenes, don’t forget that the very person Isak pushed away because he didn’t want to deal with people with mental illness, was the person he reached out to at the beginning of clip. I think that is very important. Isak, when he realized that Even was behaving unlike he had, made a decision to go look for him. Isak is growing as a person and I can’t wait to see how he embraces all that parts that make up Even. 

I just want to say something because even though i personally haven’t seen it on my dash, I’ve seen post that mention that some people agree with Sonja? Or hate Even?? And that just makes no sense to me so, have this story. 

I don’t have any sort of mental illness but I grew up around someone who does. My aunt. She has schizophrenia. 

Growing up I saw her have a couple of episodes. I heard my mom discuss her medications, her behavior, her doctors appointments. Running off to take care of her during the episodes I didn’t witness. Felt and witnessed the anxiety and fear for my aunts safety and well being. Through all this the one thing I never grew up with? The idea that she was wrong. That she was bad. That she was “crazy”. I never really saw her differently from any other member of my extend family. 

 Her kids though, they had a problem. 

You see, my aunt’s ex husband was not a good guy. He treated her disorder as something to blame on her. As if she somehow brought it on herself. My cousins grew up with the same mentality. There is a lot of other stuff here but I won’t talk about that. The story i want to talk about is this one.

A couple of years after her divorce my aunt met someone. My cousins weren’t thrilled about this. They accused him of taking advantage of my aunt. Then after 2 years of dating and one big episode, my cousins decided to commit her. My aunts boyfriend was having none of that. He fought for her. And he won.  

I remember my mother asking him if he was sure, if he wanted to take on the responsibility of taking care of her. Do you know what he said? He said she’s always been his responsibility because he loves her. 

They’ve been together nearly 20 years. My aunt hasn’t stopped having episodes. She hasn’t stopped taking medication. It’s been ups and downs. But I never ONCE doubted his love for her. HE NEVER ONCE DOUBTED HER LOVE FOR HIM. They have and continue to live a full happy life together.

Having a mental illness does NOT invalidate someones personhood. It does NOT invalidate their emotions. It does NOT invalidate their trauma. It absolutely does NOT make them unlovable or incapable of love. 

In conclusion: Even deserves everything good and pure in the world and Sonja needs to grow up and get that Even doesn’t need a babysitter, he needs a partner. And she clearly isn’t it. 

Okay this might be a very unpopular opinion but I’m sick of people boycotting Split. These people claim that this movie will demonize the mental illness portrayed in that movie and it’s a big no no that everyone should get angry about.

I say fucking no.

First of all horror movies take any topic and demonize it. That’s what “HORROR” means. Grow up.

Second - where were you when other movies like “The Disappointments Room”, “The Visit”, “The Ward” and hundreds UPON hundreds of movies demonized other mental illnesses?

You’re against Split because it’s big, because you might relate to it on the personal level. You weren’t here when depression, grief and other illnesses were demonized for years and years. Hell, “The Ward” basically has the same plot and where were you when it came out????

So stop being hypocrites that you are and grow up.

When I was 10, my heart rate reached 200, but I was told the monitor must not be working.

When I was 17, I was diagnosed with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome.

When I was 11, I was told my joint pain was just growing pains.

When I was 17, I was diagnosed with Ehlers danlos syndrome.

When I was 12, I was called lazy.

When I was 17, I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome.

Keep fighting my loves. Don’t give up.

Just More BPD Things:

- growing up not realizing that mood swings aren’t normal. it was a shock finding out that most people don’t have emotions that fluctuate frequently. being confused bc it makes no sense for people to not have their emotions change whenever an emotional thing happens?? like what do they DO all day????

- relating to things is gr8 bc relating means identifying, and having another misc. thing to add to your forged identity is great.

- not being able to form opinions for some godforsaken reason?? it’s like splitting on ideas and it fucking sucks. “that person has a good point! no wait, THIS person has a better point!! no, no, that’s wrong, this is what’s right. acTUALL-” it’s neverending.

- having an identity??? what does that even mean.

