In these and countless other examples of how the difference of race both confounded (and was contained by) the prescription of intimacy, it became apparent that girl love could easily, intensely, perform as a feminist mode of control and psychic violence. Such confessional gestures and professed desires for intimacy with the other produce possessive investments in an antiracist whiteness. That is, confession here enacts ownership, naming one’s property (“I am owning my whiteness,” “I have friends of color”) or the desire for it (“I need more friends of color”) to enhance one’s holdings…. Thus does bell hooks suggest that guilt is the manufacture, not the collapse of whiteness. The hope to pursue “intimate relationships with less privileged people,” for example, depends upon a logic of accumulation as self-betterment – indeed, even as a public performance of apparent unselving (because the speaker presumes she is made vulnerable in confession, or incorporation of the other) it enacts a possessive investment in one’s own transgressions of boundaries. As Nia King observes in Ungrateful Black/White Girl about this “unconquerable monster:” “You get to give yourself little anti-racist points for every time you don’t flip out or break down crying when someone calls you a racist, whether it’s blatant or sugar-coated. You get […] a little merit badge and to move on the next level. That’s the monster part. If you are the POC who is doing the calling out, you are throwing your defenses at the monster and it is just eating them and getting stronger. You can’t win, because ultimately your accusations benefit them.” For just these reasons, through which antiracism becomes both a property in the twofold sense of an accumulation of value and of an immanent quality of the “good” revolutionary, Sara Ahmed warns, “indeed, antiracism may even provide the conditions for a new discourse of white pride. Here, antiracism becomes a matter of generating a positive white identity, an identity that makes the white subject feel good. The declaration of such an identity sustains the narcissism of whiteness and allows […] white subjects [to] feel good by feeling good about ‘their’ antiracism.”

(Mimi Thi Nguyen, Slander No. 8)