gross-black-and-white

don’t re–blog please thanks

I feel basically…. like there is definitely a line. not a black and white one, but sort of a gray area of sorts in this. there is definitely a point in fandom at which gay men ships are blatantly sexualized a lot of times (most of the time by straight girls) and yeah, that isn’t ok. it’s dehumanizing and puts gay men in this box that reduces them to sex objects. ‘the yowz xD’. this isn’t by any stretch of the imagination news to anyone who’s been in like literally any fandom at any time
but at the same time, I feel like there is a way to write/draw gay ships in a way that is intimate or even sexual, but still respectful? and not reduced to some gross fetishistic display? it’s not that black and white. like, I’m a pretty gay dude in a group of friends that are mostly girls/lesbians and quite a few of them like mlm ships and honestly it makes me feel like, better. about my sexuality if anything. it’s affirming to me. but these are also people that know their boundaries and take real life mlm very seriously. some people, unfortunately, are not
I really feel like this is something that can’t be simplified to 'this girl drew two men having sex, so she’s gross and obviously fetishizing gay men’.
also, where do nb people fall in this debate, even? are they fetishizing mlm AND wlw relationships? are they fetishizing neither one? there’s so many things about this argument that bother me as a trans pan dude. I didn’t nail them all bc I am bad at expressing my thoughts on stuff like this sometimes but, yeah.

also……..disagreeing with how things played out does not mean that one is “automatically siding with kim and kanye” or whatever is being said in an attempt guilt trip people. this situation isn’t black and white, the music video is still gross either way but every single person involved with this whole mess is at fault tbh