grow your love

Everything is temporary.

The most troublesome situations often lead to the most astounding growth of your character. Don’t give up now; you can and you will get through this.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

Find your people. I don’t mean someone who also likes the same tv shows as you or someone who shares your love for cereal. Your people will bring out the best in you. Your people will trust and believe before they judge or assume. Your people will always be your people no matter how far you grow apart in distance.

6

ROBINS + LABELS (Happy birthday, @henwick aka my sweet smol child!)

You cannot see a tree as it grows. Only with time can you see it’s progress.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

when they’re older, and the universe is saved, and they’re back on earth, and they’re living together as boyfriends

why do i feel like lance would be the type of boyfriend that is always being extra in public (holding the door for keith, walking on the edge of the sidewalk for keith, swinging their hands as they walk, kissing keith’s face for no reason, bragging to anyone that’ll listen about how cool and amazing his bf is, etc.) but when he’s alone with keith, it’s like even though he’s never felt more at home, somehow having keith to himself still makes him nervous, in a good way, like being alone with a high school crush

meanwhile keith, would be the type of boyfriend to play it cool in public (either smiling, laughing or rolling his eyes at whatever lance is doing, hugging and cuddling against lance a lot for no reason other than cause he wants to, maybe kissing if lance is up for it) but when he has lance alone it’s like, they’ll get home and lance will lock the door, not even getting the chance to put down his keys before keith is already up against him, grabbing at his collar, and lance has to be like ‘wwoah babe slow down’

Ways to Love Yourself 

1. Know yourself
You cannot love someone you don’t even know.

 

2. Accept that you have strengths and weaknesses. You have skills and problems.
Do a SWOT Analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) of yourself if you want but remember, opportunities and threats are external. You don’t have control over them. But you can use your strengths and improve on your weaknesses, both of which are internal, to handle the external.

 

3. Disliking certain things about yourself is normal. That gives room for improvement. Improve. Don’t be lazy and choose the path of self loathing.

 

4. Forgive yourself
Understand that making mistakes is the way to grow. If you hadn’t fallen on your bum a couple hundred times you would have never learned to walk. If as a baby after one fall, after one mistake of breaking something, you would have decided to just sit in the corner and never try again, you would still be sitting there with the broken pieces. Don’t do that. Learn from your toddler self. Get up. And the only way you can do that is by forgiving yourself.

 

5. Accept that as of now you do not love yourself.
Lying to yourself won’t eventually lead you to believe it as the truth. Lying to someone you love is not a way to love them.

 

6. Disregard what others say about you. So much of the good and bad they tell you really has more to do with themselves; their mindset and mood, their motives and interest. Don’t let people fill in blanks for you. That won’t lead to a happy ending, it won’t lead to a story you can call your own.

 

7. Be patient with yourself, be kind. Being hard on yourself is a really stupid thing to do. It isn’t productive, it isn’t one bit effective and it is completely unnecessary.

 

8. Discard the idea that you are breakable. Reject the concept that someone can leave you broken. They can hurt you, yes and they can cause you an immense amount of pain but they cannot break you. You aren’t made of glass. Give your cells a little more credit. Give your heart a little more of it too.

 

9. When you realize that the grass is greener on the other side, don’t draw up plans to ruin that grass or come up with a way where you can camp on it and abandon your own grass. Instead, take a trip to the shop to buy some fertilizer and tend to your own grass. Upskill yourself constantly.

 

10. Learn new things. Invest time and energy in things that interest you.You didn’t learn to play piano in school but always wished to? Who said there is an age limit. In most cases the saying, ‘it is never too late’ stands absolutely true.

 

11. Look yourself in the mirror. You can admire or just observe. Look into your eyes. Look at your reflection. Just look. Have a see in what’s inside. Don’t look away. Have the courage to see the truth.

 

12. Spend time with yourself. Buy yourself flowers if flowers are what you love. Don’t wait to meet the right person to do the things you always wanted to. Go star gazing, skinny dipping. Solo travel. Do whatever you want to and can. Write your future/past self a letter. Cook yourself a meal. Buy yourself some ice cream. Click goofy selfies.

