I see so many people wanting John Egbert to be Crocker John. It’s a great and scary concept and all, but all I could think of was…

…no. 

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She can’t have him.

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No one can.

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You see, he’s not like the other characters. No one can have John Egbert. That’s his role. Ever since the beginning of Homestuck

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John has always been the steadfast most annoyingly difficult to control character, and even the almighty Condesce and Caliborn himself can’t control him. 

He is mastered by no demon, no elder god, no omnipotent doggies friendly or otherwise, and certainly no fish queen. John Egbert is, as of now, the one truly free character in all of Homestuck, held back only by his love for his friends and no weaker bonds.

Going Grimdark and Inversion

Let me be upfront when I say that, as far as I know, there has only ever been one example of a character going Grimdark in Homestuck: Rose Lalonde. Jade’s brief time spent as Grimbark!Jade is not the same since her shift was caused by Her Imperious Condescension’s mind-control, not the Horrorterrors. The Horrorterrors are the key to becoming Grimdark, and as Rose displayed, they don’t control you; they invert your aspect.

Aspect inversion is a tricky subject. How the aspects invert is fairly simple - each aspect has an opposite, after all:

Breath - Blood

Light - Void

Time - Space

Life - Doom

Heart - Mind

Hope - Rage

But class inversion is harder to pin down. There is the Passive-Active dichotomy that Calliope discussed with Dirk (Prince is active while Bard is passive), but this is not an inversion. Inverting someone’s class would require finding the class that acts as its direct opposite. As such, I will be using @classpect-shet​‘s Class Inversion Guide, which can be found here. The inversions of classes are as follows:

Heir - Mage

Seer - Witch

Knight - Rogue

Page - Thief 

Maid - Bard

Sylph - Prince

For example, if I were to go Grimdark, I would go from being a Knight of Rage to a Rogue of Hope: one who distributes inspiration and positive emotions through inspiration and positive emotions. A Mage of Space would become an Heir of Time. Et cetera. When Rose went Grimdark and succumbed to the Horrorterrors, she became a Witch of Void: one who manipulates nothingness and ignorance through nothingness and ignorance. The meaning of her words were concealed to the point where no one could understand what she was trying to say. In other words, manipulating her secrets to make others ignorant. She managed to obfuscate the troll’s viewport of her and those who she was near, creating a Blackout. Vriska said as much when she tried contacting John after their encounter with Jack on the Battlefield when she advised him to get away from Rose so she could see him.

Unlike Trickster Mode - which is incredibly unlikely to occur even with a Cherub influence in their session - going Grimdark is a very real possibility for a session so long as players (probably Derse-dreamer) have a connection to the Horrorterrors. How one would turn it off is a matter of debate. Rose only returned to being a Seer of Light when she died, so there’s no way of knowing if it can even be stopped aside from death.

So yeah! Grimdark! I’m not sure how to end this, so I’ll just add a badass picture of Grimdark!Rose