grocery workers

is achievement hunter even real though? They really are like a sitcom cast of characters.

You have:

Geoff, a military journalist turned tech support guy turned internet personality who is drunk 98% of the time and covered in tattoos who’s also probably the biggest softy you’d ever see

Jack, a radio dj turned disney land worker turned, again, internet personality, who, despite his awkwardness and peoples’ inclination to bag on him (IDIOTS) is the kindest and most generous person ever omg

Gavin, a grocery store worker turned cinematographer who is simultaneously the dumbest and smartest person on the planet, who also uprooted his life to move halfway around the world for his job, which includes shows and movies and he and his american girlfriend half a british flag and american flag pillow on their respective sides of their bed okay ugh (cuties)

Michael, an electrician who gave up his entire life on a chance and moved halfway across the US for it and became a movie star like…??? oh and met his now-wife because of it like aww

and Ryan, an every day dad with a veterinarian wife and 2 kids who also happens to be a pseudo psychopath and really super crazy smart about the most random stuff ever??

Gorillaz as grocery store workers

Murdoc: meat department
-he gets to B E A T THE M E A T ;)))
-looks hella fine in a white chef coat
-always cranky cuz he spends 30 hrs a week smelling like raw meat
-has to wear gloves 24/7 cuz his dirty hands would cause instant salmonella (or death) if it makes contact with food
-spends his breaks smoking outside the store

2D: cashier
-super friendly with customers
-always greets people with a smile and tells them to have a fantastic day
-only weakness is the cash register: he fumbles with pushing the right buttons, giving the right change, putting in coupons..etc
-but he’s set the store record for fastest time scanning items

Noodle: deli
-always wears a hair net
-ceran wraps food like a P R O
-hates working with chicken and lunch meat cuz she’s vegan
-all of her coworkers are women (for some reason) so she gets along with them really well
-Noodle is really self-consious about her name, so her coworkers let her call them names like ‘ramen’, ‘sketti’, and 'mac’
-is able to carry a pan of chicken fresh out of the oven without burning her hands

Russel: bakery
-is often seen covered in flour
-makes the best donuts
-his favorite part of working is giving out free cookies to little kids
-one time he spent 6 hours straight decorating wedding cakes
-always smells like warm, fresh bread

spacehawk-am  asked:

There is nothing worse for a grocery store worker than the weatherman saying the "S" word. Customers are acting like a new Ice Age is coming and all the food distributors decided to burn all their trucks as sacrifice to Ullr.

You live in the south, don’t you? lol When I lived in Louisiana as a kid we got the popcorn out and took a drive specifically to see the panic. It was hilarious. -Abby

ganymede-rhapsody  asked:

I saw that you did a list of vocabulary for working in fast-food. Could you do a list for retail workers/cashiers? Grocery/Clothing/department stores? We also have a Russian speaking community here in Anchorage Alaska. Thank you!

Sure, but please note, Russian customer service is (how could I put that mildly?) not so much customer-oriented. People from the Russian communities in the US expect from the Western customer service way more than from the Russian one, so the phrases below are not exactly what you would hear in Russia. 

- Доброе утро/ добрый день/ добрый вечер! - Good morning!/ day/ evening!
- Вам помочь? - Could I help you?
- Чем я могу Вам помочь? - How could I help you?
- Вас интересует что-то конкретное? - Are you looking for something specific?
- Какой размер? - What size?
- На размер больше/ меньше? - One size bigger/smaller? 
- Эта вещь сегодня на распродаже - This is on sale today. 
- Отличная цена! - Great price! (Good deal) 
- Сегодня у нас распродажа на … We have …. on sale today. 
- Это в пятом ряду, внизу - It is on the fifth isle, on the bottom. 
- Молочные продукты - справа, в самом конце. Dairies are on the right, to the very end. 
- Сколько штук? (how many pieces?)
- Сколько взешивать? (How much - regarding the weight - a pound, two pounds etc)
- Что-нибудь ещё? - Anything else? 