 

13. Learn to accept compliments. Be graceful. All you have to do is say ‘thank you’. And please don’t feel the immediate need of returning the compliment. You don’t always have to give when you get. Especially when you don’t really have anything to give. A ‘thank you’ and a smile are more than enough.

 

14. Learn to be okay in silence. The voices in your head? They terrorize you, I know. But trust me, they go away. They go away if you face them. There are no demons in your head. These are just echoes of your fears and insecurities. Listen to them. Breathe deep. Know that they are weak. Face them head on. And then ask them to leave.

 

15. Accept your body. However it is or it isn’t. It has accepted you in every possible way. Accept it and see how it accepts you even more. Accepting doesn’t mean not changing something that you can in a healthy way. It only means that your love is unconditional. Your love is whole. And that is the only way to love yourself. Wholly.

 
Your life is like your own craft; you create it to be how you’d like for it to be. You decide what it looks like. You decide how it turns out.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
To my future daughter,                                                                                                              
 I’m sorry for all the hurt the world will inflict on you.
I wish I could protect you,
But I can’t.                                                                                                                           
Instead, I will teach you what my mother failed to teach me.                                                                                                                                   
  i. You are more than your body.
The world will tell you, you are nothing but lips and curves.
Only thigh gaps and soft brown waves of hair.
They are wrong, baby.
There are universes in your eyelashes,
Worlds caved into your ribs.
You are entirely too big for your body, for this world.
Your world is held together by skin and bones, but you are more than the stitching at your seams.
You are wonder.
And grace.
And beauty, all in one.                                                                                                                           
  ii. The world is at your service.
Never let anyone tell you you cannot be anything you want.
Honey, you might not be able to be everything,
But you sure hell can be something.
Anything.
Be an astronaut, if you want to see what the world is like away from all the noise.
Be a doctor, if you want to know what its like to hold a beating heart in your hand.
Be a teacher, if you want to see true wonder in those around you.
Be all of it or none of it.
The world will be what you make it.
And you can make it how you want.                                                                                                              
 iii. Please don’t resent me for when I try to protect you
I wish my mother had taught me to thicken my skin,
To hold my breath around bullies
And not let them see me bleed.
I wish I’d been taught tough love.
I walked down hallways with a hood of slurs covering me, tears burning acid on my cheeks.
Instead, I was taught unconditional love, which is great but it won’t help.
Not when it really matters.
It won’t prevent the scratches you draw across your arms when times get tough.
The blood drawn will heal with kisses, slowly, but they will still bleed.                                                                                                              
 iv. Befriend the outsider.
Because, my darling, we are all the outsiders, some are just outsiders together.
The girl with the pink hair has a story behind her eyes as well as her tattoos.
Take time to listen to it.
It might shift your world a little bit.
The boy with the acne always running, running, running.
He might be running from more than his problems.
Maybe his mind, maybe the love he doesn’t know how to show.
He might let you run with him, if you ask.                                                                                                              
 v. They’re going to leave you, whoever they are.
A friend, a lover, a companion.
They will say they won’t - but they will.
And that’s okay.
Your heart will wither when the door slams on his way out.
Tears stream down your face when another message remains unanswered.
That’s okay too. It will all be okay.
Not at first, but eventually.
Because we are all on our own journey and maybe yours don’t intersect anymore.
Life is big and messy but sometimes it’s not big enough for all of us.                                                                                                                           
So, do it all.
Be tall with short hair.
Short with purple hair.
Loud with a small voice. 
Small with a big heart.
Be anything you want, baby.
Be it all.                                                                                                                           
Because this world is yours.
And what anyone else says doesn’t matter.
And you are made, grown and built to conquer it.
—  To My Future Daughter (For The Road)
Be present. Make love. Make tea. Avoid small talk. Embrace conversation. Buy a plant, water it. Make your bed. Make someone else’s bed. Have a smart mouth, and quick wit. Run. Make art. Create. Swim in the ocean. Swim in the rain. Take chances. Ask questions. Make mistakes. Learn. Know your worth. Love fiercely. Forgive quickly. Let go of what doesn’t make you happy. Grow.
—  Paolo Coelho