I think people forget that Vegeta likes training and fighting almost as much, if not the same, as Goku. Here’s the difference: Vegeta cares about Bulma more than that thing he loves. He prioritizes her. He may not say it and may even look like he doesn’t give a crap but his actions express it perfectly.
I Hope I Wish I Want I Pray TO Eat Some Fresh Greens Every Day I Want My Belly Thick And Swole So Thick And Swole That I Could Roll Across The Ground Like A Ball And Down A Cliff And Fall And Fall Right Into A Slimy Sludge And Wallow In My Paunch And Pudge Among The Dirt Among The Filth I Want To Feel The Muddy Tilth Look At My Fingers Dripping, Drenched, My Needs My Wants My Wishes Pinched My Thirst For Dirt (Wet Dirt) Drenched I Want To Pull Up Loam And Clay And Eat Some Fuck Greens Every Day!!!!!!
DIY witch’s herbal remedy medicine cabinet must haves
Whether you’re a witch thats into their herbs or a person who prefers CHEAP and natural remedies, this DIY is for you
Here’s what this post will teach you to make: Echinacea tincture Plantain – Apple Cider Vinegar Tincture for acne Healing salve Chest rub Arnica salve Digestive Tea Throat lozenges Air purifying spray
OK LETS GET STARTED
You will need:
-Dried Echinacea -Glycerin -large canning jar
Pour glycerin over echinacea until it almost reaches the top of the jar. Place lids on these jars and leave for 3 weeks, shaking jar occasionally. After three weeks have past, strain out the herbs. You now have tinctures!
2. PLANTAIN-ACV ACNE TREATMENT
You will need:
Dried Plantain Apple cider vinegar
Pour apple cider vinegar over plantain. Close with lid and leave for 4-6 weeks. Strain out the herbs. Use to this tincture on acne on the face or back of arms. If too strong, dilute with a little distilled water.
3. HEALING SALVE
What you will need:
½ cup Olive oil 1/3 cup dried plantain ½ ounce beeswax a container that can hold ½ cup of salve (or multiple containers)
-Turn on the oven to 300 degrees. While it warms up, place the jar with plantain/oil into a loaf pan or casserole dish. Add water to the bottom of the pan so it comes up the sides of the jars (about an inch or so).
-Once oven is preheated, place this dish with the jars and water in it, into the oven. Turn OFF the oven. Leave for 3 hours.
-After the three hours for the oil is up, take pan out of the oven and let cool briefly. Strain out the arnica and plantain. In double boiler, place the plantain infused oil. Add ½ ounce of beeswax. Warm over low heat until the beeswax melts. Once the beeswax is completely melted, turn off heat. Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly, then pour into clean a clean jar (or jars).
-Allow to cool completely before adding the lid. Salve will keep for up to a year.
4. CHEST RUB
You will need:
½ cup olive oil ¼ ounce dried plantain leaves or dried mullein (optional) ¼ ounce beeswax 1/8 teaspoon vitamin E oil 15 drops eucalyptus essential oil 6 drops rosemary essential oil 6 drops peppermint essential oil 4 ounce jar (needs to hold ½ cup)
-On the stove top place a small pan with a heavy bottom. Add 1/3 cup of plantain and ½ cup oil. Warm over the lowest heat possible. Only needs to warm for about 20 minutes. So set a timer and keep on eye on this!
-Pour the cooled plantain/oil mixture through a cheesecloth and strain out the herbs.
-Place this infused oil back into the pan along with the ¼ ounce of beeswax. Melt over very low heat. Cool slightly and add the essential oils and vitamin E. Stir to distribute evenly.Pour into a clean jar and allow to cool.
-Once completely cool, add the lid and label. This homemade chest rub can be kept for one year at room temperature
5. ARNICA SALVE (soothes bruises, aches, and pains)
What you need:
dried Arnica, .1 ounces 4 ½ ounces grapeseed or olive oil ½ ounce beeswax canning jar optional: peppermint essential oil
Pour oil over arnica flowers in a jar. Turn on the oven to 300 degrees. While it warms up, place the jars with arnica flowers/oil into a loaf pan or casserole dish. Add water to the bottom of the pan so it comes up the sides of the jars (about an inch or so).
Once oven is preheated, place this dish with the jars and water in it, into the oven. Turn OFF the oven. Leave for 3 hours.
Place arnica infused oil in top of double boiler, add ½ ounce beeswax (this will make a slave consistency. If you want this to be more like a balm, add extra beeswax – this will make it thicker and firmer). Warm over medium heat until beeswax is melted. Remove from heat, add 10 drops peppermint essential oil, if desired. Pour into jar and allow to cool completely before closing with lid. Note: Arnica salve should be not be used on skin that is broken, or on open wounds. It is intended for use on bruises, bumps, sprains, and aches.
6. Digestive Tea
What you need:
3 ounces dried spearmint leaves 10.5 grams dried licorice root (not ground, but in small chunks) jar to store tea
Add digestive tea ingredients (licorice root and spearmint) to a jar. Label and store. (May wish to add to label that 1 tablespoon per cup should be used when brewing the tea.)
7. Throat Lozenges
What you need:
¼-½ cup honey 1 T ground licorice root ¼ cup slippery elm
Place slippery elm into a bowl and add a few tablespoons of the honey. Stir to combine and add more honey until the consistency resembles playdoh. (During this time, the plantain/oil mixture on the stove top should be ready to turn off. Remove from heat and allow to cool). Use approximately 1/8 inch of the ‘playdoh’ mixture to roll a small ball to create a lozenge. Roll this ball in ground licorice root and place lozenge on parchment paper. Repeat until all of the mixture is used. Let air dry to harden.
8. Air Purifying Spray
What you need:
Sweet Orange essential oil, 12 drops Lemon Essential oil, 12 drops Clove bud essential oil, 10 drops ½ ounce vodka ½ ounce distilled water spray bottle that will hold 1 ounce
Mix 1 ½ ounce vodka and 1 ½ ounce distilled water in a measuring cup with a spout. Add 10 drops clove bud essential oil and 12 drops sweet orange essential oil and 12 drops lemon essential oil. Use to purify the air and to clean door knobs, counter tops, anywhere germs may hide.
