“If I have to hear one more Christmas song I will go somewhat insane, love.” Harry announces with a heavy huff, not being keen on the repetition of Christmas songs echoing through the house as you bake your annual Christmas cookies. “Awah, are you being the Grinch tonight, baby?” You gently chuckle, looking over at him as he sits up on the couch after lying down for the last hour with his eyes clued to his phone.
“No, can we listen to something else?”
“Will you watch a Christmas movie when I’m done baking?” You bribe, overhearing yet another lament escape his lips.
“I’m all Christmas out for the night.”
“You sound like the Grinch.”
“C'mon, let’s have a break and play non Christmas music.”
“No, it’s Christmas.” You shake your head, scooping cookie dough into your hand and rolling it into a ball to place on the baking tray. “Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me. Been an awful good girl.” You hum along to your phone, another grunt escaping from Harry. “Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight.” The lyrics roll off your tongue, your eyes watching as Harry gets off the couch— shaking his head, nearing closer to the kitchen. “Either my singing is terrible, or you’re really a bit peckish.” You wink, observing as he rolls eyes,
“This song is the worst.” He comments, eyeing the cookie dough as you continue to make biscuits.
“It’s not bad.” You disagree,
“It sexualises Santa, its overly rated and I’d rather listen to Rudolph the red nose reindeer.” He remarks, the sounds of whining beginning to ring through the house. “I’ll get him, please turn the sexualising Santa song off.” Harry graciously instructs, walking towards the stairs to get the newly awaken boy.
Harry emerges down the staircase with a still slumberous boy, his hair a hopeless situation, his little legs beginning to bounce around, his chubby hands rubbing his eyes. “Nice song choice.” Harry rolls his eyes, his words biting him in the ass as ‘Rudolph the red nose reindeer’ plays through your phone.
“You said you’d rather listen to this.” You shrug with a grin, your sons eyes radiating over at you and the cookies.
“Mhm, I guess… Ah, is mummy making cookies? Mhm, she is.” Harry begins to enthusiastically wake your son up, rubbing his little tummy and bouncing him. “Mummy thinks she’s not going to share. Isn’t she wrong? Yes she is, yes she is.” Harry continues to coo,
“I can hear you, you know?” You curiously ask, observing as Harry makes your son bursts out laughing and grin widely with his silly faces. “Yes, I know.” Harry nods, “oh I forgot, Niall said he’d watch this lil pumpkin tomorrow.”
“Great, I can have you to myself for longer than three minutes in bed.”
“I take offence to that.” He gasps,
“Whatever, will you help me with these?” You sigh, getting tired of rolling the chocolate dough into balls. Harry nods and places your son down to wonder the living room. You look up and see your son mesmerised by the Christmas lights, once again staring at them as he sits by the tree, occasionally pulling at the Christmas balls on the bottom. “Fuck.” Harry has a petulant outburst of a bad temper, dropping some chocolate to the floor,
“Language.” You nudge him, “it’s okay, there’s plenty of dough.” You add, observing as he grumbles a few things under his breath. “Do you want to go to bed?” You question, noting how he’s considerably cranky, which is expected, he probably hasn’t slept in a while. After all, once he got home he was side tracked with trying to make a little girl with you instead of sleeping. “Is that an invitation or an instruction?” He questions,
“Harry, you’re being ill-tempered. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head, placing a small kiss to your cheek before eyeing your son. “He’s taking the decorations off the tree.” Harry points out, causing you to somewhat chuckle at your sons doings. He’s always finding something to do or to get into, he’s considerably playfully mischievous in a cute little way. “Damnit.” Harry utters, dropping another ball of chocolate dough, “I’m fucking done, fuck— sorry!” He sighs managing to cuss a few times and apologise for his use of language.
With a chuckle you respond, “you need a nap,”
“I need a beer.” He sighs, looking at you for some sort of approval.
“I’ll finish this, go grab a beer and relax.” You instruct, continuing to merrily make the cookies.
