ground hey

Every OJST Comic
  • Erika Moen, buried neck deep in the ground: Hey, guys. Today we have a special guest comic from the guy who lives in the sewage pipe behind my house. Hopefully this one doesn't get too FILTHY for you.
  • Some Guy: Gee, it sure is boring around here.
  • Dirt Monger: *poofs out of nowhere*
  • Some Guy: Who are you!!!????
  • Dirt Monger: I'm the dirt monger and I love eating dirt for sexual pleasure.
  • Some Guy: You mean shoveling tons of dirt into your mouth!!!!!?????????????????
  • Dirt Monger: Yes, it's a completely valid normal way of exploring your kinky identity.
  • Some Guy: But, isn't eating dirt SUPER UNHEALTHY.
  • Dirt Monger: Not at all if you follow SAFE DIRT PROTOCOLS. Always make sure to wear dental dam while consuming dirt sexually and to never actually swallow dirt because you don't want that shit in your stomach. Set up code phrases with your partner like "More Dirt" and "Not Enough Dirt" if you don't think you're getting your fair share of dirt shoveled directly into your stupid fucking face.
  • Some Guy: Wow, I'm so turned on right now.
  • Dirt Monger: That's the spirit. Consuming dirt like a human backhoe is a great way to bond with your partner and discover more about yourself as well.
  • Some Guy: I can't wait to eat dirt like the disgusting troglodyte that I am. Actually, can we mud too?
  • Dirt Monger: No, you dumbass! Dirt and mud are completely unrelated things! I'm the dirt monger, not the mud monger! Do you think I'm stupid?
  • Some Guy: Jeez, sorry I asked.
  • Dirt Monger: Hahaha! One more thing, eating dirt has a direct connection to several radical far-right subcultures. Googling dirt eating may take you down a dark path. I just want everyone to know that they do not represent the whole of the dirt eating community. You can practice the sexual consumption of dirt without turning into a nazi. We completely and entirely disavow fascist dirt eaters. THANKS FOR READING.

kiyumiarashi  asked:

Tell us about the parrots and the zipline? That sounds like the worst thing to happen ever.

Oh boy ok brace yourself cause this entire debacle was just a mess. Imma tell the story of this entire day cause it was just absolute bs 

So I’m in Mexico with my family, yknow, having a nice vacation. My dad doesn’t do heat, so it was just my grandparents, my mom, and me. Keep in mind, I was like, 16 at the time, so this was a few years ago now. 

So, i fully admit, I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Always have been, always will be. So when they said we could go to a massive park that was 90% underground, and the rest was like 300ft in the air, i jumped at the opprotunity.

so we get there and I immediatly beeline for the ziplines. Now, you can’t just do one of these suckers. Once you do one, there’s no going back until you’ve conquered all 12 (or something like that, there was a lot.) It took the better part of two exhausting hours to get through them all. 

So before the parrot issue there was some other bs first. We brought my best friend with me that year, but because we were both too light, we had to go tandum for a lot of the lines, or else we wouldn’t make it across. We’d just get stuck in the middle of the line dangling like a pinata, and no body wants that.

so the first bs comes along. I’m singing the batman theme song to keep my friend calm, because she is not a fan of heights. Like, we are screaming NANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAN at the top of our lungs. And we look ahead and see this massive gap in the trees. Now, we’d gone over a couple cinotes already where we could see the people doing the under ground activities. We figued, hey, let’s laugh at the people doing the river swim that’ll make us feel better. SO we get up on it and my friend starts freak tf out. It wasn’t a cinote.

it was a snake pit.

A massive round, man made snake pit will with hundreds of writhing snakes. They were climbing the walls, even the trees that were like 3ft from our toes. So we’re freaking out like “I don’t wanna be indiana jones i’m too young!!” But we pass it with no problem. We keep going another few second or so, and we see another break in the trees. We’re bracing like cause we assume it was another snake pit. It wasn’t.

It was a crocodile pit.

cue freak out number two.

but we pass it and all is well. Then we come onto the landing strip. We were just starting out so this one was pretty low to the ground. And then i see a weird shape on the grass landing pad.

There was a crocodile on the lawn

we freaked OUT like you wouldn’t believe.

so we’re soaring at this thing and there’s no stopping. We’re waving at the guys who are supposed to catch us with a net like “yo guys u got a coc problem.” and they don’t seem bothered in the slightest. We pass over this thing and it doesn’t move, but i’m 99% sure i tried to kick it. Now we’re free we’re safe and we should be slowing down…why aren’t we slowing down.

we slam into the safety net full force and bounce back a couple feet. When we manage to unhook ourselves we find the two duded pissing themselves laughing.

it was a fake crocodile. i tried to kick a concrete lawn ornament.


onto the parrots.


for this next one my friend was freaking out, as we were over 300ft up. I wanted to go asap so i went attached to my mom instead. At this point, i am alrady 5′8″, and my mom is like 5′5″. so you have this massive beanpole of a child strapped to her tiny mother. So we take off and our combined weight has us absolutely flying down the line. It’s all idealyic and serene, and i’m enjoying my crocodile free cruise. I look down and through a break in the trees i spot the amphibian vehicles going in and out of the cave systems. All good. Right beside them is a pack of leopards sunning themselves on a rock, which is also directly below us. and im thinking “wow, this would a crappy time to fall” immediatly i hear

thunkthunkthunkthunkthunk

my legs hurt all of a sudden. I glance down and see blood dripping down my leg. Mom is screaming/laughing.

we hit a flock of parents mid flight

and they were pissed.