That is it for your herbal remedy cabinet must haves!
what she means: in the year 2016, the chicago cubs, after a 108 year long drought, won the world series in one of the greatest game sevens in the history of the united states. after being down 3 games to 1, the chicago cubs came back to win game five, and then game six with a whopping 9 runs to 3, thanks in part to a historic grand slam by addison russel in the top of the third. finally reaching the tie-breaking, nail-biting, long-awaited game seven, the cubs took an early lead with a home run from dexter fowler on the fourth pitch of the game. not only was this the first ever leadoff home run in the 7th game of a world series, but dexter fowler was also the first black cubs player to play in a world series. during the majority of the game, the cubs maintained a solid lead until the eighth inning, when, much to the dismay of cubs fans all over the world, indians’ rajai davis hit a tying two run home run against aroldis chapman. suspecting the dreaded curse had returned, many cubs fans at this time were at a loss for words, preparing themselves for the all too familiar feeling of crushing defeat. however, a seventeen minute rain delay, perhaps heralded by The Baseball Gods themselves, gave the cubs a chance to regroup and take the lead in the 10th inning after an MVP winning double by ben zobrist and another single thanks to miguel montero. finally, in the bottom of the 10th, kris bryant, arguably the most handsome baseball player, made the last out, expertly fielding a ground ball to third-base and throwing true (even after slipping a little) to his boyfriend, anthony rizzo. the cubs beat the indians 8 to 7. previously, only five teams had ever won the world series after being down 3 games to 1 in the history of baseball (the first world series being in 1903), and the chicago cubs are now the 6th.
I have been through your entire blog and it is amazing! Though I saw a post a while ago about humans being the only ones to laugh and that got me thinking. We as humans can have serious laughing fits at sometimes the smallest of things. Where you start laughing so hard that your face changes colors and all you can do is crumble the the ground in a ball shaking in silent laughter because you just can't breath yet can't stop laughing. I wonder how aliens would react tho that kind of situation.
Anonymous said: Hey, can I get a boyfriend/hubby junkook drabble with 36) “I won’t let you get hurt.” and 38) “You’re cute when you’re worried, you know that?” - fluff pls :)
I’m sorry it took me a while, but here it is! Ah, I had writers’ block (again T^T) trying to write this, I don’t think I’m great at romantic/very fluffy writing, but I hope it came out okay! ^_^
Genre: Fluff | Tiny pinch of angst | Idol!Reader
Word count: 711 (A little short, I’m sorry guys T^T)
Warnings: None ^_^
#36: “I won’t let you get hurt.”
#38: “You’re cute when you’re worried, you know that?”
It had only been a few weeks since you and Jungkook had come forward, and finally told the truth about your relationship. The relationship you had kept hidden in the dark for so long, rumours beginning to surface and circulate. After almost a year of hidden side glances across the room, acting as if you didn’t know each other on a personal level. Polite clapping and small smiles when what you both really wanted was to throw your arms around each other, and engulf the other in a huge bear hug. And so, when the company had finally suggested you come out about it; hands intertwined under the table as you spoke with the CEO, you felt ready. Ready to finally be able to act natural around Jungkook, ready to be accepted.
At first, the reception was fairly positive, the fans cooing over the two of you, finding your relationship adorable. And yet, as time went on, the comments turned sour, dripping with jealousy and pure hatred, becoming more and more vicious. Hate was aimed towards you, on several different platforms, anywhere where the two of you could be seen together. It took a toll on you, as you became more and more distant from Jungkook, especially in public areas where anyone could see you, and the hate could be reignited. Jungkook saw much of the hate, and it worried him, and saddened him to see how your smiling face would fall once you came across yet another hateful comment, his heart clenching. He was still innocent, still new to this, and so he didn’t understand how people could be so… mean.
“Ew, she’s so annoying…” “So ugly…” “She doesn’t deserve him…” “Why is he even dating her, he could do so much better than a trash like her…”
You sighed, as you carelessly threw your phone across the bench, your social media tarnished with the influx of hatred once again.
“These people are so full of…” You mumbled to yourself, rubbing your forehead in frustration. Jungkook stood across the practice room, having just walked in to see you huddled up on the bench, your phone discarded as you looked down at the ground, fists balled up.
“(Y/N)?” He called out, his tone soft with worry. He was still rather young himself, and so this idol dating world was still new to him. To see the “fans” act this way towards his girlfriend whom he very much cared about, his relationship that he cherished, it frustrated him. It saddened him that you wouldn’t smile as much anymore, that you didn’t want to do as much anymore.
“What’s up?” He crouched next to you, gazing up at you with concern. “Didn’t we agree you’d stay off social media for now?”
“Kookie,” you sighed, finally raising your head to meet his gaze. “Do you really think that would help?”
“Well, the CEO finally decided to take action against this, and he’s planning to file lawsuits against the people who are doing this. He wanted me to be the one to tell you. Isn’t that great, (Y/N)?”
You simply stared at him in surprise, as you wondered if this meant the situation would improve.
“Do you think that would work? Truly?” You questioned, hope coming through in your tone. You wanted nothing but for the endless hatred to stop, so you could finally revert to your usual manner, and so you could finally act normally around Jungkook.
“(Y/N), as much as it might seem like it right now, not everyone hates you. I know there are many fans who love you, and are actually supportive of us.” He grinned, his smile resembling a bunny, causing you to break out into a smile also. “I won’t let you get hurt.” His eyes held so much worry for you, so much concern, it was endearing.
“You’re cute when you’re worried, you know that?” You finally giggled, pecking Jungkook on the cheek and causing a light pink to dust his cheeks. Even after all this time, he still got ever so flustered at your random shows of affection.
“Not as cute as you though,” he winked, laughing as he pulled you up by the hand, and you both walked out, fingers intertwined once again.
Could you do an Ethan (Crank) where the reader and him go one a mini gold date and end up angry and screaming at there shit golf skills like in the Golf With Friends game and its hella cute because Ethan is like on the ground yelling at the ball to listen to the reader. Thanks!
Word Count: 946
“I’m really glad that you came today.”
“Yeah, me too! It’s been so long since I’ve played mini golf.” Ethan had just payed the man at the front and he turned to look at Y/N and saw the excited grin on their face. A smile played on his own lips and he didn’t notice that he was staring until they arrived at the first hole and Y/N shook his arm.
“Ethan? You ok?”
A small blush crept up his cheeks. “Yeah, I’m great! I’m in my natural habitat.”
They raised their eyebrow but smiled nonetheless. “Natural habitat?”
“Yeah, I’m the best golfer alive, this is my domain!”
They didn’t say anything else, but the smile on their face turned into a sly grin as they motioned to the golf ball. “Alright then, Mr. Domain, work your magic.”
He hesitated a little before grabbing the golf club and walking towards the ball. “Don’t mind if I do!” He swung the club around a little until Y/N cleared their throat, causing heat to crawl up his neck. After stalling for almost a minute, he finally lined up the ball and swung the club back, only to completely miss the ball when he swung back.