You place the cookies on a plate and place them in the fridge walking into the living room to find a leaden-eyed Harry and a joyfully babbling away little boy. “He’s never going to say Daddy.” Harry yawns as your son walks with a waddle to you, holding his arms up. You pick him up and sit on the couch beside harry. “He will. Do you wanna talk to mum?” You coo, smiling at the little boy, watching his eyes gleam with joy, “say mumma, mumma.” You pronounce, your little boy sitting on your legs and throwing his hands around lightheartedly. “Harry, go to bed before you fall asleep on the couch.” You whisper, watching as his eyes begin to leisurely close,
“Mhm.” He sounds, already beginning to drift,
“Harry.” You gently nudge him, his eyes opening, “the couch isn’t comfy enough to sleep on.” You smile, standing up and holding your son on your hip. “C'mon.” You instruct, gesturing towards the stairs.
“I’m comin’ I’m comin’” harry nods, forcing himself off the couch. You turn the Christmas tree off and climb the stairs, your son squirming in your arms as you reach the top. You place him down and let him waddle his way down the hallway, almost falling over his own little feet. “He’s clumsy, he takes after you.” You chuckle, turning to look at a dreary eyed Harry,
“I can’t dispute that.” Harry yawns, walking behind you as you step into the bedroom, your son already playfully bouncing around the room. “I’m so fucking tired, please tell me I don’t have to be up early.” Harry drowsily blathers, forgetting the little ears in the room. “Shit, sorry. I promise I’ll get better.” He gives you a small smile as he scoops up the little boy in his arms, “don’t repeat what daddy says when he’s tired.” Harry utters to the boy, tickling his belly and making the little one giggle aloud. “We need to tell your Mum whether we are driving to her house for Christmas or not.” You remind harry as he lies on the bed and plays with his son.
“Uh, what are your parents doing?”
“They said whatever works for us.”
“Why don’t we just invite your parents to mums?” Harry offers, “they like each other and it makes it easier. I don’t want to drive two hours to your parents and then have to drive another two hours to mine when we get back.” He continues, making a valid point. Usually you drive two hours to your parents Christmas Eve, stay the night and drive back and drive two hours to his parents. But with a toddler in the mix of things it’s not exactly the best of ideas. “We can see, he’s going to fuss in the car for four hours.” You gesture towards the little one,
“Mhm. Baby, you wanna say daddy yet? Daddy, d-a-d-d-y.” “Harry give him a break.” You chuckle, feeling bad for your son as he’s constantly told the same word over and over again. Harry’s clearly determined to have his son speak. Harry sighs and gives in, deciding it’s time to give up for the night. “Harry, do you want to give him a bottle of milk so he falls to sleep?” You question,
“Eh not really, I’m good here.” He smiles, too lazy to get up himself, “I love you.” He adds, and you shake your head. “Fa.. fa.” Your son begins to mumble, “fuck.” He babbles in his cute little voice.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You whisper,
“Uh oh.” Harry’s eyes widen as he looks at his son, “da, say da.” Harry shakes his head, your son becoming close-mouthed.
“This is your fault.” You sigh,
“He’s mumbling random sounds, it’s probably nothing.” Harry shakes his head,
“Harry, that wasn’t a random sound, that was the naughty word.” You shake your head, not sure whether to laugh or cry at your sons word. “We’re starting a swear jar for you.” You murmur, a little irritated yet amused that your son managed to babble out fuck. “'Tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la-la.” Harry Hums, “he was probably trying to say that.”
“Harry, nice try, but no.” You giggle, “get him milk and put him to sleep.” You instruct, finally allowing yourself to cackle at your son. Oh what a season it really is.
-the first meme of 2015
-airbrushed adam sandler
-for 8,000 dollars a month, i will stop
-captain america: civil war
-i’ve never heard of a george glass at our sküle/sure jan
-take a closer look at that snout!
