for those of you who read [my post] about my terrible d&d character, you might be wondering who he is and how exactly did he become so, so incompetent
well here’s some basic facts about him:
his totally not fake and definitely real name is Rowen Goodfellow…. which once again is totally not an alias
he is a 30-year-old, charlatan human man
a group of criminal gnomes stole him from the hospital as a baby (they did so by disguising themselves as a group of bearded babies)
he was basically raised by the gnome mafia…. sure, okay....
“why did the gnomes steal him?” ..…..they lost their ladder and needed someone tall enough to reach the top shelves in their homes
“but he was a baby? how did he reach the shelves?” he didn’t. the gnomes literally raised a human child and waited like 13 years for him to grow tall enough to reach the top shelves…. they did this instead of buying/stealing a $10 ladder…
he left home at 18 and travelled alone selling worthless junk and stealing everything he could get his hands on
he made SO MANY ENEMIES (some of which were very dangerous criminals)
in order to protect himself from all the people he stole from, he used his charisma to romance and marry a very notable and successful criminal
he originally married her to scare off his enemies, but he eventually fell in love after getting to know her as a person. But because he’s a little trash prince, he ran away from her as soon as he noticed he had developed feelings.
so he is currently on the run because his wife is hunting him down and looking for revenge (because she now knows that she married a little fuck boy)
this being said, based on his actions in the game it’s clear that he still loves her and remains completely loyal (ie: he continues to wear his wedding ring and refuses to seriously romance any other person)
his party thinks his wife was murdered by criminals looking for revenge because he’s still a little liar trash boy and we can’t forget that
“will he apologize? will his wife forgive him?” who knows…. it all depends on the roll
Summary: The reader is paired with Severus for a duel and to get back at the Marauders for everything, he decides to try out his new spell on the reader
Author’s Note: Before anyone says anything, I do not hate Snape, nor do I think he’s a bad guy. I also don’t believe he is actually dumb enough to use Sectumsempra. I just thought this situation would make a cute story
“You know how much I hate coming to this thing. Especially when you insist on dueling.” Remus whined. You ruffled his hair and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
“I’ll be fine,” You laughed. “Besides, has anyone ever been better than me with a wand?” Sirius coughed loudly and snickered. You sighed. “Anyone other than Sirius?”
“And don’t you forget it.” The black haired boy joked. You shuttered at the memory of your last duel with Sirius. He hadn’t hurt of course, you were like a younger sister to him- but you did end up with green skin for almost a week. The crowd of students cheered as James defeated Lucius Malfoy with a dancing charm. James bowed theatrically and joined the three of you.
“Atta boy James!” Sirius shouted. Everyone chuckled as Lucius did an Irish jig off the dueling platform.
“Next we’ll have Y/F/N Y/L/N.” The professor in charge announced. The other marauders hollered and Remus sighed, reluctantly releasing his grip on your hand. You turned to face him, lacing your fingers in his hair and pulling his lips to yours, moving your lips together while the Marauders let out hoots and cat-calls. Remus pulled away and rolled his eyes playfully, placing a light and delicate kiss on your forehead. You stepped unto the platform proudly, boldly looking around, your eyes daring someone to come against you.
“Your opponent is Severus Snape.” The professor added before looking back down at the papers he was grading instead of supervising the duel. James and Sirius laughed loudly. You couldn’t help but chuckled as Severus joined you, his greasy, dark curtain of hair falling in his face.
“Snivellus doesn’t stand a chance!” Sirius yelled and they erupted in more laughter. You paced towards him, and he stepped towards you. When the two of you were only a few inches apart, you smirked, raising your wand to your face. But you noticed that Severus wasn’t even looking at you. Instead, his glare was deadly focused on James and Sirius, who were still calling out your name in a chanting chorus. Narrowing your eyes, you bowed before turning around and walking the right amount of steps. You quickly turned back to face your opponent, wand raised.
“Sectumsempra!” Severus screamed, and in the moment before the spell hit your body, you were trying to figure out what he had just said for it was no spell you had ever heard of. A blinding flash of white light slammed into your chest, flinging you across the room.