“That was fantastic! You’ll have to teach me that move sometime!” Sarcasm was dripping from every word they spoke as they slowly clapped their hands.
“Oh please, I’m just warming up.”
After another ten tries, however, Ethan had only hit the ball once, but by the thirteenth time, he finally hit it into the hole. The whole time he was violently groaning as he tried to stay calm. He didn’t want to look like an even bigger idiot than he already did. Y/N, however, was leaning against a wall with a smug smirk on their face.
“Ok Mr., I’m the Best Golfer Alive, step aside and watch the real champ show you how it’s done.”
*five minutes later*
“YOU FUCKING BITCH. GET IN THE GODDAMN HOLE!”
The golfers around them were giving them dirty looks and on guy yelled over to them, “Hey guys, it’s just a game, calm down.”
Ethan looked up from his spot on the ground, where he had been yelling at the golf ball, his face as red as Y/N’s. “HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?”
Y/N hit the ball again and it passed right by the hole, just barely missing it. “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. I TOLD YOU TO GO IN THE HOLE.”
“LISTEN TO Y/N, YOU BASTARD.”
They tried again and finally, it went in the hole and Y/N screamed out in surprise. They turned to Ethan and wrapped their arms around his neck.
“I FINALLY GOT IT IN!”
“Heh, that’s what she said.”
They gave him a deadpanned expression but it soon broke into a small eruption of giggles. Ethan looks at them and smiles but his smile falters, which Y/N notices.
He hesitated as he fiddled with his thumbs. “It’s just that, I brought you here because I wanted to impress you. I was going to show you how good I was at golfing, which I am, by the way! I don’t know what the hell happened today, but I am great! And then I was going to offer to show you how to get a hole in one, and I was going to do that cheesey thing like in the movies, you know the one?”
“Ethan,” They took a step towards him and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, “I’m having a really great time. I believe that you’re good at golf, you were probably just nervous, I know I was.”
They both grin at each other and continue to the next whole, where Y/N motion Ethan over to them. “Go ahead.”
He raised his eyebrows. “What?”
“Do the thing.” It took him a few more seconds to realize what they were talking about but when he did, he squeaked out a small, ‘oh!’ and rushed over to them. He didn’t automatically put his hands around them, instead he hovered them over their shoulders until they chuckled and pulled his arms around them.
It only takes a few seconds for him to relax and wrap his arms around them tighter and rest his chin on their shoulder. They line the ball up with the hole but before they hit it, Y/N turns their head towards him so that their faces are only a few inches apart. They can feel each other’s breath as they both lean in a little until their lips connect.
When they pull away, they’re both smiling like idiots and Ethan buries his face in their neck. They stay like that for another minute before finally hitting the ball, only for it to go nowhere close to the hole. They don’t say anything but it seems like everyone at the golf course is waiting for one of them to blow up. Still in the same position, they look at each other and nod.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.”
“WHAT THE FUCK.”
“YOU HAD ONE JOB.”
“WE CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND I’M HONESTLY FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW.”
“JUST GET IN THE FUCKING HOLE.”
“THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.”
They’re both yelling so intensely that they don’t notice the employee walking over until he taps on Ethan’s shoulder and tells them that they have to leave. Supposedly they were being “obnoxious,” and “not appropriate for the children,” and evidently “you can’t cuss out the golf balls.” After flipping off the golf balls one more time, they leave the course with their arms wrapped around each other and happy grins on their faces.
“And the teams are out on the field, looking
decided - and pretty scary if you ask me! Jamie “King of Men” Fraser leading Oxford and Tom Christie commanding the
Edinburgh fellows!” The speaker roared, as the stands applauded and cheered, a
jungle of whistles and shouts of incentive. “You can tell the rivalry is strong
in this one - the winning team today will definitely be the front runner
heading to the Championships next month!”
“Jamie looks focused.” Ian commented next to
Claire, clapping as the Oxford team players were announced by the speaker. “And
Christie looks like gloom and doom – I bet he isna up to anything good.”
“I’m sure our team will handle it.” Claire
replied, adjusting her sunglasses – the sun was out that morning, apparently
eager to pay testimony to a much anticipated rugby game. As Jamie’s name was
called and he briefly waved at the crowd, screams and chanting enhanced
tenfold, as if the volume switch had been turned to maximum. “Is that the new
player?” She asked curious, noticing the young man sitting on the bench, his blonde
hair glowing like a marigold in the sunlight.
“Aye.” Ian smiled. “John Grey was the one
drafted – too bad there wasna enough time for him to become better acquainted
with the team. Our current scrum half is rubbish and John seems to be a great
“What a shame!” Claire agreed. Jamie and Tom
approached the centre of the field to shake hands, a duel of crushing grips,
their eyes locking with unspoken promises of a ruthless game.
The Edinburgh team kicked off with brutal
intensity, taking the lead with an early drop goal. Tom Christie was indeed a
good player, Claire had to recognize – he seemed to make the rest of his
colleagues better just by interacting with them, pushing them to their limits –
a lot like Jamie did.
“It seems like Fraser was just warming up!” The
speaker pointed with excitement in his voice. “He is leading the team to a try –
the Edinburgh boys will need to catch a ride with a motorcycle to be able to
get to him!” And soon enough Jamie grounded the ball over the opponent’s goal
line, awakening huge clamours from the cheering crowd.
The next few minutes were hectic, with both teams
achieving scoring points – they were fairly equated, both having some
weaknesses and a couple of extraordinary players. The game became rougher, with
a couple of ugly tackles taking place, the nastier one inflicted by Christie on
Jamie. Claire’s heart tightened when she saw him projected in the air – echoes of
the game with Northumbria and his head injury racing through her mind – but he
promptly got up and raised a thumb to ease the mind of the howling crowd. They
reached the halftime with Edinburgh on the lead, having been awarded a penalty
point after an infringement from Oxford’s scrum half.
“I canna believe we might lose this!” Ian
clenched his teeth, looking thoroughly annoyed. “I canna stand the idea of Tom
Christie prancing about our campus, gloating after their victory!”
“It’s not over yet.” She said in a cheerful
tone, looking as Jamie talked and gesticulated with the coach. He seemed
irritated with something and kept throwing evaluating looks at their scrum half
and then at John Grey. “I think we might be in for a surprise.”