- Мы принимаем оплату - we accept … 

– чеками - cheques
– наличными - cash
– кредитными картами - credit cards 
- Это в подарок? - Is that for a gift? 
- Вот ваш чек - Here’s your receit. 

exo as grocery store workers
  • Xiumin: works at the salad bar and he's always very generous with toppings and dressing. doesn't charge you extra for that fancy cheese or for the extra roast chicken.
  • Luhan: He's a cashier and he bags groceries at lightning speed. He hates customers who use coupons because that means time wasted.
  • Kris: One of the two managers. He walks around with a scary glare, and singlehandedly managed to cause three shoplifters to fess up from pure fear. Actually, he was just trying not to cry after watching Marley and Me in his office during the break.
  • Suho: The other manager. Much friendlier, helps people carry their groceries to their cars, hands out coupons to old ladies, gives little kids free samples of their latest juice or whatever. Immensely popular and attracts a loyal fanbase aka regular customers.
  • Lay: In charge of the seafood section. His heart breaks every time someone buys a live crab or lobster because he knows they'll end up dead in a few hours. He always has to take a moment to calm down after someone buys live seafood.
  • Baekhyun: Stacks cans artfully. His nimble fingers allow him to stack the prettiest can formations. He will literally throw a hissy fit whenever Chanyeol knocks the cans down accidentally.
  • Chen: Nobody knows what his job really is. He likes using the intercom to announce "Cleanup in aisle 4" even though there was no mess. His way of adding fun to his weekday.
  • Chanyeol: The poor sucker who is stuck with cleaning duties. This is only because he makes the messes half the time. Often the target of Chen's "cleanup in aisle 4".
  • D.O.: Rotisserie worker. He likes watching the chickens on the rotisserie. People are deathly afraid of his station because of all the knives and sharp objects he keeps there.
  • Tao: Grocer. When no one is looking, he sometimes pretends the vegetables are his friends and he likes to vent to them. He was caught making out with broccoli once.
  • Kai: He loves working at the supermarket because of all the food. He likes to chill outside where customers leave their dogs. Again, nobody knows where he came from or what his actual job is, but Suho and Kris sometimes need his help in carrying heavy things.
  • Sehun: Worst cashier you'll ever meet. Doesn't accept coupons, doesn't smile and definitely doesn't pack your groceries the way you ask him to. Suho was worried about Sehun's attitude, so he got Sehun a badge that says 'Service with a smile!!' Sehun still doesn't smile though.

happymunchqueen  asked:

PSA from retail/grocery workers: Don't ever touch us. I work at a grocery store, and I was watching self-checkout. Had plenty of space on either side of me to talk to me. But douchebag here, decided it was okay to 1) creep up behind and scare me, 2) call me sweetheart and 3) touch me right where my bra clasps to get my attention. I'm not talking a small poke, I mean his entire hand touched me like he was about to escort me somewhere. Keep your gross hands to yourself, its called personal space.

Black [M]

A/N: i’m going to be honest and say that this is my least favorite chapter so far :| maybe because it’s sad idk

characters: dean x oc, zico x oc, crush, rome

genre: angst(ish?), university au

rated: m, alcoholism, violence, (mentions of) abuse (physical and physiological), sexual content (not in this ch)

CH1 CH2 CH3

chapter 4:

“chaeyeon!” dean yelled out for me. his voice sounded distant and my head was throbbing. i felt my face resting against the cold pavement. I didn’t know what was happening but my wrist felt like it had been snapped in two. i heard a mixture of yelling and gasps as i laid on the ground. i was barely able to make out the words being hollered.

“WHAT THE FUCK, SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO YOU”

“what are you going to do? hit me?”

dean was frustrated and angry, i heard it in the way he uttered his words. the sound of sirens followed quickly after, becoming closer with every second that passed by. i felt a set of hands lift my head off the pavement, it felt wet.

“fuck. uhm okay, you’re okay chae just stay awake ok it’s nothing too bad”

“i literally just pushed her, i didn’t do that. that blood isn’t because of me. how was i supposed to know she would fall off the curb”

“shut the fuck up i don’t need your input” before heoyang could reply the ambulance arrived.

“what happened, how old is she and are you related to her?”

dean was bombarded with questions and i had the urge to get up but the minute i tried, a pair of gloved hands pushed me back down.