So im screaming and swatting at them, they’re screeching like little feathered demons and pecking t us, some were dangling off my shoe laces, shriekingly like hellions. I still have scars from those suckers. They eventually fly off starnig us down like “dont ever come to our terf again” 

we finished the ziplines without incident after that.

but my day isnt over yet.

we have a wonderful lunch, i get my legs cleaned up, and we make the trek to the amphibian vehicles i saw earlier. We hop in and we’re going through the motions. Up and down, into caves and out. Super cool. Loved it.Then we come to where i saw the leopards.

all the cars in front of us pass without incident.

the second we roll up the leopards perk up and start running after us

cue freakout number 4654783

now, my grandpa is driving and i’m sitting there, with nothing but a mesh door between me and a pack of leopards

“grandpa go faster, we gotta goooo” and he just looks at me all calm like

“i know why they’re here.”

“THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW WHY THEY’RE HERE GO FASTER”

He just calmly, oh so casually, pulls out a hot dog from lunch.I just kinda stare at him like GRANDPA

Obviously i do the smart thing

i grab that stupid hot dog at chuck at the nearest leopard

i hit it in the face

they all fall on each other trying to get a taste of that mustardy goodness and we take that moment to make our escape


and that was my” wth is going on in mexico extravaganza”

and that day didn’t even include the sting ray incident

Babysitter

Summary:  You were visiting home for the weekend to find out that your parents have hired a new babysitter.

Pairing: Kim Taehyung (V) / Reader

Genre: Smut

Words: 3.3k

A/N: Rated M - under 18 you have been warned :)

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4Masterlist


You were finally coming home to visit your family, from spending an exhausting year at college. Summer break! Finally some relaxation, hopefully. Your younger siblings might make that impossible.

As soon as you packed your bags for the next few months you had to say goodbye to your roommate/ best friend.

“We are definitely hanging out.” You gladly accepted her request. She only lived an hour from your parents house.

-

As you stood outside your family home, something felt different. You felt like you’ve been gone for so long. You were only a freshman in college, so much change in so little time.

You walked into your house expecting loud chaos from your brother and sister but surprised from the quiet.

“Hello….I’m home.” No answer.

You heard faint screaming in the backyard. As soon as you open the sliding glass door, you saw the kids running, your father grilling and your mother basking in the sun. You missed this.

“(Y/N)’S home!!” You heard your brother and sister run over.

“I missed you guys.” You said as you got smothered into hugs.

-

The few hours you have been home, your old childhood friends were already contacting you to come hang out tonight. It was already 6 o'clock when you went downstairs ready to leave but you noticed that your parents were dressed in a fancy get-up.

“Are you guys going out?” You wished for a no, but judging by their clothes that would be unbelievable.

“Yes, the company your father works for is hosting a dinner party.”

You did your best to try to stay calm, you knew if you complained about having to babysit, you would sound stubborn from only being home a day.

“Does that mean I have to stay home?”

“Where are you going?” Your mother questioned.

“Liz and Sana asked me to come over.” You nervously asked.

“Can Tae watch us?” Your twelve year old brother interrupt.

“Please, please.” Your seven year old sister joined in.

“Who’s Tae?” You asked your parents.

“He’s the babysitter we hired while you were at school.” He?

“Okay I guess, you guys wear that poor kid out.” Your mother answered. He must be some high school kid trying to make money for a new car or worse video games.

“So…I can go?” You already tried to walk towards the door.

“Fine….I’ll call Taehyung….but please keep your phone on just in case.” Your mother demanded.

-

“These were the days.” Sana said as she sipped her beer. You were at a beach party, scattered around a bon fire. In high school, this was your weekend. Even though you’re not old enough to drink, but that never stopped the young people around here.

It’s your decision to not get too drunk though. You hated the experience and you got grounded for a month.

“Hey (Y/N), long time no see.” You saw your ex, if you can call him that Youngjin.

You dated him for a solid month, until you found out he was cheating on you. After you broke things off he would occasionally hit on you and other women in your perspective. It got annoying that you even gave him a bloody nose once.

“Aren’t you looking beautiful tonight.”

You didn’t answer you just smirked and turned your back.

“I’m going to get a drink.” You left.

