So this guy came back last night and we got to talking.  He was telling me all about how he’d just gotten married to this girl who he’d been head over heels in love with, but he’d only known her for about two weeks.  It all seemed so perfect but soon everything went south and by the time they’d gotten back from the honeymoon in Puget Sound they were at each others throats and when they got back they ended up getting the marriage anoled.

“I read David Denby’s stuffy New Yorker lament Do Teens Read Seriously Anymore? on my phone yesterday, glued to a screen just like the typical American teenagers he throws shade at in his opening paragraph. “Looking at them, you can envy their happiness,” Denby writes. “You can also find yourself wishing them immersed in a different kind of happiness – in a superb book or a series of books, in the reading obsession itself! You should probably keep on wishing.” What follows is a wordy, predictable groaner: the kids these days, Denby writes, are unable to connect to each other outside digital technologies and uninterested in reading the classics. Oh, teens do read, he acknowledges, with a half-hearted nod to science fiction and fantasy favorites, graphic novels, and young adult literature. But they don’t read in a serious way – they ignore Shakespeare, Twain and Salinger. Denby lists a half-dozen other omissions too, only two of them women, it might be observed, and none of them people of color.”

(via Teen readers aren’t in crisis, they’re just making their own rules | Books | The Guardian)

All hail @elizabethminkel!

Cryptography enthusiasts, assemble! Here is a fabulous “octave in hieroglyphic ciphers” from p. 46 of LJS 423. If you have a passion for tussling with early 17C Spanish rebus puzzle poems, please have at it– and when you would like to check your answer, head on right over to the manuscript page on the Penn Libraries website where you can see the key that I have cropped out. My favorite bit of code here might be what’s happening with that shield on line 6; it’s a real groaner.

Manuscript description and digital images can be found here at OPenn, and you can download an ebook version here.

i get this feeling that viktor krum has a great sense of humour, and he gets really into english-language jokes - both as a way to improve his english by deconstructing language, but also because he’s a cool guy and cool guys like jokes. ok.

at least, he thinks he’s got a great sense of humour, but this over-reliance on puns makes most of them groaners, rather than actual laugh-jokes

you might say that these jokes are a bit


OK, what if Kylo Ren discovered Hux’s sense of humor. Accidentally. By making an unintentional pun and feeling Hux mentally straining not to laugh from across the room. From then on Kylo Ren becomes the undisputed master of bad puns. Real groaners delivered deadpan in sepulchral intonation from behind that mask. No one ever DARES to laugh. And he will. not. stop. Meanwhile, Hux thinks it’s goddamn hilarious. Hux HATES that he finds them so funny, that Ren is actually funny. Ren makes him suppress giggles on the bridge every shift. Ren only speaks during high command teleconferences to deliver shitty puns and watch Hux twitch. The looks on the other Generals’ faces are the best part.

@youdidnotseeme & I come up with the best AUs. 

anonymous asked:

Okay you can either pick one or do all, your choice! Ships: Iwaoi, oisuga, kagehina, kuroken, kenhina and daisuga Have a nice day!


Iwaoi // Oisuga // Kagehina // Kuroken // Daisuga

Who is louder?

Oikawa. His moans are practically pornographic. //  It can go either way between the two, although Oikawa makes it his life mission to make Suga as vocal as he can because his moans are just so unbelievably hot // Hinata. He usually lets out a plethora of grunts, groans and moans whereas Kageyama is prone to the occasional groan and string of cusses // Kuroo is prone to let out a few loud groans during the sexytimes although, like Oikawa, he does whatever he can to make Kenma just as vocal because his little moans and mewls are enough to make him melt // Again, it can go either way between these two. Daichi’s a groaner and Suga’s a big ol’ moaner.

Who is more experimental? 

Oikawa. Iwa may be rough but he’s pretty vanilla // They’re both pretty adventurous but Suga tends to be even more so than Oikawa // Hinata. Kags wouldn’t even be aware of other positions if it weren’t for Hinata // Kuroo // Suga

Who takes more risks? 

Oikawa // Oikawa // Hinata // Kuroo // Suga

Do they fuck or make love? 

These guys FUCK, for two reasons. One: Iwaizumi is a fucking beast, Two : Oikawa is a damn tease .Reason one usually leads to reason two, Oikawa teasing Iwaizumi because he wants those gorgeous bara arms pinning him down while Iwa completely destroys him // They tend to be more slow and controlled rather than fuck // It can go either way between these two. It really depends on their mood // Kuroo loves fucking and Kenma likes anything that doesn’t involve too much work. As a compromise, they usually start slow and if they’re both in the mood, they’ll end up in a sweaty mess of tangled limbs // They tend to make love more than fuck.

