grit newspaper

Reasons to be happy today:

  • Bruce’s office at Wayne Enterprises is probably full of framed pictures of his kids, but every time somebody tries to use them as a conversation starter, it backfires wildly. Bruce has too many children, and he is Exhausted™
  • “Are these your sons? They’re very handsome” “Their sister just sent me video of them getting into a fistfight and breaking two of my windows, but thank you, yeah, they’re good-looking kids”
  • “No that one doesn’t smile for pictures. This is a candid from after his brother fell down the stairs. He’s laughing”
  • “Yes, that’s Jason [grits teeth] [sets aside newspaper titled ‘Red Hood Levels Mayoral Office’] We miss him every day”
  • Anytime Tim needs an excuse to run off and superhero, he invents a “family emergency” where Damian got injured doing something childish. Damian can’t tell anyone Tim was lying– that would jeopardize their secret identities– so he has to put up with concerned adults asking if he’s okay now?? Has he recovered from that bike crash?? Did he thank Tim for driving him to the emergency room??
  • Obviously, Damian is not a fan of this tactic. Why anyone would believe he fell off a bike is beyond him, because he doesn’t ride bikes, and if he did, he would ride them expertly. It’s not convincing, Drake. Stop laughing. He means it.

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@lightningparadox said: I think about “Yes, that’s Jason [grits teeth] [sets aside newspaper titled ‘Red Hood Levels Mayoral Office’] We miss him every day” just about every day and I don’t know why but it’s like the fucking funniest thing I have ever read

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Lmao thanks :) It’s the age old question isn’t it? How do I pretend to mourn my dead son when he is both alive and a giant pain in my ass

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