When the halftime was over, the substitution was
made – clearly a joint decision from Jamie and the coach - and John Grey entered
the field for the first time wearing Oxford’s colours, looking pale but
As soon as they made the formation, Grey threw
the ball into it and moved as lightening to the hindmost foot of the scrum, neatly
picking up the ball and passing it - like a guided missile - to the hands of Oxford’s
fly half, the captain himself, Jamie Fraser. With the proceeding game, it
became quite clear that Grey was not only an outstanding player – with a knack
for impossible passes and agile as a gazelle in avoiding Christie’s tackles -,
but also that he and Jamie were meant to play together. They seemed to predict
each other’s moves with easiness and stormed the field like dancers in a
physical duet, battering the Edinburgh team’s lines and inspiring the rest of
Oxford’s players. A short stretch of time was enough for them to recover from
the disadvantage at the score board, sealed with a mind-blowing drop goal that
made the fans go crazy.
Chanting propagated like a tribal calling in
the stands, encouraging both Jamie and John, which by then had already earned
the right of a nom de guerre – John “The Lord” Grey.
referee blew the whistle to signal the end of the game, a joyful wave of blue
crashed on the grass, as Oxford’s players ran and jumped on top of Jamie and
John – the solid foundation of a victorious human pyramid. Claire looked around,
grinning as Ian fist bumped the air – her heart overflowing with pride,
noticing the gigantic smiles all around her. Jamie was hugging an incredulous
John, complimenting him on his achievements – the promise of a legendary
friendship being born on a cloudless day.
“You’re late.” Claire announced, as Jamie
arrived half running, his hair flaming on the light of dusk - as if the sun was
setting inside him.
“I’m sorry, mo
nighean donn.” He kissed her forehead in apology, as she pursued her lips
and began the task of fixing the collar of his shirt. “I went for a run with
John and lost track of time discussing some tactics.”
“That’s alright.” She sighed, bumping his nose.
“Ian called to say he’ll be meeting us there. Is John coming too?”
“Aye.” Jamie caught her hand and entwined their
fingers, as they began to walk together. It was the college’s anniversary – a big
milestone, even for such an ancient institution – and a fancy party was taking
place in the Main Hall, where lots of prominent students and alumnae would be
gathered to celebrate. “He went to his dorm to shower and will meet us there.”
“You quite like him, don’t you?” Claire asked,
caressing the back of his hand with her thumb. “You two became quite close in
this last month – always training together and talking.”
“John is a kind, good-hearted, man.” Jamie
agreed. “Talking to him always seems easy and uncomplicated – a lot like
talking to you, actually.” He smiled, the corner of his mouth twitching. “And
we’re much stronger as a team since he came on board. We might actually have a
chance at the Championships.”
“Should I be jealous?” She elbowed him,
playfully, in a mock pretence of grievance. “You have been spending more time
with him than me, that’s for sure.”
“John Grey might be an interesting lad and a
good friend.” He let go of her hand and held her by the waist, the tip of his
fingers brushing the curve of her buttock, hidden under the emerald green
fabric of her cocktail dress. “But he doesna have an arse like yers, Sassenach.
You will always be number one in my book, especially when ye wear such a nice
dress – A Dhia, I can feel ye underneath
it. Do we really have to go anywhere at all?”
“Always making me feel special.” Claire replied
dramatically, offering him a light peck on the lips – careful not to smudge her
discrete lipstick – and then a possessive squeeze of his own hardened and well-shaped
derrière. “Enough time for me to wear
your shirt later.”
The vast room was already filled with people,
wearing unusually elegant garments – girls with dresses of vivid colours,
forming a spontaneous bouquet against the blooming light of chandeliers and
sparkling glasses – luring men in their suits with promises of hidden secrets.
Jazz music played in the background, setting the rhythm to conversations and
filling the gaps of silence in some awkward exchanges.
Claire and Jamie smiled to a couple of acquaintances
and waved to some colleagues, as they made their way into the heart of the
party. They were standing close together, talking about Claire’s classes, when
a male voice imposed over their conversation.
“Claire?” Frank Randall smiled at her, his
brows furrowing when he glanced at Jamie from the corner of his eye. “It’s good
to see you.”
“Hello, Frank.” She greeted him, turning around.
“It’s nice to see you too.”
“Fraser.” Frank acknowledge Jamie with a small
nod of his head, his thin lips forming a weak attempt at a pleasant smile. “Congratulations
on that fantastic game with Edinburgh last month. Very well played.”
“Thank ye, Professor Randall.” Jamie gave him a
relaxed smile and turned to Claire. “Mo
nighean donn, I think I’ll go and say hello to Ian and John. I’ll see ye in
a bit.” He kissed her cheek and squeezed her fingers in goodbye, offering her strength
– reassuring her of his trust and love – and walked away, towering over the
“I was wondering…” Frank hawked, his fingers
fidgeting with the glass of champagne he was holding. “If we could talk.”
“We are already talking, I daresay.” Claire
pointed, accepting a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, offered by a
passing waiter. “What is it, Frank?”
yes.” He licked his lips, quickly looking around them, scanning for anyone
within earshot. ““It has become my understanding that you and James Fraser are
dating.” He said in a hurry, as if he was running away from his own words. “Is
“I don’t see how that would be any of your business.”
Claire replied in a dry tone, raising a brow. “We haven’t been together in a
long time, Frank. But yes - everybody knows Jamie is my – very serious - boyfriend. It’s not exactly a secret.”
“I see.” He swallowed hard, avoiding her
piercing amber eyes, and glancing at her silver ring. “I thought maybe it was a
fleeting dalliance. I believed you fancied someone more refined – more polished.”
“Is that what you are?” Claire asked gently, anger and resentment completely
absent from her words. “Because I was under the impression things didn’t work
out between us – and not by any fault of mine, Frank. If only you had been
happy sleeping with one student at a time, perhaps we would be together until
“I deserve that.” Frank pinched his nose with
his skinny fingers. “I was terribly foolish to hurt you, Claire. You are, by
far, the most singular woman I ever met.”
“I’m happy you did.” She said softly, looking
intently at him. “I only met Jamie because of it – and everything that led me
to him has my deepest gratitude.”
“I was under the impression you still had some…feelings for me.” He whispered in a
strained voice. “You are always so charming and pleasant every time we meet and
have a conversation.”
“I’m over you, Frank.” Claire affirmed, trying
to infuse some kindness into the situation, but getting increasingly more uncomfortable.
“That’s why I’m nice when we talk. I don’t have any repressed feelings – no secret
expectations of you wanting me back. You were important to me, once – I offer
you the respect that position deserves. Nothing less – nothing more.”
“I have seen how you look at him. The pride and joy in your eyes.”
Frank bit his words. “Did you ever love me?”
“I did.” She whispered, softly. “But not like
that – not how I love him.”