- “tell me about yourself” ??????????????????????????????

- the best “identity” you’ve got is just a bunch of random facts about you.

- you have no concept of different opinions when it comes to personal morality. if somebody believes something that you think is wrong is actually right, then they’re automatically a Bad Person.

- using every possible opportunity to talk about yourself.

- people not saying anything in the tags when they reblog your post feels like a personal offense.

-randomly fantasizing about terrible things happening to you?? like your dog dying, or being attacked in the middle of the night. just because.

- your favorite color, season, animal, etc, depends on what day it is.

- that “NOTHING is my fault, how fucking dare you attack/accuse me??!?!” mood.

2

I don’t insist that any of my ideas or opinions are the perfect form, but I’ve kind of accepted the fact that I’m a role model for a lot of different types. I’m mixed race—my dad is black and my mom is white—and I’m very pale. Growing up there weren’t a lot of mixed people in the media who were as pale as I was. I always felt like I was too light to identify with anyone else. I now have girls reach out to me all the time and say, ‘I’m mixed race like you and I’m just as white as you are. Thank you for being that for me.’ Or, you know, someone reaches out with a mental illness or someone reaches out who is, you know, a feminist. I just like to be the in-between role model—the one I didn’t have growing up. At the same time, if I’m going to be a role model, I would rather kids idolize my intention to do good and my intention to be myself and my intention to be different rather than my actions. I think my intentions are more admirable than my actions.

I don’t think people get what growing up with strict parents can do to you. I am so massively paranoid that my parents will invade my privacy and learn something I do not want them to learn and I will get in huge trouble. When my name is called there is always a moment of fear. I do not get short punishments and they often become permanent. I have my ass handed to me over making a B and told how I am not trying as I am crumbling under stress. I am told to get over my mental illnesses and that honestly it’s ridiculous to be scared of other people and to not be “so self absorbed”. I live in constant fear that I will be cut off from everyone and that I will become so fucking alone and it honestly is not something you should ever do to your child. I don’t get to go out with friends all that much and am to the point I’m scared to ask my parents for anything. It is hell and to be honest when I get freedom again I do not know how I will handle it. I want to live my life now, but I am not able to.

it’s 3am and i’m legit tearing up because!! natsume is still SO afraid of the fujiwaras finding out that he can see things that others can’t since that tended to be the root of his alienation (and heavily implied abuse) in the past and he doesn’t even realize that they. already know?? like obviously they don’t know the full extent of it, but they’ve both heard the stories from his other foster families and touko witnessed him talking about a white crow she wasn’t able to see, and like obviously she’s a bit surprised and bewildered at first but when she puts it together she just! is happy that he’s not alone, even if it’s only in his own mind

i could write ESSAYS on natsume yuujinchou being an allegory for growing up with mental illness/psychosis and finally finding people who accept you and love you for it (even if you’re slow to realize it) and being able to start to overcome years of neglect and abuse, and the crow scene is just…. so perfectly incredibly poignant in that context

Can we please talk about how utterly wonderful Isak is handling the discovery that Even is mentally ill ? See, when someone has never experienced first hand what it’s like to battle a mental illness , being faced with the fact that a person you love DOES can be scary . It can be so scary that it’s totally legit that some become distant and run away . No judgement here . But Isak is literally being a pure angel in this whole situation . He gives Even time . He gives HIMSELF time to process and he RESEARCHES. Isak has undergone a heavy amount of growing up this season and the fact that he DOES NOT RUN BUT MEETS EVEN HALFWAY assuring him gently , without a ton of words , that he will stay and that Evens illness does not change a single thing except for ( probably ) more awareness is so important and so wonderful and everyone who ever experienced the fear of being rejected because of an mental illness knows what it meant for Even when Isak gently kissed and hugged him. HE WAS SO SCARED but Isak is literally being the most precious thing on this planet and I love this show for bringing awareness to topics like that and raising sensitivity towards those matters all while portraying it truthfully.

I hope every single one of you will wake up next to an Isak one day