As you leaned down to open the cooler you felt someone aggressively grab your ass. The pain shot your attention to the person behind you. Youngjin.

“Get your fucking hands off of me.” You felt a little dizzy from the alcohol but you still had your right mind to not let that type of behavior pass.

“What’s wrong, don’t you like that?” He teased.

You pushed him away hard enough to make him lose his balance.

-

Youngjin had ruined your night and you decided to head home. You didn’t feel sick but you did feel tired. As soon as you got home you saw your parents pull up the driveway. Great, what if they can smell the alcohol on you?

You followed your parents footsteps walking through the door.

“How were they?” You heard your parents talking in the living room.

“They were good.” You heard a genuine voice. Must be the babysitter.

“They’re sleeping already.” Your mother told your father.

“Oh (Y/N)….come meet Taehyung.” Your mom caught you half way up the staircase.

You quietly groaned as you made your way to the living room.

“Tae this is our daughter (Y/N).” Your mother moved out of your view to reveal your new replacement and your siblings new best friend.

“Hel-” You started to say but got caught off guard as soon as you saw the mystery man. You felt your mind go into a daze, he was so handsome. You felt butterflies in your stomach, how can someone make you so tongue tied.

“Hi.” You cleared your throat. As soon as you felt him embrace your hand you felt tingles shot throughtout your body.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled an adorable smile that made you felt weak. “Your brother and sister share a lot of stories about you.”

You immediately blushed, knowing your sibling those stories were most likely embarrassing.

“Thank you for coming.” Your mother grabbed his attention from yours.

“It’s no problem, they’re entertaining.”  Your father laughed patting him on the back.

“Have a safe drive home.” Your mother hugged him. He really was your replacement, he was like part of the family now. He even got your brother and sister to bed quicker then you ever have.

“Bye.” You were caught staring the entire time.

“Have you been drinking?” You didn’t pay attention to your mother, you only paid attention to the adorable creature smirking at you as he walked out the door.

“(Y/N)? You have haven’t you? I can smell it.” Your mother pinched the top of her nose to stop a headache passing through.

“Those girls have always been a bad influence.”

“Mom no worries I only had like two drinks….trust me the first time was enough for me I never want to get drunk again.”

“Okay fine but please be responsible, you’re still considered under age.”

“For only three more months.” You defended.

“Doesn’t matter sweetie, the law is the law.” Your father rubbed your back then went upstairs.

“So Tae was cute wasn’t he?” Your mother teased.

“Mom.” You tried to hide your blush.

“He’s a nice boy.” Then your mother left you alone with your thoughts.

-

You made your way to the kitchen too early for your liking but school got you in the habit, even though you still felt groggy.

“(Y/N) sweetie, Taehyung will be here later to pick this up okay?” Your mother waved an envelope. “We didn’t have the cash to pay him last night, so he’s coming to pick it up okay.”

“Okay.” You yawned.

“Come on lets go.” Your mother guided your brother and sister out so they wouldn’t miss the school bus. They still had a another three weeks of school left.

-

You were bumming around just watching TV, when you heard the doorbell. You didn’t even think about it, you just got up and dragged yourself to the door.

When you opened the door you froze. Shit! Your mothers words flashed through your mind. Taehyung was suppose to pick up last night’s pay. If only you were more awake when your mother told you.

Here you were standing in front of an attractive man, wearing yoga shorts, baggy t-shirt, and hair tied up in a messy bun.

“Hi.” You nervously greeted.

“Hey.” He smiled. Butterflies, as he looked at your attire up and down.

“Sorry, I completely forgot you were coming.” You ran to kitchen quickly. As you searched through the kitchen drawers you couldn’t figure out where your mom could have put the envelope.

While you were still searching you heard someone clear their throat to get your attention.

“I got it.” You saw him take it off the magnet from the fridge.

“There it is.” You embarrassingly stated, causing him to laugh.

“How come you’re not in school, I figured you’re in high school?”

He laughed. “No I’m twenty-one.”

“Oh.” He’s older then you. “Are you in college?”

“No, I work with my parents.”

“Cool.” You said cheerfully, but you were just an awkward mess.

“I guess I better get going.” He smiled and started to leave.

“Okay see you later….or not…or I don’t know.” He turned around slightly and arched his eyebrows. Then he laughed cutely and shut the door behind him. You slapped your forehead disappointed in yourself.

“Why are you so awkward?” You whispered to yourself.

-

“You better be here in ten or we are leaving without you.” Liz snapped at you on the phone.

It was a few days later and your parents made plans for a social gathering for another work related thing. Your parents were pretty popular around the neighborhood.

You basically begged your mom to call Taehyung to babysit at last minute because your friends were hounding you to go to another party.

Your mother made the call, apologizing in the process, but you had to wait for Tae to get here yourself because your parents were running late. Your brother and sister was of course excited, they beg for him to be here all the time, even if your parents are home.

When you hung up the phone call with your friend, you heard a knock on the door.