“He knows about us, doesn’t he?” He brushed his
short dark hair. “And yet he left you with me. Maybe he doesn’t care all that
“What we have has no room for mistrust or lies.”
She smiled, distracted, her eyes already searching for Jamie amongst the crowd.
“He left because he respects me. Because he trusts me – us - with all his heart.”
“I wish you happiness, Claire.” Frank finally turned
away, hiding the pain in his eyes.
“Be happy too, Frank.” She tilted her head. “As
Claire searched for Jamie inside the room –
spending quite some time in pushing through the animated crowd and stopping to
exchange pleasantries with teachers from the medical department, some already
quite inebriated. He was nowhere within sight, so Claire decided to search for
When the big oak doors caved under the pressure
of her hands, she was saluted by the night’s cold breeze, the taste of oranges
and jasmine on the back of her throat. It seemed like the party had extended beyond
the premises of the Hall - students were scattered in the lawn in front of the
building, laughing and talking in small groups.
She spotted Jamie – looking magnificent in his
grey suit pants and light blue shirt - talking to John – clad in black and grey
- under the shadows of a cypress. They were tall and beautiful, like legends of
days long forgotten, best friends in times of peace and warriors when the
occasion called for such actions. John was talking rapidly to Jamie, who seemed
to be entirely amused by whatever was being said. Eventually he whispered back
to John and they both laughed together.
Claire could tell the moment Jamie had spotted
her – even at distance his eyes seemed to soften and the corners of his mouth
were pushed on an eager smile. He patted John’s back in farewell and started to
walk towards her.
For an instant she could see John Grey, left
behind as Jamie made his way to her, and a shiver shot through her spine. It
was like looking into a strange mirror - his eyes betrayed exactly the same desire
and adoration that could be found within her own.
Aaaaaallllright, it’s been a while, but the first chapter is finally done!! Many thanks to my translator @melonjaywalk and my editors moidang, Lambency and tjerrian! If you’d like to follow the group’s progress on the novel, check out this Google Doc! Without further ado, here’s Chapter 1: Day of Sigma!
If Kevin had been a young female instead of his six feet, all toned muscle and powerful male Exy grace, Neil would have joined in the Foxes custom and bet twenty bucks that the striker was on his period. The bright orange number two flashed angrily in his direction, as the striker had another face-off pissing contest with Dan –the third during this practice.
“There they go again,” Nicky said in a sing-song voice. Matt was jogging across the court to lend moral support to his girlfriend. Neil guessed the man would have liked to add a different kind of support at this point.
“What’s his fucking problem,” Allison grumbled. Kevin’s ‘fucking problem’ was another surge in his superiority complex. It wasn’t the Foxes day to be honest. All of them were a little less energetic than usual –all but Kevin, who seemed to have made it his purpose in life to rub it in their faces just how far below his standards they were right now.
Okay so I wanted to see if you guys liked Gerard Way from My Chem. I saw a few people requested for me to write something on him and I love My Chem so I got really excited. I hope you guys like it.
There was this girl. This girl that was so beautiful and had so much talent. She loved life and she was so happy all the time.
She trapped me with those big Y/E/C eyes. Her laugh could cure the world of all sadness. Her kind heart could be enough to save the entire world. She’d always been there for me, but was I there for her when she needed me? I liked thinking I was but I wasn’t. At least not this time. She was one of those people that smiled no matter what, always looking for the good in others. She was my best friend and I loved her, but I couldn’t have her. I’ve loved her for the past 2 years, ever since she started dating Bryan.
He was no good for her. I could see she wasn’t happy. He was a total dick to her. He drank all day long while she worked hard to supply money for his addiction. She can say she’s fine, but I could see the bruises on her back. I know he beat her, but I for some reason didn’t have the balls to say anything to her.
We have been best friends for years and I could see the light starting to slowly burn out in her. She had been distancing herself from me lately and I killed me knowing he had control over her. I don’t understand what she saw in him in the first place. I know that it might seem hypocritical of me to be saying all this because I was an alcoholic, but changed when I met her. She was the reason I gave up the awful lifestyle.
“Hey Y/N, it’s been like 4 days since I’ve talked to you. I’m starting to get a little worried. Please call me.”
Of course I got her voicemail. We use to talk to each other everyday. It started off with her just ignoring my calls but she would text me saying she was okay. Now it’s been 4 days with no contact. I’ve texted her, I’ve called her, I’ve even driven past her apartment. I saw her car there each time. I looked like it hadn’t moved. It didn’t concern me too much until today when I drove passed and saw the shades to the apartment all closed. She was the type to always want light to be shining.
This wasn’t like her. Something was really wrong. My predictions were only made more sense when suddenly Bryan came out of the front door yelling something about how slutty she is. I could stand hearing him talk to her like that. I saw her standing in the doorway. She looked so different.
Bryan drove off quickly in his truck and Y/N shut the front door. I had to see her even if she didn’t want to see me.
I parked my car on the street and walked up to the door. When I knocked on the door there was no answer. I rang the doorbell, still no answer. I called for her. Still no answer. I could knew something was happening behind this door that if I didn’t get in now, something worse was about to happen.
I knew she kept a key under the mat. Once I got the door open I called out her name again.
“Y/N. Where are you?” there was no response again. Where the hell was she. As I made my way through her apartment I saw all the empty bottles of beer, some were shattered on the ground. The smell of the apartment could get you drunk. Nothing could prepare me for what I was about to see.
I saw her standing at the kitchen counter staring down at a glass of water and pills.
Her entire body was covered in dark bruises. She was so out of it she didn’t even see that I was there. I didn’t want to scare her but I had to say something before she made a horrible mistake.
“Y/N?” I said softly. It still made her jump.
“Oh hey Gerard.” she said with the fakest voice and smile.
“Y/N, did he do this to you?” I asked gesturing to her bruised body.
She looked down at her arms then back to me. The light was gone. Her eyes were scared. I could see that she didn’t see the point in life any more. She just stood there staring at me.
“Y/N, we have to get you out of here. Please.”
“I can’t. You need to leave before he gets back fr-” she was cut off by the sound of a truck pulling up.
I saw fear wash over her.
“Gerard get the fuck out of here now. It’s for the best. Please.” she begged pushing me out the back door.
“Y/N, I’m not leaving you here. He can beat the living shit out of me. He’s not putting a hand on you.” I pushed my way back into the apartment.
“Y/N WHERE ARE YOU? WHO’S WITH YOU.” Bryan yelled as he came in the front door.
“In the kitchen. Gerard stopped by to ask me a question, he’s leaving now though.” she said back.
“Gerard if you care at all about me you’ll leave. I’ll text you later I promise. Please.” she begged.