“stay still please, we’ll get you out of here soon”

“uhm,” dean hesitated before responding. “she…fell off the curb and hit her head against the parking stop. i think she hit the nail on it but she twisted her wrist trying to catch her fall”

i fell?! last time i checked being shoved isn’t really falling.

Keep reading

So, I saw something in Costco that enraged me yesterday..

My fiance and I were in Costco, and I started to hear this nails-on-a-chalk-board squeaky noise. Down the isle I see this family with, like, nineteen kids and counting, and one of them was slapping her hand on every. single. glass. door. and. dragging. her. filthy. hand. down. it. 

EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. *SLAP-SCREE-SLAP-SCREE*

Looking around you could point out everyone who works/worked in retail because we were all looking at her and her parents like:

and of course her parents weren’t doing a damn thing about it. As we continued shopping I noticed that every single glass door was smeared in her nasty hand prints. A few isles down we saw the poor employee who had to clean the mess up and he was obviously furious. He wasn’t saying anything, but you could feel the rage radiating off him like:

SERIOUSLY. This was not okay!! It still angers me. Control your nasty kids, respect the space you are in, know how to act in public and pass this on to your children! That was ridiculous. 

ToppDogg Alphabet Drabble: Z-ipper

Z is for Zipper!

Pairing: Xero x You

-

Ever since you moved to Seoul for work, you made it your routine to do your groceries every two weeks. You hated doing adult stuffs but you know you have to in order to survive.

“Hm, let’s see… eggs, ramen, chips…” You checked your unhealthy list of foods. Anything instant is your best friend and you buy anything that requires minimal cooking time.

“Shit, I forgot I ran out of pads!” You remembered using your last piece of napkin when you had your period last month and any moment this week you would have to suffer satan’s waterfalls again.

You pushed your cart and headed to the toiletries aisle to grab some pads and other stuffs. From the corner of your eye you saw a staff fixing the shampoo bottles across but didn’t really pay much attention.

Until you felt a light tap on your shoulder and was greeted by probably the most good-looking grocery worker (with his blinding white hair) you’ve ever seen and why the fuck is he here and not working as a model?!

“Hi! Can I ask you something?” He said in a cheery voice as if approaching customers in the grocery and asking them questions out of the blue is totally normal.

You eyed his name tag and saw his name, ‘Jiho’ and your eyes also landed somewhere it shouldn’t but for the second time, you chose not to pay attention and instead asked him how could you be of help.

“I’m just really curious. I have a sister but she refuses to tell me cause she thinks I’m being gross so, can you tell me what’s the difference between a napkin and a tampon?” He asked.

Why he wanted to know the difference between those two, you have no idea. And yes, this might count as the weirdest question you’ve ever received but his cute expressionless face helped you compose yourself and answer his question.

“Well, a napkin is like a diaper but smaller and thinner and you just stick it in your underwear, but tampons, you need to insert it inside the… you know..” You explained.

“Insert where?” He asked, face still clueless.

Is this guy serious? “Uhm, you know the private part.” You said awkwardly.

“Oh, I see now. Thanks a lot!” He said and resumed into piling the shampoo bottles in the shelf.

You contemplated wether you should tell him or not, but he just asked you a very weird question so he probably won’t be weirded out with what you’re going to say.

“Hey, before I leave, I just want to say that your fly is open.” You said in a low voice.

“What? There’s a fly?” He misheard and proceeded to wave his hand in the air trying to whack the non-existent fly.

SERIOUSLY. YOU DON’T KNOW IF THIS GUY IS JUST SLOW OR REALLY STUPID.

“No!! Your zipper is open and I can see your boxers!!” You said almost screaming.

“Oh!” He realized what you just said and looked down on his pants, and hurriedly closed his zippers.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You whispered under your breath as you leave the toiletries aisle.

“Did you just call me cute?” He said from behind your back.

HOW DID HE MANAGE TO HEAR THAT?

You looked back and saw that he was smiling from ear to ear. “Well, my shift will be over in an hour, just in case you wanna ask me out for coffee.”