DnD Shenanigans

DM: at this point you are basically Consumed by the mimic’s amorphous form. You have three rounds before you start to suffocate.

Fighter: I want to make an athletics check to brute force my way out of it.

DM: Okay roll.

Fighter: 22.

DM: You manage to thrash around a bit and get a part of your body outside the blob. That part is… *Rolls* your ass. Andrus (the npc) is going to grope you and try to pull you out. Make a con save.

Fighter: Umm… 4.

DM: You’re aroused. It’s probably the asphyxiation getting to you.


While Roadhog is typically not interested in looking for sexual partners, he’s extremely touchy-feely with those he IS sexually interested in. (That is, after they’ve made it clear they’re fine with it, since he has no interest in people who don’t reciprocate)

He’ll typically grope, squeeze, nibble, hold, nuzzle, etc. those people and he’ll do it usually unexpectedly, since he doesn’t have a good grasp of what’s socially acceptable outside of Junker Mannerisms™

Basically tho, he won’t leave you the fuck alone if you’re responsive to his more carnal advances.

anonymous asked:

remember when Adam flipped his shit when Blake squeezed his breast, but now he's groping Blake's chest like everything's normal.

You mean when Adam took Blake’s hand, put it on his boob and THEN was like “omg don’t touch me there!” That time? These idiots.

@vikrattlehead yes re: first comment- if being gay were the same as being kinky then there wouldn’t be crossover like you said.

however re: tattoos, i described the tattoos as a means/excuse to touch me. yes, men will touch me anyway, didn’t say otherwise. but the tattoos are an easy way to do so. men are always going to be creepy and grope-y but that doesn’t mean they don’t view the tattoos as access points. do you get what i’m saying? that’s why i said opportunistic. instead of being clearly creepy and touching me outright, they first fawn over the tattoo, then in a benevolent sexist way they think it’s then okay to touch the tattoo as if my tattoo is divorced from my body, which it’s not. they essentially give themselves permission to touch me by acting as though they’re assessment the ~~quality of the tattoo work~~~

please don’t tell me it’s not about the tattoos bc they’d do it anyway- i know they would (because they do) but i can honestly say at this point with a good chunk of body covered for 4+ years now, my legs, arms and back are publicly touched a lot more by men than would necessarily be otherwise. nobody opened up my shirt sleeve to look down my back abruptly when they didn’t see a tattoo poking out near the shoulder. people have outright lifted my shirt up to see my back. like i said, its a cheap grope tactic. these observations are not in my head. i’m not victimizing myself by pointing out men are opportunistic whenever they can be, and they use tattoos on the female body to be creepy. the onus is still on men to simply not touch me when they don’t have the right.

the base problem is men being perpetual creeps. creeps think they’re less creepy if they’re finding a supposedly benevolent way to be creepy. tattoos check that box for them. that’s what i’m saying. didn’t say they can’t find other ways to be creeps. idk if i’ve ever typed the word “creep” so much in a post but here we are ahahaha.

Thank you @ericclaptonsgroovyafro for tagging me in the “put your music on shuffle and write down your favorite lyrics” tag! I love music tags. :)

1. A Most Peculiar Man by Simon & Garfunkel
And all the people said, “What a shame that he’s dead,
But wasn’t he a most peculiar man?”

2. The Sun Is Burning by Simon & Garfunkel
All is darkness, anger, pain and fear
Twisted, sightless wrecks of men
Go groping on their knees and cry in pain

3. Fried Hockey Boogie by Canned Heat
So we, uh, decided to demonstrate to you how each of the boys in the band does his little thing
Now the first to do the boogie for ya’ll this evening is the Blind Owl

4. Peach, Plum, Pear by Joanna Newsom
What was golden went gray

5. Cloudy by Simon & Garfunkel
And they linger there to die.
They don’t know where they are going, and, my friend, neither do I.

6. Monday Morning by Fleetwood Mac
First you love me then you say it’s wrong
I can’t go on believing for long

7. Bridges and Balloons by Joanna Newsom
And a thimblesworth of milky moon
Can touch hearts larger than a thimble

8. Homeward Bound by Simon & Garfunkel
On a tour of one-night stands
my suitcase and guitar in hand.

9. The Burning Down by King’s X/cover by Ninja Sex Party
Some of them know love
Some of us know the burning down

10. God Only Knows by The Beach Boys
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me

I tag @johnfogertyy, @silhouettesandfiguresstay, @lunariknight @carolinenope, @johncale, @depecheymode, @moveslikekeithrichards, and @amihazzanough! And anyone else who wants to do this!

anonymous asked:

Imagine being dommed by Wanda and Jean,like your sitting in Wanda's lap,facing Jean while Jean kisses down your stomach and grips your hips and Wanda is kissing your neck and groping your chest and calling you kitten while Jean mutters about you being their babygirl and only theirs.

i need abt 100 gallons of water what teh shit i need this