You rushed over to answer and there he was, looking attractive as ever.

“Hi.” You greeted. He smiled, but as soon as he saw your outfit he was taken back. You couldn’t read his facial expression, he just looked shocked. Was it too much? You settled in a tight black skirt, stopping mid-thigh and a long sleeve black and red crop top that stopped right before your waist. It wasn’t too revealing but not too clean either.

As soon as he slightly brushed past you, you heard your sister run into the room and attacked Tae with hugs, not to long your brother.

“Okay, my number is on the fridge if you need me.”

“Bye.” Your sister waved, not even paying attention.

“I wont be too long.”

“Don’t have too much fun.” Taehyung smirked.

-

The party was a disaster, it was over crowed, you were constantly getting dry humped on by dumb drunks and better yet your friends abandoned you, probably some random hook up. You have only been here two hours and counting.

As you were getting ready to leave, you bumped into someone. “Hey sexy.” Youngjin. Ugh.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. Goodbye,” but before you could leave he grabbed your wrist pushing you up against the wall.

“Let go.” He put his lips onto yours. You tried all your strength to push him off but he was not budging.

You bit his lip as hard as you can and kneed him in the stomach, giving you a few seconds to make a run for it.

“You bitch!” You heard him shout in pain.

-

You drove home as quick as you can not caring about leaving your friends. They can find their own ride. You didn’t even have an ounce of alcohol this time, maybe if you did you would of enjoyed yourself more. But you were proud you didn’t, Youngjin would of probably of taken an advantage of you and you would of let him.

Honestly you wished you could of met someone like your friends, you’ve been single for a long time and worse, sexually frustrated. Seeing your college friends in relationships were quiet envious. As you can tell though you have a lot to learn, you are too awkward with attractive men. Tae for example, he probably thinks you’re weird.

-

When you pulled up to the house, you noticed your parents weren’t home yet, as expected. You entered and you saw your brother sleeping in the recliner and your sister cuddled up next to Tae, trying to stay awake.

Tae looked at you surprised that you were home sooner then he thought.

“Hey.” He greeted. “How was whatever?”

“Sucked.” You slouched on the love seat.

“Date?” You were surprised at his annology.

“Party.” You looked down. “And my friends ditched me again so I wasn’t having fun.”

“That’s because they suck.” Dara, your little sister yawned.

“I think it’s time you go to bed.” You got up as you guided your sleepy brother up to his bedroom.

When you left his room, you saw Tae carrying Dara on his shoulder, gently putting her to bed.

“Thank you…you can go home if you want.” You suggested.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” He kindly offered.

“Yeah.” You blushed.

You followed him downstairs to the living room.

“I’ll make some popcorn.” You left and went to the kitchen.

You sighed, still thinking about the party. What’s wrong with you?

“Do you want to talk about it?” You heard Tae sweetly ask as you turned around.

“It’s nothing really, I just wish I could meet the standards that my friends have….I’m always a buzz kill.”

“What do you mean?” He questioned getting closer.

“My friends are so pretty and so good at talking to attractive guys….I mean thats why I can’t even talk to you.” You rambled as you turned around to the ding of the microwave. Then it hit you of what you just said.

When you turned around embarrassingly, he was leaning on the counter next to you.

“You have trouble talking to guys?” He questioned. You just nodded. “You’re talking to me right now.” He smiled.

“And if you ask me, a lot of guys are probably tongue tied talking to you.” He blushed. Wait. Did he blush at you?

You froze as he grabbed onto the counter behind you locking you in place.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“N-no.” You tried your best to speak. “Just nervous.”

He looked down shyly. “I felt intimidated as soon as I saw you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…your sister talks about how pretty you are but I had no idea.”

Your breathing got heavier as you felt him lean in closer to you.

“Please hurry.” You whispered.

He arched his eyebrows surprised from your impatience. As soon as he press his lips to yours, he was surprisingly gently.

You kissed back, lacing your fingers through the back of his hair, slightly tugging. He grabbed your waist pulling you in closer so your hips were aligned, making the butterflies in your stomach shiver throughout your body.

You felt Tae deepen the kiss when you felt his tongue moisture your bottom lip trying to have access inside. It didn’t take you long to open your mouth, letting his tongue explore.

He slowly backed away to take a breather as he moved on to your neck. You bit your lips and tilted your head back as the pleasure was causing the dampness between your legs. The things you felt his tongue could do, you never felt more inexperienced in your life. You only had sex once and it was a dumb mistake with Youngjin, who purposely got you drunk. You don’t remember hardly anything from that night, so this was a new feeling to you.

Tae lightly sucking all up and down your neck, leaving marks behind. He reached around kissing you passionately again as he picked you up and placed you on to the counter top.

You both stopped for a second, resting your foreheads against each other. Your breathing was not slowing down from the gently touching, making his way up your shirt.

