Shiro definitely makes a first impression on the team as Intimidatingly Cool and a major icebreaker between him and Hunk is them bonding over puns. Hunk makes a pun without thinking, and before Lance can even groan about it Shiro fires right back with a related pun and Hunk looks like he’s witnessed a miracle.
Hunk and Lance bond because they were already best friends. Hunk and Keith bond because Keith is like a sad kitten left out in the rain and there’s no way Hunk doesn’t hone in on that like a heat seeking missile. Hunk and Pidge bond over science. Hunk and Shiro? bond over puns.
Coran totally gets in there too but he’s put-out that cultural barriers mean some of his jokes require way too much explanation to be funny. He’s personally deeply vindicated the first time he makes a joke involving klanmuirl migratory patterns and Lance groans right away.
Pidge groans about puns. Her dad and her brother are both awful with puns so she’s just done with them. Lance didn’t mind puns until he started hanging out with Hunk, who takes these things to an entirely new level.
Keith is indifferent to puns but tends to get them like five to ten seconds later than everyone else unless someone explains it to him. (On that note there is no way to make Keith angry faster than “nobody explain the joke.”)
Allura will groan at other people’s puns (especially Coran’s, early on she’s the main indication the paladins have that Coran is making a pun) but once in a blue moon she likes to make them herself. When they’re her puns, she finds them absolutely hilarious.
I ran into a post about how the fandom (myself included) tends to take Shiro a little too seriously as like. a paragon of rationality or the Responsible One when I mean, he was right in there with the laser gun noises with everyone else, so I’ve been committed to the idea of putting more levity into my Shiro meta.
First idea I had: imagine at some point Shiro’s arm gets seriously trashed and it needs to get detached so they can work on it properly, so Shiro is just going around the castle with a stump.
And he starts making arm jokes.
Lance is a groaner, and part of the reason why Lance is so good at catching puns is Hunk loves them so Hunk and Shiro rapidly just start volleying off each other at a terrifying rate.
At some point Allura steps in “Shiro, I think you’re killing Lance.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that, Princess. It’s all ‘armless fun.”
Cue Shiro laughing at his own joke while Allura is trying really, really hard to keep a straight face on because Shiro… that was awful.
All you batjokes shippers do yourself a favor and watch Supermansion on Crackle (if you don’t mind crude adult humor, of course). The Batman and Joker expies (Black Saturn and Groaner, respectively) not only have a similar arc to Lego Batman’s (just that in this case, it’s Black Saturn who is obsessive about labeling their relationship) but as of the more recent episode, the show has acknowledged that their relationship is supposed to be read as romantic.
They’re basically batjokes on crack and it’s gay and awesome.
A = Aftercare Kris is kind of a goof ball, but he’s really good at taking care of people i.e. EXO, did y’all see him when he was a kindergarten teacher for a day?, etc. He’s extremely cautious with your body in general, but he can’t rest soundly until he knows you’re one hundred percent okay, relaxing baths are taken, and cuddles are a given.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Does this even count lmao He loves his height, Kris uses it to his full advantage over you. Aside from being a shit head bf/lover with the whole ‘lmao ur so short’, Kris loves how he can practically shield you with his body, it’s easy to grasp your wrists in his hand and pin you down. Idc who you are, Kris is an Amazon and he is bigger than you, so funny enough his favorite thing about you is how you’re a contrast to him, your hands are smaller, height’s shorter, and you’re easier to control.
C = Cum He favors cuming on you rather than in you, ‘easier to clean up’ he says sure sure and while he’s pretty noisy during sex, that comes to a halt when he finishes, he goes dead silent aside from one final grunt or two kinda weird but whatever
D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) One thing Kris has wanted to try but never got around to asking, was sex in the dance studio. Something about the mirrors, and being able to see all around, see everything you do, was an idea that turned him on, but he’s hesitant to ask about the semi public place.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Lmao Nana says since he was raised in the West, and ‘we a bunch of hoes’, there’s no way he spent his teenage years here and didn’t get no pussy. i hA T E HER so take that for what it’s worth. At this point, he definitely knows what he’s doing, I don’t see any way he doesn’t know his way around sex, he’s got a few notches in his belt, that’s all I’m sayin.
F = Favorite position Kris is a pretty big Yifan of you on top, 90% of life, Kris has you on his lap anyways, he just likes you there, so having you roll your hips against him, or laying back and just guiding your movements with his hands on your waist, is pretty common when you have sex, it’s his favorite. Plus, it gives him the opportunity to just hold you still and thrust up in to you, even though he’s on the bottom, he still holds the control.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Kris Wu? FanFan? Yifan? The Galaxy Man? The ultimate meme? Serious in bed? Don’t make me laugh lmao. There’s always a somewhat serious atmosphere during sex, but he’s not serious, not that much anyways. Unless he’s doing a little role play thing, sex with him is pretty fun and light hearted. He’s a really easy going guy, so I think sex with him matches.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they) Lord remember that fake beard thing Kris wore? that was a literal nightmare I don’t think he’s bare down there, but he’s pretty clean and a neat man, but I think he definitely manscapes though.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) I think Kris would be one of the best bfs/husbands/lovers, I really think it’s in his mind that he has to be a better man that his dad was to him and his mom really, a missing parent really fucks up kids minds i know so he’s kind of over the top with his love and affection towards you. He’s doesn’t show it much during sex, but he’s extremely affectionate, and talkative after sex is finished, he needs to make sure you understand that he does love you, and he isn’t just fucking around with you or anything like that.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation) You’re pretty much his main outlet, but some nights he’s off filming, or you’re not available, he’s got to take care of business. He’s really a pretty vocal masturbater, he’s not quiet by any means, if by a few mistaken butt dials showed anything…
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) Praise is one of Kris’ main kinks. I think he’s lowkey self conscious, and you moaning about how much you love him, how good he’s making you feel, how big he is, how good he is, really starts a fire in him. Aside from that, he’s semi dominant, he likes to toy with the role play of office sex i.e. calling him sir and boss and along those lines.