“Okay fine, but Y/N please call me.” she nodded and I walked out of the kitchen and headed for the front door. I saw Bryan standing in the living room. He looked drunk and angry. It pained me leaving but I wasn’t leaving for good.
I shut the front door and walked to the back of the apartment where I could peek through a window. I could see Bryan still standing in the living room where Y/N just entered. I saw his fist clench and her tense up.
He was screaming at her and she just took it. I guess after years of it she knew how to not make it worse. When I saw his fist raise I never ran so fast. I pushed through the back door and went straight to the living room where Y/N was on the ground in a ball. Bryan was on the ground in second with me on top of him punching him in the face.
I was so fucking angry.
“DON’T YOU FUCKING EVER LAY A HAND ON Y/N AGAIN OR I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU.” I screamed. I got up when I knew Bryan wouldn’t be able to.
I walked over to Y/N who was now in the corner of the room rocking back and forth.
I kneeled next to her and lifted her chin.
“Hey, hey look at me. You’re okay, this is all going to be okay. COme with me and i’ll make sure of that. Listen we have to go. I’ll bring you to my place. You’re not staying here. Ever again.” I spoke as soft as I could. She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
“Please bring me far away from here. I’m ready to leave.” I knew she wouldn’t be able to walk she was shaking so badly. I scooped her up brought her to my car.
The ride back to my place was silent. She was a totally different person from who she was years ago. She was fragile now, broken, hurt, and scared. I knew I had to be there for her and I knew this was going to take time. Time is what she needed and time was what I was going to give her.
Over the next few weeks she opened up more to me. She told me the horror stories that Bryan put her through. She told me of her sleepless nights, the beatings, the name calling, the abuse. She told me about the time when she came home 15 minutes late due to traffic and he beat her until she could barely breath. She told me how he would take her phone and look at everything she did on there and how he didn’t want her talking to me anymore.
I saw that it hurt for her to talk about it so I never asked questions. I just listened and held her when she needed to be held.
Even with her so different for those many years ago, I still loved her.
It had been 4 months since that day. She had light back in her, she was finally the Y/N I fell in love with. I couldn’t help but stare at her when she had that smile that could save the world.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked giggling as we sat at my kitchen table.
“Y/N can I ask you something?”
I took in a deep breath before talking. “Why? What did you see in him? Why did you stay?” I saw the smile fade as she looked to the floor. I felt bad and before I could apologize she looked at me.
“Have I ever told you my biggest fear?” I shook my head no.
“Ever since I was little I had this fear of being alone. A fear of not being loved. So i threw myself at the first guy. I didn’t want to stay, but I thought that was what love was. I realized that what Bryan was wasn’t love after only a few months, but my fear of being alone kept me there. I don’t want to die alone and it scares the shit out of me everyday knowing I could have lost something that is actual love. The that brings me to my next fear. Telling someone I love them.” she staring at her hands.
I sat there letting everything she just said sink in.
“So, Gerard. Can I ask you a question now?”
“In a minute, but first I want to say something.” she looked at me shocked by my response.
“Y/N, I’ve known you for over ten years now. You made me a better person and you have always been there for me. When you started dating Bryan and we stopped talking so much, you changed. I remember the first time I realized something and it was so hard realizing this thing. Y/N I love you, I love you more than just friends. You saved me and you’ve been there for me. I wanna do the same for you. I understand if you’re not ready to hear any of this. I know you just got out of a really bad relationship but want you to know that I’ll be here waiting for when you are ready, if you feel the same way. But if not, I also understand why…” I started to ramble on but Y//N cut me off.
“Gee, shut up and get over here.” she said standing up. I stood and before I could get to her she was kissing me. I kissed her back and it was just as perfect as I imagined it.
When we pulled apart she had that light back in her eyes, the smile, the happiness,and I couldn’t help but just take in all her beauty.
“Gerard, I love you. You the one I’ve loved since the beginning. I dated Bryan as a distraction. I regret all of it, but I wouldn’t change it if that means we wouldn’t be where we are right now. Gee, I’m not ready for a big relationship right now, but I wanna be with you. I wanna take this slow.”
“I will do anything you want, because that’s what love is. I want to show you what love is Y/N. We can do whatever you want. I’ll give you the fucking world. Out of all people I know, you deserve it the most.” pulled her close and she wrapped her arms around me.
“Thank you Gee. You always know how to make me feel better. I’m sorry for changing so much.”
“Don’t apologize, I don’t want to hear you apologizing for something you couldn’t control. You’re perfect in my eyes and you always were. Nothing will ever change my love for you.”
I meant these words from the bottom of my heart. I knew this would take time for her to heal, but I was going to be there for my best friend, now girlfriend until she felt safe.
She was all he ever wanted, but she was never there long enough, wasn’t always his. No one could have her, the grips of fate were too strong. There had to be a way to change it.
1736-1754: The First Life
1744: Age 8
His eyes stung, the water like pin-pricks to his pupils. He wouldn’t blink, eyes trained on the colorful fish swimming beneath him as he imagined that he too could live under the water, out of the ever-present heat, escape the responsibilities of a family barely living. Air rushed into his lungs the moment his head broke the surface of the water. It was cool, yet it burned his airways. It felt good to breathe, but it hurt, making his sides cramp with the heavy gasps of air and spurts of water leaving his mouth as he coughed. A minute and a half, that’s a new record!
The sun was beating down hard, already beginning to dry his clothes, just not fast enough. The linen sleeves of his shirt were weighed down by the liquid soaking them. The material clung to his skin, hot and wet, sticking to him just the right way so that any movement would pull the shirt with it, chafing his skin just enough to be irritating. The water reached his waist, so he had to put his hands on solid ground and ball his hands in the blades of grass in order to heave his small frame out of the river.
Description: Six months after your divorce, Jongin finds out you’re dating once again. It would’ve been okay with him until his son, Taeoh, chooses spending time with you and your new boyfriend instead of him.
Word count: 1,515
You try not to cry. You try to pull yourself together in front of your lawyers and Jongin. But all of them could see your wide eyes begin to pool with tears. You held the pen in between your shaking fingers and pressed the ballpoint on the paper.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” you whisper soflty, your eyes search for any emotion in Jongin’s eyes. He looks away before you can read his expression.
You sigh and with no more hesitation you scribble your signature all over the packet. A knot the size of a snowball began to form in your throat making it hard to even breathe. You felt Jongin’s gaze on you but you were too resented to look up at him.
“Can I go now?” You ask your lawyer. She looks over the packet and slides it over to you once again.