The adrenaline was revealing a side of you you never seen before. As he was making his way up to your bra, you grabbed a hold of his belt buckle. Your confidence getting the better of you. You undid his belt along with his pants.

“You really want to do this?” He asked concerned. You just nodded desperately.

“What if your parents walk in on us….I think it would be clear I would be fired.” You giggled from how cute he was.

“When it comes to social gathering my parents won’t be back till midnight….trust me.” You said lustfully.

He went back to kissing you, slowly pulling your shirt above your head and on to the floor. You placed your hand once more to his now open pants buckle, gently rubbing the sensitive area. As you started feeling him get harder he grabbed your hand stopping you.

“I wont last much longer if you keep doing that.” He laughed out of breath.

His fingers danced up your thighs making their way under your skirt. You felt his finger hook the edge of your underwear pulling them down.

You could feel your heart beating out of your chest, but you loved every second of it.

You saw Taehyung looked down disappointed. “I don’t have…..-protection.”

You laughed from the worry on his face. “What….I wasn’t planning on coming here, thinkin-” You kissed him to stop his ramble.

“It’s fine….I’m on birth control.” You pulled down the rest of your underwear and tossed them to the floor. He leaned into you closer, quickly pulling his pants down only enough to be exposed.

He leaned his forehead to yours for a second like he was thinking. Your breathing quickened when you felt his member brush your folds.

“You sure-” He asked once more.

“Yes Tae.”

Then he pushed into you, following your request. You quietly squealed from the surprise of his size. You stiffened until your body could adjust. “You okay?” He asked sweetly.

You nodded wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him in even closer. He started kissing your neck once again as he started thrusting inside of you deeper. You couldn’t help but moan loudly as he quicken his movements.

He suddenly stop putting his hand over your mouth. “Let’s try not to wake your siblings okay.” He laughed.

“Sorry.” You pouted.

He rocked his hips as he leaned into you, kissing your neck diligently. He quickened his speed harder hitting your g spot. You felt a rush as the pleasure was setting in. The only sound was your heavy breathing and the light tapping from underneath you. You felt your walls clench as you heard his low grunts, the way he was turning you on you were going to let go any second.

“Tae.” You cried.

“Fuck….I’m-” You couldn’t get your words out. You were a moaning mess as you felt sensitive from your orgasm flooding through. You were trying to refrain yourself as best as you could, but the ecstasy was throwing you off. The new feeling made you numb.

“Shhhh.” He smirked.

You could tell he was close from his movements being sloppy. You embraced him with another tender kiss to ease his pleasure. You felt your body go weak as soon as his juices shot through your body warming you up, the whole experience made you feel drowsy. 

You guys were breathing heavy as you stopped to process what just happened. You bit your lip as you looked up at him nervously. “Do you want to go watch that movie now?” You suggested.

He looked at you amused and laughed. “Sure.”

You watched him back away from you and buckle his pants. You couldn’t help but blush, the way he looked at you was so sexy. You developed feelings for him in such a short time.

You were about to hop off the counter when he grabbed your hips helping you down. “Wow a gentleman.” You teased.

“I’m going to change into something more comfortable.” He nodded. As soon as you turned towards the stairs he grabbed your wrist pulling you to his chest. He grabbed the back of your neck pulling you in a deep passionate kiss.

“Don’t be too long.” He bit his lip and made his way to the living room.

-

You and Taehyung were cuddled up on the couch with a blanket drenched over you. He would steal kisses from you here and there. He was sweet and adorable and the butterflies in your stomach were never ending. You were hoping that this wasn’t a one time thing. He made you feel….happy.

-

Your parents came home at the time expected, 1 o'clock.

Your mother came into the living room surprised to see that you and Taehyung were sleeping on the couch, cuddled side by side.

“Minho, come look at this.”

Your father just arched an eyebrow.

“They look so cute.” Your mother said.

“Should we wake them?” Your father asked.

“No let them sleep.”

-

Masterlist | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

i found my love upon the southern ground

Pairing: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Summary: A one-shot of Bellarke in post-WWII Ireland, inspired by Ed Sheeran’s Nancy Mulligan { wc: 1.6k || rating: teen+ }
 a/n: Special shoutout to @apanoplyofsong, @reblogginhood, @kane-and-griffin for their wonderful input about patron saints <3


Clarke felt her heart pounding in her chest as she eased the front door of her childhood home closed. The night was a quiet one, as were most in the no-name town thirty miles outside of Belfast. It was a bit eerie to see the street–the one where she had played hopscotch, and ridden her bicycle with the pink basket, and walked home from school with her friends–so deserted, so empty. She thought of the dresser below her bedroom window upstairs, now also empty of her belongings, just like her bed was of her. A shiver began to steal up her back, but she bit her lip as she fought against it.