-“not all men” you’re right, _______ would never do something like this
-me: just fuck me up
-what i expected vs. what i got
-tumblr update/glitch of 2k15
-mmm watcha say
-hi i’m auditioning for the role of _______ and I’ll be singing ________
-little einstein’s remix
-american horror story: hotel
-hoe don’t do it… oh my god
-[looks at smudged writing on hand]
-making fun of igloo australia
-handmaiden & feudal lord
-these are their stories
-jet fuel can’t melt steel beams
-the sausage movement
-bro pickup lines
-hi welcome to chili’s
-embrace your uncomfort zone
-putting chat bubbles over cartoon characters
-mall cop 2
-sneme (snail meme/snake meme)
-chances of winning in a fight
-let’s mcfreakin lose it
-facebook mom minion pictures
-look at this photograph
-down with cis
-pokemon + world of warcraft’s love child
-you stole fizzy lifting drink
-charlie charlie challenge
لُلُصّبُلُلصّبُررً ॣ ॣh ॣ ॣ
-shia labouf just do it
-cole slaw hate
-NOT AS BRAVE AS THESE SOLDIERS
-i hate when people dress like this… like we get it, you smoke weed
-sign me the FUCK up 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
-today i fucked up by…
-they changed the tumblr logo again
-ask ________ a question
-E3 swedish yarn man
-DO NOT EVER ARRANGE TO MEET SOMEONE IRL FROM __________
-WHAT ARE THOOOOOSE
-the author of the journals, my brother
-get a load of that dog!
-imagine that you have zero cookies, and you split them evenly among zero friends. how many cookies does each person get? see? it doesn’t make sense. and cookie monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.
-me, shoving breadsticks into my purse
-IM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR __________
-fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak gems stronger/so this is what the homeworld really thinks of fusion
-*to the tune of ________*
-dog of wisdom
-frank ocean album
-okay…….. that sounds fake but alright
-netflix and chill
-the signs as one word
-you’ve heard of _______ now get ready for ________
-QUIT TELLING EVERYONE IM DEAD
-sonic dreams collection
-straight outta compton
-what the FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY
-man door hand hook car door
-that pink cat from boomerang
-deez nuts election poll
-theme songs for animals
-MILEY WHATS GOOD
-first day of hogwarts
-new tumblr layout
-new google logo
-screaming ducks video
-why the fuck you lying
-interrogator: say it
-boy: so u got any fantasies?
-*takes a deep breath* i lo-
-brain: you gotta
-you were red, and you liked me because i was blue
-spongebob lyric edits
-water on mars
-disappearing peace sign
-adele is back
-north posted this while playing on my phone
-taylor swift suing people
-hotline bling/dance like drake
-staff got rid of replies
-let _______ say fuck
-it’s christmas time
-jar jar renaissance
-that’s it im kinkshaming
-shia labouf watching his own movies
-that bee picture
-the picture of the guy from star trek looking scandalized
-slam da fuckin like button if u up
-dropping water filled condoms on people’s heads
-the meme depression
-one punch man
-the new paper airplane icon
-2015 in a nutshell
-star wars spoilers
-the force awakens opening crawl
-miss universe pageant
-text posts in between christmas lights
-leave it in 2015
Dex and Nursey team up during christmas time to hide some of their own decorations into the mass of christmas that exploded in the Haus.
These decorations include, but are not limited to:
The “chris” mas tree which is literally photos of every celebrity Chris in the known world hung up on the tree by paperclips. Of course a picture of Chowder is the star of this tree.
Pictures of the grinch baby everywhere. Imagine going to the bathroom in the middle of the night and seeing a big green grinch baby staring back at you
An Elf on the Shelf doll which is refashioned to look like Jack. Bitty thinks its adorable, the rest think its creepy af. Jack is always watching
At least three Beats Pills all hidden and hooked up to a bluetooth that blasts christmas music at any time. Even this one freaks them out though, when a bunch of early 90s christmas favorites that neither of them chose blast through one night. They figure it was the lax bros thinking it was a shitty prank
A goat with a red nose was brought up to the attic (“we couldn’t find a reindeer”)
Dex putting red and green food coloring in bitty’s food so everything looks festive.
And last, and certainly not least (but certainly the most cliche) Mistletoe. It didn’t change much, except more plausible deniability in peoples kisses. Also tango got sad when he saw it because he thought parts of the christmas tree got stuck…in every room of the haus.