“There’s still the matter of your child,” Her voice is cautiously low as if you were a fragile girl that would’ve broken into tears if spoken to the wrong way. Perhaps you were. “If you sign here,” she points at the long line. “You agree to let Jongin be with Taeoh for three days out of the week, friday and the weekend.”
“Taeoh,” you whisper your son’s name. Memories of him playing with his father flooded in your head. The late night movie sessions and fort making contest. Taeoh would no longer have any of that. His life would be split.
You cradle your head in your hand, breathing in and out trying steady yourself. When you look back up again you catch Jongin’s eyes once again. By the slight redness on the edges of his eyes you knew that he was thinking about Taeoh too.
“I promised myself that if I ever had a child, he would live a happy healthy life with two parents that loved each other.” your voice cracks. “I didn’t know how hard it would be to keep that promise,” With one last flick of your wrist you signed that paper and legally parted yourself from Jongin. As soon as the door closed behind you, tears ran down your face.
~ Six months later
“Taeoh, baby wake up.” You coo to your drowsy toddler. His eyes flutter open for just a second but they seem to be heavy for him to keep open because they close once again.
Ok these are really bad but gimme a break I wrote one at 12 p.m. and another at 7 a.m.
“Like you two weren’t off making out with each other,” Iwaizumi retorted. At this, miraculously, Matsukawa and Hanamaki turned pink, though only slightly. With a huff, Iwaizumi linked his hands with Oikawa’s (they had come apart sometimes, neither had noticed) and turned around, gently pulling Oikawa through the tunnel and away from the fish, closely followed by Hanaki and Matsukawa as they bickered with Oikawa.
“Oi! Kawa,” Hanamaki shouted from the entrance. Matsukawa sniggered from besides him as Oikawa squawked in protest.
“Don’t just tack my name onto a greeting!” Oikawa whined as Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “Iwa-chan! Don’t just stand there, you have to defend me!” Matsukawa mimicked Oikawa’s high-pitched moaning of “Iwa-chan”, as Hanamaki smirked and Iwaizumi hid a smile behind his hand. Oikawa screeched in outrage in the exact tone Matsukawa had used, and they all burst into laughter.
“C’mon, we’re not gonna be able to get tickets if we just hang out here forever.” At Iwaizumi’s comment, the rest scrambled to get inside the huge marble building. All three of them voted for Oikawa to buy the tickets and/or attempt to get a discount by wooing the clerk, who was a short, shy looking girl. As planned, when Oikawa started flirting with her, a wink here and a half-smile there, she immediately blushed and stuttered, resulting in four tickets for half the price (honestly, they all kind of felt bad for getting in cheap, but a free ticket was a free ticket).
They easily got through the short line and stepped inside, with a cry from Oikawa “To the exhibits!”. Soon after, the four separated into two groups, as Hanamaki and Matsukawa wanted to go see the sharks, earning another remark from Oikawa - “Of course Iwa-chan wants to go with me, Makki!” - and Iwaizumi groaning - “Don’t leave me with just him.” Still, the strawberry-blonde pulled Matsukawa towards the shark exhibit and Oikawa hooked his arm through a grumbling Iwaizumi’s and dragged him off to see “the pretty fish, Iwa-chan! And the coral! Honestly, who would want to see plain old sharks?” “I like sharks, Kusoikawa.”
The two wandered after getting lost (“Dammit Oikawa, you suck at this.” “You’re not much better Iwa-chan! Or else we wouldn’t have gotten lost.” “Shut up.”). For some time, they could hear Matsukawa and Hanamaki yelling at each other about memes and whatnot, probably something they’ve seen on instagram or tumblr. Soon though, their voices faded, leaving only Oikawa’s complaints hanging in the air. It seemed not many people ventured this deep into the aquarium - or maybe it was just early.
“Mattsun and Makki are honestly so uncivilised, yelling in a place like thi- oh,” breathed Oikawa, the chatter having finally stopped. Iwaizumi looked around, noticing they were in a cavern of glass, surrounded by water and fish on every side except for the dark tunnel they came through in. Multicolour fish swam around the glass walls in swarms, passively floating through the calm water. Oikawa’s eyes reflected the bright blue, gold, red, and oranges that shined on the fish scales. In Iwaizumi’s opinion, Oikawa’s eyes were much prettier than the fish, but he didn’t need to know that - he would get a big head if he did. Instinctively, their hands found each other’s, fingers locking in place. After a moment of silence, Oikawa returned to his talkative self, fluffy hair bobbing as he jumped up and down.
“Woah! Isn’t that fish so pretty?” Oikawa gushed, pointing at a bright coloured fish with frilly fins. It was, Iwaizumi thought. Not missing a beat, he quietly murmured, “Yeah, just like you.”
“Haaah?! You can’t just say that, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa’s stage-whisper echoed off the glass and reverberated in the small cave. He buried his flushed face in his hands, falling silent after that outburst. Iwaizumi pried his fingers away from his face, smirking. Oikawa looked up at him (a miracle he didn’t comment on it, Iwaizumi thought as he thankfully noted the slight slouch that allowed him to be just slightly taller), eyes shining and glossy.
“Wait- are you crying?” Iwaizumi asked in astonishment. He had expected something like, “I know I’m pretty, but if only you were half as good-looking, Iwa-chan,” or “That’s so unfair that you always get to compliment me, no, I’m not blushing!” or something along those lines Instead, the eyes that seemed to hold galaxies were filling up with tears as Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi.
“Yes! God Iwa-chan, you’re always so nice, and pretty, and perfect…” Oikawa sniffed. “I just… I don’t know, it’s not fair!” Oikawa mumbled, pouting, but the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. Iwaizumi laughed.
“Tooru, what did I do to deserve you?” Iwaizumi leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on his lips, silencing a shriek that was sure to surface after what he just said. When Iwaizumi leaned back, Oikawa let out a small croak.
“No fair! You can’t just call me by my given name before I do, Ha-Hajime!” Oikawa’s whole face was red, while Iwaizumi’s ears were tinged a slight pink.
“Yeaaaah! Get some, Iwaizumi!” came a delighted shout and a wolf whistle, signalling the other two showing up. Oikawa somehow turned redder, while Iwaizumi, once again, rolled his eyes in exasperation.
Different kisses shared among them:
There were eight; eight kisses shared among them that they all remembered from the countless nights they had laid snuggling, or times they cried in defeat, or another.
When Iwaizumi, for the first time as a six-year old, had fallen from a tree and scraped his forehead, Oikawa had planted a tender kiss there, saying how his sister would do that for him when he got hurt, to help it heal faster.