Cold mist coated the back of her neck as she slid her key out of the lock and into the pocket of her plaid skirt. The leather case with her most precious possessions weighed her down almost as much as her worry, and its handle nearly slipped from her grip as she snuck down the front steps onto the street. Her stomach was in knots, and not even the warm gold glow of the lone streetlamp on the corner could soothe her.

When she spotted the car headlights at the end of the road, however, Clarke broke out in a nervous smile. Her first steps in that direction were quiet, as if she expected her parents to hear her all the way from their dark and silent bedroom. Soon, though, she stopped caring if the click of her saddle shoes against the cracked pavement was too loud. It was with a run that she took the last few steps to the dust-covered black car with the dinged bumper.

Strong arms caught her up as she approached the driver’s side, and Bellamy spun her around. “You’re here,” he murmured as he pulled in her into him tightly.

“Of course I’m here,” Clarke whispered into the familiar linen shirt that was patched in far too many places. When she pulled back, she looked up into dark, bright eyes that were far too apprehensive. “I told you I was ready.”

He quirked a half-smile at her as he brushed some loose curls behind her ear. “Shame on me for doubting,” he said dryly.

And though she did know from his tone–Clarke felt she had memorized everything about him over the past few months, because that’s what thinking about someone all the time got you–that he was teasing, she didn’t laugh. Instead, she cupped his face with her free hand and said, “I’ve never doubted anything less in my life, Bellamy Blake.”

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anonymous asked:

17. Jungkook, fuckboy au

thank you for requesting! i hope you like it!

17. “I want you to keep it.” 

WORD COUNT: 1,346

Originally posted by foreveryoongz

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NEVER ask a taylor swift fan what their favorite song is unless you want to see them have a mental breakdown in front of you as they try to explain to you that they simply cannot choose one song

Park Chanyeol//The Rhythm of Hate - Part 1

Originally posted by softadulthood

Summary: You hate each other, even though you’re soulmates. You try and stay away from each other, but a shared course and a project is determined to keep you two facing off. (Part 1/Part 2)
Scenario: Soulmate!AU, college!AU
Word Count: 5,924

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anonymous asked:

your story was so funny omg. do you have any more?

  • So i lived the town over from my high school, and had to catch the bus like an hour and a half every day to and from
  • (a movie. thats a fucking movie, every day, twice a day)
  • (I WAS TWELVE)
  • (commuter tragedy)
  • and because we were all stuck together for so long for like six years, we followed the natural inclination of teenagers to be fucking idiots at every chance
  • and we formed this group of bus kids
  • forged by ridiculous travel times
  • bonded in suffering the ridiculous rule of
  • our bus driver.
  • our bus driver was an old, old lady called jeannine
  • (nickname: the grinch, due to the time we were singing christmas carols and she got annoyed and declared that christmas was canceled.)
  • (CANCELED.)
  • (we put up a sign written in texta that said ‘NO CHRISTMAS - SIGNED, THE GRINCH’)
  • (she did not find it funny)
  • jeannine had been driving the bus since time immemorial
  • (and may have of, in fact, been one of the Old Ones)
  • (never confirmed)
  • (but i have my suspicions)
  • Jeannie ran a tight ship.
  • the tightest ship
  • jeannine was the generalissimo of bus drivers
  • she played this talkback radio station over the speaker system
  • and when we were being too loud or she was jut annoyed with us she would turn it up to deafening levels
  • and we would all block our ears, and then having gotten our attention she would turn it down and shout at us
  • when we were REALLY TERRIBLE
  • (like those two weeks after high school musical premiered and we used to have breaking free singalongs)
  • (yeah)
  • (I would have turned the radio up on our asses too)
  • she would park next to the city graveyard
  • (always the graveyard?)
  • (i dont know why)
  • (mental conditioning?)
  • (subliminal messgakng?)
  • and walk/hobble
  • (she was pretty stooped over)
  • (basically she was your standard old crone)
  • (potentially witch)
  • up and down the aisle tellin us how terrible we were
  • so anyway, one year jeannine goes on a two week break for surgery
  • (what surgery? We never found out. Various sources claim knee, hip or shoulder replacement)
  • (could have been a stay at a lazarus pit)
  • (stay woke)
  • and we get a replacement driver.
  • we called him nickelback because he played a nickelback cd over the speaker,
  • on repeat
  • every bus trip
  • EVERY.
  • TRIP.
  • how the hell’d we wind up like this?
  • so free from the reign of terror that was jeannine, we get a bit wild.
  • and by ‘wild’ i mean we:
  • talk above speaking level,
  • eat our food in the ooen,
  • someone busts out a guitar anyway here’s wonderwall
  • its one of these days,
  • that the Great Apple Fiasco happens.

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12.16 coda

AAAAAND we’re back, lovelies! As usual, if you’d like to be added to my master taglist, shoot me a message and I’ll stick you onto the next one!

It feels wrong for some reason not telling Castiel that Claire shows up on their case in Wisconsin, but he’s been swallowing that bullshit about “giving people space” for months now and he’s trying to do right by her at least. Let her make her own choices. Besides, it’s kind of nice having her tag along. She’s a pretty cool kid.