Lights on or off? 

They aren’t really partial to either // Prefers to leave the lights on // Lights off // Lights off // Suga isn’t partial to either, however Daichi prefers leaving it on so he can get a clear view of Suga. His sex face should be considered illegal.

Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? 

Oikawa. He’s pretty shameless about it too, often leaving the door open and deliberately being loud just so he could ask Iwa ‘for a hand’ // Oikawa, same reason // Hinata. Usually because he’s pretty loud // Kuroo. Kenma doesn’t masturbate often and like Oikawa, Kuroo doesn’t make much effort to hide his activities // Neither. They’re both cautious enough whenever they need some alone time.

Who is more likely to suggest a threesome? 

I feel like Kuroo and Oikawa would be the only one’s to consider a threeway.

Has either stolen the other’s underwear? 

Iwaoi : Oikawa once stole Iwa’s boxers after practice when he was off having a shower.. along with the rest of his clothes. Poor Iwa was forced to beg, begrudgingly, for his clothes back in only a towel.

Who comes first? 

Oikawa // Suga // Hinata // Kenma // Suga

Who is better at oral and who prefers it? 

Oikawa is absolutely godlike with his tongue and Iwaizumi always looks forward to another one of Oikawa’s legendary blowjobs, although he’d never admit it. // They’re both equally skilled at giving oral sex but Oikawa looks more forward to receiving // Kageyama LOVES receiving and Hinata is pretty good with his mouth // Although Kuroo prefers receiving oral sex, he definitely knows how to reduce someone to a moaning, whimpering mess with just his tongue or fingers alone //  Suga is better at giving and Daichi loves receiving

who is more submissive? 

Oikawa // Suga // Hinata // Kenma // Suga

Who usually initiates things? 

Oikawa // Oikawa // Hinata // Kuroo // Daichi

Who is more sensitive? 

Iwaizumi. Kiss or suck at his neck or collarbones and he wont be able to resist. //  Suga. His nipples are super sensitive and Oikawa loves taking advantage of that // Kageyama. His earlobes, which Hinata never fails to blow hot air on or pant against and nibble on //  Kenma. Like Suga, his nipples are pretty sensitive and like Oikawa, Kuroo loves taking advantage of that.// Daichi. His thighs are really sensitive and Suga loves grinding against them or squeezing them whenever he gives Daichi a blowjob. 

Who has the most patience? 

Iwaizumi // Suga // Neither, lol // Kenma // both

Which kinks do they share?

Sensory deprivation // Public sex // Dry sex // phone sex // mutual masturbation


President Obama defies gender stereotypes when giving toys to needy children and makes a painful groaner of a dad joke at the end.

I’m surprised nothing was said about this one. Here Lance is again quick to catch the princess. (with a groaner pun, but hey another reason to love him) And he is soooo way adorable here.

anonymous asked:

if you have time, i was wondering if you had any headcannons about 10k getting it on with his boyfriend

bi 10k maKES A RETURN 

10k really likes his boyfriend’s legs, and I mean he really likes them. When they’re making out his hands always go over his butt and around his thighs, He lifts him up onto his hips to make this easier if he’s standing. 

10k is a top. Fight me. He’s gentle and awkward the majority of the time, but as soon as he gets his boyfriend into bed, he changes. He’s confident and dominant as he tells him what he wants him to do and what he’s going to do back to him. 

He’s not a biter, but he loves being bitten. He enjoys the game of his boyfriend biting him in more and more obvious places and then him having to try and hide it without looking suspicious in the process. 

He’s not a moaner or a groaner or a screamer. He’s a whimper. Tiny, adorabel little whines and breathy squeaks. His boyfriend is louder, and the sounds that he makes turns him on so much. He loves making him groan aloud, and he doesn’t care who hears. 

He gets kinky. He never used to be, but one night his boyfriend calls him sir. From then on, he craves the sound of the title leaving his lips. 

Afterwards he goes back to quiet, awkward 10k again, not looking his boyfriend in the eye for a moment, and then when he does, his cheeks go red and his eyes are wide. 

Afterthough: 10k bites his lip a lot, He finds it hard to concentrate on anything afterwards, because of how heavily damaged his lip is, it’s hard to use a sniper rifle when you’re dabbing blood from your lip every few seconds. 

anonymous asked:

How do you think the guys are during sex (what their kinks are/what gets them going, moaners/groaners, rough or passionate ect ect)?

answered this one multiple times