When Oikawa’s parakeet died, he had cried for days, until Iwaizumi bumped his nose against his own, explaining that it was an Eskimo kiss. They laid in bed that night, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars plastered all over Oikawa’s bedroom wall.
In their first year in Kitagawa, at night in a training camp, Iwaizumi had been dared to kiss Oikawa. Both of them blushing, Iwaizumi had quickly pecked him on the cheek and furiously dared the other to do something - Oikawa didn’t remember, as he had buried his face in his pillow and stayed there until the third years came to tell them to shower.
The first time Hanamaki had kissed Matsukawa was on his ears, which promptly turned as red as they could go. There was endless teasing from Oikawa and Iwaizumi after that.
Oikawa’s knees had given out, and he had fallen to the ground in pain, ball bouncing uselessly on the floor. Iwaizumi, despite the urge to yell about pushing himself too much, had lifted Oikawa up and placed him on the bench, examining the injured knee. He gently placed a kiss there, as tears fell from a one silent Oikawa.
At a third year training camp at Seijoh, Hanamaki and Oikawa had started fooling around, which ended with the third years kissing all of Oikawa’s ticklish spots (a.k.a. His tummy), which also ended with Mizoguchi coming in to lecture them about being responsible and mature.
Iwaizumi had taken Oikawa’s hands, commenting on how they were perfect for setting. Long and lean fingers. Delicate, but strong. They were the ones that set the ball to him, or served with the precision to break down the other team’s receives. He brushed his lips against every knuckle, his calloused palms.
The first time their lips touched, it had been after the match with Karasuno; the final one. The one they lost. On the bus ride home, everyone had been silent, and most asleep after the tiring game. Even Kyoutani had been muted. When they got back, Oikawa had insisted to stay and practice a bit more, and for some reason, the Coach had agreed. The third years had stayed behind, silent except for the grunts and panting as they jumped and jumped. Soon, all four were lying on the ground in defeat. Oikawa leaned towards to Iwaizumi, and suddenly they were kissing, tears mingling between their lips pressed together. Tiredly, Matsukawa and Hanamaki reached over, and they were leaning against each other on the gym floor, hot and sweaty and crying.
Lemme be honest this is the first time I’ve written a Haikyuu!! fanfic that doesn’t have as much angst in it
Also sorry it’s so late, I had a lot of problems with my computer and was super busy. Here’s the art part of this week
A/N: I wasn’t happy with the first draft of this so I decided to completely re-write the ending and make it smutty. Now I think I’m absolutely content with the direction this went in, especially considering that I wanted to make it like this originally. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did/do! xx
Warnings:Dom!Jungkook, Noona!Reader, wall sex, dirty talk, rough sex, swearing, minor (and I mean minor) breathplay.
If someone had told you two days ago that your personal life would be leaked online you would’ve laughed in their face, denying every word. But here you are, your phone blowing up with messages from both your publicist and manager, scolding you for being careless, for putting your feelings before your career. Being an idol for more than three years now, you’re well informed of the whole ‘no dating’ rule – until you met the one guy who changed all of that.
Lemony Snicket's Commentary in 'The New American Haggadah'
On ‘The Four Sons’:
Some scholars believe there are four kinds of parents as well.
The Wise Parent is an utter bore. “Listen closely, because you are younger than I am,” says the Wise Parent, “and I will go on and on about Jewish history, based on some foggy memories of my own religious upbringing, as well as an article in a Jewish journal I have recently skimmed.” The Wise Parent must be faced with a small smile of dim interest.
The Wicked Parent tries to cram the story of our liberation into a set of narrow opinions about the world. “The Lord let us out of Egypt,” the Wicked Parent says, “which is why I support a bloodthirsty foreign policy and I’m tired of certain types of people causing problems.” The Wicked Parent should be told with a firm voice: “With a strong hand God rescued the Jews from bondage, but it was my own clumsy hand that spilled hot soup in your lap.”
The Simple Parent does not grasp the concept of freedom. “There will be no macaroons until you eat all of your brisket,” says the Simple Parent at a dinner honoring the liberation of oppressed peoples. “Also, stop slouching at the table.” In answer to such statements, the Wise Child will roll his eyes in the direction of the ceiling and declare: “Let my people go.”
The Parent Who Is Unable to Inquire has had too much wine and should be excused from the table.
my shift started at 8 am, on a sunday; unsurprisingly, very very few people do their shopping at 8 am on a sunday, and they look as dazed as the supermarket staff
i was fake-rearranging the yogurt shelf and a product i had never seen caught my eye. examining it further it revealed itself to be… balls of ground lard. i power-walked away really fast
9 am: someone at the café ordered a decaf cappuccino. whom are they
i looked at this customer in the face to ask if she needed a bag to carry her groceries. she cooed for no discernible reason, and her husband asked me who picked out my hair colour
had some nice Bants™ with a fellow cashier who is still in high school and apparently thought i was too………….
a guy forgot his wallet at my register in the morning and called the store at 9.30 pm to check if he’d left it there, Timely Chap
theres one old man who buys a can of hair spray every week, and hes very recognizable (he has really good hair), but ive started to believe that there also is a different old man who comes in and purchases a bottle of that stuff you use to unclog drains. i have at least 4 questions
a little girl was happy to let me pet her chihuahua!!!! blessed moment
a german person stuffed their groceries in their homemade cookie monster backpack, i wanted to ask them about it but i didnt want them to think i found it funny. it wasnt. it was art
a woman took time out of her day to not only compliment my hair, but also to tell me about how ‘not everyone would look great with that colour, but it really suits you!!!’. i hope she finds several hundred euros on the ground every week for the rest of her life
i was scanning the items a college student meant to purchase, and i told him that his carton of eggs had a broken one inside (it was leaking… disgust), and he was so happy he managed to dodge that bullet he left with a ‘goodbye, dear! i hope you have a good day at work!’ [rough translation, english lacks a concise way of saying it]…… what a boy
the register wouldnt scan someone’s discount card, i went to the Boss to ask him why was it not working, and when i tried to show how the register was rebelling… it decided to start behaving again. typical & unsurprising, in hindsight, i should just have walked off and let the register believe i was asking for help
a couple was checking out, and the girl was clearly in a good mood. the guy lovingly commented ‘you’re very giggly tonight, do you not know life sucks?’
the person who works in the cold cuts section and who calls me a pixie led a customer to my register because she couldnt find where the glue was, and since it was very difficult to explain & i had nothing to do i led the way [the glue, along with the white-out thing and paperclips, is in the wine isle. dont ask], with the cold cuts person telling the customer how tinkerbell (me) would surely find the exact brand of glue she needed