He should have called the minute he figured out what Mick was up to. He knows he should have. But it all happens so fast with the bite and the cure and he’s too busy blaming everyone in that room for what’s happening to his - to Claire. His hand, his hand shoved that poisonous needle into Claire’s skin, he as good as killed her himself. “I need some air.” He yanks on the doorknob like he wants to rip Mick’s head off his body and and steps out into the cold night air.

For a minute all he can do is stand on the threshold, chest heaving. He’s frozen to the front step, a terrible ringing in his ears.

And then he hears another high-pitched, agonized scream. It scares him into moving.

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anonymous asked:

i feel like if everyone saw the destiel subtext there wouldn't be half as many fans like us lol. i think part of the intrigue is the need to analyze and meta the crap out of their love story. that being said, i still wish a higher percentage of fans were on board.

Don’t worry about it, they will be soon ;) 

I think season 13 will be such a pie to the face that Dabb will be like:

Originally posted by piesandgungeguys

And the GA will be like:

Originally posted by natforprez

Originally posted by somethingwhosnottaken

Originally posted by vernybvitday

Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Sebastian Stan x Reader) Pt. 6

A/N: yaaay! chap 6 is finally here and the big moment finally happens you guys! *throws table* i always felt like seb would do some spontaneous stuff like this in this situation! I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! - Delilah

Warnings: None. 

Originally posted by vibraniumdoll


Sebastian: What are you wearing? ;)

You snickered at your phone as you walked through the large building. Since the grand discovery a couple weeks ago, you both have been completely honest with each other. No lies, no secrets, just the absolute truth.

You learned quite a bit about Sebastian; you both were similar in so many ways. You both were devoted pizza lovers. This conversation ended with Sebastian sending you a pizza all the way from Melbourne (where he was filming at the time) and made sure you got you and his’ favorite topping: pineapple and pepperoni. He made sure to tell the pizzeria to place the toppings in a heart shape, which you found absolutely adorable.

 Sebastian was also highly obsessed with Sharon Stone, which led to you sending him a body pillow with her body printed on it. He practically imploded when he un-boxed it the day he got it. You made sure he sent you pictures of it for your lock screen.

 Also, you found that Sebastian and you loved Star Wars with a burning passion. This led to a giant craze where you both sent each other merchandise of your favorite characters. Your favorite character was Leia Organa -she took absolutely no shit from anyone and was the most important female protagonist in a film full of males. Sebastian loved Finn -he was an unlikely man who was able to save lives despite his harsh upbringing. He also had a huge man crush on him. You both may or may not have spent your free time reading the scripts together for fun. 

You were currently leaving your latest internship job. You were tired, but still grateful for the opportunities you were given. You knew to never give up, no matter what life threw at you. You texted Sebastian back a snarky little reply. 

Me:  khakis and crocs. :)

Sebastian: ugh, i love it. are you wearing a fanny pack, too? that’s such a turn on. 

You giggled as you typed out your reply. He was such a little dork and you loved it. 

Me: oh yeah. my hair’s in those little leia buns as well. i’m a hot mess. 

Sebastian: i think you look lovely. that jacket brings your eye color. :)

You froze.

What?

You furrowed your eyebrows, your eyes narrowing in suspicion as you peered around the crowd of people around you. There was no way he could see you from your phone, so what was he on about? 

Me: how did you know i was wearing a jacket? are you having someone follow me around?  >:|

He didn’t reply right away, in fact, your phone stayed silent. You knew Sebastian wouldn’t have someone spy on you, that was a ridiculous thought and all, but you couldn’t help the nagging feeling in your tummy that someone’s eyes were on you. 

You picked up your pace, eyeing every single person that walked by you with suspicion. You were almost to the entrance when your phone buzzed again, the notification chime blared loudly from the speakers. 

Sebastian: and that skirt! man, your legs are amazing!

Now you were getting a bit annoyed. How on earth did he know you were wearing a skirt? That was impossible, as he’s on the other side of the earth at the moment. 

Me: haha. very funny, seb. tell your buddy to stop following me or i’ll use my pepper spray. 

You were instantly reminded of your car, which was waiting for you in front of the building. You had put enough money in the meter for an hour and you really needed to get going. 

You power walked outside of the building, hugging your purse to your body. Your eyes were on everyone and everything that was in your sight. You were highly paranoid person all together and Sebastian being a little shit wasn’t helping at all. 

You’d get him back for this! 

You spotted your car, just a few steps away. You let out a sigh of relief as you got closer and closer to your vehicle. You’d give him a call shortly after you got settled in and demand answers. How did he figure out your outfit? Maybe he was just a lucky guesser?

As soon as you made it within a foot of your car, you immediately stopped in your tracks. Your purse you had clutched in your arms, slid from your shoulder fell to the ground with a thud. 