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) Again, out of the EXO dorm, he has free reign and doesn’t have to worry. One of his favorites is anywhere that has a counter; kitchen, bathroom sink, dinning room, whatever. Unless you’re riding him, fucking you on a counter really eases the mess of trying to match his height with sex. He can just prop you up on a counter top and have full access and go at it.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) [Back to Kink] He really does love praise, in any form, all you have to do is over hype whatever he’s done, how handsome he is, his muscles, whatever, and it just strikes to his heart and he’s pushing you to the bedroom.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Shower sex is off limits entirely, he slipped once what can you expect from the fucking giraffe thankfully it didn’t need a trip to the ER but he’s forever terrified that he’s going to hurt you worse. You can’t even get him hard in the bathroom anymore, he’s kinda traumatized and guilty over dropping you….
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
anyways, one of Kris’ favorite pass times, in general, is teasing the shit out of you, and what better to do that than his sinful tongue? He’s a pleaser, and he’s damn good at it, add that with his fingers? girl bye can you even reach his dick if you’re on your knees….hes pretty damn tall im sure i couldnt lol He definitely doesn’t reject having you on your knees, he’s somewhat dominant so the sight alone is surely welcomed.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Nana says because Kris is so big, he’s doesn’t really have good control over his hips? Like he’s kind of sloppy-ish, and honestly with his body vs unless you’re an exact copy of him, I see it being a slight issue and some…adjustments need to happen before sex works well. His pace is kind of slow, more fluid and more just rolling his hips into you than full blown thrusts. He’s not rough, he’s actually pretty gentle, if rough is what you want, you’ll have to ask, because he’s really just a giant teddy bear and he’s so gentle and loving.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) Since he does have the time to play with you properly, quickies aren’t very frequent in your relationship. They’re really rare, to be honest. Kris likes taking his time with you, and making sure you’re both completely satisfied, so quickies aren’t really in his good books, but the occasional quick morning sex does happen. Just not often.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) Again, like Luhan, he doesn’t have to hide and be careful as much as he would have if he was still in EXO, so free reign as a human means free reign with his dick i hate that i just wrote that sentence Sex is pretty fun and adventurous with Kris, he’s not really one to shy away from most things, he’s down to do anything that you propose or if he finds something he wants to try, as long as it’s in reason. Like he’s not going to fuck you in a McDonald’s bathroom stall, but he’s pretty open to try things.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) Kris really doesn’t strike me as a guy that can go for hours on end, he’s not a freakin caveman or smth. One round is the usual, on special days, he likes to drag it out and keep you home so after a rest you can have sex several times, but one round is typically it. Kris is a pretty average guy lmao who even describes kris as fuckin average shut up liz so sex is usually around 5-10 minutes.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Kris likes to say he’s the only toy you need hes got a dick he can hold you down his fingers are like fucking dildos what more do you need tbh but he does enjoy a few toys he uses to tease you with. He favors toys around the area of feathers and the likes, things that are meant to be paired with a lovely blindfold he keeps in the bedside drawer, and used to get you on edge and squirm at every barely there brush of the toy.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Kris is quite a tease, just because he can. He gets a weird satisfaction out of semi pissing you off, teasing you isn’t his turn on or anything, he just likes frustrating you to the point of screaming. I don’t care who you are, Kris has got a weight/height advantage over you, and he loves being able to just pin you down and push you to the edge without actually doing much to you.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) He’s got a damn good deep voice and he makes good use of it. He’s not vocal in the sense he speaks, he really doesn’t say much during sex, he’s more of a pillow talker after you’re finished. But he’s a grunter, moaner, groaner, etc. He makes a lot of noises and they’re pretty loud.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) Kris is a (sadly) damaged person, from his dad to SM to the hate he got after he left, he desperately needs someone to care for him. The first time you two had sex, it’s was unspoken but showed that he really needed reassurance that you actually cared for him, he needed a lot of approval and affection.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Kris is another one of the older boys so his weird hormonal ‘i gotta fuck anything that walks’ whole situation has chilled out, his sex drive is relatively normal. As much as you’d expect for a guy nearing his 30s holy fuck 30 yall omg Sex comes about 2-3 times a week usually, he’s not exactly a horn dog.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Why do I try to make these logical Since FanFan isn’t in EXO, or heavily in the music light anymore, I don’t think he’s used to using so much energy anymore. He’s gained weight and hes so healthy and happy looking im in love and our big galaxy man is a tired bby, after sex he’s pretty tuckered out and in dire need of a nap or the clumsy man we know is amplified like 20x how he usually is. He falls asleep very fast. If you have no intentions to sleep, you best get out the bed quick, because he’s a cuddler and once he’s got you in his arms you’re stuck. Good luck my dudes