“Hey, kiddo,” The man spoke with a sheepish smile. One you had only seen from a computer or phone, never in person until now. He held up a bouquet of roses, along with a pizza box in his other hand. 

You covered your mouth with your hand as you stared at a very lively Sebastian, leaning against the side of your car. 

“I guess I’ve got some explaining to do, huh?” 


-Fin! 

Tag list of super awesome people! 

@sebbylover24 @softwintersoldier @ballerinafairyprincess @harrisbn @gingerbatchwife @abigailredgrave @adrianabribiescacortes @sheriwallace123 @the-lazy-leprechaun @theunknownangel62 @abovethesmokestacks @diana-daydreamer @amrita31199 @jezzula @loricameback @sebbyismyking @jamesbarnesblog @claryfray1698 @twinklingstarlight @netflixa @tatortot2701 @winterboobaer @ihavetwobuckystomyname @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @melconnor2007 @kaitskennedyy @kaykayvoltage53 @livforthegames @dracu-ma-bucky @shieldagentofthemonth @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @buckybarnesbestbabe @witheringblooddemon @lostinspace33 @jenna-luke @bellaballanda @confuzzled-panda@astralbarnes @38leticia @davinaciaire @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @marveloussssworld @christynjay @mizzzpink @nottheopera @beebossinner @meganlane84 @adrianabribiescacortes @chou-maitresse @permanent-lines @the-winter-avengerrrrr @dontsassmecastiel @jeylockley @i-am-amora-the-enchantress @addictivewriter @sebbeanstan @gerardwayisapotato

About Miriam

So it’s probably a bit weird that on Mother’s Day I’m making a post about Miriam Pataki, Helga’s alcoholic depressed mom from Hey Arnold. At first glance, she does seem like a pretty neglectful caregiver. As a kid, I felt awful for Helga having to put up with someone too sad to love her.

But I’ve been doing a rewatch of the show and I’m realizing how brilliant Miriam’s character is as representation of a depressed parent.

Imagine you’re a kid growing up with Hey Arnold. You’re used to seeing families being able to connect to each other in cartoons; sometimes they bicker (Gerald’s), or are eccentric (Arnold’s), but they’re always close and actively shown to be interested in their kids. 

So when you see Miriam and Helga, you’re surprised that you’re seeing your own reality being mirrored back. You watch Miriam dozing over a “smoothie” and think hey, my mom also sleeps and drinks all the time! Or, hey, my dad never drives me anywehere too because of his DUIs, or yeah, my grandpma is super apathetic about everything I do and obviously favours my older/younger sibling.

What’s even more remarkable about Miriam and Helga is that occasionally, the real Miriam comes out. The Miriam who rides bulls and wins second-place in karaoke contests, who can run an entire beeper empire better than her husband and was an Olympic-tier swimmer before dropping out of college. When she’s feeling something other than numb, she accomplished things. She drove Helga to school and helped her with homework. She gave grand speeches about standing up to bullies, quoting Helen Reddy. Even in the haze of depression and alcoholism, Miriam shows concern for Helga – looking for her when she disappears on Thanksgiving, hiring a nanny, and making family dinners. For Christmas, she stands in line for eighteen hours to get Helga special boots. On the surface, it’s easy to dismiss Miriam as a neglectful parent, but the nuances of her love for Helga are there. She tries, which is a lot more that a lot of parents do who don’t struggle with mental health or addiction.

She’s not the best mom and it’s not the ideal mother-daughter relationship, where Helga calls Miriam by her first name and expects nothing for lunch most days. But Miriam Pataki’s flaws made her motherhood more multi-dimensional and depicted a side of parenting a lot of kids would have found more realistic. It showed that even though a parent is depressed or inattentive, it doesn’t mean they don’t love their kids or that their kids don’t love them back. 

Anonymous said: May I request a Jeff imagine where he’s been asking you out for a while now and you always turn him down? So one day you hear him talking to Clay and Tony about how it’s actually starting to hurt him a bit and he thinks something’s wrong with him because of constant rejection by the one girl he likes. The other jocks keep teasing him about Y/N’s rejection which upsets him, but you shock all of them by going up and kissing him which leads to a hot makeout session and ask him on a date.

Originally posted by cutie---kisses

JEFF X READER

You’re sitting in the bleachers, letting Sheri show you the newest cheer routine that she wanted to teach her girls. While you aren’t the cheer type, you don’t mind letting your best friend bounce any and all ideas off of you.

“Woo!” You obnoxiously shout as Sheri ends the routine in a split. “Now show me some spirit fingers and the routine will be perfect!”

Sheri laughs, shaking her head in amusement as she slowly stands to her feet. You feel the bleachers shaking because someone’s  either running on them or just acting a fool, and you turn your head just in time to see Jeff slide in next to you and wrap an arm around your shoulders.

“Smooth, Atkins. Very smooth,” you laugh.

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